I met Cara Hates Eggsit - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Kitt · 11-06-2001, 07:25 PM

I've researched and found out the true identity of Cara hates eggsit. We agreed not to reveal her real name or too much information, so as not to have her privacy be invaded. I'll call her Myrtle because her appearance reminded me of a white haired elderly woman I once knew by that name.

Myrtle is 81 years of age. Her husband, of 61 years, died 6 months ago. Her neighbors and friends, who, to a person, love Myrtle dearly, say that she took it quite well and has in fact rallied in spirit. Myrtle is active in her community, a small town in Texas that I'll call, Hopkins. She's a church goer (Baptist) and is the hit of every bake sale and pot-luck with her pies, cakes and her prized, "Toe-curlin' Texas Chili". (I had some. Yep, it's toe-curlin all right.) Ever since her husband's death she's been making bi-weekly trips to Austin. Only her close friend, an elderly gentleman, who asked that I refer to him as Rafe, after his great uncle who fought in the civil war, knows what it is that she does in Austin. I--probably the umpteenth person to do so--asked Rafe which side his uncle fought for. Rafe answered, "The American side."

Rafe told me that Myrtle's Austin trips had something to do with music. "And I don't mean church music," he said with a wink. That might, perhaps, explain Cara/Myrtle's familiarity with rap music. Rafe says that two of Myrtle's "juvenile delinquent" great grandkids, a teenage boy and girl, accompany Myrtle on these Austin trips.

"They're not bad kids, really," Rafe said, "They'd do anything for Myrtle. I'm pretty sure that they've been supplying her with 'medicinal marijuana'. Myrtles' got ailments, you know, but she ain't too fond of doctors. I watch her house when she's gone and take care of her dog, Jones, who's old as Moses but thinks he's a pup. He tries to play with my cat. He gets his nose raked every time. Myrtle gets on me about that, but hell, what am I supposed to do? Dogs and cats. You know?"

Myrtle and Rafe took me on a tour of her home. Nothing remarkable about it except for she has an immaculate and oversized kitchen in comparison to the rest of the house. She also has a room that she keeps locked all of the time. Even Rafe hasn't been in there. I asked her, "So what's the big secret, Myrtle?" Rafe Quipped, "I think she's got posters of all her favorite singers and musicians on the walls in there." Myrtle blushed and smiled, then she said, with vigor, "By God, Rafe, that's right! And movie stars too!"

Myrtle asked rafe and me if we wanted to stay for 'supper'. I didn't think that Rafe really needed an invite, because they seemed to be so chummy, but he played along. After my pausing he asked me, "Well, whataya think?" Myrtle must have seen my eyes starting to water 'cause she said, "Don't worry, Wimp." Then gesturing at the grandeur of the kitchen she said, "Can't you see? I can cook other stuff 'sides chili!" And she did. In the time it took Rafe and me to split the better part of a six-pack of Lone Star, she'd served up a supper of bean with ham soup, corn bread and fried okra; all amazingly tasty.

As Rafe and I were leaving and expressing our gratitude for her hospitality, she said to me, "Tell them little darlins' on the board," (she sprang into rap mode)" I ain't no skank. I jus luv gettin' rank..." Or something like that. I don't want to misquote her too badly. I cut in, "Myrtle...Myrt!" She stopped her poetry short, and I told her that I'd be sure to tell them.
"Thanks. And Kitt," she said, "Thanks for visiting."
"You're welcome Myrtle/Cara. It was my pleasure."

[This message has been edited by kittflynn (edited 11-09-2001).]

Kay Scarpetta · 11-06-2001, 08:06 PM

Oh My Lordness I am SO lost. This Cara person is actually 81? Or is that a made up age? You live in the same town or city? Wowwwwwwwwww am I confused

------------------
Yankees, you can KISS MY ASS

°·.*¤*-Karli Cauble-the Lisa Cult-*¤*.·°
aka Karli Chica Bungalow, aka Vanilla Martinez, aka Ivy Hutchins, aka Goddess #2, aka Kiwi Coco Puff

Check out my site about the bestest most awesomeness person in the world:
The Beautiful, Wonderful, Talented, Exquisite... Lisa Whelchel

*Look at me, You may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me. Every day it's as if I play a part. Now I see if I wear a mask, I can fool the world, but I cannot fool my heart. Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside? I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart, and what I believe in. But somehow, I will show the world what's inside my heart, and be loved for who I am.

letsgoreyes · 11-06-2001, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever:
Oh My Lordness I am SO lost. This Cara person is actually 81? Or is that a made up age? You live in the same town or city? Wowwwwwwwwww am I confused

I am lost 2!

------------------
-Brian C.

Montana Ponine · 11-06-2001, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever:
Oh My Lordness I am SO lost. This Cara person is actually 81? Or is that a made up age? You live in the same town or city? Wowwwwwwwwww am I confused

omg same here, are you serious??

Meg07945 · 11-06-2001, 08:39 PM

umm...of course she isn't.....lol

Beruche · 11-06-2001, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever:
Oh My Lordness I am SO lost. This Cara person is actually 81? Or is that a made up age? You live in the same town or city? Wowwwwwwwwww am I confused

I'm confused too!

DJM77 · 11-06-2001, 08:45 PM

If Cara is 81, than she is the weirdest old lady on the face of the earth.

letsgoreyes · 11-06-2001, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DJM77:
If Cara is 81, than she is the weirdest old lady on the face of the earth.

ur right

------------------
-Brian C.

Montana Ponine · 11-06-2001, 09:07 PM

Is this a joke? I'm sorry if it is im kinda stupid and I don't get things... I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

KerriBerri687 · 11-06-2001, 09:20 PM

im waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay confused...

marmalade · 11-06-2001, 09:34 PM

hmm...

~*hosebabe87*~ · 11-06-2001, 09:41 PM

in the words of Rick Ricardo, "'Splain yurself!!!"

vienna waits · 11-06-2001, 09:55 PM

whoa I'm pretty lost too ???

???

11-06-2001, 10:12 PM

I'll explain things I aint ****in 81. I am 14 and I don't live in texas cause texas is gay I LIVE IN G~PORT PENNSYLVANIA AND ME AND MY THUGZ R GONNA KICK THE LIVIN **** OUT OF THE PERSON WHO WROTE AND WHAT THE **** IS A MYRTLE ......THE PERSON WHO WROTE MUST HAVE A LIL TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS TO MAKE UP THE WEIRDEST MOST CONFUSING STORY IN THE WORLD......YOU SHOULD BE GLAD YOU REALLY DONT KNOW ME CAUSE IF U EVER EVER SHOW UP IN GLASSPORT PENNSYLVANIA YOU WILL NEVER MAKE IT OUT CAUSE ME AND MY GURLZ WILL KICK U ****IN ASS U MUTHER ****IN BITCH YOU AINT HARD MAKIN UP GAY STORIES LIKE THAT YOU ****IN HOE!!!!!!HAVE A LIL TOO MUCH CRACK TADAY HUNNY???????????

B****, I'm-a kill you
You don't wanna f*** with me,
Girls leave, you ain't nothin'
But a sl*t to me
B****, I'm-a kill you
You ain't got the balls to beef,
We ain't never stop beefin',
An' I squash the beef
You better kill me
I'm-a be another rapper dead,
For poppin' off at the mouth
With sh*t I shouldn't have said
But when they kill me
I'm bringin' the world with me,
B****es too, you ain't nothin'
But a girl to me
I said you don't
Wanna f*** with Shady
'Cause Shady
Will f***in' kill you
You don't
Wanna f*** with Shady
'Cause Shady
Will f***in' kill you

B****, I'm-a kill you
Like a murder weapon
I'm-a conceal you
In a closet with mildew,
Sheets, pillows and film you
F*** with me, I've been through hell,
Shut the hell up
I'm tryin' to develop these pictures
Of the Devil to sell them
I ain't Acid Rap but I rap on acid
Got a new glow ball
And just had a strap-on added

angel676 · 11-06-2001, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cara Hates Eggsit:
I'll explain things I aint ****in 81. I am 14 and I don't live in texas cause texas is gay I LIVE IN G~PORT PENNSYLVANIA AND ME AND MY THUGZ R GONNA KICK THE LIVIN **** OUT OF THE PERSON WHO WROTE AND WHAT THE **** IS A MYRTLE ......THE PERSON WHO WROTE MUST HAVE A LIL TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS TO MAKE UP THE WEIRDEST MOST CONFUSING STORY IN THE WORLD......YOU SHOULD BE GLAD YOU REALLY DONT KNOW ME CAUSE IF U EVER EVER SHOW UP IN GLASSPORT PENNSYLVANIA YOU WILL NEVER MAKE IT OUT CAUSE ME AND MY GURLZ WILL KICK U ****IN ASS U MUTHER ****IN BITCH YOU AINT HARD MAKIN UP GAY STORIES LIKE THAT YOU ****IN HOE!!!!!!HAVE A LIL TOO MUCH CRACK TADAY HUNNY???????????

B****, I'm-a kill you
You don't wanna f*** with me,
Girls leave, you ain't nothin'
But a sl*t to me
B****, I'm-a kill you
You ain't got the balls to beef,
We ain't never stop beefin',
An' I squash the beef
You better kill me
I'm-a be another rapper dead,
For poppin' off at the mouth
With sh*t I shouldn't have said
But when they kill me
I'm bringin' the world with me,
B****es too, you ain't nothin'
But a girl to me
I said you don't
Wanna f*** with Shady
'Cause Shady
Will f***in' kill you
You don't
Wanna f*** with Shady
'Cause Shady
Will f***in' kill you

B****, I'm-a kill you
Like a murder weapon
I'm-a conceal you
In a closet with mildew,
Sheets, pillows and film you
F*** with me, I've been through hell,
Shut the hell up
I'm tryin' to develop these pictures
Of the Devil to sell them
I ain't Acid Rap but I rap on acid
Got a new glow ball
And just had a strap-on added

Are you really 14 years old? I've never
met a 14 year old who cussess like you
do, please don't take that as an insult,
I'm not insulting you. Judging by your
email, I'm assuming that you are in a
gang, I could be wrong though, it just
seems like it.

11-06-2001, 07:25 PM	#1
Kitt James Dean Forum Veteran Join Date: Aug 16, 2001 Location: California Dreamin' Posts: 6,115	I met Cara Hates Eggsit I've researched and found out the true identity of Cara hates eggsit. We agreed not to reveal her real name or too much information, so as not to have her privacy be invaded. I'll call her Myrtle because her appearance reminded me of a white haired elderly woman I once knew by that name. Myrtle is 81 years of age. Her husband, of 61 years, died 6 months ago. Her neighbors and friends, who, to a person, love Myrtle dearly, say that she took it quite well and has in fact rallied in spirit. Myrtle is active in her community, a small town in Texas that I'll call, Hopkins. She's a church goer (Baptist) and is the hit of every bake sale and pot-luck with her pies, cakes and her prized, "Toe-curlin' Texas Chili". (I had some. Yep, it's toe-curlin all right.) Ever since her husband's death she's been making bi-weekly trips to Austin. Only her close friend, an elderly gentleman, who asked that I refer to him as Rafe, after his great uncle who fought in the civil war, knows what it is that she does in Austin. I--probably the umpteenth person to do so--asked Rafe which side his uncle fought for. Rafe answered, "The American side." Rafe told me that Myrtle's Austin trips had something to do with music. "And I don't mean church music," he said with a wink. That might, perhaps, explain Cara/Myrtle's familiarity with rap music. Rafe says that two of Myrtle's "juvenile delinquent" great grandkids, a teenage boy and girl, accompany Myrtle on these Austin trips. "They're not bad kids, really," Rafe said, "They'd do anything for Myrtle. I'm pretty sure that they've been supplying her with 'medicinal marijuana'. Myrtles' got ailments, you know, but she ain't too fond of doctors. I watch her house when she's gone and take care of her dog, Jones, who's old as Moses but thinks he's a pup. He tries to play with my cat. He gets his nose raked every time. Myrtle gets on me about that, but hell, what am I supposed to do? Dogs and cats. You know?" Myrtle and Rafe took me on a tour of her home. Nothing remarkable about it except for she has an immaculate and oversized kitchen in comparison to the rest of the house. She also has a room that she keeps locked all of the time. Even Rafe hasn't been in there. I asked her, "So what's the big secret, Myrtle?" Rafe Quipped, "I think she's got posters of all her favorite singers and musicians on the walls in there." Myrtle blushed and smiled, then she said, with vigor, "By God, Rafe, that's right! And movie stars too!" Myrtle asked rafe and me if we wanted to stay for 'supper'. I didn't think that Rafe really needed an invite, because they seemed to be so chummy, but he played along. After my pausing he asked me, "Well, whataya think?" Myrtle must have seen my eyes starting to water 'cause she said, "Don't worry, Wimp." Then gesturing at the grandeur of the kitchen she said, "Can't you see? I can cook other stuff 'sides chili!" And she did. In the time it took Rafe and me to split the better part of a six-pack of Lone Star, she'd served up a supper of bean with ham soup, corn bread and fried okra; all amazingly tasty. As Rafe and I were leaving and expressing our gratitude for her hospitality, she said to me, "Tell them little darlins' on the board," (she sprang into rap mode)" I ain't no skank. I jus luv gettin' rank..." Or something like that. I don't want to misquote her too badly. I cut in, "Myrtle...Myrt!" She stopped her poetry short, and I told her that I'd be sure to tell them. "Thanks. And Kitt," she said, "Thanks for visiting." "You're welcome Myrtle/Cara. It was my pleasure." [This message has been edited by kittflynn (edited 11-09-2001).]

11-06-2001, 10:12 PM	#14
Cara Hates Eggsit Guest Posts: n/a	I'll explain things I aint **in 81. I am 14 and I don't live in texas cause texas is gay I LIVE IN G~PORT PENNSYLVANIA AND ME AND MY THUGZ R GONNA KICK THE LIVIN OUT OF THE PERSON WHO WROTE AND WHAT THE IS A MYRTLE ......THE PERSON WHO WROTE MUST HAVE A LIL TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS TO MAKE UP THE WEIRDEST MOST CONFUSING STORY IN THE WORLD......YOU SHOULD BE GLAD YOU REALLY DONT KNOW ME CAUSE IF U EVER EVER SHOW UP IN GLASSPORT PENNSYLVANIA YOU WILL NEVER MAKE IT OUT CAUSE ME AND MY GURLZ WILL KICK U IN ASS U MUTHER IN BITCH YOU AINT HARD MAKIN UP GAY STORIES LIKE THAT YOU IN HOE!!!!!!HAVE A LIL TOO MUCH CRACK TADAY HUNNY??????????? B, I'm-a kill you You don't wanna f* with me, Girls leave, you ain't nothin' But a slt to me B**, I'm-a kill you You ain't got the balls to beef, We ain't never stop beefin', An' I squash the beef You better kill me I'm-a be another rapper dead, For poppin' off at the mouth With sht I shouldn't have said But when they kill me I'm bringin' the world with me, B**es too, you ain't nothin' But a girl to me I said you don't Wanna f* with Shady 'Cause Shady Will f*in' kill you You don't Wanna f* with Shady 'Cause Shady Will f*in' kill you B, I'm-a kill you Like a murder weapon I'm-a conceal you In a closet with mildew, Sheets, pillows and film you F* with me, I've been through hell, Shut the hell up I'm tryin' to develop these pictures Of the Devil to sell them I ain't Acid Rap but I rap on acid Got a new glow ball And just had a strap-on added
Cara Hates Eggsit Guest Posts: n/a

11-06-2001, 08:06 PM	#2
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	Oh My Lordness I am SO lost. This Cara person is actually 81? Or is that a made up age? You live in the same town or city? Wowwwwwwwwww am I confused ------------------ *Yankees, you can KISS MY ASS* °·.¤-Karli Cauble-the Lisa Cult-¤.·° aka Karli Chica Bungalow, aka Vanilla Martinez, aka Ivy Hutchins, aka Goddess #2, aka Kiwi Coco Puff Check out my site about the bestest most awesomeness person in the world: The Beautiful, Wonderful, Talented, Exquisite... Lisa Whelchel Look at me, You may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me.* Every day it's as if I play a part. Now I see if I wear a mask, I can fool the world, but I cannot fool my heart. Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside? I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart, and what I believe in. But somehow, I will show the world what's inside my heart, and be loved for who I am.

11-06-2001, 08:39 PM	#5
Meg07945 Olive!!! Senior Member Join Date: Jan 16, 2001 Location: New Jersey!! The Garden State!! Posts: 1,001	umm...of course she isn't.....lol

11-06-2001, 08:45 PM	#7
DJM77 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: May 15, 2001 Location: Missouri Posts: 5,566	If Cara is 81, than she is the weirdest old lady on the face of the earth.

11-06-2001, 09:07 PM	#9
Montana Ponine Tragically Beautiful Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 18, 2001 Location: Sondheimville Posts: 4,529	Is this a joke? I'm sorry if it is im kinda stupid and I don't get things... I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

11-06-2001, 09:20 PM	#10
KerriBerri687 defying gravity Senior Member Join Date: Jan 13, 2001 Location: you'll find me in Emerald City...I'm the green one with the flying monkeys Posts: 2,869	im waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay confused...

11-06-2001, 09:34 PM	#11
marmalade Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 18, 2001 Location: Louisiana Posts: 469	hmm...

11-06-2001, 09:41 PM	#12
~hosebabe87~ Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 16, 2001 Posts: 304	in the words of Rick Ricardo, "'Splain yurself!!!"

11-06-2001, 09:55 PM	#13
vienna waits avatars are stupid. Forum Superstar Join Date: May 18, 2001 Location: Ravenclaw Common Room Posts: 29,859	whoa I'm pretty lost too ??? ???