Management Company (new show!)

[PlayOn]

This idea came while I was watching Good Times. Flordia was a bus driver and I got to thinking, what if the owner of the building died. Would she take the job. I put my idea with a 3's Company's twist and this is the outcome. Hope you like it.

(Living room. Jack, Janet, Crissy, and Larry walk in, looking sad. They are wearing eithier black or dark clothes)

Crissy: Well, it was a good service.
Jack: Yea. Up until the end. (He looks at Larry)
Larry: I'm sorry. How many times do i have to say that. How was I supposed to know I didn't close the hurse doors good.
Janet: I'll never forget that casket fling out the back of the hurse as we went up that hill.
Crissy: Mainly because we were the first car behind it.
Janet: Poor Mr. Furley.
Jack: He's in a better place now. (Janet buries her face in Jack's shoulder)
Larry: Look on the bright side. At least you won't have to act gay anymore.
Jack: Don't say that! The last time somebody said that, Furley came.
Janet: Yea. (She takes her face out of Jack's shoulder) It was good for the Ropers to come to the funeral. (There's a knock on the door)
Chrissy: Just in time. I have a surprise for you. (She opens the door. It's the Ropers, holding suit cases)
Mrs. Roper: Hello, everybody.
Everybody: Mrs. Roper. (Mrs. Roper sits her bags down and they hug her)
Mr. Roper: What about me?
Jack: Hi, Mr. Roper. (He winks at him. Mr. Furley looks away)
Mr. Roper: Well, I see Tinkerbell is still here.
Mrs. Roper: Stanley, the kids were nice enough to let us stay the night. Can't you act civilized?
Jack: Excuse me. What did you say, Mrs. Roper.
Mrs. Roper: Please act civilized.
Jack: The other part.
Mrs. Roper: The kids were nice enough to let us stay the night.
Crissy: Surprise!
Jack: Crissy: Can I see in the kitchen please?
Crissy: Sure. (They walk to the kitchen)

Jack: Why did you envite them without talking to us.
Crissy: I didn't think it mattered. They have there high school reunion tomorrow in town. So instead of having them drive all the way back tonight and come back tomorrow, I said they could stay.
Jack: Where will they sleep:
Chrissy: In your bed.
Jack: What about me? Where will I sleep?
Chrissy: How about next to Mr. Roper? (snort snort. Jack copies her laugh)
Jack: It's not funny Crissy. I have to go to Furley's will reading tomorrow so I need to get up early and well rested. (Janet walks in)
Janet: Mr. Roper started talking about his days in the war. So I lied and told them I'd make tea.
Jack: You didn't have to lie. Why don't you mke some.
Janet: We're out. Hint the word: lie. How much longer are you going to be? (Crissy looks sat Jack. He sighs)
Jack: Alright. I guess they can stay.
Crissy: YAY!!! Thanks Jack. It's only for one night.
Jack: Tell that to my mind. Because I think I'm going to lose it. (They walk back in the living room. Larry looks board out of his mind)
Mr. Roper: Anyways, the bullet whole was the size of a peach. Never seen anything like it- (Larry sees Jack, Janet and Crissy)
Larry: Well, look. Finally somebody to tell your story to. I have to go.... wash my dog.
Janet: You don't have a dog.
Larry: Did I say my dog? I ment my neighbor's dog. (He leaves)
Mrs. Roper: What were you kid's talking about in there? Hope its alright if we can still stay.
Chrissy: Sure it is. We were just talking about... sleeping arrangements. You can sleep in Jack's room.
Mrs. Roper: Oh, we couldn't do that.
Mr. Roper: Sure we could Helen.
Mrs. Roper: No. They were nice enough to let us stay. We can't kick one of there bedroom.
Mr. Roper: Sure we could.
Chrissy: Jack insist. Don't you Jack. (Jack's silent. Crissy elbows him)
Jack (through clenched teeth): I don't mind at all.

(Living room. Night. Jack tosses, trying to get relaxed. Finally, he falls off the couch. He looks at his watch)

Jack: 3:00. I'll never get to sleep. Time for a post-mid-nite snack. (He walks in the kitchen, goes to the refridgeater and gets out milk. Then he gets out cereal and a bowl. Crissy and Janet walk in)

Crissy: Making ceral, Jack?
Jack: No, Chrissy. This how I perform brain surgrey. I only do it after you go bed. I've been caught!
Crissy: Sor-ry. Somebody got up on the wrong wise of the couch. (She realizes what she said. Snort snort)
Janet: What's so funny.
Chrissy: A couch only has one side to get up on. (snort snort. Jack and Janet stare at her. She keeps laughing)
Janet: Jack, can you really not sleep?
Jack: I can't.
Janet: Well. I guess, you come in there with us. (Jack stands up, happy) ONLY if you sleep.
Jack: I was going to do that (pause) after. (Janet looks insulted. She walks out. Crissy's still laughing over the 'couch' thing) Janet, I'm sorry. I was only kidding. Come on! (He looks at Chrissy, then the kitchen door) At least take the laughing hyena with you.

(The lving room. Next day. Janet, Crissy, and Mrs. Roper are on the couch. Mr. Roper is on the sitting on the arm)

Mr. Roper: What would Furley want to leave Jack?
Janet: Your guess is as good as ours.
Chrissy: Maybe he has Furley's clothes. (snort snort)
Mr. Roper: It'd be an inprovement. (He laughs)
Mrs. Roper: Stanley!!
Mr. Roper: I was only joking Helen. (Jack walks in, in shock)
Janet: What'd you get?
Mrs. Roper: Money?
Mr. Roper: A car?
Chrissy: His clothes?
Jack: He left me the apartment! I'm the new manager.
Everybody: WHAT?!
Janet: You don't know anything about manageing stuff.
Jack: He left a note. (He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket) Jack, I know you don't know about manageing anything. But there's really nothing to it. Collect the rent, fix the tentants problems, little stuff like that. I choose you because you and Janet and Crissy are the most honest people I know. Take care. Mr. R. Furley. (There's silence)
Crissy: Wow!
Janet: Of all the tentants we're the ones he trust. Are you going to take it?
Jack: A dead man asked me to. I have to.
Mr. Roper: Well, running a building isn't just those things he mentioned. I'll show you everything.
Jack: Reall?
Mr. Roper: Sure. As long you cut me in on the rent money. (Everybody starts to argue)

R.I.P Don Knotts: 1924-2006

Jack Tripper: John Ritter
Janet Wood: Joyce DeWitt
Chrissy Snow: Suzanne Somers
Larry: Richard Klien
Guest stars:
Mrs. Roper: Audrey Lindley
Mr. Roper: Norman Fell

What'd you think? Your input keeps this show going.

[FOLrocks1]

Well it'll be interesting to see where you take it. I liked it so far. I'm glad there's a new show on here. Keep up the good work.

[PlayOn]

(Living room. Day. Jack is on the phone)

Jack: I'm sorry about that. (pause)Well, I'll be up there ASAP to fix it. (pause) ok, see you soon. (He hangs up. Larry walks in) DAMN!

Larry: Good to see you to.

Jack: Oh hey, Lare. Sorry. Do you know Ms. Panateri from upstairs? Her toilet is stopped up again, which is causing her lack of water. This is the 2nd time this week! I think she has the hots for me.

Larry: How do you know?

Jack: It says it in her body language. The ways she looks at me when I unplug her drain.

Larry: You do Mr. Panateri is in her 80's, right?

Jack: Just to be safe, I need somebody unattractive to do it for it for me. (He thinks then looks at Larry) How about you? (Larry glares at him) Ok. That came out wrong.

Larry: Sorry, but I have plans with Melinda tonight.

Jack: Please, Lare. It won't take long. 2 minutes-tops.

Larry: Alright. Fine.

Jack: Thanks, buddy. (Larry walks out. Janet and Chrissy walk in)

Janet: Chrissy, I don't care what you say, white chocolate dose not come from white cows, ok? Just like regular chocolate dosen't come from brown cows.

Chrissy: That's what farmers want you to think.

Janet: Chrissy, what is 100 divided by 100? (She thinks. Janet turns to Jack) Ok, now that we have a few minutes, how was your day?

Jack: Horrible. Toilets backing up, water pipes leaking, door bells on the fritz.

Janet: Nobody said managing an apartment was going to be easy.

Jack: I'm talking about OUR apartment. I need something to eat. Do you want anything?

Janet: That chili from last night was good. (Jack goes in the kitchen. Janet notcies Chrissy is still trying to figure the problem out) Chrissy, pencils down.

Chrissy: I could have used a pencil?!

(Ms. Panteri's apartment. Ms. Panateri opens the door)

Ms. Panteri: Who are who?

Larry: I'm Larry. Mr. Tripper couldn't make it up here so he sent me.

Ms. Panateri: Oh, I know you. You're the pervert chasing girls all the time. Well, forget it. I watch 'To Catch a Predator.' I'm not going to be you're sex object. (Larry makes a sick look)

Larry: Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. Now, what seems to be the problem?

Ms. Panateri: It's in the bathroom. The toilet is backed up and the pipes are thin as paper. I can hear people take showers and everything.

Larry: The sink pipes are like that all over. I'm glad I have the room over college girls. Oh, the things I hear. (He starts to daydream, smiling. Then comes back to earth.) Now about that toilet. (They go to the bathroom)

(Kitchen. The gang is eating chili)

Chrissy: This chili is as good today as it was yesterday.

Jack: If not better. (He takes a bite and notices Janet not eating) You ok.

Janet: I don't know. I took one bite and I feel like I'm going to be sick. Are you sure you heated it up right?

Jack: Janet, look who you're talking to. (Janet gets up and runs to the bathroom. She makes gagging sounds over the toilet and sits on the floor)

Larry (voice): Ok, Ms. Panateri, where do you want it first?

Ms. Panateri (voice): You're the professional. You decide. (Janet's eyes get big)

Larry (Voice): How about here?

Ms. Panateri: Are you sure you can fix that big thing in this tiny whole? (Janet's eyes get really big. We cut to Ms. Panteri's bathroom. Larry is using a plunger in the toilet. We cut to Janet in the bathroom)

Larry: It's so hard! (Janet vomits again)

(Living room. A couple of minutes later. Janet is on the couch in a daze. Jack and Chrissy walk in)

Jack: How's your stomache, Janet?

Janet: Worse. Do you know what Larry is doing upstairs?

Jack: Sure I do. Ms. Panateri wanted me to do it, but I asked Larry to. (Janets eyes grow big) I feel for her. With no husband, and with her being as old as she is, she can't do it herself. (Janet goes back in her daze) Janet, do you need to go to a hospital? You look worse.

Janet: I need to go lie down.

Jack: That's a good idea. (Janet goes to her and Chrissy's room, closing the door) Dang, I forgot I need to take care of another tentant. Make sure Janet's alright. I'll be back as soon as I can. (He leaves)

Chrissy: OK. (Chrissy turns on the TV, lays down and falls asleep. The phoe rings. Janet comes out of the room and answears it)

Janet: Hello?

Larry: Janet, is Jack there?

Janet: You sicko!!! Taking advantage of that poor old woman!

Larry: What?

Janet: Don't act innocent.

Larry: Janet, I don't have time for games. Once you see Jack, tell him I can't do this by myself. I need his help. (Janet's eyes pop wide open)

Janet: WHAT???!!! (She screams so loud, Larry hangs up. Janet does to) There's a knock on the door. Janet opens it. It a beatiful woman)

Melinda: I'm looking for Larry Dallas. Do you know who he is?

Janet: I thought I did.

Melinda: He's picking me up. We've got a date. (Janet smiles)

Janet: He's right upstairs.

Melinda: Thank you. (She walks away)

Janet: Larry is busted! Once Melinda sees what he's doing, she'll drop him like a hot potato. (Jack walks in)

Jack: Janet, what are you doing up?

Janet: Get out of my way! I'll take care of you later. (She pushes Jack aside and stands outide. Melinda and Larry walk out Ms. Panateri's apartment smiling) WHAT?! Melinda, did you see what he was doing?

Melinda: Sure I did. What's the big deal? I love a strong man. (Janet looks in disbelief at her) Has the whole wold gone crazy? Have I gone crazy?

Larry: What's the big deal? I was just unclogging. Ms. Panateri's toilet.

Janet: Unclogging!!!!- (it takes her minute, but she realizes what he said)

Jack: What did you think he was doing?

Janet: Well. ( she laughs) I thought he was... he was... (she faints but Jack catches her)
*****

Jack Tripper... John Ritter
Janet Wood... Joyce DeWitt
Chrissy Snow... Suzanne Somers
Larry Dallas... Richard Klien

[Already Gone]

That is really good.

[Chain Gang Member]

Poor Mr.Furley .BTW who's Melinda?

[PlayOn]

Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member

Poor Mr.Furley .BTW who's Melinda?

1 of Larry's girl-friends.

[PlayOn]

The Health Inspector pt. 1
************

(Living room. Day. Janet is on the couch wrapped in a blanket. She sneezes. Jack comes in from the kitchen holding a cup)

Jack: Here's Grandma Trippers special remedy. (He gives it to Janet, who takes a sip) It can cure anything. Even put hair on your chest. (Janet makes a gagging sound) I was only kidding.

Janet: No. It taste awful, no offense. (She hands Jack the cup back)

Jack: I'll put salt in it to hide the garlic taste.

Janet: Garlic? (She grabs a waste bucket by the couch and vomits in it. Jack goes back to the kitchen. Chrissy walks in from the girls bedroom carring a bag and wearing Daisy Dukes)

Chrissy: Janet, I'm sorry you're too sick to come to the beach with me.

Janet: Thanks, Chris. But you don't worry about me. Go have a high old time.

Chrissy (confused) : I don't think there will be any of THAT there. (Janet looks at her. Jack walks back in, holding the same cup. He notices Chrissy)

Jack: Well, well, well. Don't you look....leggy.

Chrissy: I'm going to the beach.

Jack: Better be glade its not the North Pole. (He laughs. Chrissy snorts)

Janet: Oh, brother!

Chrissy: Well, I better get going.

Janet (as Chrissy walks to the door; to Jack) : Don't wish her a high old time. (Chrissy opens the door. Larry is standing there. He notices Chrissy)

Larry: Well, well, well. Santa came early this year.

Chrissy: Everybody knows Santa is as real as the tooth fairy. (She turns to Jack and Janet) And people say I'M the dumb one. (She walks out)

Larry: What's her problem?

Jack: Her mom dropped her on her head as a baby.

Larry: Really?

Jack: No. But that's the only conclusion we could come up with. Come on in Lare. (Larry walks in, closing the door)

Larry: I have news. I have a friend, Patrick, down at the Health Department who said you were going to have a "new tentant." But it's really the health inspector comming.

Jack: Here?

Larry: No. McDonald's just opened a bed and breakfast down the block. Yes here.

Jack: When is he coming?

Larry: No idea. Patrick said he overheard his boss-the health inspector- telling his assisiant that he didn't like Furley leaving the whole apartment building to somebody who didn't have experience. So he's going to come down-or send somebody- to make sure everything is working right. And he or the person will pose as a tentant to throw you off track.

Jack: That's just great! I have 5 tentants complaining already about utilities not working.

Larry: We don't know when he's coming, Jack. Could be next week. Could be in a month. You have time to fix those up.

Jack: Those 5 were just from today. Lare would you help me fix those things up?

Larry: Sure.

Jack: Thanks, bud. (He starts to go to his bedroom)

Janet: Jack, I'm sick!

Jack: Oh, sorry. (He gives her the cup and goes to his bedroom, closing the door)

Janet: Fine. Don't worry about me. I'll just die slowly.

Larry: That's the spirit! (He exits. Janet puts the cup on the coffee table)

(Outside. Larry sees somebody standing out Furley's door)

Larry: Miss, that person doesn't live there anymore.

Woman: Well, can you tell me where I can find the land-lord?

Larry: Up here.

(Living room. Larry opens the door)

Larry: Just wait and he'll be right out.

Woman: Thanks. (Larry smiles and closes the door. The woman sees Janet) Hello.

Janet: Hi. Having problems with your apartment?

Woman: No. I'm looking to rent one. (Janets eyes get big and she jumps off the couch)

Janet: Not that these apartments have problems. They are in stable condition.

Woman: I'm sure they are.

Janet: No really. They are. No mice. No termites. Excuse me. (She knocks on Jacks door. He opens it. Janet pushes him back in and goes in the room after him)

Jack: What are you doing off the couch?

Janet: There is a woman out there who says she's looking for an apartment. She could be the health inspector!

Jack: Oh, God. I knew it!

Janet: Jack.

Jack: We'll be closed down. And homeless.

Janet: Jack.

Jack: The other tentants will be homeless, too! I hold people's lives in my hand.

Janet: Jack! (She slaps him)

Jack: Thank you, Janet. I need proof this person is the health inspector. (He goes to the door, cracks it open and peeps out. The woman is running her index finger along one of the tables. She makes a sour face. Jack closes the door) She's an inspector! Oh no. We're going to be homeless.

Janet: Don't start that again. Go out there and help her with anything she needs. But don't make it obvious that we know who she is.

Jack: Right. You rest. (He opens the door and closes it back) Hello. Jack Tripper. (He extends his hand.)

Woman: Ashley Martin. (They shake hands)

Jack: Oh. I didn't know you people could identify yourselves. (He realizes what he said) Um... I don't mean YOU people. I... umm...

Ashley: Are you alright, Mr. Tripper?

Jack: Never better. Let me show you an apartment we have free. (They go to the door. Jack tries to open it, but it's jammed. He turns and makes a worried smile at Ashley, who smiles back) What type of music do you like?

Ashley: Everything.

Jack: Me, too. But I love heavy metal. (He screams like a heavy metal singer and bangs on the door. It comes open.) After you. (Ashley goes out first, then Jack, who shuts the door)

(Living room. Later. The phone rings. Janet comes out of Jack's room and answears it)

Janet: Hello?

Larry: Janet. Jack there?

Janet: No. He's off showing the apartment to the health inspector.

Larry: What?

Janet: You know that woman you brought up here?

Larry: Yeah.

Janet: Well, turns out she's the health inspector. Jack's showing her one of the apartments.

Larry: Oh, no! She's not the health inspector! I just talked to Patrick. Mr. Peers-Patrick's boss- is on his way right now.

Janet: Oh, no! I'd better find Jack. Thanks for calling. (She hangs up. Chrissy walks in) Chrissy, have you seen Jack?

Chrissy: Janet, you know Jack. Brown hair.

Janet: I know what Jack looks like. Have you seen him around?

Chrissy: No. Why?

Janet: Oh. By the time we find him, it will probally be too late.

Chrissy: What are you talking about.

Janet: I'll tell you while we're changing.

(Living room. Few minutes later. Janet and Chrissy come out of there bedroom wearing overalls and tool belts)

Chrissy: What are we doing again.

Janet: I told you. We're going to try to fix every leak, every drip, every door and door bell before the inspector gets here.

Chrissy: Wouldn't it be easier to find Jack?

Janet: Yes, but he's busy. Now, lets start with our leaky sink pipe. (They go to the bathroom) I'll try first. (She lays under the sink) Which one of these doo-hickeys do I turn first?

Chrissy: You mean you don't know? Why can't we call Larry?

Janet: Larry's around fixing the tentants problems. Oh. I see it! Wrench. (Chrissy hands her a wrench. Janet turns a nut. A flood of water comes down on her. Chrissy laughs. Janet takes a handful of water and throws it at Chrissy. She slips. They laugh)

(Living room. The door bell rings. After a few minutes, a man opens it)

Man: Hello? I'm looking for an apartment to rent.
************

To Be Continued...

[Chain Gang Member]

Jack's in charge of the building?............DAMN!

[PlayOn]

Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member

Jack's in charge of the building?............DAMN!

yea. furley left it to him in the 1st episode.

(Living room)

Man: Hello? I'm looking for an apartment. (He hears the girls laughing, walks in and follows the noise. Janet and Chrissy are throwing water at each other. They notice him standing there and stop)

Chrissy: Um.... hi. We're....the plumbers.

Janet: We throw ourselves into our work

Man: Where's the manager?

Janet: He's talking care of something.

Man: Well, I'm Mr. Peers from the Health Department and from what I've seen here, you are closed!

Chrissy: You can't do that!

Peers: It's my job, miss. Now, where's the land lord?

Janet (lying) : He won't be back for a long time.

Chrissy: Janet, Jack just- (Janet nudges her) It could be years before he's back. (Peers walks way. Janet and Chrissy follow)

Peers: When he does get back, give him this. (He takes a piece of paper out his coat pocket, writes somthing on it and gives it to Janet. It says Closed as of _______.) I'll call him soon with the date this building is supposed to shut-down.

Janet: Sir, let us explain. (Jack and Larry walk in)

Jack: Hey, girls.

Chrissy: Jack!! (Janet hits her in the arm)

Janet: Can't you keep your mouth shut?

Peers: Are you the land lord?

Jack: Who's asking?

Peers: Mr. Peers of the Health Department. From what I've seen here, you're closed.

Jack: What?!

Peers: You're plumbers aren't doing their job. Caught them throwing water at each other.

Larry (to the girls) : Would you do that again on camera? (Jack looks at the girls. They look at the ceiling, around the room)
******

(Kitchen. Morning. Few days later. Jack is at the table eating ceral. The girl walk in)

Chrissy: Good morning Jack. (They sit)

Jack: Is it?

Janet: Oh, cheer up, Jack. We'll think of something to keep the building open.

Chrissy: You know. I can't but think this is our fault.

Jack (looks at Chrissy; sarcastically) : Ya think, tool girl? (Larry walks in)

Larry: Good morning. (The gang groans) Haven't thought of anything to keep the building open yet, huh?

Jack (sarcastically) : Yes, we have. We're sitting here, thinking about doing it! (He walks out)

Janet: We have to think of something!!

Chrissy (looking at an ad) : These dating sites are so fake! One of the men at the office went on one. Thought he found the perfect girl called BigBoobedBlonde from this area. But when they met, BigBoobedBloned was a tranny, with a peg leg. The biggest kicker was his hair wasn't blonde!

Janet: Chrissy, what the he--- (She stops) That's it!! Chrissy you are a genious.

Chrissy: Thanks. What did I say?

Janet: Larry, do you know a sexy woman that's free tonight?

Larry (taking his walet out of his pocket) : Take your pick. (He opens it and a long list of girls pictures unfolds out)

Janet: Great!

Chrissy: What are you going to do?

Janet: Well, Mr. Peers is supposed to come tonight to tell Jack when he's closing down the building right?

Chrissy: Yeah.

Janet: Well, (Scene fades as she talks)
*****

(Kitchen. Later. Janet, Larry and Chrissy are in a cirle.)

Janet: Ok, everybody knows what to do right?

Larry: Yep. Hilary is under the table and I told her what to do.

Janet: Great!

Chrissy: I forgot.

Janet: Oh, Chrissy! Just follow our lead. (They go to the living room. Jack is on the couch, looking sad) Does anybody want to go to the Begal?

Larry: I do. Crissy?

Chrissy: No, I'm not- (Janet stomps on Chrissy's foot) Ouch! Yea, I'll go. Man, am I hungrey! Jack, you coming?

Jack: No. You go ahead.

Janet: Jack, you can't stress over this. Mr. Peers called while you were in the shower and he said he wouldn't be over until 4:00.

Larry: It's 12:00 now. You have a few hours to kill. What do you say?

Jack: Fine, I'll go. (He gets up and they walk out. A few minutes later, Hilary comes out of the kitchen. She's dressed in a school girl outfit. There's a knock on the door. She opens it. It's Mr. Peers)

Peers: Is Jack Tripper here?

Hilary: He'll be right back.

Peers: Mind if I wait?

Hilary: No. Maybe we do things to each other while we're waiting. *wink*

Peers: Excuse me?

Hilary: I haven't had a man in so long and I'm so hot!! Can you fix that problem?

Peers: Ummm... (Hilary jerks him in and shuts the door)

Hilary: Make yourself at home.

Peers: Who are you?

Peers: I can be anything you want, big daddy. (She grabs hold of his tie and kisses him) Oh, to feel a man's lips!!! (She jumps in his arms and they fall over the couch and to the floor with Hilary on top)

Hilary: What's you're favorite fantasy?

Peers: Excuse me? (Hilary kisses him. The gang walks in)

Larry: Forgot your money? I told you I'd pay.

Jack: No. I- (He sees Mr. Peers and Hilary onthe floor) What the HELL?!! (Mr. Peers pushes Hilary off of him and stands) Mr. Peers. You have to believe me, I have no idea what's going on. (Mr. Peers laughs)

Peers: You sly devil. How ddi you know it was my birthday?

Jack: I-

Peers: How did you know this is what I wanted? Ever since my wife passed on, I haven't.... you know.

Hilary: I can fix that, big boy. (She tries to undo his belt)

Peers (to Hilary) : Later baby. (to Jack) : I got to thinking about what I said a few days ago, and I was kind of harsh of you. So, I'll give you a month to fix this place up before I come back.

Jack: I... I don't what to say.

Peers: You don't have to say anything. Thanks for the gift. (He gives Hilary a kiss on the cheek)
*****

The end

[Chain Gang Member]

Now who is Hilary?A tenent?Jack's girlfriend?Larry's girlfriend?

Bigboobedblonded

[PlayOn]

Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member

Now who is Hilary?A tenent?Jack's girlfriend?Larry's girlfriend?

Bigboobedblonded

one of larry's. she was one of the pics that fell out of his wallet.
***
The Wedding

(also: a moment most fans have been waiting for since T.C aired)
***

(Living room. Day. Janet and Jack are on the couch. Crissy is talking on the phone)

Chrissy: Oh, you want the wedding here? Well. (She looks at Jack and Janet. They nod) Sure. We'd love to have you. (long pause) ok, we'll see you then. Bye, sis. (She hangs up the phone and faces Jack and Janet) Thanks guys.
Jack: No, thank you. I mean your sister, Autum. (He whistles) Hot stuff.
Janet: You pig! So when is she coming here?
Chrissy: in the next few days. She wants to have a Christmas wedding.
Jack: Wow, you best be thinking fast about the plans.
Chrissy: She pretty much knows what she wants. One of the things she wants is Carrie Underwood to sing.
Janet: Carrie Underwood? You mean American Idol winner, millions of awards, Carrie Underwood?
Chrissy: Oh, you know her?
Janet: Not personally, but I dout she'll sing at your sisters wedding.
Chrissy: Would you like to bet on that?
Janet: Why not? Let's say (she thinks) How about 50 bucks.
Chrissy: 50?! (she laughs) Not very sure of yourself are you?
Janet: Fine. 100 $. fair enough?
Chrissy: Very fair.
Jack: Wait a minute girls. This is stupid. You cannot have a bet with out me. I also bet 100 $ you can't get Carrie Underwood.
Chrissy: You're on. (They shake hands)
***

(Living room. Next day. Chrissy is on the phone)

Chrissy: Yes. I've been on hold for an hour. I'd like to speak to Carrie Underwood's manager. (pause) Who am I? (she thinks) I'm the president of her fan club in California. (pause) Oh, she has a U.S manager, Well, I'm the president of her fan club in Asia. (pause) I don't have an accent because I'm sick. Can I just speak to Carrie's manager? Hello? Hello? Shoot! (She hangs up. The door bell rings) It's open! (Chrissy's sister, Autum walks in with suit cases. She sits them down and they hug)
Autum: Chrissy. Oh, have I missed you. How long has it been?
Chrissy: A mounth.
Autum: Oh. See? Too long.
Chrissy: You're going to take Jack's room. Jack said he would sleep on the sofa.
Autum: Ok. (She takes her suit case to Jack's bed room. Janet and Jack walk in)
Jack: Hey. Have you got Carrie yet?
Chrissy: No. But I still have a couple of days.
Janet: It just occured to me that your sisters name is Autum.
Chrissy: So?
Janet: Your name is Christmas. Did your family give you names of the season you were born so she wouldn't forget your birthdays?
Chrissy: Maybe. (Autum comes out of the bedroom.)
Autum: Hey, guys.
Jack and Janet: Hey, Autum. (She walks to the kitchen. Jack watches her. As soon as she waks in the kitchen...)
Jack: Have mercy!

(Living room. Night. The gang is on the sofa. Aumtum is on the phone)

Aumtum: Yes, and how much does she charge? (pause)
Jack (to Chrissy): Who is she talking to?
Chrissy: Carrie's manager.
Autum: OK. The wedding is set on Christmas day if Miss Underwood is interested. Thanks so much. Bye. (She hangs up) Well, Carrie's in my price range. That's a good sign. Her manager is going to ask if she wants to do it or not.
Chrissy (to Jack): HA!
Jack: HA! What?
Chrissy: You said we couldn't get Carrie Underwood. Pay up. You to, Miss Non-believer.
Janet: Wait we betted weather or weather not she would sing at the wedding.
Chrissy: Dang!
Janet: By the way Autum, how did you get ahold of Carrie's manager?
Autum: I'm the president of her fan club around here in California. (she goes to Jack's bedroom. Chrissy hangs her mouth open. Autum sticks her head out of the door) Oh, by the way, I talked to my fiance, John earlier. He'll be in town tomorrow.
Chrissy: Great!

(Living room. Later. Jack is asleep on the couch. He gets up, still alseep and goes to his bedroom and gets in bed with Autum)

(Living room. Chrissy is on the couch, reading a bridal magazine. The door bell rings. She gets up and opens it. It Autum fiance, John. He's holding suit cases.)

Chrissy: John.
John: Hey, Chrissy. (They hug) Autum's in the bedroom is you want to see her. I think she's still asleep.
John: I'll wake her up. (he goes to Jack's bedroom and sees Jack still in bed with Autum) What the hell is going on here? (They wake up, notice each other and scream)
Autum: Jack, what are you doing in my bed?
Jack: I don't know. I guess I sleep walked here.
John: Likely story!
Jack: Who the hell are you?
Autum: He's my fiance. John.
Jack: YIKES!! (he hides under the covers)
John: How could you do this to me, Autum? After everything we've been through. We were supposed to get married.
Autum: We are!
John: No. We WERE. (He walks out)
***

(Kitchen. A few minutes later. Jack is sitting at the table. Janet and Chrissy walk in)

Janet: Well well well. If it isn't The Wedding Crasher.
Jack: Not funny, Janet.
Janet: Relax. Just trying to lighten mood.
Jack: Chrissy, you have no idea how sorry I am.
Chrissy: Forget it. Like it hasn't before. Remember?
Jack: Oh, yea. I just hope things work out like they did that time. I mean, we're talking about marriage. (Autum walks in)
Autum: I talked to Carrie's manager. He said she would love to perform at our wedding. (She does an "I Love Lucy" cry: WAAA!)
Chrissy: Oh. Don't cry. (She gest up and hugs her sister)
Janet: Have you tried calling John?
Autum: No. I don't know what hotel he's at or even if he's in town. Oh, Chrissy what am I going to do? (Jack walks out)
Jack: Don't worry Autum. I'll fix what I messed up. (He goes in his bedroom, walks out with his coat on and walks out the door)
***

(John's apartment. John is laying on the sof watching TV. There's a knock on the door. He gets up and opens it. It's Jack)

John: What the hell are you doing here?
Jack: Can we talk?
John: We have nothing to talk about.
Jack: I think we do. What you walked in on wasn't what you thought. That was my room. I slept walk in there, forgetting who was in there and I crawled in bed. (John sighs) Whata are you watching?
John: Big Day. I thought I'd watch something that has people more screwed up than me and my life.
Jack: You don't have to believe me. But I know for a fact Autum loves you. She's spent most of the time she's been here trying to get Carrie Underwood to play at your wedding. It wasn't easy. So, just come on back. Please.
***

(Living room. Autum is on the sofa watching TV. She's crying)

TV (man): I love you.
TV (woman) I love you.
Autum: Oh. Joanie DOES love Chatchie. (Jack walks in with John. Autum looks at John)
John: I'm sorry. (They hug and kiss)
Autum: Does this mean the wedding is back on.
John: You bet.

(Living room. Christmas Day. Alot of people are sitting in wooden chairs. John is standing by a preacher. Jack is standing by John. The wedding march plays. Janet walks out of the girls bed room. Followed by Chrissy. They are holding bundels of flowers. They get on the far side of John. Autum comes out. Everybody stands. She walks slowly to John)

(Later)

Preacher: I now pronounc you man and wife. You may kiss the bride. (Autum and John kiss.)

(Later. A big after party is in the living room. Carrie Underwood walks on stage and starts singing "Inside Your Heaven." Autum and John take the dance floor first. Janet looks over at Jack, who is smiling at her. She smiles back. Jack winks her. Chrissy comes up to Janet)

Chrissy: How are you doing?
Janet: Great, but (pause) this may sound crazy, but (pause) I think Jack likes me.
Chrissy: Yea. That's called being friends.
Janet: No, Chrissy. I mean REALLY likes me.
Chrissy: You are REALLY good friends. (She catches on) OH! How can you be sure?
Janet: He was looking at me and smiling (pause) and winking)
Chrissy: Go talk to him.
Janet: No! If he doesn't like me I'll look like a fool then he'll know that I like him and I'll have to move out.
Chrissy: Or there could be sexual chemeristry between you for mounths. Just go. This isn't The young and the restless. If he feels the same way, great. If not, at least you know.
Janet: I don't know.
Chrissy: If you don't ask, you'll probaly never know. Then you'll spend the rest of your life wondering.
Janet: You know, Chrissy. Sometimes you can be a genious.
Chrissy: I was voted the Smart as an Ass during my Senior Year in High School (She smiles.)
Janet: And then there's times where I wonder how you made is passed 6th grade. (She walks to Jack) Hey.
Jack: Hey. Some wedding huh?
Janet: Yea. Everything turned out great. Um. I couldn't help but notice you looking at me, smiling and (pause) winking.
Jack: So?
Janet: Do you like me as in.....
Jack: What if I do? Do you like me that way?
Janet: Yes. I do.
Jack: At least we know how we feel about each other.
Janet: Yea. (She starts to walk away)
Jack: Janet. (Janet turns back)
Janet: Yea? (Jack kisses her)
***
The end

[PlayOn]

I'm have problems coming up with idea so if you have an idea, feel free to post it.

[PlayOn]

I had a break through.
***
Company Feud
***

(Living room. Day. Jack is walking out of the kitchen, just as Janet is coming out of the bathroom. They bump into each other and gaze into each eyes)

Jack: Janet-
Janet: Yeah?
Jack: Woud you- (he takes out a little box and gets on one knee) Would you be my wife? (He opens the box and she sees a baby's face. It's crying)

(Bedroom. Night. Janet wakes up and looks around, breathing heavily)

Janet: Thank God! It was just a dream.
Chrissy: Thank God what was a dream?
Janet: Did I wake you?
Chrissy: No, you aways moan and groan and scream out Jack's name in the middle of the night. Were you dreaming about him?
Janet: Yea. I dreamed he proposed to me. And when he opend the box, it was a baby's head.
Chrissy: How did he fit a baby's head in that little box? (Janet stares at her)
Janet: How did you make it through high school? Besides, that's the point. What do i say if Jack asked me to marry him. If I say no, he'll think I don't love him.
Chrissy: Slow The Love Boat down. You have only been dating for a few weeks. Besides, have you even (pause) you know. (Janet is silent) You did! When? Where? How?
Janet: New Years Eve. Back room at the Biestro. And I think you know how.
Chrissy: And? How was it?
Janet: We're still together aren't we? (Janet laughs. Chrissy joins in after a few minutes)
Chrissy: That doesn't answear my question.
***

(Living room. Day. Jack comes out of the kitchen. Janet comes out of the bathroom. They bump into each other)

Janet: Oh crap!
Jack: Janet, I have to ask you something. (He reaches in his pocket)
Janet (talking to herself): Oh crap. He's going to pop the question. (talking): Jack, I know what you're going to ask. And I can't accept your offer.
Jack: You mean you can't pick up my shirt from the dry cleaners? 9He takes out a pink slip of paper. Janet's face turns red)
Janet: Um. Sure. I can. I was just paying around.
Jack: Thanks. (He gives the slip of paper to Janet and goes to his bedroom. Janet opens the door. Larry is standing there)
Larry: Hey. Where's the others?
Janet: Jack is in his room and Chrissy is at the office. What's up?
Larry: Hold on. Jack! Come out! I've got news. (Jack comes out of his room)
Jack: What's going on?
Larry. I've got great news. I've got a realitive who works for a major TV company and he pulled some strings and we're going to be on Family Feud.
Janet: You mean that stupid show where two families have to fight another family for big bucks. And has that host pervert host who kisses the female contestants.
Larry: That's the one. (They get excited) We're going on the 5th. But we need to leave soon.
Jack: How soon?
Larry: Tonight.
Jack & Janet: What?!
Janet: That's impossible. Some of us have jobs. We just just leave town to go on a game show.
Larry: So what? With the money we'll make, you can start your own business. And Jack, hire somebody to look after the Beistro. The show is filmed in Hollywood, a few miles away. Please, go. Think about. Money. Fame. Money.
Janet: Fine. I guess so.
Jack: Count me in to.
Larry. Great! Hollywood, here we come.
***

(Family Feud green room. Jack and Janet are making out. Chrissy walks in, wearing a little Boo-Peep outfit. Jack and Janet look at her)

Jack: What the hell are you wearing?
Chrissy: It's always been my dream to wear a Little Boo-Peep outfit on stage. Maybe a talent big-shot will see me and say I want her in the movies!
Janet: Or he could say, I want her committed.
Chrissy: Say what you will, I like it.
Janet: Now I've seen everything. (Larry walks in dressed as Zoro) I spoke too soon.
Jack: Let me guess. You hope a talent scout casts you as Zoro?
Larry: Nope. I'm meeting this sexy blonde after the show. She has a thing for guys in Zoro costumes. (The producer sticks his head in the room.)
Producer: 5 minutes people. (He shuts the door)
Jack: Alright, guys. Take those stupid looking things off.
Chrissy: No! This is my big chance to make!
Janet: Or break it.
Chrissy: Just because you're Jack's girl toy doesn't mean you have to kiss his butt!
Janet: You take that back!
Chrissy: Never! It's true. (Janet gets up and pushes Chrissy. Chrissy pushes back. They are soon pulling each others hair and slapping)
Larry: I'm so turned on.
Jack: That's my girlfriend you're talking about.
Larry: Oh, Jack. Get your panties out of your. (Jack punches him)
***

(Family Feud stage)

Announcer: It's time for the Family Feud. Our first family is the Horns. (when the curtain around the Horns opens, they look like a nice, normal family) And then we have the Trippers. (when the curtain opens on them, they are still fighting, but using words. They notice they are on TV, and stop fighting and smile to the camera) Here's your host, Richard Karn. (Home Improvements Richard Karn comes out. The families go to the podiums.)
Richard: Welcome to the Family Feud, the best game on TV. I am Richard Karns, but enough about me. Lets play the game. (He goes to his own podium that has buzzers on both sides of it. Jack and a woman from the Horn family get behind the buzzers on hand on them)
Richard: We took survayed the audiance and, from the most popular 5 answears, what do you call a cheater? (Jack hits the buzzer)
Jack: Larry Dallas.
Larry: Wait just a minute here! When I said that, I was taking about Chrissy to. Not just Janet.
Janet: Oh shut up, Larry.
Chrissy: You shut up!
Richard: Why dont you both shut-up and let them answear the question?\
Chrissy: Larry, go on and talk. You don't have to shut up just because the queen bee says so.
Janet: I'd rather be uptight than not a cle about anything. And have the most annoying laugh of anyone I know. (she imitates Chrissy's laugh)
Chrissy: I that so, you (she tries to think of a name) meanie!
Janet: Ouch. That hurt.
Chrissy: This really going to hurt. (She kicks Janet. They fight.)
Larry: Why did we have to go by your last name? I was the one who got the tickets. We should have been the Dallas family.
Jack: You'r kidding right? If if wasn't for us agreeing to come on this stupid show, you would be at home watching porn and doing the dirty with yourself.
Larry: You said you would keep that a secret, that time you walked in on me.
Jack: Oops. (He playfully covers his mouth. Larry punches him. They get to fighting)
***

(Living room. Night. The gang walks in with messy hair, black eyes, torn
clothes, and tissue paper over thertuff noises. They sit on the couch)

Jack: I can't believe it took 5 police officers and Richard Karns to pull us apart.
Chrissy: I can't believe they posted posters of all of us outside the studio with the caption- BEWARE: CRAZY AND DANGEROUS. My picture looked like I was on Crack.
Janet: We acted like animals. Not only did we embarrass ourselves, we're not allowed 100 feet within the studio or Richard Karns.
Jack: We saw the dollar signs and we went nuts. We put money before our friendship. I'm sorry, Lare.
Larry: I'm sorry to, bud. (They shake hands)
Janet: Forgive me, Chrissy?
Chrissy: Always. (They hug and bump each others busted noses)
Both: OUCH!
***
The End
***
What do you think? I can take good and bad criticism.

[Chain Gang Member]

The dream Janet had was kinda creepy

[JackTripper258]

this is really funny. yeah, that dream janet was a little creepy but that's cool...my fave line out of this story is:

Jack: Never better. Let me show you an apartment we have free. (They go to the door. Jack tries to open it, but it's jammed. He turns and makes a worried smile at Ashley, who smiles back) What type of music do you like?

Ashley: Everything.

Jack: Me, too. But I love heavy metal. (He screams like a heavy metal singer and bangs on the door. It comes open.) After you. (Ashley goes out first, then Jack, who shuts the door)


it was so Jack lol