Wednesday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (4/20-4/30):

[Frank Gannucci]

(Showtime):

All times are Eastern.

The movie is 90 minutes long or so.

PG

Mike Epps as Ed Norton. Regina Hall as Trixie Norton. Cedric the Entertainer as Ralph Kramden. Gabrielle Union as Alice Kramden.

Ralph & Norton hatch a get-rich-quick scheme to get them out of Brooklyn and onto easy street. Standing by their husbands are devoted wives Alice and Trixie, who help their guys make ends meet by being waitresses at a neighborhood diner.

Day Time VCR Plus Codes:
Fri. Apr. 20, 2007 1:35p 0
Fri. Apr. 20, 2007 9p 2198
Sun. Apr. 29, 2007 9a 0
Sun. Apr. 29, 2007 5:20p 0
Mon. Apr. 30, 2007 4:50a 0

(AmericanLife TV):

TV-G

All episodes are one hour long.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

The first VCR Plus Code is for the first showing. The second one is for the second showing.

Sat. Apr. 21, 2007 7p & 11p #9 - "Petticoat Jungle": The Kramdens & Nortons go on a safari. The men go hunting -- Ralph kills a rabbit, Ed kills an elephant. (VCR Plus Code: 6042/80686.)

Sat. Apr. 21 8p & Sun. Apr. 22, 2007 7p #10 – “Run Santa Run”: Ralph doesn't know that Alice has taken in knitting to pay for his Christmas present, so when he discovers baby things in the apartment he assumes Alice is pregnant. He takes on a job as a sidewalk Santa with Norton as his helper. They are both arrested as operatives in a bookmaking operation. (VCR Plus Code: 9150/4087.)

Sat. Apr. 28, 2007 7p & 11p #11 - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph. (VCR Plus Code: 3515/94225.)

Sat. Apr. 28 8p & Sun. Apr. 29, 2007 7p #12 – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony. (VCR Plus Code: 5320/NA.)

"Jellybeans":

Ralph: "When I win that $100, I am going to get myself some bowling shoes, a leather lumber jacket, and you are going to get a string of pearls."

Alice: "Yeah, and if you lose, I will have a string of jellybeans around my neck."

"Life upon the Wicked Stage":

(Alice is dressed up as a hula girl. Trixie is dressed
up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes
in.)

Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?"

Alice: "That's Trixie."

Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she
(Alice)?"

"Be It Ever So Humble":

Ed: "How long is the lease for?"

Ralph: "The usual."

Ed: "What is the usual?"

Ralph: "99 years."

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

(Ralph gets introduced to Happy the puupy dog who is big and around Ralph, he gets vicious.)

Alice: "That's Happy."

Ralph: "He doesn't look happy to me.""Oh My Aching Back":

(Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.)

Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?"

Ralph: "98.6."

Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?"

Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?"

(A pause.)

Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?"

Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111."

"Quiz Show":

Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous, that I couldn't answer the first question."

Ralph: "What question was that?"

Ed: "My name."

"Head of The House":

Ed: "In my household, I am the boss of the household."

Interviewer: "Mmm-hmm."

Ed: "I think that any man that is afraid of his wife, isn't a man."

Interviewer: "Mmm-hmmm."

Ed: "And I can't stree this too strongly that a husband is the boss."

Interviewer: "Yes?"

Ed: "Now don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she will kill me."

"Head of The House":

Ralph: "Men are responsible for the shape the world is in."

Alice: "Well, I am glad to hear one of you finally admit it."

"Ralph's Diet":

Ralph: "I don't need to diet anymore. I lost a pound."

Alice: "Ralph, when you lose a pound, it's like Bayoone losing a mosquito."

Credit to imdb.com, moviephone.com, Yahoo! Groups, You're A Riot!, tvguide.com, and goodtv.com.

[Brian Damage]

I love the quotes, keep 'em coming!