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¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 04-05-2007, 10:08 AM

Ok so that guy Ive been making threads about this part year, Curt, has finally escalated into... something. These past few days or so we've been texting a lot and it has gotten quiet flirty. So to make a long story somewhat shorter, the other nites texts consisted of a lot of heavy flirting and then it somehow turned into a rumor around work that I have no sexual experience lol. So then lastnite he texts me around 10pm and by this time the snow is coming down real hard and you can barely see out. But I told him to pick me up anyways since we were bored and I didnt really think hed come all the way down [about 40 min] to pick me up. Then around the time he wouldve been here I texted where he was.. he said in bed alone and I thought I was going to die. But then he pulled up into my driveway about 2 min. later and by now its well after 12:30am. We both knew nothing is open past 12 or 1, yet he came down and got me anyways asking where 'the hiding spots' were lol. We went to some elementary school and just talked then it got playful with snow and somehow we made it out into the snow. Finally we left and by this time Im sitting next to him in the middle as opposed to in my seat. Then we drive off again to somewhere in Maine no clue to some fork in the road where we just talk some more. So we get to leave and I said my neck hurts because of the angle Im sitting in and so he puts his arm around me and asks if its better and he said yes and he said that he figured thats what I wanted. So we're like that the whole way home.

OK NOW THIS IS WHERE I GET CONFUSED. The night was nothing sexual at all, not even a kiss tho I couldnt tell if he wanted to or not because obv. Im freaking out inside not knowing what he wants etc. So I go home and text him later asking if he made it home ok. He said yes and that if Id do a favor and not talk about tonite or any future outtings we have bc he doesnt want to be a part of the rumormill. I said thats fine and I finally ask him 'so what are we then?' He goes on to tell me that he really enjoys hanging out with me but he doesnt have 'romantic' feelings for me, but he really likes flirting with me and likes it being recipricated. I thought when I saw that I was gonna freak out and cry like a girl would, but Im actually not that bothered by it, but Im just SO CONFUSED. Why would he act like that allllllllll night and esp. these past couple nights getting more flirty/sexual then say he doesnt have those kind of feelings? Does he really and is protecting himself, or is he stringing me along? I told him to call me today before work and he said ok and I told him Im totally confused by him since Im getting all these mixed signals and he said we'd talk about it more later on. I JUST DONT GET IT.

Sorry that was way too long but I really need a guys opinion seeing as how Curts pretty much the only guy friend I have which kind of defeats the purpose

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 04-05-2007, 10:13 AM

ALSO SORRY FORGOT SOMETHING. Surprising I know since it wasnt long enough lol.

Just a quick question.. if he doesnt have any sort of feelings for me, why risk driving in unplowed roads and snowing like crazy taking him over an hour to get here just to 'flirt'? I mean, we were doing that over the phone just fine.. why bother? I wouldnt have driven my car to see him lastnite I never wouldve made it.

Lex Luthor · 04-05-2007, 11:29 AM

For some guys "romantic" = relationship and "flirting" is just sexual.

The fact that he went to all the effort to come and get you during a snow storm makes it hard to believe that he only wants to be friends. However the fact that he has told you he is not interested in you in a "romantic" way should light some warning bells.

I have seen this so many times where the guy eventually ends up sleeping with the girl but afterwards explains, I already told you I was not interested in a releationship.

I would be very cautious of making any next steps with this guy until you know EXACTLY what his intentions are. It could be just plain harmless flirting but then again that is not what you are looking for either. Be smart and don't get overly caught up in the moment.

Cheers

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 04-05-2007, 11:58 AM

Thanks! Well quite frankly Im not gonna sleep with him unless it evolved into a relationship. I have no problem saying Im a virgin so to just give it up to him is stupid IMO. He seemed really insistent on knowing tho, but I dunno if he was just being flirty or not.

Mr. Stefani · 04-05-2007, 12:39 PM

Crystal. You ever text me at 5:30 AM again our friendship is over.

<3

Mr. Stefani · 04-05-2007, 03:13 PM

oh yeah and like ive told you, guys like to play games with girls heads, esp when they know that they like them....case and point:

Quote:

and he said that he figured thats what I wanted.

We also like the attention. Thats what it seems like to me, I could be wrong, although I usually never am

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 04-06-2007, 10:46 AM

Well I guess I dont need any advice anymore lol. We went out driving again lastnite after work at like, 230 am and he parked at some other disclosed area where we just talked. He had his arm around me again and we're just resting and he asks me if I had given up on the other nights question [of what we were now] and I said pretty much and he asked why. I explained everything and pretty much poured my heart out and we had a nice talk. Hes pretty much known Ive liked him for a while lol even tho I never said anything. Hes not ready for a relationship right now because hes been single for 2 years and likes it that way. He said he never intended for me to get this confused and whatnot and his intentions are to not string me along because I mentioned the mix signals and whatnot. He said he likes the flirting and whatnot only because its easier and relationships complicate things and as of now he doesnt have the time for one so it wouldnt be fair to me. A lot of the questions I asked him he was like 'I dont know', until I really persued an answer and most were too my advantage, like him liking me more as a friend, but still not wanting to start anything romantically. We're hanging out again tonight but we finally both know how we feel and I thought Id be off crying my eyes out and whatnot being so upset, but Im actually really ok with it. I obv. have no problem with the just flirting and would hope someday he would be ready to start a relationship even tho hes not sure when.

Mr. Cranky · 04-06-2007, 11:02 AM

It's going to be hard hanging out with a guy you're crazy over and he's coming from a different place. I couldn't do that. I respect the guy because he's honest. He didn't tell you this two days after a romp in the hay. Good luck and keep your options open. As long as you're still hung up on this guy though, no other guy may stand a chance. It's a tough situation you're in. I feel for you. My daughter went through this a few years ago.

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 04-06-2007, 11:18 AM

Thanks. He said he doesnt want to be like 'ok youre not gonna see any other guys', but in my case there havent been any other guys so theres no one else to pursue lol.

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 04-10-2007, 07:36 PM

OK this has gotten more complicated. We've been going out just about everynite now and Im coming home later and later [530, 6, 630 AM...] and its getting hotter. Basically theres some sort of relationship, but we're not bf/gf. Its like we're together in the sense where we're not looking for other people, but not together in the sense because he doesnt want a relationship. I keep asking him about it and he never has an answer. My friends tell me to back off with the questions and give him time, otherwise I could be pushing him away, which is the furthest thing I want. He also mentioned one nite if he wasnt sure if he really liked me, or all the attention hes getting. But then he also said later that he doesnt want a relationship, but with me it just feels right. I dunno what to do! I thought it was getting easier, but now its just more complicated!!!

04-05-2007, 10:08 AM	#1
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	I need a guys opinion Ok so that guy Ive been making threads about this part year, Curt, has finally escalated into... something. These past few days or so we've been texting a lot and it has gotten quiet flirty. So to make a long story somewhat shorter, the other nites texts consisted of a lot of heavy flirting and then it somehow turned into a rumor around work that I have no sexual experience lol. So then lastnite he texts me around 10pm and by this time the snow is coming down real hard and you can barely see out. But I told him to pick me up anyways since we were bored and I didnt really think hed come all the way down [about 40 min] to pick me up. Then around the time he wouldve been here I texted where he was.. he said in bed alone and I thought I was going to die. But then he pulled up into my driveway about 2 min. later and by now its well after 12:30am. We both knew nothing is open past 12 or 1, yet he came down and got me anyways asking where 'the hiding spots' were lol. We went to some elementary school and just talked then it got playful with snow and somehow we made it out into the snow. Finally we left and by this time Im sitting next to him in the middle as opposed to in my seat. Then we drive off again to somewhere in Maine no clue to some fork in the road where we just talk some more. So we get to leave and I said my neck hurts because of the angle Im sitting in and so he puts his arm around me and asks if its better and he said yes and he said that he figured thats what I wanted. So we're like that the whole way home. OK NOW THIS IS WHERE I GET CONFUSED. The night was nothing sexual at all, not even a kiss tho I couldnt tell if he wanted to or not because obv. Im freaking out inside not knowing what he wants etc. So I go home and text him later asking if he made it home ok. He said yes and that if Id do a favor and not talk about tonite or any future outtings we have bc he doesnt want to be a part of the rumormill. I said thats fine and I finally ask him 'so what are we then?' He goes on to tell me that he really enjoys hanging out with me but he doesnt have 'romantic' feelings for me, but he really likes flirting with me and likes it being recipricated. I thought when I saw that I was gonna freak out and cry like a girl would, but Im actually not that bothered by it, but Im just SO CONFUSED. Why would he act like that allllllllll night and esp. these past couple nights getting more flirty/sexual then say he doesnt have those kind of feelings? Does he really and is protecting himself, or is he stringing me along? I told him to call me today before work and he said ok and I told him Im totally confused by him since Im getting all these mixed signals and he said we'd talk about it more later on. I JUST DONT GET IT. Sorry that was way too long but I really need a guys opinion seeing as how Curts pretty much the only guy friend I have which kind of defeats the purpose
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

04-05-2007, 11:29 AM	#3
Lex Luthor I'm bringing Lexy back Senior Member Join Date: Jun 07, 2005 Location: The Great White North Posts: 2,374	For some guys "romantic" = relationship and "flirting" is just sexual. The fact that he went to all the effort to come and get you during a snow storm makes it hard to believe that he only wants to be friends. However the fact that he has told you he is not interested in you in a "romantic" way should light some warning bells. I have seen this so many times where the guy eventually ends up sleeping with the girl but afterwards explains, I already told you I was not interested in a releationship. I would be very cautious of making any next steps with this guy until you know EXACTLY what his intentions are. It could be just plain harmless flirting but then again that is not what you are looking for either. Be smart and don't get overly caught up in the moment. Cheers
	__________________ I look forward to resuming our verbal judo - Lex Luthor It's a complicated world, Clark. Only the naïve view it in black and white - Lex Luthor Genevieve: "I underestimated you, Lex." Lex: "Well, that’s a common mistake." Lionel Luthor: "We don't need to play games, son." Lex Luthor: "Dad, games are all we got."

04-06-2007, 11:02 AM	#8
Mr. Cranky Loveable fuzzball Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 07, 2005 Location: Cranksville Posts: 651	It's going to be hard hanging out with a guy you're crazy over and he's coming from a different place. I couldn't do that. I respect the guy because he's honest. He didn't tell you this two days after a romp in the hay. Good luck and keep your options open. As long as you're still hung up on this guy though, no other guy may stand a chance. It's a tough situation you're in. I feel for you. My daughter went through this a few years ago.
	__________________ Proud Member of The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Abortion stops a beating heart COPs = Chronically Offended People FOX NEWS RULES

04-05-2007, 10:13 AM	#2
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	ALSO SORRY FORGOT SOMETHING. Surprising I know since it wasnt long enough lol. Just a quick question.. if he doesnt have any sort of feelings for me, why risk driving in unplowed roads and snowing like crazy taking him over an hour to get here just to 'flirt'? I mean, we were doing that over the phone just fine.. why bother? I wouldnt have driven my car to see him lastnite I never wouldve made it.

04-05-2007, 11:58 AM	#4
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	Thanks! Well quite frankly Im not gonna sleep with him unless it evolved into a relationship. I have no problem saying Im a virgin so to just give it up to him is stupid IMO. He seemed really insistent on knowing tho, but I dunno if he was just being flirty or not.

04-05-2007, 12:39 PM	#5
Mr. Stefani Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: Jul 15, 2001 Posts: 20,757	Crystal. You ever text me at 5:30 AM again our friendship is over. <3

04-06-2007, 10:46 AM	#7
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	Well I guess I dont need any advice anymore lol. We went out driving again lastnite after work at like, 230 am and he parked at some other disclosed area where we just talked. He had his arm around me again and we're just resting and he asks me if I had given up on the other nights question [of what we were now] and I said pretty much and he asked why. I explained everything and pretty much poured my heart out and we had a nice talk. Hes pretty much known Ive liked him for a while lol even tho I never said anything. Hes not ready for a relationship right now because hes been single for 2 years and likes it that way. He said he never intended for me to get this confused and whatnot and his intentions are to not string me along because I mentioned the mix signals and whatnot. He said he likes the flirting and whatnot only because its easier and relationships complicate things and as of now he doesnt have the time for one so it wouldnt be fair to me. A lot of the questions I asked him he was like 'I dont know', until I really persued an answer and most were too my advantage, like him liking me more as a friend, but still not wanting to start anything romantically. We're hanging out again tonight but we finally both know how we feel and I thought Id be off crying my eyes out and whatnot being so upset, but Im actually really ok with it. I obv. have no problem with the just flirting and would hope someday he would be ready to start a relationship even tho hes not sure when.

04-06-2007, 11:18 AM	#9
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	Thanks. He said he doesnt want to be like 'ok youre not gonna see any other guys', but in my case there havent been any other guys so theres no one else to pursue lol.

04-10-2007, 07:36 PM	#10
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	OK this has gotten more complicated. We've been going out just about everynite now and Im coming home later and later [530, 6, 630 AM...] and its getting hotter. Basically theres some sort of relationship, but we're not bf/gf. Its like we're together in the sense where we're not looking for other people, but not together in the sense because he doesnt want a relationship. I keep asking him about it and he never has an answer. My friends tell me to back off with the questions and give him time, otherwise I could be pushing him away, which is the furthest thing I want. He also mentioned one nite if he wasnt sure if he really liked me, or all the attention hes getting. But then he also said later that he doesnt want a relationship, but with me it just feels right. I dunno what to do! I thought it was getting easier, but now its just more complicated!!!