Funniest Quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

BensonFan · 12-08-2006, 06:23 PM

I was just watching "It Ain't Sheik" and I loved this exchange:

Benson: You know Kraus, there are moments when you are simply magnificent.
Kraus: Thank you, Benson.
Benson: Moment's over.

What are some of your favorite quotes? Let's get a whole fun thread going here!

svt65 · 12-08-2006, 09:07 PM

It'd be cool to get a "best quotes" of each episode going. Of course, that would mean actually *seeing* the show... :-/

Hope it comes back soon. Anyway, I'll see what I can find!

robyrob · 12-09-2006, 06:15 PM

The one line that gets me the most is Benson saying "This is the WORST Luau I have ever been to." when the plumber dies

svt65 · 12-14-2006, 01:34 AM

From: Episode #43 – Handwriting on the Wall --

Clayton: You know what the problem is, Benson? It’s the system. The government has gotten so complex, it’s almost impossible to do anything. So why do I keep trying? Why am I here?

Benson: Come off it, Clayton. You’re good at what you do. The governor needs you, the state needs you. That’s why you’re here.

Clayton: You’re right, of course. Thank you. [Pause] You know, I’d like to return the compliment, but try as I may, I find it impossible to be insincere.

****

From: Episode #49 – Sit-In --

Benson: I’ll get to it as soon as I can hear myself think.

Clayton: Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps there’s nothing to hear?

****

From: Episode #53 – Rainbow’s End --

Clayton: Don’t you people ever get tired of talking behind my back?

Benson: I don’t.

****

From: Episode #55 – Kraus Falls in Love --

Benson, wanting to get Kraus alone with her beau: Governor, why don’t you finish telling me that story about how three-fingered Jack got his name?

Gene: You mean I never told you that story?

Benson: Not yet.

Gene: It’s the most amazing thing. You know, I don’t usually tell this story, it takes forever.

Benson, giving Kraus a look: You owe me one.

BensonFan · 12-14-2006, 08:39 AM

OH yeah--I love this one, from "Let's Get Physical":

Kraus: What's the matter with you? Are you too good to answer the phone?
Clayton: (very matter-of-factly): Yes.

Scoobiedoo30 · 12-15-2006, 05:00 PM

my Favorite is Gene you mean I Nervery did tell you that Story

svt65 · 12-20-2006, 01:38 AM

A couple more…

From: Episode #96 -- Who’s Arnold? --

Benson: If you still want me to pretend to be Arnold, I'll do it, but just until she leaves.

Kraus: You would do that for me?

Benson: Of course, I'm your friend.

Kraus: You mean it?

Benson: Temporarily.

****

From: Episode #108 -- The Endicott dynasty --

Benson: Why don’t you just ask for your old job back…

Clayton: I can’t do that. I can’t come crawling back.

Pete: Why not? You’ve crawled before.

Scoobiedoo30 · 01-13-2007, 03:31 PM

Bensaon Why dont you asked for your old Job back

BensonFan · 01-21-2007, 11:12 PM

The episode "In The Red", when Pete talks about having woman problems and Clayton says, "Oh, what's the matter? Did someone puncture your date?"

svt65 · 02-19-2007, 03:28 AM

From: Episode #131 -- Mid-Life Crisis --

(While on a dude ranch, Gene goes missing and a posse is formed)

Benson: Alright, that settles it. I'll need a horse.

Kraus: What about me?

Benson: Good. Saddle her up.

12-08-2006, 06:23 PM	#1
BensonFan Board Psychologist Senior Member Join Date: Mar 16, 2004 Location: Chicago, IL USA Posts: 2,733	Funniest Quotes I was just watching "It Ain't Sheik" and I loved this exchange: Benson: You know Kraus, there are moments when you are simply magnificent. Kraus: Thank you, Benson. Benson: Moment's over. What are some of your favorite quotes? Let's get a whole fun thread going here!
	__________________ HEY, SONY: Thank you for Benson, Season 2! Now can we get started on Season 3 plans?

12-09-2006, 06:15 PM	#3
robyrob certified wackball#3 Moderator Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 03, 2003 Location: hiding under the third booth at Arnold's Posts: 58,185	The one line that gets me the most is Benson saying "This is the WORST Luau I have ever been to." when the plumber dies
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12-15-2006, 05:00 PM	#6
Scoobiedoo30 Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Jun 27, 2002 Location: KENNER, LOUISIANA Posts: 27,654	my Favorite is Gene you mean I Nervery did tell you that Story
	__________________ Who Dat

12-08-2006, 09:07 PM	#2
svt65 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Oct 07, 2006 Location: SoCal, USA Posts: 147	It'd be cool to get a "best quotes" of each episode going. Of course, that would mean actually seeing the show... :-/ Hope it comes back soon. Anyway, I'll see what I can find!

12-14-2006, 01:34 AM	#4
svt65 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Oct 07, 2006 Location: SoCal, USA Posts: 147	From: Episode #43 – Handwriting on the Wall -- Clayton: You know what the problem is, Benson? It’s the system. The government has gotten so complex, it’s almost impossible to do anything. So why do I keep trying? Why am I here? Benson: Come off it, Clayton. You’re good at what you do. The governor needs you, the state needs you. That’s why you’re here. Clayton: You’re right, of course. Thank you. [Pause] You know, I’d like to return the compliment, but try as I may, I find it impossible to be insincere. ** From: Episode #49 – Sit-In -- Benson: I’ll get to it as soon as I can hear myself think. Clayton: Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps there’s nothing to hear? From: Episode #53 – Rainbow’s End -- Clayton: Don’t you people ever get tired of talking behind my back? Benson: I don’t. ** From: Episode #55 – Kraus Falls in Love -- Benson, wanting to get Kraus alone with her beau: Governor, why don’t you finish telling me that story about how three-fingered Jack got his name? Gene: You mean I never told you that story? Benson: Not yet. Gene: It’s the most amazing thing. You know, I don’t usually tell this story, it takes forever. Benson, giving Kraus a look: You owe me one.

12-14-2006, 08:39 AM	#5
BensonFan Board Psychologist Senior Member Join Date: Mar 16, 2004 Location: Chicago, IL USA Posts: 2,733	OH yeah--I love this one, from "Let's Get Physical": Kraus: What's the matter with you? Are you too good to answer the phone? Clayton: (very matter-of-factly): Yes.

12-20-2006, 01:38 AM	#7
svt65 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Oct 07, 2006 Location: SoCal, USA Posts: 147	A couple more… From: Episode #96 -- Who’s Arnold? -- Benson: If you still want me to pretend to be Arnold, I'll do it, but just until she leaves. Kraus: You would do that for me? Benson: Of course, I'm your friend. Kraus: You mean it? Benson: Temporarily. **** From: Episode #108 -- The Endicott dynasty -- Benson: Why don’t you just ask for your old job back… Clayton: I can’t do that. I can’t come crawling back. Pete: Why not? You’ve crawled before.

01-13-2007, 03:31 PM	#8
Scoobiedoo30 Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Jun 27, 2002 Location: KENNER, LOUISIANA Posts: 27,654	Bensaon Why dont you asked for your old Job back

01-21-2007, 11:12 PM	#9
BensonFan Board Psychologist Senior Member Join Date: Mar 16, 2004 Location: Chicago, IL USA Posts: 2,733	The episode "In The Red", when Pete talks about having woman problems and Clayton says, "Oh, what's the matter? Did someone puncture your date?"

02-19-2007, 03:28 AM	#10
svt65 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Oct 07, 2006 Location: SoCal, USA Posts: 147	From: Episode #131 -- Mid-Life Crisis -- (While on a dude ranch, Gene goes missing and a posse is formed) Benson: Alright, that settles it. I'll need a horse. Kraus: What about me? Benson: Good. Saddle her up.