Episode Reviews: Honeymooners Episodes #6-26

[Frank Gannucci]

This episode is the first version of the "Quiz Show" episode. I
haven't seen it, but I think it is practically the same as the second
version (except that Pert Kelton plays Alice.)

Episode #6
TV: Hasn't been shown in syndication.
VCR: Has never been released on VHS.
DVD: Hasn't been released on DVD.

Ralph and Alice come home from being on a quiz show with a lot of
Krinkley Krax Cereal. Ralph slams the door and the whole set
shakes. I should also mention that the video of this episode isn't
exactly 100% great. Ralph: "Well, are you satisfied? Are
you saitisfied?" Alice: "Yes, I am satisfied. I am satisfied."
Ralph: "Well, you ought to be satisfied. Thanks to your wrong answer
on that quiz program, we have now won a year's supply of Krinkley
Krax." You think that Ralph would be happy that Alice tried her
best to answer that quiz show question, but no. This is Ralph
Kramden, we are talking about people. Alice: "During the ride home in
the cab, you were yelling at me from the top of your lungs."
Ralph: "I had too. There was so many boxes between us that I could
not see you." Ralph complains about how he has to face the people
down in the garage. Meaning that in this episode, Ralph works for a
taxi cab company.

Ralph goes on a tangent on what would happen if they had won. Him and
Alice also have an arguement when they talk about there family
members. Ralph says those Krinkley Krax are no prize. Alice: "Well,
what harm can it do? We can use them for something." Ralph agrees. He
can use them on the steps. That way, he will be warned when his
mother-in-law is coming. Ralph and Alice then have an arguement about
Alice's parents as well as Ralph's brother Eddie and how stupid he
is. Ralph: "How can you look at me and say that Eddie is the
stupidest person you ever seen?" Alice leaves the room.

Ed comes in. He looks around and says: "Looks like you robbed the
A&P." Ralph then talks about what happened on the quiz show and how
he answered all his questions correctly and how Alice didn't. Ed says
that one time he was on a quiz show, he couldn't answer the first
question that they gave him because of nervousness. That being his
name. Ha!

"Happy" Larry Barnabee along with several other people come in. He
explains Alice's question was: "Who was President after Grover
Clevland?" He assumed that it was wrong. He later found out that
Alice was right since Grover Clevland had two unconsecutive terms.
That's the first time that quiz show made a mistake. Since Alice got
her question right, it was now Ralph's turn. D'oh. Not something that
Ralph wants to hear.

They set up the recording device so they can record the host's
question and Ralph's answer. "Happy" Larry Barnabee: "Mr. Kramden,
what did Marconi invent?" Ralph: "Marcaroni." Ha! Ralph gets told
that his answer was wrong. Ralph has been mad at Alice for no reason.
The host of the quiz show says: "Mr. Kramden, too bad you are not as
smart as your wife."

Ralph apologizes to Alice and she accepts.

Episode #7:
TV: Hasn't been shown in syndication.
VHS: Has not been released on VHS.
DVD: Has not been released on DVD.

This episode is the first version of the "Honeymooners XMas Party"
episode. I haven't seen it, but I think it is practically the same as
the second version (except that Pert Kelton plays Alice.)

The episode opens up with Alice decorating the Christmas tree. Ralph
comes home with potato salad from DeVitos. She says that he should
get it from Krauss'. Ralph explains that at DeVitos that Reginald Van
Gleason as running a party and that a lot of people are there
including people who came from Connecticut. Ralph, disgustedly,
leaves to get potato salad from Krauss'.

Trixie comes in and she reveals that Ed gave her an orange juice
squeezer. You squeeze the oranges on top of Napoloean's head and the
juice squirts out of his ears. Same gift that he would give her
in "'Twas The Night Before Christmas." A guy knocks on the door and
Trixie answers it and within a second she knows his name: Fenwick
Babbit. Either Trixie saw him before or he gave her his name very
softly and quickly. Fenwick is played by Jackie Gleason. After pacing
his beer barrel in the apartment, he begins to cut the ice. He hits
his finger and yells in Ralph Kramden fashion. Now I wonder why Alice
and Trixie don't come up with the thought that Ralph and him look
alike. When Trixie goes upstairs to get something for Fenwick,
Fenwick asks: "Does she live nearby?" The crowd laughs. When Trixie
comes back, Fenwick relizes that he is in the wrong apartment and
leaves. But not before he says to Alice: "You are a nice lady."

Ed comes in and says that he has come with, Frances Langford. The
crowd applauds for the guest star. She sings "Great Day" and "I Love
Paris" for Alice, Ed, and Trixie, and dances with Ed. Joe The
Bartender comes in (also played by Gleason). Of course after hearing
Joe speak, Alice, Ed and Trixie don't come up with tht thought that
him and Ralph look alike. Joe The Bartender reveals something that
just happened a few minutes ago at Krauss'. This poor soul comes in
and takes the last bit of steak and gives it to a kitten that he
bought in from the cold. Fatso Fogarty sees this an dbecomes mad. He
sets up a nasty practical joke in which he tells him he had "won" a
diamond and then handed him a cheap rhinestone. What made the hoax
particularly pathetic was that the poor soul, totally taken in,
cherished his prize. Alice, moved by the tale, tells Joe to send the
poor soul up, and she'll give him a real present. Joe, Frances and Ed
leaves. Trixie: "Now that Ed is gone, we can relax."

The poor soul comes up (played by Jackie Gleason in panotime) comes
up and Alice gives him a real present. Once again, Alice and Trixie
don't even think that him and Ralph look alike. He gives her
the "diamond" and leaves.

Trixie says that they are showing some Christmas Specials on TV, so
she asks Alice if they can watch it on Alice's TV (which probably
looks terrible). Alice says that the TV is n the birnk. Gee, in "TV
or Not TV", Alice says that the Kramdens never got a TV. Rudy the
Repairman comes by to fix it. Rudy is played by Jackie Gleason and
once again by looking and hearing Rudy speak, Alice and Trixie don't
think that Ralph and him look alike. Alice explains all the trouble
she is having with some of the channels. Some of the channels that I
think she talks about: 4, 5, 7, 11, and 13. Now, since I used to live
in North Jersey and about an hour away from New York, I can tell you
that those channels in real life do exist. And do you know what, the
channel 11 that Alice is taling about would start to carry reruns of
the Honeymooners four years later and hascarried them for the better
part of 50 years. Rudy, after hearing Alice's strange problems,
brings in Whitey. Whitey talks to Ralph in language that is not real
English. But Rudy understands him anyway. Great comedy. Rudy makes a
pass at Alice and Trixie, destroys the television set, and departs.
Alice tells Trixie that it doesn't really matter, since she just had
the set on trial.

Ed Norton comes in and brings in little Eddie Hodges that is
going to sing at Krauss'. "He is not going to drink", says Ed. Eddie
had to be a kid. Ed sings: "Welocme My Baby Back Home." It's
interesting that Jackie allowed this kid to sing on his show when you
think about the fact that he didn't want kids to appear on his show
because he thought that kids may not be able to act on cue. Both Eds
leave. Alice says that Ed is always looking to help someone. Trixie
says that after a wedding he drove a couple of family members home.
The only problem was that it was their wedding. Oh boy!

Ed comes back in and Reginald Van Gleason comes in (played by Jackie
Gleason). He brings in gifts for Ed, Trixie, and Alice. He also
brings in his band and June Taylor Dancers, but with Alice's
permission. The band plays a song VERY loudly and Gleason dances with
the dancers. Try doing what Reggie is doing in an ordinary apratment
at night in real life and you will probably get a TON of complaints
(and maybe get kicked out too.) Anyway, at one point Reggie dances to
far to the left and you can see the stage curtain. Another think that
wasn't in the script. Once again, Alice, Ed and Trixie don't come up
with the conclusion that Reggie and Ralph look and probably sound
alike (maybe except for Reggie's mustache). Reggie and his whole
entourage leave. Ed: "Reggie is okay in my book." Ed says that in
Reggie's limo, he watches wrestling. Not on TV, he watches wrestlers
wrestling each other in the limo in a pro wrestling match. Oh God!
Trixie is afraid to leave because another star may drop by. Alice
says that she wonders where Ralph is. Ed says to Trixie that he will
give her what every woman wants on her hand, that being rubber
gloves. Ha!

Ed and Trixie leave. Ralph comes by with a policeman. Alice explains
the whole situation to the policeman and leaves. Ralph reveals what
happened. After he returned the original potato salad, he had to walk
two LONG blocks to Krauss only to find out that Krauss was asleep. He
kocked so hard on his door that he knocked out the window and got in
trouble with the police. Anyway, Alice and Ralph exchange gifts.
Ralph, opens his gift first and finds out that Alice gave him rubber-
lined gloves. Alice gets an ornage juice squeezer from Ralph. The
same gift that Ralph will giver again in "'Twas The Night Before
Christmas." Ralph says that after 14 years of marriage, every
Christmas gets better and better. 25 years later in an ABC Special,
Ralph and Alice say that they are celebrating 25 years of marriage
(the writers thought that that would be appropriate since that show
marked the 25th anniversary of the show.) The hug and kiss.

I lot of people probably don't like this episode since it's a great
departure from traditional episodes. I liked it because it's a great
X-Mas episode and it offers a change of pace. Jackie Gleason must
have had to do some quick costume changes in tis episode since this
episode (like all the other ones in the 50's) were done live.

Episode #9
TV: This episode has not been released in syndication.
VHS & DVD: This episode has not been released on either of these
formats but MPI might be releasing this episode in late 2006 or 2007.

This episode might be an earlier version of "Two-Family Car." I
haven't seen this episode, but I have seen "Two-Family Car", so
here's the review.

Alice is cleaning the fire escape when the mop part of the mop falls
and it lands on Ralph's head. Ralph (sarcastically): "This is one of
those New Italian haircuts." Ralph says to Alice that he is going
bowling so make dinner fast. A man comes by with a telegram. Ralph
accepts the telegram. The man expects a tip. Ralph gives him a dime.
Ralph (to the man): "I'm doing my job to hold down inflation now get
out of here." Ralph reads the telegram. Ralph (excitedly, yells): "OH
BABY! OH BABY!" He tells Alice of all the times that Alice said that
Ralph was stupid for taking chances to win some things when the odds
were low. Hey, I would do the same thing. Ralph explained that he won
a contest from the Theresa Grata Service League and the grand prize
is a 1953 4 door Sedan Deluxe. According to the telegram, the prize
will arrive tonight along with a person from the league. He says that
since they have a car, he will no longer have to borrow Cassidy's
car. Ralph: "Now, I don't even have to talk to that bum Cassidy."
Ralph is sure being ungrateful. Ralph promises to take Alice for a
spin in the car. Ralph then explaines that he got a ticket that gave
him the one and a million chance of winning the grand prize by
walking out a bowling alley with Norton. The sign for the contest
said something like: "Give to charity and have a chance to win a
prize." A ticket costs 50 cents. All he had was a quarter so he asks
Norton for a quarter. Alice says that since Ralph did that, Norton
owns half the car. Ralph goes into the bedroom.

Ralph (coming out, yells): "HE OWNS HALF THE CAR?" Ralph is uspet.
Alice asks him to bring Norton down. Ralph doesn't want to do so
tonight. Ralph: "Just one night without that nut (Ed)." Alice is not
hearing anything of it. She asks him to call Ed down. Ralph calls Ed
down. Ralph tries to cheat Norton by offering to pay back the twenty-
five cents after explaining that he has a gulity conscience by asks
him for a quarter that other night that would have given him enough
money so he could get a ticket that will guarantee a one and a
million chance to win a car. Ed: "We won the car! We won the car! We
won the car!" Ralph (to Alice): "Are you saitisfied? I told him."
Ralph then makes plans for him and Alice to use the car on Sunday
just so they can see Alice's mom. Ed: "I have plans to use the car on
Sunday. I want to drive to Maryland. The Aberdeen Proving Grounds is
doing a test on dum-dum bullets." Ralph: "You can forget the dum-dum
bullets dum-dum." Ralph & Ed then make an agreement for each of them
to have the cars some days. Ralph offers the car for five days to Ed.
Those days are Mon-Fri. Ed doesn't like that so he wants the other
two days. Ralph: "Fine! Your two days are Wednesday and Thursday."
Alice: "Ralph!" Ed: "Leave him alone Alice. I got my two days." Boy,
is Ed dumb. Alice says that this car thing needs to be settled
equally. Ralph: "What do you want me to do, cut the car in half?"
Ed: "That's good. One of us will take the back seat and one of us
will take the front seat." Ralph offers to take the front seat.
Ed: "That's where the engine is and if the engine needs any repair,
you are to take care of it." Ralph now exchanges the front seat with
the back seat. Ed: "That's where the gas tank is so if the car needs
any gas, you will take care of it." Ralph: "I don't care."

Alice reminds Ralpht that that man from the Theresa Grata Service
League should arrive here in a few minutes and he has to have his
ticket ready for him. He goes to get it and comes back with a box
full of contest tickets. Ed spots a ticket for an old contest in
which the grand prize was a 1932 Essex. Ed reads the name of the
chairty that gave Ralph the ticket: "The League to add chlorine to
the Passaic River." Ralph gets the Theresa Grata Service League
ticket out. Ed: "No wonder we won. The ticket has my lucky number.
26409333206988764322." Quite possibly, that would be the world's
largest lucky number EVER for a person. The man from the Theresa
Grata Service league comes with the prize...a turkey. Man: "You
didn't win first prize (the car), you won 26th prize. Ed: "Hey Ralph,
you said you wanted the back half. Ha ha ha ha." Ralph (yells): "GET
OUT!" Ralph is upset that another one of his dreams has gone down the
tubes.

Episode #10
TV: Hasn't been released on TV.
VCR: Attached to "One Big Happy Family"
DVD: Attached to "A Weighty Problem", "Lunch Box" & "The Man In The
Blue Suit."

This episode, much like "Quiz Show" (2nd version), is not exactly in
100% condition. Look at the left while this episode is playing and
you'll notice that the left side is blurry.

Ralph comes home with a baby boy that he found on the bus along with
food. He was laying on the back seat of the bus. Alice: "How did it
get on the bus?" Ralph: "You don't expect him to walk do you?" Ralph
brung him home rather bring him to the Foundlin home because it was
getting pretty late when his day was done. He didn't want to be late
for dinner and he looked to be hungry so he thought he would bring
him home and him, the baby and Alice would have dinner. Alice says
that they don't have anything to feed a baby. Ralph says he got some
hamburger for the baby. Alice says he is too young to eat hamburger
because of the meat. Ralph: "I got the hamburger from Krauss. There
is very little meat in it."

Alice says she is going outside to get some pablum for the baby. As
she goes into the bedroom to get her coat, she has troube opening the
door. Isn't it ironic that they would have trouble with the door in
futre episodes? Ralph says that everyone pampers babies now. He is
impling that babies are now being spoiled. Ralph talks about how
tough it was for him to be a baby. When he was a baby, his parents
didn't put him over his shoulder to burp him. They gave him bruma
seltzer. Ha! Alice leaves.

The baby cries. As Ralph puts him on the table, I think you can tell
that the baby isn't real. Ralph tries to make the baby laugh. He
tries to get Norton. As he yells out he window for him, Ed comes in.
After Ralph tells him to come down, he notices that Ed is in the room
with him. Ralph tells Ed where he got the kid. Ed searches for the
baby's name. He looks on the baby's jacket and reads "John
Wanamaker." He assumes that that's the baby's name. Ha! Ralph tells
that is where the baby got his jacket made. The baby cries and Ed
assumes that the baby is crying because it's a Republican baby. I
assume a Democrat was president when this episode was made. Ralph
says: "Why should he cry if he's a Rupublican baby." Ed: "He's
hollering for a change." Ralph's response to that remark is his "Pow!
Right in the kisser" routine.

Ed suggests that since the baby is crying, Ralph should give him some
milk. Ed purs the milk into a glove since the glove will be used for
a nipple. Ed: "We should patent this idea. It's a great idea for
mother's with quintuplets. As Ralph puts the gove right-side up with
the bottle being closed by Ralph's hand, Ed gets a pair of scissors
to cut one of the fingers. Can you sense that they are going to do
something stupid? I can. Sure enough, when Ed cuts one of the
fingers, Ralph and Ed get a facefull of milk. They would later do the
same thing in the episode titled: "The Adoption." Ralph of course
balmes Ed for the mishap in this episode. Ed leaves but as he leaves
he says that the baby's name is John Wanamaker's baby. Ralph says
that the baby culdn't be him since John s a millionaire. So Ed says
that if it was John's baby, he would leave him in a taxi. Ed leaves.

Alice comes home with the food and sees that the baby is going to
sleep. Alice: "Isn't he darling? He is going to sleep." Ralph
disagrees with what Alice says because when he becomes 40, his wife
will say: "Turn over Herman, you're snoring." Ralph says that we are
going to keep him. Ralph will say that he will work night and day and
forget about sleeping.

The police comes looking for the kid. Alice and the kid go into the
bedroom. Detective Brady of the police comes in and says that he is
looking for the kid. He demands to know where the kid is. He called
the Foundlin home and he wasn't there. Ralph assumes that he must
have stepped out. Ha! The Detective says that the kid's mother is
frantic and the reason why she left the kid on the bus alone because
she thought she was doing the best thing for the kid and the reason
why she wants him back is because she can't get along with the kid.
Ralph turs the kid over. The Detective and the kid leave with the
baby's food.

Ralph says that when the kid left, the baby looked at Ralph as if he
was saying: "Let me stay here." Ralph says he din't mean what he said
when he said that baby makes noise. Ralph: "I love kids. I want to
have 20 of them." They wound up having nowhere near twenty kids
during the whole series. As they hug and kiss, Ralph nicefully
says: "One of these days, one of these days."

I may have mentioned in the episode entitled: "Quiz Show" that Ralph
probably drove a cab in the beginning of the series. In this episode,
he drove a bus. So Ralph probably drove a cab, then quit to drive a
bus, then quit to drive a cab, then joined the bus company again or
when he says: 'I have to face the people down at the garage."
in "Quiz Show", he may have referred to the garage at the bus
company.

Episode #12
TV: This episode ahsn't been seen in syndication.
VHS & DVD: Hasn't been released on either of these formats but MPI
may release this episod eon DVD in late 2007 or 2008.

This episode is an earlier version of "Halloween Party." I haven't
seen this episode but I have seen "Halloween PArty", so I am assuming
it's one and the same.

The Kramdens and Nortons are getting dressed up to go to Ralph's
boss' party. Alice is dressed as an angel. Trixie comes in dressed as
a sailor. Alice gave Ralph a very unique costume to say the least.
Alice: "Hey Ralph, come on out and show the costume you are going to
wear." Ralph (yells from the bedroom): "I'LL BE OUT! I'LL BE OUT!"
Ralph comes dressed with a sweatshirt, a hat, and a grass skirt that
is pulled up to his chest. He hates his costume and asks what he is.
Alice: "Your a Zulu Chief." Ralph: "If this is what a Zulu Chief
wears, I hate to be a private citizen in that tribe." Ha! Trixie goes
upstairs.

Ralph complains about his costume. He says Alice's costume must have
been easy to make. It wasn't. Alice reveals the hard work that she
had to go through to make her costume. Ralph decides to go into the
bedroom. Ed comes in dressed as Clara Bow, a woman. Alice says hello
to Ed. Ed: "How did you recognize me?" A mousetrap goes off in the
bedroom and it has Ralph's finger in it. Ralph yells in pain and
tells Ed he has a mousetrap on his finger. Ed: "What are you going
as, a mouse?" Ed takes the trap off Ralph. Ralph yells to Alice as to
why she has a mousetrap in he closet (where he got the mousetrap)
where she should have one at another place that I can't remember. She
says that she did put that mousetrap in that other place. Ralph: "Two
mousetraps? Who are you showing off for?" Ed says something to Ralph
in which he says: "What do you think I am, an idiot?" Ed: "Ain't that
what you are supposed to be?" Ralph (to Alice): "He doesn't even know
who I am." Alice: "I don't know Ralph. He came pretty close." Ha!
Ralph decides that he wants to rip up his tux and go as an elegant
bum. Alice says no. Ralph: "Why? I am nt going to wear it again. All
my brothers are married and your sister is not going to get hooked."
Gee, that was nice. NOT!

Trixie comes bac and pains Ed's fingertips. Ralph comes out and rips
his tux and puts it on. Ed: "Ralph, you'll be the biggest bum at the
party." Freddie Muller and hsi wife come by to pick them up and they
are dressed to the teeth. Even though the boss' party is on
Halloween, it's a normal dance and not a costume party. Fred sees
Norton and thinks that it's Alice. Ed corrects him. Freddie and his
wife leave. Ed: "Why are we sitting around like mopes for? Why don't
we go out trick-or-treating?" Question: If all of them went trck-or-
treating, wouldn't that be a TAD immature for people their age? The
Nortons leave. Ralph apologizes to Alice. They hug and kiss.

Episode #13
TV: Attached to "Expectant Father."
VCR: Attached to "Ralph's Sweet Tooth" & "Pickles."
DVD: Attached to "My Fair Landlord", "Halloween Party", "Lost Job"
& "Ralph's Sweet Tooth."

In this episode, Ralph has a terrible cold but by the way he's been
acting, you think he was MUCH sicker than he is. Alice is trying to
nurse him back to health. Trixie comes by, but of course if you see
this episode on TV, Trixie is already in the beginning scene.

Ralph doesn't want a doctor to come by because he thinks the doctor
will charge him like $10 to paint his throat. Paint his throat?
Ralph: "I can have this whole joint painted for $8." Alice says that
doctors don't paint throats anymore for people who have colds. Alice
makes Ralph some water to put his feet in. Ralph puts his feet in the
water. The water pouring from Alice's kettle is scolding hot. As
Ralph is screaming in pain, you can see Joyce Randolph trying her
best not to laugh. It was that funny.

After Trixie leaves, Ralph complains about Alice bringing in people
when he is sick. Ralph then asks Alice to take off the plaster that
on his back. He has a cold that is so severe, that he has to have
plaster on his back? Taking it off is painful for Ralph. So
after Alice is halfway through taking it off, Ralph thinks that she
has taken it all of his back. She reveals that she only took some of
it off. Ralph says to pleave the other half of it back on.

Ralph tells Alice a story on how he knew someone who won money and
lost it. Alice tells Ralph that she took out a life insurance policy
on him. Ralph of course has a fit and accuses her of wanting to see
him die. She calls her selfish. Alice then says that she took a life
insurance policy on her too. Ralph says that he's sorry and Alice
forgives him.

Episode #14
TV: Attached to "Lucky Number."
VCR: Attached to "Ralph's Sweet Tooth" & "Cold"
DVD: Attached to "Boys & Girls Together", "Anniversary Gift", & "This
Is Your Life"

The episode opens with Ralph and Alice retuning home after going on a
long shopping spree. Immediately, they get into an arguement on what
Alice spent that day. If you see this episode on TV, you will notice
that the episode begins right in the MIDDLE of the arguement.

Ralph is upset that Alice just spent his whole paycheck: $42.50 a
week. Ralph says that he doesn't want his salary revealed to the
whole building. So Alice yells: "$42.50 A WEEK! $42.50 A WEEK! $42.50
A WEEK!" Ralph decides that Alice wants to make it public, so he
makes it public by yelling out the window what he earns per week.
This same spiel by both would be repeated in two more episodes "The
Next Champ" & "Brother Ralph." But in the latter episode, Ralph
decides not to make his salary public and another difference is that
in both episodes, he earns $62 a week.

Ralph is also complaining that he's tired of Alice dragging him all
over the neighborhood for her shopping spree. One of the things Alice
did was walk three more blocks from one store to another store to buy
pickles. She says she saved a few cents by doing that becuase in the
other store they were in, pickles cost more.

Ralph says because Alice spent his whole paycheck, he doesn't have
any money,much like Alice. But, when Ed Norton comes down to borrow
$5, Ralph is more than happy to give it to him. He hid the money in a
very safe place. Ed leaves. Alice complains that Ralph lied. But
Ralph says, since he used the $5 that Ed borrowed, he now doesn't
have enough money to buy Alice her anniversary present. Alice thought
that Ralph forgot. So when the present arrives at the house, Ralph
says he has no money. So Alice pays for it, by getting the money that
she hid in a very safe place.

Ralph now knows that ALice lied to him also. Alice reveals that she
was going to use that money to buy Ralph a gift. After she says that,
Alice says that she needs a pickle. Ralph jumps to the conclusion
that they are going to have a baby. He gets so excited, but then
Alice breaks the news to him that she has an alergy and she needs
those pickels to help her get cured. But, she says that one of these
days, they will have a baby. The only baby, they ever wound up having
was one in which they adopted and had to give it back to the original
mother. The storyline in which Ralph thought that Alice was pregnant
was repeated a few times after they made this episode.

Episode #15
TV: Attached to "Goodnight Sweet Prince."
VCR: Attached to "Cottage For Sale."
DVD: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand", "Alice Plays Cupid" and "Cottage
For Sale."

The episode opens up with Ralph seeing how many jellybeans he can put
into the can jar. Alice comes home after visiting her ill mother. She
says that she wants to buy a dress that is on sale. Alice eventually
notices that Ralph hasn't said hello to her and is still counting.
Alice asks him what he is doing. Ralph responds by saying that on his
way home, he stopped by a store and in the store they had a contest
in which you had to guess how many jellybeans are in the jar. He got
an idea. He got a jar that looks like the one the store had and
bought some jellybeans. I don't know what the name of the store is.
He figures that without guessing on his part, he will win the prize
which he thinks is $100. Alice says that Ralph's head is full of
jellybeans.

Alice says to Ralph to come with her so she can buy the dress.
Alice: "Come on! Hurry up! The sale ends tonight." Ralph: "So does
the contest. I am not leaving until I finish counting." Alice says
that the first night of the sale, she couldn't go because Ralph was
tired and on the second night, she couldn't go because Ralph had to
go bowling. Question: Why does Alice need Ralph to get the dress? Is
it because she thinks it isn't safe for her to be walking down the
street with a dress all by herself? Just a thought.

Ralph makes a mistake in counting. He says: "4,442" so Alice corrects
him by saying that there is no 4,443 jellybeans in the jar.
Ralph: "Why are you getting me all mixed up for? Now, I have to start
all over again." I am not to sure if her correction was correct.

Ed Norton comes in wearing his traditional Ed Norton outfit, but only
this time he's wearing a white tank top rather than a white t-shirt.
Ralph is still counting, but he forgot how many jellybeans are in the
jar, so he asks Alice who says: "3,478." Forget about the fact that
she said that there was more than 4,000 jellybeans in the jar a few
seconds ago. Ralph is worried that he will forget, so he tries to
write the number down. As he does this, Ed decides to eat some of the
jellybeans in the jar. Ralph: "Why did you eat those jellybeans for?"
Ed: "What is the matter? What are they, poisned?" Ralph: "No, they
are counted."

Ralph says to Ed that he is in a contest and explains the rules of
the contest to Ed. Ed says that all those contests are crooked.
Ed: "I was in a contest once. You had to name all the states. I got
gyped out of the first prize. I named 66 states. The guy that won
only named 48." This was before the U.S. had 50 states. Question:
Where did Ed get all the other states from, Canada, other countries?
Ralph says that Ed is a mental case.

Ralph says that he is finished counting. So he asks Ed is he can use
his phone that is in the kitchen. Ed says that Trixie is dressing in
there because there is no window shade in the bedroom. Ralph: "Could
you call the people at the store and tell them that the number of
jellybeans is 4,450." Ed: "4,000 what?" Ralph: "4,550." That is not a
typo folks. Ralph once again got the number wrong. Question: Doesn't
Ralph know that if Ed called with the right answer, that the people
at the store will assume that Ed is the winner? Just a thought. Ed
leaves.

Ralph says that he is finished counting. Alice says that she has had
one dress in the last five years. Ralph says that she has had a blue,
pink, brown, and a green dress. Alice: "Yup, this is it and I have
run out of dye."

Ed comes back with the great news that Ralph has won the contest. Ed
syas that the first prize isn't $100. Ed says that it's a gift
certificate meaning that if you buy a $1,000 worth of furniture at
that store, you get a $100 worth free. Ralph: "What kind of prize is
that? Ed: "It's not a total loss. You can stick this jar of
jellybeans in the window and win your own contest." Question: How is
that idea supposed to win Ralph money? Ed leaves.

Alice notices that the $10 that she was going to use ofr the dress is
gone. (The dress was $10 on sale.) Ralph says that he bought the
jellybeans wiht the money. Ralph says with the $100 that he was
planning to win, one of the things he was going to buy her was a new
Thanksgiving outfit. (This episode was shown just before Thanksgiving
in 1952.) Ralph says he is sorry. Alice forgives him. Alice: "Ralph,
I got you and that's plenty to be thankful for." Ralph: "You're the
greatest."

Episode #19
TV: Attached to "Ralph's Diet".
VCR: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand".
DVD: Attahced to "Hot Dog Stand", "Jellybeans" and "Cottage For Sale".

Before I begin this review, in John Katsigeorgis' book entitled: "To
The Moon: The Honeymooners Book of Trivia", it states that episode
#19 was "Glow Worm Cleaning Powder" and it aired in January '53 and
not this episode. That is probably wrong because in "The Honeymooners
Lost Episodes", it states that "Glow Worm Cleaning Powder" didn't air
until June '53 (his website says the same thing that the Lost Episode
Book too.)

Episode #6
TV: Attached to "Ralph's Diet".
VCR: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand".
DVD: Attahced to "Hot Dog Stand", "Jellybeans" and "Cottage For Sale".

Before I begin this reveiw, let me say this minor point. On the TV
Land website, they label this episode as "Ralph Plays Cupid." Did the
episode get retitled or was this an error on TV Land's part?

I have the TV version of this episode, so the episode opens up with
Ralph coming home with Ed and Alice already there. You can almost
tell that the beginning of this episode has been edited on TV. Alice
asks Ralph is she got waht she asked for at the bakery. Ralph says
yes he did, but this will be the last time that he ever gets anything
on his way home. Why? Ralph waited at the bakery and he saw a sign
that said: "Pick A Number." Ralph waits for a half-hour and says to a
lady that he has been waiting longer than anybody else that's on line
and he has a number from the "Pick A Number" sign. The lady
says: "You took the price tag off a birthday cake." You think Ralph
would tell the difference between a price tag and an ordinary number
tag (unless of course there was no $ sign on it.) Ed found the
situation funny, but sees that Ralph is upset about it, so he leaves.

Ralph sees four seats at the table and wonders why. He says that the
person that is coming over, George, is single. Alice asked Henrietta
to come over. Alice: "She is a nice single girl." Ralph is worried
that he will be transferred over to drive a bus over at Staten
Island. George is the traffic manager at the bus company, so he is in
charge of those decisions.

Ralph sees all the food that Alice has out. Ralph says that any day
he can get this food in a restaurant. Alice says that Ralph should
take him to one. Ralph: "That won't be neccessary. All I have to do
is put up a sign that says 'Take off your hat and coat.' and he won't
know the difference." Gee, that's giving your boss a lot of credit as
far as his intelligence, is it?

Henrietta, a big lady, comes over and says the funny story that
happened at the bakery. She said that some dope took the price tag
off a birthday cake, thinking it was a regular number on the "Pick A
Number" sign. Henrietta notices that the dope (aka Ralph Kramden) is
married to Alice. Ralph helps Henrietta off with her boots but
accidently pulls Henrietta to the floor. Henrietta goes into the
bedroom.

George comes over and after exchanging "Hellos", he gets notified
that a single girl is also over too. George says that he's already
engaged. Ralph: "You should see this monster (Henrietta)." The
audience laughs as if they know what the relationship between George
and Henrietta is. The girl is revelead as Henrietta. George gets
upset that Ralph called Henrietta a monster so they leave. As they
leave, George says to Ralph that he will be tarnsferred over to
Staten Island. D'oh! Not something that Ralph wanted to hear. But,
Ralph and Alice laugh it off anyway.

Episode #20
TV: Attached to "Two Tickets To The Fight."
VCR: Attached to "Letter To The Boss" & "Dinner Guest."
DVD: Attached to "Letter To The Boss", "Dinner Guest" and "Ralph
Kramden's Greatest Schemes."

The episode opens with Alice and Trixie rehearsing for an upcoming
play. In the play, Alice mentions that she is going to kill someone.
Trixie thinks that Alice will be great in the play. Some boy comes by
to deliver some pills for Ralph. Alice doesn't have anything to offer
the boy in exchange. She offers a banana, but he declines saying
that "He's not a monkey." He leaves. Alice and Trixie rehearse their
lines for the play in the bedroom.

Ralph & Ed come in and overhear what Alice and Trixie are saying.
Ralph thinks that Alice is going to kill him. When Ralph hears that
Alice says that everytime "he" kisses her, she gets violently sick.
Ralph assumes that Alice is taking about him. Ralph also says that
everytime that he kisses Alice, he gets weak and breaks out into a
sweat. Ed: "How do you like that, she makes you sick too." Alice and
Trixie meets the two boys. Trixie and Ed leave. Ed says to
Ralph: "See you tomorrow...I hope."

Ralph talks about what he heard in the bedroom, so Alice assumes he
is taking about the play. Alice: "I have been in a mental rut lately
and this is something that I always wanted to do." Alice says that
her family might come in and see it. Ralph gets upset becuase he
thinks that Alice's family wants him dead. Alice: "My sister may come
in from Pittsburgh." Ralph gets upset all the more. Alice: "My mother
is all for it." Ralph gets upset more. Alice offers Ralph the pills.
Ralph naturally thinks that the pills are poison.

Ralph then tells Alice what he heard Alice say in the bedroom. He
says that she is planning to kill him. Alice then decides to play a
joke on Ralph saying that the pills are poison but she is going to
digest the pills. She does. Ralph is frantic, thinking that Alice is
going to die. So, he calls Norton down and tries to help
Alice "recover." Ralph says that he loves Alice. Ed comes down and
Ralph tells him that Alice needs to "recover." Ralph gets the First
Aid book bu he's too nervous, so Ed reads it. Alice then "recovers"
and says she was playing a joke on Ralph. Ralph: "Norton, get out of
here. Me and Alice are going to have a fight." Ed leaves.

Ralph: "Alice, for the first time since we have been married, I am
going to beat you up." Alice says that he isn't because he loves her.
Ralph says: "Well, I mean it." They kiss.

Episode #21
TV: Attached to "Two Tickets To The Fight."
VCR: Attached to "Letter To The Boss" & "Dinner Guest."
DVD: Attached to "Letter To The Boss", "Dinner Guest" and "Ralph
Kramden's Greatest Schemes."

The episode opens with Alice and Trixie rehearsing for an upcoming
play. In the play, Alice mentions that she is going to kill someone.
Trixie thinks that Alice will be great in the play. Some boy comes
by to deliver some pills for Ralph. Alice doesn't have anything to
offer the boy in exchange. She offers a banana, but he declines
saying that "He's not a monkey." He leaves. Alice and Trixie
rehearse their lines for the play in the bedroom.

Ralph & Ed come in and overhear what Alice and Trixie are saying.
Ralph thinks that Alice is going to kill him. When Ralph hears that
Alice says that everytime "he" kisses her, she gets violently sick.
Ralph assumes that Alice is taking about him. Ralph also says that
everytime that he kisses Alice, he gets weak and breaks out into a
sweat. Ed: "How do you like that, she makes you sick too." Alice and
Trixie meets the two boys. Trixie and Ed leave. Ed says to
Ralph: "See you tomorrow...I hope."

Ralph talks about what he heard in the bedroom, so Alice assumes he
is taking about the play. Alice: "I have been in a mental rut lately
and this is something that I always wanted to do." Alice says that
her family might come in and see it. Ralph gets upset becuase he
thinks that Alice's family wants him dead. Alice: "My sister may
come in from Pittsburgh." Ralph gets upset all the more. Alice: "My
mother is all for it." Ralph gets upset more. Alice offers Ralph the
pills. Ralph naturally thinks that the pills are poison.

Ralph then tells Alice what he heard Alice say in the bedroom. He
says that she is planning to kill him. Alice then decides to play a
joke on Ralph saying that the pills are poison but she is going to
digest the pills. She does. Ralph is frantic, thinking that Alice is
going to die. So, he calls Norton down and tries to help
Alice "recover." Ralph says that he loves Alice. Ed comes down and
Ralph tells him that Alice needs to "recover." Ralph gets the First
Aid book bu he's too nervous, so Ed reads it. Alice then "recovers"
and says she was playing a joke on Ralph. Ralph: "Norton, get out of
here. Me and Alice are going to have a fight." Ed leaves.

Ralph: "Alice, for the first time since we have been married, I am
going to beat you up." Alice says that he isn't because he loves
her. Ralph says: "Well, I mean it." They kiss.

Episode #22
TV: Attached to "Guest Speaker."
VCR: Attached to "Goodbye Aunt Ethel.
DVD: Attached to "My Fair Landlord", "The Cold", "Halloween Party"
& "Ralph's Sweet Tooth."

The episode opens up as Ralph Kramden comes home from a day's work.
The Kramdens and Nortons are planning to go to the Royal Chinese
Gardens for dinner. Ralph mentions something about a guy by the name
of Irvine Sharpio. For some reason, the audience laughs when he says
that. Was he a guy who worked for The Jackie Gleason Show and/or The
Honeymooners?

Ralph and Alice notice that Ralph brough home a pink slip. Uh oh!
You know what that means, right? Ralph thinks he got fired after 12
years of working for the bus company. Question: In the episode
titled "Quiz Show" that aired about several months before this one,
didn't Ralph say he worked for a cab company? (Also, notice that in
the next season, Ralph said he worked for the bus company for nine
years. A season or tow after that, he siad he has worked for the bus
company for 15 years. Wow! Talk about factual errors.) The Nortons
come down and now Ralph & Alice can't afford to go out with the
Nortons. The Nortons leave.

A person from the bus company comes up to take Ralph bowling. Ralph
doesn't want to go. Ralph explains how he brought home a pink slip.
The guy laughs, saying that they never used those pink slips in
years and that Ralph brought home the wrong thing so he's not fired.
Ralph gets upset at him, then later calms down. Now, Ralph wants to
go bowling with him, but the other guy, upset with Ralph, leaves.
Ralph: "Sore head." Ralph yells at the Nortons, saying that they can
go to dinner now.

Episode #23
TV: Attached to "Finger Man."
VCR: Attached to "Boys & Girls Together."
DVD: Attached to "Boys and Girls Together," "Pickles" & "This Is Your
Life."

This episode opens up in the Kramden apartment with Ralph & Alice
telling the Nortons it is their anniversary. After Alice & Trixie go
into the bedroom, Ed tells her a story on how he saw Trixie on the
job and he gave her a rose. He had to because it was her costume. Ha!

Ralph shows Ed what he is planning to give to Alice for the
anniversary. It is a box of 2000 matchsticks glued together the same
gift that Ralph wanted to give to Alice in "'Twas The Night Before
Christmas." Ralph says it is an exclusive thing, much like in the
Christmas episode. Alice comes out and gives Ralph her present. Ralph
opens it up. Ralph: "Gee, just what I always wanted. Money." Now
Ralph get can get that suede jacket he wanted.

Trixie gives Alice her gift which is the same gift that Ralph got for
Alice. Again, the same thing happens in the Christmas episode. Ed (to
Ralph): "Come on. Give her your gift." Ralph lies to Alice, saying
that the gift is coming on delivery. The girls go into the bedroom.

Ralph gets mad at Ed for putting him in a bigger spot than he already
is in. A delivery person comes with a dress for Mrs. O' Leary but no
one is there at her place. So he asks Ralph to hold onto it. Alice
sees Mrs. O' Leary's gift and assumes it belonggs to her. Alice goes
into the bedroom to try on the dress. Ralph gets mad because now he
has to get Mrs. O' Leary a dress. He hatches an idea on how to get
himself out of this mess without telling Alice that he lied and
without telling Mrs. O' Lear what happened to her dress. The plan is
so complicated that Ed said by the time Ralph gets finished, it will
be anniversary time again.

Alice comes out with Mrs. O' Leary's dress on and it doesn't take a
rocket scientist to figure out that the dress is a little big on
Alice. Trixie cuts the dress as Ralph becomes more nervous. Mrs. O'
Leary comes to the house and gets mad at what Alice & Trixie are
doing to her dress. The person who played Mrs. O' Leary is the same
person who played several characters on the show such as Mrs.
Manicotti, I think. Ralph confesses to her and gives her the $25 so
she can buy a new dress. Alice then confesses the truth to Alice.
Alice says she doesn't know why, but she loves him.

Episode #24
TV: Attached to "Manager of The Baseball Team" (1953 version.)
VCR: Attached to "My Fair Landlord."
DVD: Attached to "Songs & Witty Sayings" & "Norton Moves In."

The episode opens up with Ralph going crazy looking for his Income
Tax form. He also said he went over one form svereal times before
finding out that it was an old bowling score. Ha!

He and Alice eventually sit down to try to do the Income Tax form.
Ralph reads the instructions. Alice asks Ralph if he knows what to
do. Ralph says he doesn't know what the instructions are much like
in "The Worry Wart" where Ralph reads the "Penalty For Failure to
Report Income" section.

After Ralph reads some of the instructions, Alice says an idiot can
figure that out. Ralph: "Don't worry. I'll get it." Basically, Ralph
just admitted that he's beyond an idiot. Ha!

Ed Norton comes down. He says he just got Trixie a gift that proves
that he still loves her. You know what it is? A new broom. Ha. Ralph
tells Ed how much of a hard time he is having by doing his Income Tax
form. Ed: "Maybe you'll get phenmonia(sp?) by March 15th."
Originally, I thought that Art made an error, but I later found out
that back then Income Tax Day was on March 15, not April 15. Ralph
wonders why. Ed says that is the best time to catch that sickness.
After that, Ed leaves.

Ralph and Alice go over the form some more. Ralph reads over all the
insurance about injuries and such. Alice says that he hasn't
experienced any of them. Ralph: "I guess I am the unluckiestguy in
the world." Ralph talks about the how costs are going up. Alice
counters by saying that the cost of milk is going down.
Ralph: "That's true, but has the cow said that milk is going down?
No."

Finally, Ralph has figured that he owes $15 but he isplanning on
using that $15 to buy a new bowling ball. A priest comes by and asks
for some money. Ralph gives him the $15. Ralph then goes on to make a
speech saying how great a country America is.

Episode #25
TV: Attached to "Two-Family Car".
VCR: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand."
DVD: Attached to "Principle of The Thing" & "Glow Worm Cleaning."

This episode was the first episode that was remade later on in the show. The
remake for this one was a "two-part" episode called "Goodbye Aunt Ethel." A
longer and much more funny episode.

The episode opens with Alice coming into the kitchen. Ralph is sleeping in the
kitchen on a cot. Ralph is very angry that Alice's Aunt Ethel is staying over.
Aice tries to get the milk that is on the fire escape. Ralph wonders what the
noise is so Alice told him that she is trying to open the window to give milk to
Aunt Ethel. Ralph: "Where is she, on the ledge?" Ralph then is told that the
milk is outside. He offers to get the milk. Ralph tries to get the milk, but the
window is stuck. He says if he lifts up the window any higher, he will lift the
building off the ground. Ha! He tries to get the milk, but accidently knocks the
milk off the escape. Ralph says that Aunt Ethel should go down there and get the milk.

Aunt Ethel comes out and Alice tells her that breakfast is ready. Alice tells
Ralph to go down to Krauss to get some milk. Ralph says no. Ralph asks Alice to get rid of Aunt Ethel. Alice says that Aunt Ethel has stayed longer than
expected and she says that she appreciates the fact that Ralph has been
cooperative. Alice says she will nicely try to get rid of Aunt Ethel. Aunt Ethel
comes in and helps Ralph fold up the cot. Ralph gets his finger stuck. Ralph (to Aunt Ethel): "Drop your side." She does, but Ralph hurts his foot. This scene would be repeated again in "Goodbye Aunt Ethel" & probably "Battle of The Sexes" with Ed Norton and Ralph Kramden folding up the cot.

Ed Norton comes down. Ralph explains his troubles to him. Ed says something
like: "Why don't you write a letter, saying: 'Your husband misses you. Please
come home. Sincerely, Your Husband.'" Ralph: "She ain't married." Ed: "Then why did she leave home?" Ha!

Ed comes up with a plan to throw her out. Ed: "Why don't you yell out the
window: 'Fire!'" Ralph: "Suppose other people hear it. They will think that it's
a real fire." Ed: "Then you yell: 'Fire, Aunt Ethel.'" Ralph: "You are a mental
case." Ralph hatches a plan to get ird of her by faking a back injury. Aunt
Ethel comes in and hear the fact that Ralph has back pain. Ralph says that he
needs to be alone with Alice and lay on a soft bed. Aunt Ethel says that now she is staying due to Ralph's pain. Aunt Ethel says that sleeping on a soft bed to get rid of back pain is a lot of modern fiddle faddle. She says that Ralph should sleep on a hard floor to get rid of back pain. Ralph is now even more upset being that he just blown a big opportunity in his eyes. Question: How can laying on a hard floor get rid of back pain? Wouldn't a soft bed be better?

Episode #26
TV: This episode has not been seen on TV since it's original airdate.
VCR: Attached to "Brother-In-Law."
DVD: On Vol. 12, it is attached to "Hair-Raising Tale", "Double Anniversary
Party" & "Love Letter." On Vol. 24, it is attached to "Goodbye Aunt Ethel",
"Vacation At Fred's Landing ('53 version, not the '54 version as MPI claims on
Vol. 24) & "The Best of The Lost Episodes." (Note: The reason why this episode is on two volumes ie becasue MPI goofed and accidentally put this episode on Vol. 24 where it should have put the remade version: "What's The Name" on it. So MPI made two goofs with Vol. 24.)

The episode opens up with the Kramdens returning home from the movies with the Nortons. Ralph is upset because every time there was a love scene in the movie, Ed had to kiss Trixie while he was between them. Ha! In this episode, the lights in the apartment are on, so Ralph questions why. Alice says the reason is to keep burglars away. After Ralph yells at Alice because he doesn't want to have a snadwich, Alice says it wouldn't hurt for him to act like that Robert Coleman in that picture.

Ralph comes out wearing a long-sleeve shirt and some loud boxers. Alice laughs at what Ralph has on. As Ralph is putting on his robe, Alice is talking about one of the girls in the movie that Ralph probably liked. Alice said she got a lot of things from Max Factor. Isn't it strange in a way that on this episode, there's a Max Factor reference while he was still the makeup director I believe on I Love Lucy? Looks like Max made a factor in the TV industry and the makeup industry huh?

Alice then talks about some other girl in the picture that she can't remember
the girl. She asks Ralph. He doesn't know. He goes to sleep and within 10
seconds he comes back out saying he can't sleep because he can't think of the woman's name. One of the things that they try to do is to sit down and get off the subject in hopes that they will remember the name. This lasts for about five seconds. So Alice gets the newspaper's theatrical section from the garbage can. Ralph reads the names: "''Burning Lips'', Gary Coleman, Lana Turner...'" Alice: "Well?" Ralph: "I can't read the other name. It has ketchup all over it. Do you have to put ketchup on the garbage?" Question: If Ralph wanted to know the name so bad, couldn't he just wipe the ketchup off the name? Wouldn't the name still be readable? Ah, whatever.

Ed Norton comes down. Ralph asks him to remember the names of the people in the movie. When Ed gets down to Lana Truner, he asks Ralph to keep on going while he still is thinking about Lana. Ha! The movie theatre is a block or so away, so Ed looks out the window to see the names. Alice: "Be careful Ed. You might fall out." Ralph: "That is a chance we got to take." Gee, Ralh's a great friend, isn't he. (Note the sarcasm.) Ed can't read all the star's names because Grogan's boxer shorts are in his way. A policeman comes in. The policeman says to cut out the racket or the story will have to be told to the judge. Ralph: "That's it! Alene Judge, that's her name." Ed goes home and the policeman leaves. Ralph and Alice kiss.

[Bill S.]

Originally Posted by Frank Gannucci

This episode is the first version of the "Quiz Show" episode. I
haven't seen it, but I think it is practically the same as the second
version (except that Pert Kelton plays Alice.)

Originally Posted by Frank Gannucci

This episode is the first version of the "Honeymooners XMas Party"
episode. I haven't seen it, but I think it is practically the same as
the second version (except that Pert Kelton plays Alice.)

Having seen both of these, I can tell you that they are pretty much exactly like the later versions. As you mentioned, the only main difference is Pert Kelton. I'm pretty sure the musical guest is different in this version of "Christmas Party" as well, but I'd have to check to be sure.

Originally Posted by Frank Gannucci

This episode might be an earlier version of "Two-Family Car." I
haven't seen this episode, but I have seen "Two-Family Car", so
here's the review.

Originally Posted by Frank Gannucci

This episode is an earlier version of "Halloween Party." I haven't
seen this episode but I have seen "Halloween PArty", so I am assuming
it's one and the same.

I'd assume you're referring to "The Turkey" & "Masquerade"? Those were my predictions about those episodes as well, but you seem to be quite sure that "Masquerade" is in fact an earlier version of "Halloween Party," do you have some information that I don't?

Also, are you going by the numbers in John's book? If so, I think you skipped a few.

[Frank Gannucci]

As far as having information, I don't have any more information than you have. Like you, I just made those assumptions.

I did go by the numbers in John K.'s book. I might have skipped a few either because I made a typo or I don't have those episodes at my disposal.