When Did She Say This?

[NOVARick]

Does anybody recognize this quote and, if so, do you know when Lucille Ball said it?

"Desi was the great love of my life. I will miss him until the day I die. But I don't regret divorcing him. I just couldn't take it anymore."

My guess is that she said this around the time of Desi's death. But I would also suspect this was said privately and not publicly. I wouldn't think it would have made Gary Morton feel too good.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by NOVARick

Does anybody recognize this quote and, if so, do you know when Lucille Ball said it?

"Desi was the great love of my life. I will miss him until the day I die. But I don't regret divorcing him. I just couldn't take it anymore."

My guess is that she said this around the time of Desi's death. But I would also suspect this was said privately and not publicly. I wouldn't think it would have made Gary Morton feel too good.

I know she said words to the effect of "Desi was the love of my life, when I married him" on a local Los Angeles news show. She said this on her birthday because whenever she appeared on this local show (via telephone) it was her birthday and they would have a I Love Lucy marathon. They did this every year on Lucy's birthday. In between commercials and episodes, the hosts of the show would talk to Lucy, talk abt the episodes, talk abt behind the scenes stuff, talk abt Vivian, William and of course, Desi. I am not sure which year this was, but I know I heard her say that abt Desi (my quote above) at least twice. It made me really love Lucy even more because no matter what Desi put her through, she showed her enduring love for him. She may have divorced him, but simply because as the quote you posted says, "She couldn't take it anymore." I know what she felt. I believe many people feel that way even though they divorce. I hope this helps.

As for Gary, he must have been a very understanding man, as Lucy is not the first person to say good things abt an ex-spouse. Gary and Lucy must have had many private talks abt her life with Desi. Gary may have been a man who could see and really know what Lucy meant behind her statements. She married Gary, that proved her love for him. She was in love with Gary. She loved Desi, but was no longer IN LOVE with him. Two vastly different things.

[NOVARick]

Then it sounds like that quote must have been a private one. I feel like I read it in one of the bios, and it was something she told a friend. But this wasn't really a secret to Gary, according to some of the other books. He cousin Lee Tannen's book references a scene days after Lucy died when Gary made a dismissive remark about Lucy, something to the effect of "now she can finally be happy because she's with Desi again."

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

I know she said words to the effect of "Desi was the love of my life, when I married him" on a local Los Angeles news show. She said this on her birthday because whenever she appeared on this local show (via telephone) it was her birthday and they would have a I Love Lucy marathon. They did this every year on Lucy's birthday. In between commercials and episodes, the hosts of the show would talk to Lucy, talk abt the episodes, talk abt behind the scenes stuff, talk abt Vivian, William and of course, Desi. I am not sure which year this was, but I know I heard her say that abt Desi (my quote above) at least twice. It made me really love Lucy even more because no matter what Desi put her through, she showed her enduring love for him. She may have divorced him, but simply because as the quote you posted says, "She couldn't take it anymore." I know what she felt. I believe many people feel that way even though they divorce. I hope this helps.

As for Gary, he must have been a very understanding man, as Lucy is not the first person to say good things abt an ex-spouse. Gary and Lucy must have had many private talks abt her life with Desi. Gary may have been a man who could see and really know what Lucy meant behind her statements. She married Gary, that proved her love for him. She was in love with Gary. She loved Desi, but was no longer IN LOVE with him. Two vastly different things.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by NOVARick

Then it sounds like that quote must have been a private one. I feel like I read it in one of the bios, and it was something she told a friend. But this wasn't really a secret to Gary, according to some of the other books. He cousin Lee Tannen's book references a scene days after Lucy died when Gary made a dismissive remark about Lucy, something to the effect of "now she can finally be happy because she's with Desi again."

Oooooh, really? Wow...that is mean on Gary's part. On the other hand, if Lucy was saying things (publicly or privately) and Gary got a wind of it, he must have had a fragile ego. I shouldn't put it that way. I am sure he was sensitive to hearing that kind of stuff. I guess I wouldn't want to hear that from my spouse. I guess I am going merely by the "it's not what you say, but how you say it" rule.

[CyBr]

I just finished reading "Lucy in the Afternoon" which I think was one of the best Lucy books I've read. It has great stories from Lucy. She's even more frank than in her own autobiography "Love, Lucy", maybe because it's years later and Desi was gone by then. It's also the most I've read about Lucy's later years and her relationship with both Gary and Desi. According to this book, Lucy adored Gary, and he understood what Desi had meant to her and never felt threatened by it.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by CyBr

I just finished reading "Lucy in the Afternoon" which I think was one of the best Lucy books I've read. It has great stories from Lucy. She's even more frank than in her own autobiography "Love, Lucy", maybe because it's years later and Desi was gone by then. It's also the most I've read about Lucy's later years and her relationship with both Gary and Desi. According to this book, Lucy adored Gary, and he understood what Desi had meant to her and never felt threatened by it.

I hope so. That has always been the feeling I got, but then we never really knows what goes on behind closed doors. I can't imagine if Gary felt threatened like that, he would have remained married to her. The fact that they remained married tells me that (hopefully) those two loved each other deeply.

[NOVARick]

Originally Posted by CyBr

I just finished reading "Lucy in the Afternoon" which I think was one of the best Lucy books I've read. It has great stories from Lucy. She's even more frank than in her own autobiography "Love, Lucy", maybe because it's years later and Desi was gone by then. It's also the most I've read about Lucy's later years and her relationship with both Gary and Desi. According to this book, Lucy adored Gary, and he understood what Desi had meant to her and never felt threatened by it.

I had the pleasure of spending a day with the author of that book several years ago. Suffice it to say that, in person, he was much more candid than he was able to be in his book. Out of respect for him, I won't go into details. But there were definitely some issues in the Morton household. However, that's not to say that they didn't love one another. I'm sure they did. I think Lucille Ball wasn't the easiest person to live with, so I give him credit for staying by her side all those years. And he had to have had a certain amount of fortitude to always be in the shadow of Desi Arnaz. But at the same time, he was not completely secure about it, either, and managed to push away from Lucy a number of friends who had been very close to her during her years with Desi. Some of those folks have since commented on that and are, understandably, a bit resentful towards him. But I imagine he felt somewhat threatened by those people as they represented to him Lucy's old life with Desi.

I think Lucy and Gary had a complicated relationship. In later years, some feel he was a bit neglectful towards Lucy, particularly after her stroke when she couldn't get out of the house very much. But he continued to go off and play golf or go to the office every day while Lucy was stuck at home, bored and lonely. According to Lee Tannen, within a couple days of Lucy's death, Gary rearranged the furniture in the living room declaring "now things around here are going to be MY way," and also made that comment that "now she can finally be happy again because she's with Desi." That all seems rather cold. But a lot of people have a certain amount of pent-up anger or frustration towards someone close to them in life, but that doesn't mean they don't love them. I remember several months after her death Gary Morton appeared at the Emmys and accepted an award on Lucy's behalf (the Governor's Award). Teary-eyed, he gave a very touching and, it seemed, sincere statement about her. It was obvious then that he loved her.

I think Lucy and Gary gave one another comfort and security, something that had been missing in her marriage to Desi. But with Desi, there was an intense passion, something that, perhaps, was missing in her marriage to Gary. But after that painful divorce, passion was less important to her than comfort and security.