Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 03-31-2007, 07:36 AM

"Norton Moves In" (Color version):

Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen."

Ralph: "Just a moment. Whenever you mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Alice: "My mother was offered to appear in silent pictures but she turned it down so she can have a family."

Ralph: "For your information, the reason why your mother was not in silent pictures was because she couldn't keep silent."

"Six Months To Live":

Ralph: "That does it Norton. In six months, I will be dead."

Ed: "Don't get so upset. Doctos can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave him six months to live. Boy, did he make a monkey out of that doctor."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "He lived for almost eight months."

"Dinner Guest":

Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?"

Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired."

Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set."

Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set."

Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired."

Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired."

"Boys & Girls Together":

Alice: "Well Ralph, I am ready to sit down."

Ralph: "So?"

Alice: "Well, who's going to help me with my chair?"

Ralph: "There's only two of us in the room so unless you have a torn ligament or something, you'll do it."

"Dial J For Janitor":

(Ed is trying to bang his pipes to get water for his apartment. Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WOULD YOU STOP THAT BANGING? I GOT A HEADACHE."

Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I NEED WATER. I NEED TO TAKE A BATH."

Ralph (yells): "DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY DIRTY JUST FOR THE NIGHT."

"Unconventional Behavior":

(Ed & Ralph are handcuffed on a train. Ed tried syaing "Boomph" to get out, like he was instructed but it doesn't work.)

Ralph: "I have had enough of the boomphing. Get the key out and open
them up."

Ed: "There ain't no key. You got to boomph your way out."

Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO BOOMPH YOU OUT OF THE WHOLE CAR."

"Man In The Blue Suit":

(Ed is ripping up his jacket just so he would look like a bum to get his suit back from the Help The Needy Society.)

Ralph: "I paid $8 for this jacket."

Ed: "Would you stop being so penny wise and half a pound foolish? You need to get the $73 from that jacket's pocket. $8 from $73 is, uh...You got a lot left over."

"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Alice: "I burned my figner on that darned stove."

Ralph: "If you are not burning yourself, it's my food."

03-31-2007, 07:36 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,041	Saturday's Quotes: "Norton Moves In" (Color version): Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen." Ralph: "Just a moment. Whenever you mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall." "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": Alice: "My mother was offered to appear in silent pictures but she turned it down so she can have a family." Ralph: "For your information, the reason why your mother was not in silent pictures was because she couldn't keep silent." "Six Months To Live": Ralph: "That does it Norton. In six months, I will be dead." Ed: "Don't get so upset. Doctos can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave him six months to live. Boy, did he make a monkey out of that doctor." Ralph: "What happened?" Ed: "He lived for almost eight months." "Dinner Guest": Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?" Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired." Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set." Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set." Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired." Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired." "Boys & Girls Together": Alice: "Well Ralph, I am ready to sit down." Ralph: "So?" Alice: "Well, who's going to help me with my chair?" Ralph: "There's only two of us in the room so unless you have a torn ligament or something, you'll do it." "Dial J For Janitor": (Ed is trying to bang his pipes to get water for his apartment. Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.) Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WOULD YOU STOP THAT BANGING? I GOT A HEADACHE." Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I NEED WATER. I NEED TO TAKE A BATH." Ralph (yells): "DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY DIRTY JUST FOR THE NIGHT." "Unconventional Behavior": (Ed & Ralph are handcuffed on a train. Ed tried syaing "Boomph" to get out, like he was instructed but it doesn't work.) Ralph: "I have had enough of the boomphing. Get the key out and open them up." Ed: "There ain't no key. You got to boomph your way out." Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO BOOMPH YOU OUT OF THE WHOLE CAR." "Man In The Blue Suit": (Ed is ripping up his jacket just so he would look like a bum to get his suit back from the Help The Needy Society.) Ralph: "I paid $8 for this jacket." Ed: "Would you stop being so penny wise and half a pound foolish? You need to get the $73 from that jacket's pocket. $8 from $73 is, uh...You got a lot left over." "Ralph Kramden Inc.": Alice: "I burned my figner on that darned stove." Ralph: "If you are not burning yourself, it's my food."