Ok what do yall think of this?

[Cactus Jack]

Ok im doing this Mr, HHS thing at my shcool this is my planned stand up routine.

You know what I hate? Public bathrooms. Yeah, everyone hates them,especially when people don’t flush the toilets. Which is mostly in this school, I mean,do you think you want someone to flush it for you? No! So do it. Now I understand if ya can’t. There could be too much toilet paper,paper towels,soda bottles in the toilet. That’s the worst,imagine you’re trying to flush it ,you’re like *make sound of pressing down flush and bubbling*Nope, *do it again*, nope. I mean, don’t pollute the toilets with, no pun intended,crap!. I can’t even imagine what you put in your toilets at home.I also hate it in gas stations, especially when you only stop during a long road trip a few times,it’s flushed sometimes,yes,but is it NOT dirty? NOPE!,and no offense to my fellow Southerners,but we probably have the WORST public bathrooms in the US. I’ve yet to see a clean one,and I’m not holding my breath. Now I;m mostly talking about guys’ restrooms,Ive heard some things about the girls ones here too, so same goes for you. Keep in mind,I;m also talking about stuff like no toilet paper,dirty sinks, anything. Gas stations I understand,here ,too,I mean we really don’t have much time to go to the bathroom here, 5 minute passing periods,don’t wanna miss a whole class. But don’t make the janitors have to use a PLUNGER!

Another thing is crowded hallways. Come on people, we could move a bit faster,we all have to go some place,but ,especially in that hall by the girls’ gym and the vending machines,where that huge painting used to be. It’s like heck walking through there. Another thing is couples in the hallway. First off,I’m glad ya have each other,love each other,that’s awesome,but come on, we could move a tad faster? ,but the other thing there is,guys ,we know you have a girlfriend,no need to walk around and go “Yeah,yeah,yeah this is my girlfriend yeah LOOK!”that’s subtext for “If any of you guys wanna take my girl away from me,go ahead”,not that I;ve seen that,but it could happen. Also, if you’re gonna kiss, do it by a door or something,or outside. Not right in the middle of the hallway. I mean,what are we supposed to do besides ask you to move or walk around you? Get out our Ipods and start playing Bryan Adams and REO Speedwagon or “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys? It doesn’t make sense. Also if a teacher is nearby, stop for a minute,then go back to it,if they catch you,well that’s that.

Ok, off the subject of school for now. What’s up with all these celebrity fueds? I mean one week after another, someone hates someone. Trump and Roise, Rosie and her co-hosts,Isaiah Washington and Dr. McEveryone. I mean, come on guys. We’ve got girls who are about to be has-beens that are drunk,going to rehab,not wearing pants, and doing too many things in one night as friends, and older ones are acting like kids? Come on!. Another thing, it seems like every week or something someone either adopted a baby,started a feud, got drunk,went to rehab,released a movie or album,insulted a group of people,all in one week. I mean come on. Lindsay Lohan.come on when is she NOT in rehab?. Oh yeah and, adopted African babies IN, chihuauas OUT.

You know what? I also write song parodies. Yeah,I do. I’ve parodied stuff from the 50s to now. Im no Weird Al, and I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty good. I even plan on recording them somehow,some way, or get someone else to do it.

I also write scripts,like,well mostly movie scripts,I;ve got one that I;ve been working on for the past couple years, and I’m still not finished,cause I went back to parody writing. I should find a way to do both. My dad and I also created a stop motion movie called “Robot Dance”, which we did with these robot toys I had for years and made them move and stuff, set to Weezer’s “Hash Pipe”it’s awesome, I think. Check it out.

Anyone see Borat yet? That’s probably the funniest movie ever/ or of the decade, definitely funniest of last year. I saw it twice, and for those who don’t believe me I did,and yes I was old enough,both times!
IS NICE!



Oh yeah, and for some reason, there are some people who will go unnamed,but they love to sing “I Want It That Way”by the Backstreet Boys to me. Let me just say this, it was funny the first gazillion times,I don’t like that song at all, so I don’t want it that way. Alright. You want to hear me start singing something I hate and you would too? Didn’t think so.

This is awesome, Mr. HHS,secret agents. Maybe they could’ve called it Big Mister Sunshine this year,hmmm. But I don’t think anyone would be doing a “Super Freak”dance. Not that guy-ish


Ok, maybe a little bit dances to 30 seconds of Super FreakIS NIIIIIIIICE


Ok that’s it for me,night!


What do ya think?

[Cactus Jack]

Come on!

[Hollow]

i like it.

[Yooch]

Sounds good, Jack. The content is funny and the students can relate. I can't get a sense of timing just from reading it, but that should always be a major consideration in delivering it, or so I've heard regarding comedy. It is good if you rehearse it. You can record it and evaluate it. I wish you lots of luck with it. Let me know how it turns out.

[Courtnee]

Good job, Jack.

[EmoJoe]

pretty good!

[Cactus Jack]

Didnt know people even REPLIED to this. WEll I didnt get it, BUT I got to introduce the catwalk in the show and did the crowded hallways bit. I didnt get in as a contestant,causet hey look at grades and teacher recommendations, and my gardes are really good, but not asg ood as some of the other people that were in it.

It was this past Thursday night.

So maybe Ill be the next Dane Cook or Jerry Seinfeld on of these days. Or Yakov Smirnoff

[GoldenGirlsFan92]

It's very good. It reminds me of Ellen Degenere's "Public Bathrooms" routine.

[Cactus Jack]

Originally Posted by GoldenGirlsFan92

It's very good. It reminds me of Ellen Degenere's "Public Bathrooms" routine.

So youre saying Im stealing from her?

Anyways thanks!

[GoldenGirlsFan92]

Originally Posted by Cactus Jack

So youre saying Im stealing from her?

Anyways thanks!

No, I am not saying that. I am just saying it reminds me of her routine.

[catlover79]

You may want to throw this in. Like you, I hate public restrooms and only use them when absolutely necessary. I HATE it while in the ladies' room, while you are going, some moron in another stall is yammering away on a CELL PHONE!! Come on!! Can't we get away from that even on the TOILET???

[Cactus Jack]

Originally Posted by catlover79

You may want to throw this in. Like you, I hate public restrooms and only use them when absolutely necessary. I HATE it while in the ladies' room, while you are going, some moron in another stall is yammering away on a CELL PHONE!! Come on!! Can't we get away from that even on the TOILET???

Maybe LOL. But Im a guy so I dont notice that.

Unless the person she's talking to has a toilet fetish I can understand

"Oh yeah, pee, HARDER, HARDER"