Getting over past anger and resentment - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TheGreatPretender · 10-26-2006, 05:12 PM

What are ways in which you get over certain things that happened to you in your past that you regret and resent? Do you find it difficult to get over things and do you find that they affect the type of person you are today? Sometimes I will just be going along and then I'll find something that reminds me of something bad that happened to me or something someone said to me over 8 years ago. It's even more difficult when it has to do with family, one time in a confrontation with my parents I explained to them some of the reasons why I'm so bitter and angry towards them and they denied everything. I think anger is one of the hardest things to get over.

JuicyCoutureGirl · 10-26-2006, 05:47 PM

The ways I try to get over anger is to just simply let it all out, talk to someone I trust.

It is hard to let go, trust me. I'm holding on to something that happened 12 years ago, my mother was killed in a car accident when I was 14, a drunk driver totaled her freakin' car. The real kicker is my dad got re-married four months AFTER we buried her. I still carry my anger towards my father which resulted in him not seeing his granddaughter and meeting his daughter-in-law.

Ireneparalegal · 10-26-2006, 06:16 PM

Good Question.

I carried a grudge and a lot of anger towards my ex-husband when I filed for divorce. His anger towards me for filing for divorce only fueled my temper and eventual hate for him. I realized after two years of carrying this heavy burden on my shoulders and in my heart, I had to let it go. I had to forgive him for hating me and move on. The weight that was lifted off my shoulders FELT SO GREAT. I felt like I could finally breathe. Eventually he felt the same way. Although he never stopped loving me, we became friends. We had to, we shared two daughters. And right before he passed away in May, we still were able to convey to each other our final goodbyes and any thoughts we had. I am glad for that.

Kay Scarpetta · 10-26-2006, 06:22 PM

I've been having a hard time lately with regret. I always said I never regretted anything that I've ever done because I learned from it... but lately I just wish I could turn back time and do it all over.

I guess I just need to accept it... that's all you can do.

JuicyCoutureGirl · 10-26-2006, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Good Question.

I carried a grudge and a lot of anger towards my ex-husband when I filed for divorce. His anger towards me for filing for divorce only fueled my temper and eventual hate for him. I realized after two years of carrying this heavy burden on my shoulders and in my heart, I had to let it go. I had to forgive him for hating me and move on. The weight that was lifted off my shoulders FELT SO GREAT. I felt like I could finally breathe. Eventually he felt the same way. Although he never stopped loving me, we became friends. We had to, we shared two daughters. And right before he passed away in May, we still were able to convey to each other our final goodbyes and any thoughts we had. I am glad for that.

I'm glad that you and your ex fixed things before he passed.

Ireneparalegal · 10-26-2006, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThinkPink1985

I'm glad that you and your ex fixed things before he passed.

Thank you. I am glad also. It was a blessing. How many people get a chance to say goodbye to people they care for and/or love? Not too many.

DOPEY85xxx · 10-26-2006, 06:53 PM

There are alot of things I regret about my past. For years I use to punish myself about the what ifs , but then one day I woke up and realized you cannot beat yourself or others for things that use to be. I found that forgivness of others came easier than forgiving myself,so yes I regret hating myself and others for things that happened years ago. Forgivong yourself and others takes time but its possible.

JuicyCoutureGirl · 10-26-2006, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Thank you. I am glad also. It was a blessing. How many people get a chance to say goodbye to people they care for and/or love? Not too many.

Not many, including me. I'm still mad that I never got to say goodbye to my mom. It happened like a thief in the night, one minute she's sowing my cheerleading uniform, even though she was late meeting friends for dinner, the next we get a phone call saying that she died in the crash and that bastard only walked away with a damn scratch on his big ass head!

Ireneparalegal · 10-26-2006, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThinkPink1985

Not many, including me. I'm still mad that I never got to say goodbye to my mom. It happened like a thief in the night, one minute she's sowing my cheerleading uniform, even though she was late meeting friends for dinner, the next we get a phone call saying that she died in the crash and that bastard only walked away with a damn scratch on his big ass head!

That is horrible. I can't even put words to describe how horrible that is. I can only give you my condolences. I am truly sorry. How old were you when this tragedy occurred?

I lost my mom when I had just turned 6. She slipped and fell. When she fell, she hit her head. She went into a coma at the hospital and never came out of it. She died shortly thereafter. I was asleep when this occurred so like you, one moment I had kissed my mother goodnight and the next thing I know, she is in a hospital in a coma. She died three days later. A little girl needs her mother and I lost mine. So, I know how lucky and blessed I was to have said goodbye to my ex-husband and my father when they were each on their deathbeds. There is no feeling like it. It is sorrowful, but such a blessing to say whatever you want to say before that person dies. Again, I am sorry for what you went through and what you continue to go through. I dealt with my mother's death for years because I was too young to understand.

JuicyCoutureGirl · 10-26-2006, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

That is horrible. I can't even put words to describe how horrible that is. I can only give you my condolences. I am truly sorry. How old were you when this tragedy occurred?

I lost my mom when I had just turned 6. She slipped and fell. When she fell, she hit her head. She went into a coma at the hospital and never came out of it. She died shortly thereafter. I was asleep when this occurred so like you, one moment I had kissed my mother goodnight and the next thing I know, she is in a hospital in a coma. She died three days later. A little girl needs her mother and I lost mine. So, I know how lucky and blessed I was to have said goodbye to my ex-husband and my father when they were each on their deathbeds. There is no feeling like it. It is sorrowful, but such a blessing to say whatever you want to say before that person dies. Again, I am sorry for what you went through and what you continue to go through. I dealt with my mother's death for years because I was too young to understand.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry about your mother!!!! And to lose her at such an young age!

When my mother was killed, I was only 14 years old. I do remember this very well because sadly, my parents were arguing that day, it was so bad, that my brother(who was home from college) had to basically jump in to stop our dad from punching her in the face.

I still remember the call and going to the scene, my mother's car was crushed and she lost her left hand. On the passenger side was my cheerleading pom-pom that I left in the car. I was torn inside and fainted. What was f****d up, was my father felt nothing. He didn't shed a tear and quickly dated (I still think to this day that he messed around) someone a couple of days BEFORE my mom's funeral. He didn't go with us to bury her in her country(Russia). Let's just say that from them until 18 I've spent MANY nights over friend's houses.

dawsongirl · 10-26-2006, 09:08 PM

I don't. I'm still letting a bad job experience from 2004 eat at me. I still hate those people and will until I'm 90. I hold grudges FOREVER. And talking about it doesn't make it leave my head at all.

It's not a good thing.

JuicyCoutureGirl · 10-26-2006, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawsongirl

I don't. I'm still letting a bad job experience from 2004 eat at me. I still hate those people and will until I'm 90. I hold grudges FOREVER. And talking about it doesn't make it leave my head at all.

It's not a good thing.

Now that I think about it, talking about only makes me even more pissed off. So I totally feel you. I had a bad job experience once, the end result? I came out on top. Now they wish they had my career!

rusyd · 10-27-2006, 12:58 AM

Oh boy, I have so many feelings from the past that I can't or won't let go. I pray to God all the time about it. It would make my life a lot easier if I could just let all of it go.

dawsongirl · 10-27-2006, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThinkPink1985

Now that I think about it, talking about only makes me even more pissed off. So I totally feel you. I had a bad job experience once, the end result? I came out on top. Now they wish they had my career!

I ended up walking out. lol There was no way to win with those two.

TheGreatPretender · 10-27-2006, 02:07 PM

For me it's weird, because it's little things that would sneak up on me. Such as not standing up for myself when i thought I should have as early as elementary school

10-26-2006, 05:12 PM	#1
TheGreatPretender just because Forum Veteran Join Date: May 22, 2004 Location: Trying to think of a creative, witty location. Posts: 7,628	Getting over past anger and resentment What are ways in which you get over certain things that happened to you in your past that you regret and resent? Do you find it difficult to get over things and do you find that they affect the type of person you are today? Sometimes I will just be going along and then I'll find something that reminds me of something bad that happened to me or something someone said to me over 8 years ago. It's even more difficult when it has to do with family, one time in a confrontation with my parents I explained to them some of the reasons why I'm so bitter and angry towards them and they denied everything. I think anger is one of the hardest things to get over.
	__________________ Peace is a good thing and so is salmon when it's smoked

10-26-2006, 05:47 PM	#2
JuicyCoutureGirl L Hath No Fury Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 09, 2006 Location: Drinking Margaritas With The L Word Ladies at The Planet Posts: 782	The ways I try to get over anger is to just simply let it all out, talk to someone I trust. It is hard to let go, trust me. I'm holding on to something that happened 12 years ago, my mother was killed in a car accident when I was 14, a drunk driver totaled her freakin' car. The real kicker is my dad got re-married four months AFTER we buried her. I still carry my anger towards my father which resulted in him not seeing his granddaughter and meeting his daughter-in-law.
	__________________

10-26-2006, 06:16 PM	#3
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	Good Question. I carried a grudge and a lot of anger towards my ex-husband when I filed for divorce. His anger towards me for filing for divorce only fueled my temper and eventual hate for him. I realized after two years of carrying this heavy burden on my shoulders and in my heart, I had to let it go. I had to forgive him for hating me and move on. The weight that was lifted off my shoulders FELT SO GREAT. I felt like I could finally breathe. Eventually he felt the same way. Although he never stopped loving me, we became friends. We had to, we shared two daughters. And right before he passed away in May, we still were able to convey to each other our final goodbyes and any thoughts we had. I am glad for that.
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

10-26-2006, 06:22 PM	#4
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I've been having a hard time lately with regret. I always said I never regretted anything that I've ever done because I learned from it... but lately I just wish I could turn back time and do it all over. I guess I just need to accept it... that's all you can do.
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

10-26-2006, 06:53 PM	#7
DOPEY85xxx People really Suck! Frequent Poster Join Date: Jul 20, 2006 Location: United States Baby!! Posts: 340	There are alot of things I regret about my past. For years I use to punish myself about the what ifs , but then one day I woke up and realized you cannot beat yourself or others for things that use to be. I found that forgivness of others came easier than forgiving myself,so yes I regret hating myself and others for things that happened years ago. Forgivong yourself and others takes time but its possible.
	__________________ OOOOOh you're in trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is like a box of Chocolates Go Buccaneers !!!

10-26-2006, 09:08 PM	#11
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I don't. I'm still letting a bad job experience from 2004 eat at me. I still hate those people and will until I'm 90. I hold grudges FOREVER. And talking about it doesn't make it leave my head at all. It's not a good thing.

10-27-2006, 12:58 AM	#13
rusyd Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Mar 30, 2004 Posts: 13,505	Oh boy, I have so many feelings from the past that I can't or won't let go. I pray to God all the time about it. It would make my life a lot easier if I could just let all of it go.

10-27-2006, 02:07 PM	#15
TheGreatPretender just because Forum Veteran Join Date: May 22, 2004 Location: Trying to think of a creative, witty location. Posts: 7,628	For me it's weird, because it's little things that would sneak up on me. Such as not standing up for myself when i thought I should have as early as elementary school