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swedeace · 04-28-2007, 01:50 AM

I have a feeling I am not going to be able to sleep tonight over what "could have happened" tonight between my sister and my co-worker friend. I need some opinions over this, and I'd be most appreciated to those who read and give your view on this situation and what you would think/do.

My sister and I hung out with one of my male co-worker friends and his friends over at a "Hooters" restaurant. We stood there a couple of hours just eating, drinking, and having a good time! We then decided to see a movie. However, half of the group wanted to shoot pool, so the rest of us decided to just go with them to shoot pool.

We played one practice round of pool and one real round of pool. My sister and I didn't get to be in the first round of real pool. The first round ended, so we divided ourselves in other teams. My sister walked off, and then my co-worker friend asked if he can borrow my car keys. Earlier he was talking about transfering some of his things that he left in my trunk onto one of his friend's trunks. I figured he was going to do that. Well, I played pool with the guy friends of my co-worker friend, and our round ended. We all decided to look for my co-worker friend and my sister. I thought my sister was at the restroom because she tends to take forever to use the restroom. And, we wondered what had happened to my co-worker friend.

We walked towards my car, and I first didn't see anyone inside. I figured they weren't inside, but I wondered where they could be. As I neared my car, I saw them sitting up from the backseat. Just as I saw them suddenly prop themselves to sit up, I felt like someone had knocked the air out of my stomach! I felt mortified and disgusted! You could imagine the million thoughts that ran through my mind!!!! I won't say what it looked like because this is somewhat of a PG-rated forum, but I will say that I thought the worst, especially in MY car! EW!!! If it's one thing I can't stand is for people to disrespect my personal belongings!

They stayed somewhat quiet, and one of the first things out of my sister's mouth was, "Who's going to pay for the rounds of pool inside?" I ignored her question, and I repeated told her, "I don't know!" in a sarcastic manner. I was more annoyed with what "could have" happened in MY vehicle that walking out of the pool hall without paying was the LEAST of my concerns. My co-worker's friends were sorta teasing them. You know...the guy stuff of, "Whoa...dude, you scored??"

When he got out and walked his friends to their cars, I told my sister, "I hope nothing went on!" She assured me nothing did, and I finally told her I believe her, but I still have doubts once I am finally home. *sigh*

What makes this all appalling is that my co-worker friend has a girlfriend AND two kids (a two-year-old girl and a 7-month-old baby boy), so I was hoping there was NOT any cheating going on. My co-worker friend told me about 2-3 times, "Don't tell anyone okay, Mona." I told him I won't, but I also tried to convey the words that I wanted to make sure nothing happened, especially in MY car and with MY sister.

Okay...this is pathetic that this is the FIRST time in over a month I feel like crying out of anger, resentment and frustration. I was hoping to have made it where I did NOT cry ONCE throughout the month of April. And...now this?!

I wonder....does this look just like a bad situation, or do you think I should believe my sister when she tells me NOTHING happened? She did tell me they only hugged, and she didn't feel all that comfortable. But...why would my friend say, "Don't tell anyone?" Who can I believe? What can I believe?

Janice · 04-28-2007, 02:58 AM

Their stories seem believable to me, Mona. It sound like a couple of adults who had been drinking, decided to sit in her sister's car, perhaps just to talk. People get carried away sometimes...they hug, kiss...or as you fear, even more. I just think that if they had been doing or getting close to doing the deed, they would have been in some sort of state of undress.

If your sister tells you that they only hugged, why not believe her? Unless she has a history of lying, I would take her at her word. If you make an issue out of it with her, it could cause a rift in your relationship with her, and I'm sure you don't want that. Being accusing of lying when you're not lying, to me, is one terrible feeling, and can cause resentment on the accused person's part.

I wouldn't expend any emotional energy on your co-worker friend. If he's a cheat, you can't change that, and luckily, he's not your problem. If what he and your sister were doing was innocent, he probably asked you not tell anyone because it looked bad. Things are not always as they seem.

I don't know the relationship you have with your sister, but I'm assuming it's a good one, since you were hanging out with her. You have a few choices here Mona. You can choose to view this situation with suspicion or you can choose to believe your sister. I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt.

Try to approach this with a light heart and mind. Who knows, maybe they kissed, but I doubt it would have led to the real deal in your car, with you and a crowd of people nearby. Try not to focus on what could have happened. Don't let a 'what if' ruin your weekend. I can understand why you're upset. What I'm saying is that if you view this from another vantage point, and take your friend and your sister at their words -- you'll have a nice weekend for yourself. Good luck.

TJL · 04-28-2007, 08:38 AM

Sounds to me like your co-worker friend is a dog.

He has a girlfriend and two kids and wants to talk to your sister alone in a car...yeah, if all he wanted to do was just "talk," to your sister, he could have done that while you guys were shooting pool, which is why he wants you to keep quiet about the whole thing - he got caught putting the moves on someone and doesn't want the girlfriend to find out.

As Janice said, try not to focus on what they "could have" been doing. If your sister said nothing happened, then you should give her the benefit of the doubt.

Just keep her away from your co-worker. He wants to do more than just "talk."

Number 9 Dream · 04-28-2007, 11:20 AM

I agree completely....his intentions definitely weren't honorable.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TJL

Sounds to me like your co-worker friend is a dog.

He has a girlfriend and two kids and wants to talk to your sister alone in a car...yeah, if all he wanted to do was just "talk," to your sister, he could have done that while you guys were shooting pool, which is why he wants you to keep quiet about the whole thing - he got caught putting the moves on someone and doesn't want the girlfriend to find out.

As Janice said, try not to focus on what they "could have" been doing. If your sister said nothing happened, then you should give her the benefit of the doubt.

Just keep her away from your co-worker. He wants to do more than just "talk."

swedeace · 04-28-2007, 06:30 PM

Thank you for your views, everyone. I appreciate all of your pieces of advice, especially Janice.

Janice, I do have to admit that your heartfelt post touched me and made me cry. I am on a borderline relationship with my sister. I love her and tolerate her, yet I can hate her and cannot be clsoe to her at different intervals. It's a tugowar at times.

I did have a heart-to-heart talk with my sister and explained to her that I could not sleep until 2:00 a.m. because this incident occured in my head over and over. I explained to her that I had to be honest and feel like I still felt uneasy and doubtful about what happened.

She told me she was quite honest and nothing did happen. Well, nothing major had happened. The only thing was that he did hug her when she was talking about her MS situation, and he did kiss her on the cheek. Some of you brought up asking if she has a history of lying. No, she does not. However, it does irritate me when I bring up a general question, and she avoids answering it in a general sense. That's where I feel paranoid about little suspicions in the first place.

In conclusion, I do believe her words, but there is just this bit of disgust that is hidden under this shock. Disgust because the hug/cheek kiss happened in my car and between my sister and co-worker friend. Another part of this situation is that I thought to myself, "Why couldn't a guy friend do the same thing to me? You know, talk in a private place like this where I can lay head on him so he hug me and just kiss my cheek." I just get so uptight that this kind of thing never happens to me! It always feels like my sister is the "better one" or the "pretty one" or the "more loveable one." Yes, I became jealous at such a situation, to be honest.

I just hope this evening won't feel too weird during our mutual female co-worker friend's engagement party that's being hosted. I RSVPed me and my sister. And, the aforementioned male co-worker will be there. ONLY the three of us know about this weird situation which makes it even more awkward if I feel awkward and have my female co-worker friends asking me, "What's wrong?" I can't really say much or else rumors might abound. *sigh*

dawsongirl · 04-28-2007, 10:31 PM

I would have started beating the crap out of both of them. Seriously. And being that I'm not a trusting person, I wouldn't have believed either one of them for a second. And I still wouldn't.

Sharop · 04-29-2007, 06:44 PM

From what you said, it seems more likely that nothing serious happened. I'm glad you had a talk with your sister.

And I'm glad you seem to be feeling a bit better about the whole thing.

My only advice would be to try not to let it prey on your mind too much, which may be difficult. It might have to be one of those things that you just try to forget about as quickly as possible.

swedeace · 04-29-2007, 08:06 PM

Hey Michelle!

Good to see you posting! I haven't seen you posting around here in months, I believe. Either that or we haven't been posting/reading the same threads. Anyway...it's great to see you!

Thank you for your words. Yeah, I am more and more believing my sister. I mean, she has never lied to me in such a huge manner. Besides, she already knows how I do not tolerate disrespect for my personal property. I just told her she left a HUGE slutty-like impression by sitting and talking in the car rather than just going back to the pool hall. She understands and regrets the situation, even if nothing sexual happened.

Just like I already told her....I still feel a shadow of doubt only because of the disgusted feelings/throughts I wrote in my last post.

Sharop · 04-30-2007, 06:34 PM

[QUOTE=swedeaceGood to see you posting! I haven't seen you posting around here in months, I believe. Either that or we haven't been posting/reading the same threads. Anyway...it's great to see you!

[/QUOTE]

Oh, I've been around! I just briefly wasn't posting from the end of March up until last week (roughly three weeks or so) because I'm quite busy.

Anyway, I hope you soon get over this incident.

Mr. Stefani · 04-30-2007, 06:48 PM

gross i'd start by taking a blacklight to that backseat and scrubing it down good.

TripperFan · 05-01-2007, 05:51 PM

Totally agree with TJL - because she's your sister, give her the benefit of a doubt.

But your co-worker is a slimeball and definitely wants more and would have probably gone for it had they not been caught.

04-28-2007, 01:50 AM	#1
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	What would you think if you saw this? I have a feeling I am not going to be able to sleep tonight over what "could have happened" tonight between my sister and my co-worker friend. I need some opinions over this, and I'd be most appreciated to those who read and give your view on this situation and what you would think/do. My sister and I hung out with one of my male co-worker friends and his friends over at a "Hooters" restaurant. We stood there a couple of hours just eating, drinking, and having a good time! We then decided to see a movie. However, half of the group wanted to shoot pool, so the rest of us decided to just go with them to shoot pool. We played one practice round of pool and one real round of pool. My sister and I didn't get to be in the first round of real pool. The first round ended, so we divided ourselves in other teams. My sister walked off, and then my co-worker friend asked if he can borrow my car keys. Earlier he was talking about transfering some of his things that he left in my trunk onto one of his friend's trunks. I figured he was going to do that. Well, I played pool with the guy friends of my co-worker friend, and our round ended. We all decided to look for my co-worker friend and my sister. I thought my sister was at the restroom because she tends to take forever to use the restroom. And, we wondered what had happened to my co-worker friend. We walked towards my car, and I first didn't see anyone inside. I figured they weren't inside, but I wondered where they could be. As I neared my car, I saw them sitting up from the backseat. Just as I saw them suddenly prop themselves to sit up, I felt like someone had knocked the air out of my stomach! I felt mortified and disgusted! You could imagine the million thoughts that ran through my mind!!!! I won't say what it looked like because this is somewhat of a PG-rated forum, but I will say that I thought the worst, especially in MY car! EW!!! If it's one thing I can't stand is for people to disrespect my personal belongings! They stayed somewhat quiet, and one of the first things out of my sister's mouth was, "Who's going to pay for the rounds of pool inside?" I ignored her question, and I repeated told her, "I don't know!" in a sarcastic manner. I was more annoyed with what "could have" happened in MY vehicle that walking out of the pool hall without paying was the LEAST of my concerns. My co-worker's friends were sorta teasing them. You know...the guy stuff of, "Whoa...dude, you scored??" When he got out and walked his friends to their cars, I told my sister, "I hope nothing went on!" She assured me nothing did, and I finally told her I believe her, but I still have doubts once I am finally home. sigh What makes this all appalling is that my co-worker friend has a girlfriend AND two kids (a two-year-old girl and a 7-month-old baby boy), so I was hoping there was NOT any cheating going on. My co-worker friend told me about 2-3 times, "Don't tell anyone okay, Mona." I told him I won't, but I also tried to convey the words that I wanted to make sure nothing happened, especially in MY car and with MY sister. Okay...this is pathetic that this is the FIRST time in over a month I feel like crying out of anger, resentment and frustration. I was hoping to have made it where I did NOT cry ONCE throughout the month of April. And...now this?! I wonder....does this look just like a bad situation, or do you think I should believe my sister when she tells me NOTHING happened? She did tell me they only hugged, and she didn't feel all that comfortable. But...why would my friend say, "Don't tell anyone?" Who can I believe? What can I believe?

04-28-2007, 08:38 AM	#3
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Sounds to me like your co-worker friend is a dog. He has a girlfriend and two kids and wants to talk to your sister alone in a car...yeah, if all he wanted to do was just "talk," to your sister, he could have done that while you guys were shooting pool, which is why he wants you to keep quiet about the whole thing - he got caught putting the moves on someone and doesn't want the girlfriend to find out. As Janice said, try not to focus on what they "could have" been doing. If your sister said nothing happened, then you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Just keep her away from your co-worker. He wants to do more than just "talk."
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04-29-2007, 06:44 PM	#7
Sharop Andy Gibb aged 12 Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 03, 2004 Location: Courthouse Square, Hill Valley, beside the clocktower, 10:04 p.m., November 12th 1955 Posts: 3,912	From what you said, it seems more likely that nothing serious happened. I'm glad you had a talk with your sister. And I'm glad you seem to be feeling a bit better about the whole thing. My only advice would be to try not to let it prey on your mind too much, which may be difficult. It might have to be one of those things that you just try to forget about as quickly as possible.
	__________________ http://rainbowlight.proboards102.com My new astral projection forums Doc: Don't worry! As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles per hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower, everything will be fine!

05-01-2007, 05:51 PM	#11
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	Totally agree with TJL - because she's your sister, give her the benefit of a doubt. But your co-worker is a slimeball and definitely wants more and would have probably gone for it had they not been caught.
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

04-28-2007, 02:58 AM	#2
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Their stories seem believable to me, Mona. It sound like a couple of adults who had been drinking, decided to sit in her sister's car, perhaps just to talk. People get carried away sometimes...they hug, kiss...or as you fear, even more. I just think that if they had been doing or getting close to doing the deed, they would have been in some sort of state of undress. If your sister tells you that they only hugged, why not believe her? Unless she has a history of lying, I would take her at her word. If you make an issue out of it with her, it could cause a rift in your relationship with her, and I'm sure you don't want that. Being accusing of lying when you're not lying, to me, is one terrible feeling, and can cause resentment on the accused person's part. I wouldn't expend any emotional energy on your co-worker friend. If he's a cheat, you can't change that, and luckily, he's not your problem. If what he and your sister were doing was innocent, he probably asked you not tell anyone because it looked bad. Things are not always as they seem. I don't know the relationship you have with your sister, but I'm assuming it's a good one, since you were hanging out with her. You have a few choices here Mona. You can choose to view this situation with suspicion or you can choose to believe your sister. I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Try to approach this with a light heart and mind. Who knows, maybe they kissed, but I doubt it would have led to the real deal in your car, with you and a crowd of people nearby. Try not to focus on what could have happened. Don't let a 'what if' ruin your weekend. I can understand why you're upset. What I'm saying is that if you view this from another vantage point, and take your friend and your sister at their words -- you'll have a nice weekend for yourself. Good luck.

04-28-2007, 06:30 PM	#5
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Thank you for your views, everyone. I appreciate all of your pieces of advice, especially Janice. Janice, I do have to admit that your heartfelt post touched me and made me cry. I am on a borderline relationship with my sister. I love her and tolerate her, yet I can hate her and cannot be clsoe to her at different intervals. It's a tugowar at times. I did have a heart-to-heart talk with my sister and explained to her that I could not sleep until 2:00 a.m. because this incident occured in my head over and over. I explained to her that I had to be honest and feel like I still felt uneasy and doubtful about what happened. She told me she was quite honest and nothing did happen. Well, nothing major had happened. The only thing was that he did hug her when she was talking about her MS situation, and he did kiss her on the cheek. Some of you brought up asking if she has a history of lying. No, she does not. However, it does irritate me when I bring up a general question, and she avoids answering it in a general sense. That's where I feel paranoid about little suspicions in the first place. In conclusion, I do believe her words, but there is just this bit of disgust that is hidden under this shock. Disgust because the hug/cheek kiss happened in my car and between my sister and co-worker friend. Another part of this situation is that I thought to myself, "Why couldn't a guy friend do the same thing to me? You know, talk in a private place like this where I can lay head on him so he hug me and just kiss my cheek." I just get so uptight that this kind of thing never happens to me! It always feels like my sister is the "better one" or the "pretty one" or the "more loveable one." Yes, I became jealous at such a situation, to be honest. I just hope this evening won't feel too weird during our mutual female co-worker friend's engagement party that's being hosted. I RSVPed me and my sister. And, the aforementioned male co-worker will be there. ONLY the three of us know about this weird situation which makes it even more awkward if I feel awkward and have my female co-worker friends asking me, "What's wrong?" I can't really say much or else rumors might abound. sigh

04-28-2007, 10:31 PM	#6
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I would have started beating the crap out of both of them. Seriously. And being that I'm not a trusting person, I wouldn't have believed either one of them for a second. And I still wouldn't.

04-29-2007, 08:06 PM	#8
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Hey Michelle! Good to see you posting! I haven't seen you posting around here in months, I believe. Either that or we haven't been posting/reading the same threads. Anyway...it's great to see you! Thank you for your words. Yeah, I am more and more believing my sister. I mean, she has never lied to me in such a huge manner. Besides, she already knows how I do not tolerate disrespect for my personal property. I just told her she left a HUGE slutty-like impression by sitting and talking in the car rather than just going back to the pool hall. She understands and regrets the situation, even if nothing sexual happened. Just like I already told her....I still feel a shadow of doubt only because of the disgusted feelings/throughts I wrote in my last post.

04-30-2007, 06:34 PM	#9
Sharop Andy Gibb aged 12 Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 03, 2004 Location: Courthouse Square, Hill Valley, beside the clocktower, 10:04 p.m., November 12th 1955 Posts: 3,912	[QUOTE=swedeaceGood to see you posting! I haven't seen you posting around here in months, I believe. Either that or we haven't been posting/reading the same threads. Anyway...it's great to see you! [/QUOTE] Oh, I've been around! I just briefly wasn't posting from the end of March up until last week (roughly three weeks or so) because I'm quite busy. Anyway, I hope you soon get over this incident.

04-30-2007, 06:48 PM	#10
Mr. Stefani Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: Jul 15, 2001 Posts: 20,757	gross i'd start by taking a blacklight to that backseat and scrubing it down good.