After a hard days of work, Mayfield is all I think of

[fgoodwin]

After a hard days of work, Mayfield is all I think of

http://www.insidebayarea.com/trivalleyherald/ci_5240052

Mary Hanna
Inside Bay Area
Article Last Updated:02/16/2007 06:54:02 AM PST

KEEPER and I like to vacation in TV Land. When we get home from a brutal day at work, we like to sit back and enjoy a little Cleaver. Beaver Cleaver, that is.

Through the modern marvel that is TiVo, our daily lineup of Leave It to Beaver episodes are waiting for us each evening. After a day of being flipped off by rude drivers, annoyed by cell phone talkers and disregarded by sales clerks, we escape to the 1950s make-believe world of Mayfield, where Ward and June Cleaver are raising their boys, Wally and Theodore (Beaver).

Because its the 50s, June stays at home and cooks. She starts with breakfast, which she prepares after getting fully dressed and groomed. Every breakfast scene has her pouring coffee from a big stainless steel percolator for her husband, who works in an unidentified office and wears a suit and tie, which do not come off until its time for bed. At least, I think they come off. Its possible Ward still has his tie on under his bathrobe, which we get a glimpse of when theres an after-hours emergency requiring parental help. The elder Cleavers always emerge from their room fully robed, perfectly coifed and wide awake. Thats quite a trick. It takes me an hour and a pot of coffee to achieve that state.

Its fun to note the anachronisms. The phone, for instance. There are only two — one in the living room and one in the kitchen. Unless the person receiving the call specifically asks for privacy, the rest of the family sits around and listens to the conversation, asking questions afterward. Try this with your teenager.

Even more amazing is that the boys obey their parents, usually without being told twice. They answer, Yes, sir when Ward scolds them. If you hear this from your kids, its said with heavy sarcasm and a killer scowl.

June is quite the homemaker. Much sport has been made of her tendency to vacuum in high heels, but I've got to hand it to her. She never gets cranky or tired. She is never disheveled. No hint of PMS with this mom.

Shes no doormat, though. Every episode, when Ward starts pontificating, she finds a way to get in a little ego-deflating jab. Wives had feminine wiles in those days. Now, of course, we dont have to — we have our own money.

Wally and the Beaver walk to school and football practice and all over town for that matter. They head out of the house Saturdays with the vague explanation that they're going to mess around with the guys and Mom doesn't worry about them until it starts getting dark.

Each episode is a testament to a simpler way of life. The story lines can be described in one sentence: Beaver gets a haircut or Wally talks Eddie into trying out for the track team.

Each show has the same elements: June worries about the boys. Ward tells her to relax, starting the sentence with Now, June ... Then Beaver's friend Larry gets him in trouble or Wally's friend Eddie gets Wally in trouble. Beaver and Wally consult in their room. They make a pact to hide it from Ward and June. Their parents find out, of course. Then Ward tells them they should never be afraid to come to him when they're in trouble. Then the boys do their homework without being told, they all have dinner together, and Wally and the Beaver go to bed without arguing. The End.

Hey, I know this world never existed. But I love going back there.

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Mary Hanna hones her feminine wiles in San Carlos. Write to her at mary@maryhanna.net or P.O. Box 7093, San Carlos, 94070