I'm single again... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

*MIBabe03* · 10-20-2006, 04:45 PM

and it really sucks. People have no idea how hard it is for me to meet people. Most of the time when I meet a new person, I end up having an anxiety attack, and therefore have a rough time. I just feel like I'm going to end up being alone. People are going to tell me to get a hobby. Problem with that is that I'm a full time student, and I work also. Not to mention, I really hate doing activities. Another reason it's hard for me to meet people. I know most hate it when the person they are dating are homebodies, but that's just me. I'd rather stay at home, snuggle on the couch with a movie. I just feel really alone. I'm 21, almost 22. I don't drink, do drugs, or party at all. To most I'm pretty boring. Yeah, I'm probably going to be alone forever.

TJL · 10-20-2006, 05:29 PM

Don't get yourself down. Things will get better. And you will find someone who is compatible, just be patient.

Besides, i've been single most of my adult life, and I've turned out fine.

Man, sometimes i crack myself up.

Courtnee · 10-20-2006, 06:33 PM

Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. I know all about bad break-ups. You won't be alone forever. This experence will help you grow and mature as a woman. You'll get over him and become a better person.

If you ever need to talk, PM me or message me over myspace.

swedeace · 10-20-2006, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *MIBabe03*

and it really sucks. People have no idea how hard it is for me to meet people. Most of the time when I meet a new person, I end up having an anxiety attack, and therefore have a rough time. I just feel like I'm going to end up being alone. People are going to tell me to get a hobby. Problem with that is that I'm a full time student, and I work also. Not to mention, I really hate doing activities.

Aw, I'm sorry to hear about that. I know how you feel about it being really difficult to find someone. I have been single for a long time as well, and I keep banging my head against the wall over the frustration. I feel that I try, try, and do more trying. It seems that NO matter WHAT I do, there is always someone else who seems to be there on the right place, right time who takes my place as "the girl." This is especially when there is a guy I try to impress. You know...I smile, I talk to them, etc... and it just kills my heart. I am tired of people always saying, "Being alone will make you get to know yourself." Well, what about if it's a LONG time? I've been alone for MUCH too long that I am tired of it already. I don't want to become the cranky barren "old maid" woman with all her 50 cats. That's my fear. Sometimes it just never seems possible anymore. But, I'd hate to give up.

PZelda · 10-20-2006, 08:41 PM

A few things to keep in mind:

* Like you said, you are 21, turning 22 in five months. You have to remember that you are still young yet. This was your first real relationship, and first real relationships are always the hardest thing to get over. I know - I've been there before.

* There have been people on here that describe themselves as "homebodies" that have had luck in the relationship department. I remember Mijada thought of herself as a homebody, and so was the guy she dated, and ended up marrying. I can't remember when she got married, I think it was last fall? Pretty sure I remember her saying she was pregnant at the time she got married. Anyway, she was in her 30s. I really don't want you to get yourself so down about being a "homebody." You are making some excellent choices, and not all people our age realize they don't need to drink, do drugs, etc. to have fun.

* I went through a particularly nasty breakup with a boyfriend of mine- I was almost 14 and he was already 14 when it happened. It pretty much turned me off from dating for a loooooooooong time... How does 7 years sound to you? I didn't date at ALL in high school, even though I had guys on my tail. I was still in that frame of mind that all guys were scum, and some days I still think that, but it's definitely not like it used to be. Dating is a double-edged sword... It can be really awesome if you let it be, but it can kick your ass in the end. Courtnee said it well when she said that the breakup will make you a stronger person. I know you don't think this right now (and I sure didn't when I was going through that nasty breakup either), but believe me and her... It will. You have to give it time.

Most importantly of all, like Tara said, please don't be so hard on yourself. I'll say it again, you're still young yet. You WILL find someone again. Right now, I know you think you won't (we've all been there at one point or another), but you will. The most important thing you can do to yourself is give yourself time to get over the breakup. I just got back into the dating game earlier this year, after more than a half-decade of swearing off guys, and I'm havin' a great time. I'm just enjoying myself, having fun, etc. and see what I like in a guy before I decide I want to settle down permanently.

dawsongirl · 10-20-2006, 09:31 PM

K, all I have to say before I read the rest of the thread is:

What happened?! omg...seriously, this blows me away.

dawsongirl · 10-20-2006, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PZelda

* There have been people on here that describe themselves as "homebodies" that have had luck in the relationship department. I remember Mijada thought of herself as a homebody, and so was the guy she dated, and ended up marrying. I can't remember when she got married, I think it was last fall? Pretty sure I remember her saying she was pregnant at the time she got married. Anyway, she was in her 30s. I really don't want you to get yourself so down about being a "homebody." You are making some excellent choices, and not all people our age realize they don't need to drink, do drugs, etc. to have fun.

That is me too. Right now it's Friday night, and where have I been tonight? A craft show with my parents, and to a fabric store with my mom. And now I'm sitting here. I'll probably fall asleep within the hour. At 26, most people my age (the ones that aren't parents anyway) are probably out drinking the week away, or partying, or just out. And sometimes I kick myself (well, more than sometimes) for not being like that...not being "normal." But as much as I hate myself, I'm just not comfortable being out amongst the crowds at night doing things I hate doing. And if that impresses no one, then so be it. My mental health is awfully fragile most of the time, and so if I were to go out there and put up some facade, I'd be miserable. And then I'd most likely get laughed at or rejected, and then I'd feel 1000x worse. Rambling....but if you don't feel comfy going out, don't! Don't give yourself an anxiety attack just because society thinks that you HAVE to be married, or that the ONLY way to meet people is to do the bar scene. Bah on being like everyone else.

Believe it or not, there are shy guys out there, maybe some thinking the same thing you are. One day, one might walk into your work and you connect over something like ham. Sounds silly, but it could happen! Or maybe some guy you've talked to a little, or crossed paths with, one time you'll have a conversation and you just click, despite only really thinking of this guy as a random classmate, or a guy who comes in your store a lot. Never know. If it can happen to me, it could happen to anyone. And my boyfriend and I don't spend gobs of time going out. We occasionally get dinner, we went to a movie once, I've dragged him around shopping

, but he seems happy to stay in at night and play board games or watch TV. At least that's what he tells me.

You'll find that guy. I was 26 when mine came along, and since I still am 26, it hasn't been that long. 21 is just a baby...enjoy living for yourself.

TVFactFan · 10-20-2006, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *MIBabe03*

and it really sucks. People have no idea how hard it is for me to meet people. Most of the time when I meet a new person, I end up having an anxiety attack, and therefore have a rough time. I just feel like I'm going to end up being alone. People are going to tell me to get a hobby. Problem with that is that I'm a full time student, and I work also. Not to mention, I really hate doing activities. Another reason it's hard for me to meet people. I know most hate it when the person they are dating are homebodies, but that's just me. I'd rather stay at home, snuggle on the couch with a movie. I just feel really alone. I'm 21, almost 22. I don't drink, do drugs, or party at all. To most I'm pretty boring. Yeah, I'm probably going to be alone forever.

Love is OVERRATED-lol Do not let it get you down, i'm single and I feel not good, but GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

rusyd · 10-21-2006, 12:36 AM

I know how you feel. Being single is not all it's cracked up to be. Be good to yourself and take your time. I wish you all the best. Take care.

Brad Russ · 10-21-2006, 07:46 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about this Laura, I really am. Believe me, I'm someone who can really relate. I started dating my first girlfriend earlier this year, and although we had some good times, I was also more of a homebody, whereas she was more of a go getter. I think that, and the fact that we were over an hour apart distance wise, really put a strain on our relationship. Those things, as well as me not being where I should be in her life, and her being older, and looking to settle down, led to the demise of our relationship. Just remember one thing, and I'm sure others have told you this as well. Although you feel absolutely crushed right now, and feel like you'll never meet the right guy, he is out there, and you will find him someday. What you've been through is just a normal part of life that billions of people have been through, and thousands go through each day. Just be strong, keep the Faith, and know that you have alot to offer, and I think you'll be just fine. I wish you the very best during this difficult time. Hang in there my friend!!

TVFactFan · 10-21-2006, 10:30 AM

The Single Life is Underrated

Jonathan · 10-21-2006, 03:30 PM

So sorry Laura. That is so sad.

*MIBabe03* · 10-22-2006, 12:08 AM

I guess part of it isn't just that I'm single, but I literally have no friends either. So I don't have anybody to talk to, or hang out with. I'm just very alone and depressed.

rusyd · 10-22-2006, 01:18 AM

I know how you feel. I don't have friends and my famly is far away. Even though I have many people at work to talk to and my fiance now, it can be a lonely place when you feel you have noboby to relate to. Hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers.

Brent88 · 10-22-2006, 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TVResearcher

The Single Life is Underrated

It sure is.

Now if I can just get out of my parents house.

Best of luck anyway.

10-20-2006, 04:45 PM	#1
MIBabe03 Loving Swingtown! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 28, 2002 Location: TX Posts: 4,646	I'm single again... and it really sucks. People have no idea how hard it is for me to meet people. Most of the time when I meet a new person, I end up having an anxiety attack, and therefore have a rough time. I just feel like I'm going to end up being alone. People are going to tell me to get a hobby. Problem with that is that I'm a full time student, and I work also. Not to mention, I really hate doing activities. Another reason it's hard for me to meet people. I know most hate it when the person they are dating are homebodies, but that's just me. I'd rather stay at home, snuggle on the couch with a movie. I just feel really alone. I'm 21, almost 22. I don't drink, do drugs, or party at all. To most I'm pretty boring. Yeah, I'm probably going to be alone forever.
	__________________ Laura and Mario November 10, 2006

10-20-2006, 05:29 PM	#2
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Don't get yourself down. Things will get better. And you will find someone who is compatible, just be patient. Besides, i've been single most of my adult life, and I've turned out fine. Man, sometimes i crack myself up.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

10-20-2006, 06:33 PM	#3
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413	Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. I know all about bad break-ups. You won't be alone forever. This experence will help you grow and mature as a woman. You'll get over him and become a better person. If you ever need to talk, PM me or message me over myspace.
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

10-20-2006, 08:41 PM	#5
PZelda Two Valeries! <3 Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 15, 2002 Location: I'm STILL missing NYC. :( Posts: 78,223	A few things to keep in mind: * Like you said, you are 21, turning 22 in five months. You have to remember that you are still young yet. This was your first real relationship, and first real relationships are always the hardest thing to get over. I know - I've been there before. * There have been people on here that describe themselves as "homebodies" that have had luck in the relationship department. I remember Mijada thought of herself as a homebody, and so was the guy she dated, and ended up marrying. I can't remember when she got married, I think it was last fall? Pretty sure I remember her saying she was pregnant at the time she got married. Anyway, she was in her 30s. I really don't want you to get yourself so down about being a "homebody." You are making some excellent choices, and not all people our age realize they don't need to drink, do drugs, etc. to have fun. * I went through a particularly nasty breakup with a boyfriend of mine- I was almost 14 and he was already 14 when it happened. It pretty much turned me off from dating for a loooooooooong time... How does 7 years sound to you? I didn't date at ALL in high school, even though I had guys on my tail. I was still in that frame of mind that all guys were scum, and some days I still think that, but it's definitely not like it used to be. Dating is a double-edged sword... It can be really awesome if you let it be, but it can kick your ass in the end. Courtnee said it well when she said that the breakup will make you a stronger person. I know you don't think this right now (and I sure didn't when I was going through that nasty breakup either), but believe me and her... It will. You have to give it time. Most importantly of all, like Tara said, please don't be so hard on yourself. I'll say it again, you're still young yet. You WILL find someone again. Right now, I know you think you won't (we've all been there at one point or another), but you will. The most important thing you can do to yourself is give yourself time to get over the breakup. I just got back into the dating game earlier this year, after more than a half-decade of swearing off guys, and I'm havin' a great time. I'm just enjoying myself, having fun, etc. and see what I like in a guy before I decide I want to settle down permanently.
	__________________ Cheers behind the couch!

10-21-2006, 07:46 AM	#10
Brad Russ Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 17, 2002 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 10,085	I'm so sorry to hear about this Laura, I really am. Believe me, I'm someone who can really relate. I started dating my first girlfriend earlier this year, and although we had some good times, I was also more of a homebody, whereas she was more of a go getter. I think that, and the fact that we were over an hour apart distance wise, really put a strain on our relationship. Those things, as well as me not being where I should be in her life, and her being older, and looking to settle down, led to the demise of our relationship. Just remember one thing, and I'm sure others have told you this as well. Although you feel absolutely crushed right now, and feel like you'll never meet the right guy, he is out there, and you will find him someday. What you've been through is just a normal part of life that billions of people have been through, and thousands go through each day. Just be strong, keep the Faith, and know that you have alot to offer, and I think you'll be just fine. I wish you the very best during this difficult time. Hang in there my friend!!
	__________________ St. John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Currently my favorite song.

10-20-2006, 09:31 PM	#6
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	K, all I have to say before I read the rest of the thread is: What happened?! omg...seriously, this blows me away.

10-21-2006, 12:36 AM	#9
rusyd Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Mar 30, 2004 Posts: 13,505	I know how you feel. Being single is not all it's cracked up to be. Be good to yourself and take your time. I wish you all the best. Take care.

10-21-2006, 10:30 AM	#11
TVFactFan Member Forum Junkie Join Date: Aug 17, 2002 Posts: 99,117	The Single Life is Underrated

10-21-2006, 03:30 PM	#12
Jonathan ***** Senior Member** Join Date: Aug 28, 2004 Posts: 2,304	So sorry Laura. That is so sad.

10-22-2006, 12:08 AM	#13
MIBabe03 Loving Swingtown! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 28, 2002 Location: TX Posts: 4,646	I guess part of it isn't just that I'm single, but I literally have no friends either. So I don't have anybody to talk to, or hang out with. I'm just very alone and depressed.

10-22-2006, 01:18 AM	#14
rusyd Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Mar 30, 2004 Posts: 13,505	I know how you feel. I don't have friends and my famly is far away. Even though I have many people at work to talk to and my fiance now, it can be a lonely place when you feel you have noboby to relate to. Hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers.