Jokes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Warm & Fuzzy · 11-28-2001, 08:57 PM

What is the funniest/korniest joke you've ever heard?

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I don't care whose fault it is! I'm the one who has to tell a man the size of a skyscraper that his living room looks like Seaworld!!!~Jo
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Jenny aka Jinny!

Penny Lane · 11-28-2001, 09:02 PM

What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Dam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Cupcake

XoVanillaRain90oX · 11-28-2001, 09:29 PM

I dont know but imma make one up

The duck was in a store, shopping. When he got to the cash register and paid for all his items, he asked "Wheres my bill?" and the cashier goes, "Its on your face!'

um okay. LOL

Kay Scarpetta · 11-28-2001, 09:52 PM

There was a girl flying to CA. When she got to the airport, she went through the metal detectors. They went off. So the airport people checked her luggage first, and they found a pair of knitting needles. She got in trouble, because they thought she was going to knit an "afghan". Does anyone even get that? LOL.

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°·.*¤*-Blair Warner-*¤*.·°

I lerb Lisa Whelchel! LERB is me and Morganne's word lol.

Blair: Well, you don't see me getting all upset when people tell me how gorgeous I am!

Watch out for the Scary Pie man Dana he is gonna come get you!

Check out my site about the bestest most awesomeness person in the world:
The Beautiful, Wonderful, Talented, Exquisite... Lisa Whelchel

Warm & Fuzzy · 11-28-2001, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever:
Does anyone even get that? LOL.

Not me! lol

here's one:
Why did Osama Bin Laden cross the road?

He can't! Afhaganistan has no roads! hehe

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I don't care whose fault it is! I'm the one who has to tell a man the size of a skyscraper that his living room looks like Seaworld!!!~Jo
----------
Jenny aka Jinny!

ISmellFine · 11-28-2001, 10:02 PM

This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Steeeeeeeve?!"

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-Queen Kaley Jinny Exstead: Prez of the ILOTI Club

On April 24, 2008, Dana and I are going to handcuff ourselves to Nancy McKeon and Jay Harrington.

Five Queens, one code: Hell Raising

The one and only [dum dum dum]: Nancy McKeon Supersite!

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 11-28-2001, 10:19 PM

Why are there no Wal-Marts in Afghanistan??

There's a target on every corner!!!!!!!!!

Whats the difference between an American turkey and an Afghanistan turkey???

An American turkey says, "Gobble gobble," but an Afghanistan turkey says,"Kabul kabul!"

oh....btw I get the afghan joke!

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*Amy*~
CookieCupcake24@aol.com
AIM- MacNCheeze565
SFPDInspectorCD
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
"Oh please, folks, don't be shy! Apparently anyone is welcome to crap all over me tonight,so step right on up!"~ Jinny Exstead.
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
"You're born, you move on, you die. That's life!"~ Jo
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Blair~ Feast your eyes on this....
Jo~ Ah! Booze!
Blair~ Booze? You heathen! This is Pouilly-Fuissé
Jo~ Gezuntiet
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
"Uh...I haven't had an idea since '79..."~Jo
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Rose~ It's a letter from St. Olaf. It's from the Department of Water and Coffee.
Blanche~ Coffee?
Rose~ No thanks. It makes me jumpy.
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and b*t*h-slap that mother @#?!&! upside the head.
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Remember....It's OK to be slow. We all have our moments...

Easy Mac and Happy Meal!!!

Bootsy Whoosh · 11-28-2001, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nancy McKeon Rox:
This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Steeeeeeeve?!"

That's a good one. I think it was the multiple "e's" that did it for me. I can just see this grasshopper going "Steeeeeeeeeve", lol!

Quote:

Originally posted by NEWHART FAN:
What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Dam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like this one too! Short and sweet! I can never remember jokes, but maybe I can remember this one!

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever:
There was a girl flying to CA. When she got to the airport, she went through the metal detectors. They went off. So the airport people checked her luggage first, and they found a pair of knitting needles. She got in trouble, because they thought she was going to knit an "afghan". Does anyone even get that? LOL.

I get it. An afghan is a knitted blanket. An Afghan is a native of Afghanistan. Does that clear it up for you?

Kay Scarpetta · 11-28-2001, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bootsy Whoosh:
I get it. An afghan is a knitted blanket. An Afghan is a native of Afghanistan. Does that clear it up for you?

Ha ha yea that's what I thought.. just wanted to be sure. Thanks

Bootsy Whoosh · 11-28-2001, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever:
Ha ha yea that's what I thought.. just wanted to be sure. Thanks

No prob. It was a funny joke, BTW.

This is a good topic. I am not going to get any sleep tonight because I have 2 papers to write, so I'm gonna need some entertainment! Keep 'em coming people!

Kitt · 11-29-2001, 12:57 AM

True story-
My partners and I sent a package for a Texan with a drawl to Tyler Texas. The package made it to Tyler but he complained that he hadn't recieved it. Come to find out, he had said, in his drawl, "Send it to Taylor Texas."

Lynn · 11-29-2001, 02:02 AM

OK, you asked for it. This is a pretty dumb joke:

Three ropes walk into a bar. They each sit down on a stool. The first rope says, "Hey bartender can I get a beer?" The bartender looks at him and asks, "Aren't you a rope?" and the first rope says, "Yeah, I am." The bartender says "We don't serve ropes in this bar." The first rope sulks out of the bar.

The second rope decides to try. He says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer." And the bartender says, "Hey, aren't you a rope?" and the rope says, "Yeah you got me. I'm a rope." And the second rope leaves the bar.

The third rope quickly ties himself in a knot and unravels the ends. When the bartender approaches him he says, "I'll take a nice cold beer." The bartender looks at him and says, "Aren't you a rope, too?" and the third rope replies, "I'm a frayed knot!"

Whew, that was long. Here's a shorter one:

Two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks.

[This message has been edited by Lynn (edited 11-29-2001).]

Bootsy Whoosh · 11-29-2001, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lynn:
Two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks.

Warm & Fuzzy · 11-29-2001, 05:29 PM

Why do skeletons play the piano?

Because they have no organs!hehe

------------------
I don't care whose fault it is! I'm the one who has to tell a man the size of a skyscraper that his living room looks like Seaworld!!!~Jo
----------
Jenny aka Jinny!

KerriBerri687 · 11-29-2001, 06:05 PM

why did the honey-dew and the watermelon have a big fancy wedding?

cause they cantalope! (get it..cant...alope...yea...)

11-28-2001, 08:57 PM	#1
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Jokes What is the funniest/korniest joke you've ever heard? ------------------ I don't care whose fault it is! I'm the one who has to tell a man the size of a skyscraper that his living room looks like Seaworld!!!~Jo ---------- Jenny aka Jinny!

11-28-2001, 09:02 PM	#2
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,269	What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? Dam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------------ Cupcake

11-28-2001, 09:29 PM	#3
XoVanillaRain90oX youre RAD <3<3 Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 14, 2001 Location: SwEdEn BaBii! Posts: 3,416	I dont know but imma make one up The duck was in a store, shopping. When he got to the cash register and paid for all his items, he asked "Wheres my bill?" and the cashier goes, "Its on your face!' um okay. LOL

11-28-2001, 09:52 PM	#4
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	There was a girl flying to CA. When she got to the airport, she went through the metal detectors. They went off. So the airport people checked her luggage first, and they found a pair of knitting needles. She got in trouble, because they thought she was going to knit an "afghan". Does anyone even get that? LOL. ------------------ °·.¤-Blair Warner-¤.·° I lerb Lisa Whelchel! LERB is me and Morganne's word lol. Blair: Well, you don't see me getting all upset when people tell me how gorgeous I am! Watch out for the Scary Pie man Dana he is gonna come get you! Check out my site about the bestest most awesomeness person in the world: The Beautiful, Wonderful, Talented, Exquisite... Lisa Whelchel

11-28-2001, 10:02 PM	#6
ISmellFine Zim Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 13, 2001 Posts: 4,886	This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Steeeeeeeve?!" ------------------ -Queen Kaley Jinny Exstead: Prez of the ILOTI Club On April 24, 2008, Dana and I are going to handcuff ourselves to Nancy McKeon and Jay Harrington. Five Queens, one code: Hell Raising The one and only [dum dum dum]: Nancy McKeon Supersite!

11-28-2001, 10:19 PM	#7
AllIWantIsYourClutch peaceout. Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 02, 2001 Location: Illinois. Posts: 53,424	Why are there no Wal-Marts in Afghanistan?? There's a target on every corner!!!!!!!!! Whats the difference between an American turkey and an Afghanistan turkey??? An American turkey says, "Gobble gobble," but an Afghanistan turkey says,"Kabul kabul!" oh....btw I get the afghan joke! ------------------ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Amy~ CookieCupcake24@aol.com AIM- MacNCheeze565 SFPDInspectorCD /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ "Oh please, folks, don't be shy! Apparently anyone is welcome to crap all over me tonight,so step right on up!"~ Jinny Exstead. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ "You're born, you move on, you die. That's life!"~ Jo /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Blair~ Feast your eyes on this.... Jo~ Ah! Booze! Blair~ Booze? You heathen! This is Pouilly-Fuissé Jo~ Gezuntiet /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ "Uh...I haven't had an idea since '79..."~Jo /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Rose~ It's a letter from St. Olaf. It's from the Department of Water and Coffee. Blanche~ Coffee? Rose~ No thanks. It makes me jumpy. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bth-slap that mother @#?!&! upside the head. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Remember....It's OK to be slow. We all have our moments... Easy Mac and Happy Meal!!!

11-29-2001, 12:57 AM	#11
Kitt James Dean Forum Veteran Join Date: Aug 16, 2001 Location: California Dreamin' Posts: 6,115	True story- My partners and I sent a package for a Texan with a drawl to Tyler Texas. The package made it to Tyler but he complained that he hadn't recieved it. Come to find out, he had said, in his drawl, "Send it to Taylor Texas."

11-29-2001, 02:02 AM	#12
Lynn Member Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 07, 2001 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 744	OK, you asked for it. This is a pretty dumb joke: Three ropes walk into a bar. They each sit down on a stool. The first rope says, "Hey bartender can I get a beer?" The bartender looks at him and asks, "Aren't you a rope?" and the first rope says, "Yeah, I am." The bartender says "We don't serve ropes in this bar." The first rope sulks out of the bar. The second rope decides to try. He says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer." And the bartender says, "Hey, aren't you a rope?" and the rope says, "Yeah you got me. I'm a rope." And the second rope leaves the bar. The third rope quickly ties himself in a knot and unravels the ends. When the bartender approaches him he says, "I'll take a nice cold beer." The bartender looks at him and says, "Aren't you a rope, too?" and the third rope replies, "I'm a frayed knot!" Whew, that was long. Here's a shorter one: Two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks. [This message has been edited by Lynn (edited 11-29-2001).]

11-29-2001, 05:29 PM	#14
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Why do skeletons play the piano? Because they have no organs!hehe ------------------ I don't care whose fault it is! I'm the one who has to tell a man the size of a skyscraper that his living room looks like Seaworld!!!~Jo ---------- Jenny aka Jinny!

11-29-2001, 06:05 PM	#15
KerriBerri687 defying gravity Senior Member Join Date: Jan 13, 2001 Location: you'll find me in Emerald City...I'm the green one with the flying monkeys Posts: 2,869	why did the honey-dew and the watermelon have a big fancy wedding? cause they cantalope! (get it..cant...alope...yea...)