The Best One-Liners on TV (Entire Cast)

[Madame X]

Another great reference to the 2 Beckys was on yesterday. When the family is talking about going to Disneyworld, everyone freezes and the announcer says something like "the part of Becky is now being played by Sarah Chalke," etc.,
Roseanne says "Aren't you glad you are here this week?"

I love Jackie's line on the plane at the end of the Disneyworld ep: "Hey everybody, channel 12 on your headset! Nipsey Russell!"

A great line by Nancy in the Vegas episode: "We just turned our craps winnings into actual crap."

Sometimes a storyline might not be the best, but the dialogue is always superb!

[Jason16]

Another Becky reference on the Luke and Laura episode from series 6:

Roseanne:Our daughter Becky ran away from home and got married and when she came back we barely reconised her!

[Jr1986]

I loved in the season eight Halloween episode where Sarah Chalke is trick or treating, and she comments on how she wishes she had a family like the Conners. Then Roseanne says somethng along the lines of "Gee, she was nice! Wish she was my daughter!"

[Heist81]

I always liked in "White Sheep of the Family" when Darlene says,

Sounds like a typical Conner purchase to me. Hey dad, still got the electric rake?!

[LecyGoransonfan]

i always laugh my ass off whenever darlene says that line about the electric rake.

[mateo096]

Off-Topic: In your sig, to make the image appear, add a / to the last [img] so it should look like this:

[thrasher1889]

I like the bit in the episode "The Getaway, Almost" (Season 8, Ep 7) Where Dan says to DJ along the lines of...

Dan: "This is the first time i'll have had the house to myself for like - ever! "How much would it cost me for u too go out for the night?"
DJ: "I'm writin' down a number"
Dan: "Interesting - how does this grab you?"
DJ: "Are we gonna do business or you just gonna bust my chops!!"
DJ: "This thing you have done for me - I will not forget" - "i'll be home by 8. - ok 9", lol..

Love that bit, DJ sounds like the godfather.. Rofl

[SpottableMouse]

Whichever episode Dean came back to take Darlene back to Chicago:

Becky: I don't think she should be using my old boyfriends for rides.
Mark: So what? You're not done riding him yet?

A classic line from Mark that STILL makes me laugh when I hear it.

[ShamelessFanGirl]

When Darlene and Molly went to the concert in Rockford and Molly wants to hook up with one of the guys there and his tries to flirt with Darlene by trying to put his arm around her.
"Any part of you that touches me, your not getting back."

After Cathy Bohmen leaves having just meeting Jackie and the Conner's. Roseanne gives her first personal opinion of her new neighbor after her sister states that perhaps Cathy was a little uptight.[/I]
"A little uptight? Hey, man you could pull a needle out of her butt with a tractor."

Nancy and Jackie return after buying new stuff for the new Restaurant and shows the new mooing cow creamer they got and asks him what does he think.
"I think in the wrong hands, petty cash can be a dangerous thing."

Roseanne learns of D.J's peeping on Becky who of course denies the accusations and Roseanne asks him to look her in the eye and say that and to remember she can tell when he's lying. So here is his response.
"It was an accident. Could you tell?"

Jackie breaks down during thearpy appointment and Roseanne turns to the physiatrist and says: "You better call for back-up"

After learning of her brother's peeping on Molly she tells her that she will take care of it in which Molly then response that she hopes so because he could grow up to very a very disturbed individual. Darlene scoffs and says in response, "You don't understand here, Molly. This is the most normal thing he's ever done."

Becky and Darlene begin bickering with each other after Darlene had just finished inpersonating her on her phone a matter Roseanne breaks up soon after. Afterwards the two girls leave the room leaving Dan and Roseanne alone where she asks him if he has any comment on what Darlene just did and he says " Yes. If only she would use her power for good instead of evil."

[zypherix]

Dan from "Terms of Estrangement, part 1":
"It just feels like one of those days that starts off with a heart breakfast and ends with some guy in the news saying '...before turning the gun on himself'"