Your thoughts/opinions on Bev and the relationship with her daughters/grandkids

[Ireneparalegal]

I may be in the minority here (again! as I really liked the Tom Arnold character Arnie) but I am wanting to post my views abt Bev.

I really feel she got a rotten deal with the relationship she had with her daughters, especially Jackie. Jackie always blamed her bad life, bad relationships, etc. on her mother and how she was raised. Jackie told Bev later on that she (Jackie) was in therapy because of Bev.

After having watched Roseanne so many times, we came to learn that Bev's marriage was not good at all. Her husband was a traveling salesman who was cheating on her, though she would find this out way later in her marriage but didn't tell Roseanne or Jackie until she had to tell them.

We know that Roseanne and Jackie's father beat them when they were young. He wasn't the best dad in the world. When they realized what their father had put them through and how he cheated on their mother, how could they not come to the realization that their mother was also being abused? Maybe not physically, but emotionally. They don't know what their mother endured at his hands when they were not around. He obviously treated his family with disdain. It sounds like Jackie needed therapy BECAUSE OF HER FATHER, not their mother.

I have always like Bev. Yes, in the beginning of the series, she is somewhat annoying and so forth, but we see her trying to vie for her grandchildren's affection and love. In the episode where she buys D.J. the video game, her wanting to give Becky her old car, etc. I always hated how Darlene treated Bev the same way that Roseanne did. Darlene was only nice to Bev when she wanted something, like the episode where she dropped hints abt wanting a cd/stereo player. Bev was ready to go take her to the store to buy it for her before Roseanne found out.

Roseanne and Jackie were so eager and happy to accept the $10K their mother gave them when she handed both of them checks after she sold her home. Their happiness turned sour when Bev stated she was going to move to Lanford. My God, it wasn't like Bev was moving in with either of them, she wanted to be closer to her children and grandchildren.

Bottom line, I felt they treated Bev a lot of the times, harshly. They loved and treated Nana Mary waaaaaay better.

[Madame X]

Great post, Irene! You put a lot of effort into writing what I would have said. I think Bev is a great character and was portrayed very well by Estelle Parsons.

The writers went with the theme of a meddlesome, off-the-wall mother, but many times I think they went too far. There should have been some relief from it. Roseanne and especially Jackie treated her poorly the entire time. That allowed Darlene to follow suit without any adult putting their foot down to make her cut it out and show some respect for her grandmother. The adults cut Bev down in front of the kids and made it a standing family joke. That was wrong. I was sarcastic towards my mother but it wasn't with every interaction like the Harris girls. I had respect for my mom and understood the boundaries.

Sure, Bev was a pain. She harped on her daughters' shortcomings but I think she truly wanted what was best for them. She made hurtful comments but she loved her grandchildren, endured an abusive marriage and still had a pretty positive outlook. Most of the time she seemed not to notice everyone was laughing at her and making fun of her.

I felt sorry for her. She came running when Roseanne hurt her back, was generous with the kids, gave her daughters $10,000 apiece and wanted to be a part of the family's lives. Is that so wrong? They really treated her like crap about the Lunchbox and her moving to Lanford.

The one that treated her the best was Leon, and I felt so relieved. The writers even made Bev turn gay so she could have a life and some friends.

Hell, Dan treated his mom with more respect and she was an institutionalized wacko who tried to kill him.

[Ireneparalegal]

Madame X, so very well put. Thank you for your input. I wanted to really vent my feelings abt Bev. I see the reruns and I can't help but feel for Bev. You are right abt how the adults treated Bev, especially in front of the kids, and they never spoke up when the kids treated her just as bad. That is no respect.

As a teen I know I tested my boundaries with adults, but boy, when I f*cked up, I was shown the consequences of my actions. Darlene was pathetic when it came to showing any respect to Bev. Bev did nothing to her grandkids. She didn't deserve that mistreatment.

You are also correct in saying Bev only wanted the best for her daughters. Jackie needed therapy because she was a wreck, but only because of the mistakes JACKIE MADE, not what Bev did or didn't do. Jackie even took Roseanne to therapy with her and told her therapist how Roseanne tried to control her life. No one can control your life UNLESS YOU LET THEM JACKIE!

[Heist81]

I agree mostly.

I thought for the most part that when Roseanne and Jackie dealt with Bev, it was all in good fun and never really too over the top or too cruel, but by the later seasons, it stopped being so funny and felt a little mean and unnecessary.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by Heist81

I agree mostly.

I thought for the most part that when Roseanne and Jackie dealt with Bev, it was all in good fun and never really too over the top or too cruel, but by the later seasons, it stopped being so funny and felt a little mean and unnecessary.

yeah it was. But by then, Bev had been more "open" and a lot more fun.

[coffield3]

I think bev was horrible to her daughters and grand children but also some episodes i feel bad for her,she didnt speak up when roseanne and jacky were being beat by their father she was totally playing each child off against eachother,she took the mickey constantly out of roseanne and jacky sold the resturant to leon! gee i could go on.I guess as the show went on you didnt get any situations between roseanne and jacky with bev so the name calling etc didnt seem as funny.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by coffield3

I think bev was horrible to her daughters and grand children but also some episodes i feel bad for her,she didnt speak up when roseanne and jacky were being beat by their father she was totally playing each child off against eachother,she took the mickey constantly out of roseanne and jacky sold the resturant to leon! gee i could go on.I guess as the show went on you didnt get any situations between roseanne and jacky with bev so the name calling etc didnt seem as funny.

I have no clue as to what you mean that Bev was horrible to her kids and grandkids.

As for Bev not speaking up when her girls were being hit by their father, that is an issue that we didn't see, we only know and can only speculate from what was mentioned and from WHAT WASN'T MENTIONED. Don't you think that Bev was also being abused either physically and/or mentally? A man who beat his kids more than likely is also abusing the mother with words, emotional distress, etc. Bev was probably scared. She probably did defend her girls and paid the price for it later on when the girls were asleep.

How on earth was Bev terrible to the grandkids? If anything, they were horrible to her. Becky at least on occasion showed some niceness and respect to her. Roseanne would threaten to send the kids to their grandmother's house, what message do you think she was giving to her children by using grandma as a threat?

Bev sold the family home and gave her girls $10 grand each. How was she being terrible there?

Remember when Dan was in the hole financially and he felt he needed to go beg Bev for some financial help, how hypocritical was that? Dan was always making faces when it came to Bev, but he had no problem going to her for help when it came to $$$$.

When Bev divorced, her personality opened up and she seemed much more happier.

[mateo096]

hey, ever see S7, where in ep. 7 i believe, it shows the "real" Bev....That was funny

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by mateo096

hey, ever see S7, where in ep. 7 i believe, it shows the "real" Bev....That was funny

That's why I said after Bev got a divorce, she changed, for the better. She let out a whole new personality. It probably came abt after all those years of mental abuse from her husband and the lack of love/attention from her girls.

[Brieannas21]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

I may be in the minority here (again! as I really liked the Tom Arnold character Arnie) but I am wanting to post my views abt Bev.

I really feel she got a rotten deal with the relationship she had with her daughters, especially Jackie. Jackie always blamed her bad life, bad relationships, etc. on her mother and how she was raised. Jackie told Bev later on that she (Jackie) was in therapy because of Bev.

After having watched Roseanne so many times, we came to learn that Bev's marriage was not good at all. Her husband was a traveling salesman who was cheating on her, though she would find this out way later in her marriage but didn't tell Roseanne or Jackie until she had to tell them.

We know that Roseanne and Jackie's father beat them when they were young. He wasn't the best dad in the world. When they realized what their father had put them through and how he cheated on their mother, how could they not come to the realization that their mother was also being abused? Maybe not physically, but emotionally. They don't know what their mother endured at his hands when they were not around. He obviously treated his family with disdain. It sounds like Jackie needed therapy BECAUSE OF HER FATHER, not their mother.

I have always like Bev. Yes, in the beginning of the series, she is somewhat annoying and so forth, but we see her trying to vie for her grandchildren's affection and love. In the episode where she buys D.J. the video game, her wanting to give Becky her old car, etc. I always hated how Darlene treated Bev the same way that Roseanne did. Darlene was only nice to Bev when she wanted something, like the episode where she dropped hints abt wanting a cd/stereo player. Bev was ready to go take her to the store to buy it for her before Roseanne found out.

Roseanne and Jackie were so eager and happy to accept the $10K their mother gave them when she handed both of them checks after she sold her home. Their happiness turned sour when Bev stated she was going to move to Lanford. My God, it wasn't like Bev was moving in with either of them, she wanted to be closer to her children and grandchildren.

Bottom line, I felt they treated Bev a lot of the times, harshly. They loved and treated Nana Mary waaaaaay better.

I know this is off topic. BUT what I find VERY VERY odd is that, in the first couple of seasons of Roseanne, Jackie and Rosie had a great relationship with their dad, they seem to love him more than their mom. So why is it, in the later seasons of Roseanne, Jackie and Rosie all of a sudden hated their dad and that they couldn't stand him. I know that he cheated and what not, but they couldn't stand his guts in the later seasons.

[Buffyboy323]

Originally Posted by Brieannas21

I know this is off topic. BUT what I find VERY VERY odd is that, in the first couple of seasons of Roseanne, Jackie and Rosie had a great relationship with their dad, they seem to love him more than their mom. So why is it, in the later seasons of Roseanne, Jackie and Rosie all of a sudden hated their dad and that they couldn't stand him. I know that he cheated and what not, but they couldn't stand his guts in the later seasons.

In the later seasons, Jackie is still like that with the dad. There were several fights between Roseanne and Jackie, about Jackie constantly sticking up for their father. Jackie got mad at him when they found out about the other woman...But Roseanne was furious about that whole situation, and other stuff he did in the past.

Back on topic, I liked Bev. I agree with what most of you said about the girls treating her bad.....However, I did love the bickering she and Jackie always had with each other. That was real. Not everyone gets along with their mom....Bev was extremely annoying (oh that voice!), but I loved all her scenes. The show wouldn't have been the same if Bev wasn't that big a part of it. I'm glad they increased her role each year. The only time I had a problem with Bev was when she came out wearing that tight leather dominatrix outfit....and her whip! Aaaaaaah!

[coffield3]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

I have no clue as to what you mean that Bev was horrible to her kids and grandkids.

As for Bev not speaking up when her girls were being hit by their father, that is an issue that we didn't see, we only know and can only speculate from what was mentioned and from WHAT WASN'T MENTIONED. Don't you think that Bev was also being abused either physically and/or mentally? A man who beat his kids more than likely is also abusing the mother with words, emotional distress, etc. Bev was probably scared. She probably did defend her girls and paid the price for it later on when the girls were asleep.

How on earth was Bev terrible to the grandkids? If anything, they were horrible to her. Becky at least on occasion showed some niceness and respect to her. Roseanne would threaten to send the kids to their grandmother's house, what message do you think she was giving to her children by using grandma as a threat?

Bev sold the family home and gave her girls $10 grand each. How was she being terrible there?

Remember when Dan was in the hole financially and he felt he needed to go beg Bev for some financial help, how hypocritical was that? Dan was always making faces when it came to Bev, but he had no problem going to her for help when it came to $$$$.

When Bev divorced, her personality opened up and she seemed much more happier.

I wasnt hating bev,just that jacky and roseanne seemed to hate her! by seeing how they are on the show you think that she was awfull to them,but you dont see bev being that bad so i guessed it was there past.I love bevs character thou i find her very funny.

[Brieannas21]

Originally Posted by Buffyboy323

In the later seasons, Jackie is still like that with the dad. There were several fights between Roseanne and Jackie, about Jackie constantly sticking up for their father. Jackie got mad at him when they found out about the other woman...But Roseanne was furious about that whole situation, and other stuff he did in the past.

Back on topic, I liked Bev. I agree with what most of you said about the girls treating her bad.....However, I did love the bickering she and Jackie always had with each other. That was real. Not everyone gets along with their mom....Bev was extremely annoying (oh that voice!), but I loved all her scenes. The show wouldn't have been the same if Bev wasn't that big a part of it. I'm glad they increased her role each year. The only time I had a problem with Bev was when she came out wearing that tight leather dominatrix outfit....and her whip! Aaaaaaah!

I know all of that, I just find it odd that they hated him soooooooooo much in later seasons but loved him to death in the early ones.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by Brieannas21

I know all of that, I just find it odd that they hated him soooooooooo much in later seasons but loved him to death in the early ones.

I agree with that. I don't get that either. Could it be that what occurred in Roseanne's personal life started to play a part in the writing later on in the series? I mean, we learned that Roseanne was not happy with her real-life parents and accused her father of despicable things. This occurred at the same time Roseanne and Jackie's hatred for their father began.

No matter what, it was not consistent. Even Roseanne showed some forgiveness and compassion when their father finally died on the show. Yet, never showed any compassion or some kind of love towards their mother, who was no where near the level of their father. Bev didn't deserve that kind of behavior.

[Brieannas21]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

I agree with that. I don't get that either. Could it be that what occurred in Roseanne's personal life started to play a part in the writing later on in the series? I mean, we learned that Roseanne was not happy with her real-life parents and accused her father of despicable things. This occurred at the same time Roseanne and Jackie's hatred for their father began.

No matter what, it was not consistent. Even Roseanne showed some forgiveness and compassion when their father finally died on the show. Yet, never showed any compassion or some kind of love towards their mother, who was no where near the level of their father. Bev didn't deserve that kind of behavior.

Well Roseanne said that she has like 26 personalities, so maybe a few of her personalities wrote the later seasons