DVD Critics Corner - RedNeck Zombie Edition (11/26/06)

[TJL]

What would you get if you combined "The Andy Griffith Show" and "The Blob," with a bit of "Night Of The Living Dead" and "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" thrown in for good measure?

You'd get sent to prison for about three trillion years.

But if you're a Hollywood director, mixing the above components will result in the movie "Slither," a sci-fi horrorfest that's chock full of blood, gore, and as an extra bonus, rednecks; because as we all know, rednecks turn your average film into a slightly better than average film.

I don't know why that is. I'm guessing it has something to do with their love of flannel and guns. One keeps you warm and snuggly on those cold nights in the truck, and the other is machine washable.

When "Slither" opens, the sleepy town of Wheelsy is getting ready for their annual "Deer Cheer" festival.

Most other hunting festivals in the area have become way too commercial; with the corporate sponsorships, swag tents and B list celebs, but when it comes to "Deer Cheer," Wheelsy continues to keep it real – shoot deer, drink beer, repeat.

Everyone is so preoccupied with the festival; they didn't see a small meteorite crash on the outskirts of town.

Wealthy drunken redneck Grant (Michael Rooker) stumbles across the crash site and discovers a fat space slug crawling along the ground. Since Grant is a drunken redneck, he pokes the thing with a stick, which is exactly what you should do when confronted with an unknown space creature in the woods.

The slug stings poor stupid Grant, and he becomes a vessel for an evil alien bent on destroying mankind.

Grant's young nubile High School teacher wife Starla (the young nubile Elizabeth Banks) suspects that her husband is a little different after his late night trek through the woods, but being young and nubile greatly inhibits her ability to think and react like a person who should be running for her freaking life.

Soon Grant morphs into a giant cattle-killing blob with tentacles, which attracts the attention of local police Chief Bill (Nathan Fillon) who carries a torch for childhood friend Starla.

Before Bill can figure out how long he should wait before he moves in on Starla since her husband is now a giant space blob with tentacles, things get even more f'd up when Grant's space slug army bursts from the belly of one of Grant's first victims and attacks Wheelsy, turning just about everyone into bloodthirsty zombies.

Bill, Starla, the town's mayor Jack (Gregg Henry) and Starla's student Kylie (Tania Saulnier) battle Grant and his slimy minions to a rather gooey and gruesome finish, and judging by all the dead townspeople corpses littering the countryside, the turnout for the Deer Cheer Parade will be a bit of a disappointment this year.

While I give props for all the gore and pointless redneck violence, I cannot wholeheartedly recommend the movie "Slither."

If you have your heart set on watching a a bunch of good ol' boys being terrorized by a large creepy thing, I suggest catching a rerun of "Dukes Of Hazzard" on TV.

That Boss Hogg was one freaky dude.

[Brian Damage]

you should really be a movie critic

[Cactus Jack]

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

you should really be a movie critic

LOL YES!



LOL at the review