HELP..I need your advice !!! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

10-29-2001, 12:15 PM

I have a boyfriend who means the world to me.
I am 27 and he is 31. He suffers from bi-polar OCD. OCD is a disease that destroys a person's decision making. For example when we go to the store it takes him a long time to pick up a jar peanut butter. He has to "think" about it. He will stand there for as long as a half-hour thinking "..would this brand be good or should I get Jif".

When we go out to eat, which is not all that often. It takes him a long time to chose what he wants on the menu. To make sure he orders the "right" thing" he'll go from table to table and ask the other customers and waitresses what he should order. Then as soon as we leave he would break down and cry.

He also has a big problem with celebrities. Everytime we watch tv he cries becuase he thinks his live is no good because Madonna has so much more than he has.

He calls himself trash because when he has trouble paying the bills he starts to think about N' Sync. "..I bet Joey has no trouble paying his bills. He is so lucky! All that fame amd money !!! He is sooo much better than I am ".

He takes medication for this and has gone to
many of hospitals and doctors and NONE of them made a difference.

He has even lost a few good jobs thanks to this disease. He was working at AT&T for awhile and did a good job. But one night somebody took a radio to work and he overheard the song " As long as you love me" by the Backstreet Boys. He started to obscess
and think about the band. Thinking about all the girls A.J. has slept with. How good looking they are and "ugly" he is. ( My boyfriend is very attractive but he wants people to tell him all the time- he goes to malls hoping that some strange will walk up and say..you are a fine looking man, if it doesnt happen he feels worthless).

In other words he puts the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Faith Hill, o-Town, even Cal Ripkin Jr. on the same level as many worship Jesus Christ. He really believes these young stars
are so perfect they can do no wrong while he is just garbage.

Every night he cries about this. Its hard for me to take. I love him very much. I have even thought about taking out the tv and radio at hime and in my car but while that may help at home it wont work if he leaves home. Go to any store and you will hear music.

I need your help. I love him and want to stand by him. But this is a very difficult situation.

JethroSimpson · 10-29-2001, 04:13 PM

I don't think anyone but you can make the decision!

Max Whittaker · 10-29-2001, 11:28 PM

That is quite a dilemma. I have never heard of that disease and don't know much about it beside what you said. I think you should just stand by him, and tell him HE is perfect just the way he is.

From your post, I'd say he is very lucky to have someone like you. Good luck.

Slippery Dan · 10-29-2001, 11:36 PM

This is a message board for TV shows and stuff. Please post your personal problems somewhere where people can actually help you. Like 90% of the people here are under 18.

Truth · 10-29-2001, 11:41 PM

and are you saying Teenagers arent smart?

Divisionbabe05 · 10-29-2001, 11:49 PM

This is the CHIT-CHAT board buddy...you can post anything you want here...its not all about tv shows. You can ask any question or talk bout anything you want on this board.

------------------
I am a Jineddy! A Jineddy is a person who wants Jinny and Teddy to be together! Morganne is a Jinanybody and a Carby, but thats ER...Dana just happens to be a JinMag, which is a lil strange, but o well...its interesting!

*Me, Morganne, and Dana are self appointed message board bad girls...we rebel against self appointed moderators...You know who you are!*

"Trust in my self rightious suicide, I cry when angels deserve to die" - System of a Down

"Hoe, but can I get a ride? No. C'mon n*i*g*g*a* why? Cuz youz a hoe, youz a hoe, youz a hoe, I said that youz a hoe" - Ludicris

Max Whittaker · 10-29-2001, 11:58 PM

This may be a dumb question but... Have you searched the net for web sites for that disease? I bet you have. But I had to try.

Bootsy Whoosh · 10-30-2001, 12:40 AM

If you truely love him (and if he loves you, of course), I would say to stand by him. Don't give up on doctors! Just because the ones you've gone to so far can't help, doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who can't. Like Max said, scour the internet, read books, etc. etc. Maybe you'll get the name of a doctor who is good in this area!

Don't give up hope! Best of luck to you and your man!

DarleneIllyria · 10-30-2001, 05:17 PM

I would stay with him. Everytime he starts to feel that way, just tell him how much you love him. All those celebs don't mean a thing, because I'm sure they act differently out in public then they do in real life. You explain to him that you love him for being him- not him being JC.

------------------
Hottest Men alive:
Dale Midkiff
Anthony Starke
Tim McGraw
Jonathan Crombie

Lumpy: Did you go out for anything, Dud?

Dudley: Well, I went out for football, but I got my finger stepped on, so my mother made me quit.

Eddie: Well listen-- I went out for basketball and I got my hair pulled, and my mother made ME quit.

Dudley: It's not that I was afraid of getting hurt or anything; it's just that-- well, it's kind o' hard to play the flute with a busted finger.

[Eddie and Lumpy suppress laughter]

Dale Midkiff is my man!

Class of 2002!

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 10-30-2001, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Divisionbabe05:
This is the CHIT-CHAT board buddy...you can post anything you want here...its not all about tv shows. You can ask any question or talk bout anything you want on this board.

LoL. (Sounds like sumthin Jinny would say...sorry...that was sooo OT)

------------------
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*Amy*~
CookieCupcake24@aol.com
AIM- MacNCheeze565
SFPDInspectorCD

"Oh please, folks, don't be shy! Apparantly anyone is welcome to crap all over me tonight,so step right on up!"~ Jinny Exstead.

"I give people chances who earn them...except insurance guys."~ C.D. DeLorenzo.

Rose~ It's a letter from St. Olaf. It's from the Department of Water and Coffee.
Blanche~ Coffee?
Rose~ No thanks. It makes me jumpy.

Sophia~ My butt fell asleep and you know what? I'm kinda getting into it.
*************************

Polka Dots turn me on!!! YEAH!!! HaHaHaHa!

DON'T CALL ME EASY MAC!

http://www.nancymckeon-division.cityslide.com

vienna waits · 10-30-2001, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Slippery Dan:
This is a message board for TV shows and stuff. Please post your personal problems somewhere where people can actually help you. Like 90% of the people here are under 18.

Well first of all this is a chit chat board like Divisionbabe05 said but what do you classfy as "stuff". You said its for tv shows and "stuff". I think that could fit under "stuff".

bb · 10-30-2001, 07:20 PM

Had Teenie Weenie posted this on say the "Cheers" section, that wouldnt fit. But here under "chit-chat", I dont see anything wrong with it. OCD affects not only adults but many teenagers too. In fact on the tv show "Talk & Walk" just this week featured a
14 year old girl who obsessed about being clean to the point she wouldnt go near her own Mother because she felt her Aunt was "dirty" and since she is her mother's sister then mom must be "dirty" too. It IS a serious problem !!

My roommate who is my best friend as well suffers from OCD and he too is bipolar.
He is 25 and he too thanks to his illness sometimes gets very jealous over movie/tv/rock stars. In his case its the money end.

He thinks he is worthless because he doesnt make $100,000 a year like "..other 25 year olds ".
Yes I do know that not all 25 year old males ( or females ) make that kind of money. In fact I dont know of any. But his illness wont allow him to believe otherwise.

According to Teenie Weenie it didnt work but in my case censorship DID/ still does bring piece in our household. When my roomate is home I have MTV, VH-1, E, CMT, and many other channels blocked off . Dish Network has a program on their system where you can do this very easliy. We watch mostly the Discovery Channels, Disney, TV Land, Nick, Pax, Game Shows. and TCM.

A lot of this idea came from his doctors. I like watching E and VH-1 too but he cant handle it again because of his OCD. Once the 2 of us was watching one of the music channels and they featured an interview with the members of Backstreet Boys. Talking about all the sex they have and how much money they had in their bank accounts, lighting up their cigars with $100 bills.
My roommate was so upset ( he felt like he was pure garbage ) that he really wanted to kill himself. He cried and cried . At that point I took him to the hospital. He is fine now but because of his OCD I have to be more than roommate. I have to watch and monitor what he does sees on tv and listens to the radio. Do I enjoy doing this? No Way !!! But if it helps him out then censor I must.

To Teenie Weenie go to the doctors with him.
Go to the meetings and join a local OCD support group. It could very well make a world of difference.

DJM77 · 10-30-2001, 10:20 PM

I can kind of relate to this subject because when I was 11 years old I was diagnosed as having OCD and Chronic Depression. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain and I still struggle with it today at age 24. However mine is not bipolar so I don't have the same symptons that your boyfriend does. Teenie Weenie, I think Jethro Simpson was right about this. Only you can make the decision. The only advice that I can think of is that if it gets to difficult and you do decide to break up with him than you should still remain friends with him and maybe you can help him make new friends. He obviously needs all the help and support that he can get.

Kitt · 11-03-2001, 11:20 AM

This problem sounds too big for you to take on without proffesional help. You'll be forever frustrated, I think, if you don't at least seek that. I read the following in a book about writing. It could be applied to your boyfriends troubles as well as anyones over indulgence with envy.

"Make a short list of those authors whose work seems magical to you. Then looking over the list tell yourself how dispicably unfair it is that these people are inventive, so morally lively, so lithe of phrase. The whole world is unfair and always has been, tell yourself aloud. Next, having said all that (for you are right: it is unfair), don't ever pine to be like those writers again. Only do your work. If you find yourself pining, have the list out again. Scold the world for it's unfairness again and then drop it again. It is hard to describe oneself as someone of lesser gift, but it is invaluable to do so for about one split second only."

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

10-29-2001, 12:15 PM	#1
teenie weenie Guest Posts: n/a	HELP..I need your advice !!! I have a boyfriend who means the world to me. I am 27 and he is 31. He suffers from bi-polar OCD. OCD is a disease that destroys a person's decision making. For example when we go to the store it takes him a long time to pick up a jar peanut butter. He has to "think" about it. He will stand there for as long as a half-hour thinking "..would this brand be good or should I get Jif". When we go out to eat, which is not all that often. It takes him a long time to chose what he wants on the menu. To make sure he orders the "right" thing" he'll go from table to table and ask the other customers and waitresses what he should order. Then as soon as we leave he would break down and cry. He also has a big problem with celebrities. Everytime we watch tv he cries becuase he thinks his live is no good because Madonna has so much more than he has. He calls himself trash because when he has trouble paying the bills he starts to think about N' Sync. "..I bet Joey has no trouble paying his bills. He is so lucky! All that fame amd money !!! He is sooo much better than I am ". He takes medication for this and has gone to many of hospitals and doctors and NONE of them made a difference. He has even lost a few good jobs thanks to this disease. He was working at AT&T for awhile and did a good job. But one night somebody took a radio to work and he overheard the song " As long as you love me" by the Backstreet Boys. He started to obscess and think about the band. Thinking about all the girls A.J. has slept with. How good looking they are and "ugly" he is. ( My boyfriend is very attractive but he wants people to tell him all the time- he goes to malls hoping that some strange will walk up and say..you are a fine looking man, if it doesnt happen he feels worthless). In other words he puts the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Faith Hill, o-Town, even Cal Ripkin Jr. on the same level as many worship Jesus Christ. He really believes these young stars are so perfect they can do no wrong while he is just garbage. Every night he cries about this. Its hard for me to take. I love him very much. I have even thought about taking out the tv and radio at hime and in my car but while that may help at home it wont work if he leaves home. Go to any store and you will hear music. I need your help. I love him and want to stand by him. But this is a very difficult situation.
teenie weenie Guest Posts: n/a

10-29-2001, 04:13 PM	#2
JethroSimpson Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 01, 2001 Location: England,UK Posts: 1,080	I don't think anyone but you can make the decision!

10-29-2001, 11:28 PM	#3
Max Whittaker I want Serenity back Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 30, 2001 Posts: 6,180	That is quite a dilemma. I have never heard of that disease and don't know much about it beside what you said. I think you should just stand by him, and tell him HE is perfect just the way he is. From your post, I'd say he is very lucky to have someone like you. Good luck.

10-29-2001, 11:36 PM	#4
Slippery Dan His Majesty Frequent Poster Join Date: Mar 12, 2001 Location: Philadelphia, PA Posts: 262	This is a message board for TV shows and stuff. Please post your personal problems somewhere where people can actually help you. Like 90% of the people here are under 18.

10-29-2001, 11:41 PM	#5
Truth •°·Alien Believer·°• Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 15, 2001 Posts: 3,463	and are you saying Teenagers arent smart?

10-29-2001, 11:49 PM	#6
Divisionbabe05 GO HOGS!!!! Senior Member Join Date: Aug 04, 2001 Location: Arkansas-Hog Country-WOOOOO PIG SOOIE RAZORBACKS!!! Posts: 1,065	This is the CHIT-CHAT board buddy...you can post anything you want here...its not all about tv shows. You can ask any question or talk bout anything you want on this board. ------------------ I am a Jineddy! A Jineddy is a person who wants Jinny and Teddy to be together! Morganne is a Jinanybody and a Carby, but thats ER...Dana just happens to be a JinMag, which is a lil strange, but o well...its interesting! Me, Morganne, and Dana are self appointed message board bad girls...we rebel against self appointed moderators...You know who you are! "Trust in my self rightious suicide, I cry when angels deserve to die" - System of a Down "Hoe, but can I get a ride? No. C'mon nigga* why? Cuz youz a hoe, youz a hoe, youz a hoe, I said that youz a hoe" - Ludicris

10-29-2001, 11:58 PM	#7
Max Whittaker I want Serenity back Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 30, 2001 Posts: 6,180	This may be a dumb question but... Have you searched the net for web sites for that disease? I bet you have. But I had to try.

10-30-2001, 12:40 AM	#8
Bootsy Whoosh Storms abrewin'... Senior Member Join Date: May 16, 2001 Location: The Alpha Quadrant, Sector 001 Posts: 2,104	If you truely love him (and if he loves you, of course), I would say to stand by him. Don't give up on doctors! Just because the ones you've gone to so far can't help, doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who can't. Like Max said, scour the internet, read books, etc. etc. Maybe you'll get the name of a doctor who is good in this area! Don't give up hope! Best of luck to you and your man!

10-30-2001, 05:17 PM	#9
DarleneIllyria Gone Forum Star Join Date: Oct 15, 2000 Posts: 19,086	I would stay with him. Everytime he starts to feel that way, just tell him how much you love him. All those celebs don't mean a thing, because I'm sure they act differently out in public then they do in real life. You explain to him that you love him for being him- not him being JC. ------------------ Hottest Men alive: Dale Midkiff Anthony Starke Tim McGraw Jonathan Crombie Lumpy: Did you go out for anything, Dud? Dudley: Well, I went out for football, but I got my finger stepped on, so my mother made me quit. Eddie: Well listen-- I went out for basketball and I got my hair pulled, and my mother made ME quit. Dudley: It's not that I was afraid of getting hurt or anything; it's just that-- well, it's kind o' hard to play the flute with a busted finger. [Eddie and Lumpy suppress laughter] Dale Midkiff is my man! Class of 2002!

10-30-2001, 07:20 PM	#12
bb Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Sep 30, 2001 Location: Martinsburg, WV usa Posts: 276	Had Teenie Weenie posted this on say the "Cheers" section, that wouldnt fit. But here under "chit-chat", I dont see anything wrong with it. OCD affects not only adults but many teenagers too. In fact on the tv show "Talk & Walk" just this week featured a 14 year old girl who obsessed about being clean to the point she wouldnt go near her own Mother because she felt her Aunt was "dirty" and since she is her mother's sister then mom must be "dirty" too. It IS a serious problem !! My roommate who is my best friend as well suffers from OCD and he too is bipolar. He is 25 and he too thanks to his illness sometimes gets very jealous over movie/tv/rock stars. In his case its the money end. He thinks he is worthless because he doesnt make $100,000 a year like "..other 25 year olds ". Yes I do know that not all 25 year old males ( or females ) make that kind of money. In fact I dont know of any. But his illness wont allow him to believe otherwise. According to Teenie Weenie it didnt work but in my case censorship DID/ still does bring piece in our household. When my roomate is home I have MTV, VH-1, E, CMT, and many other channels blocked off . Dish Network has a program on their system where you can do this very easliy. We watch mostly the Discovery Channels, Disney, TV Land, Nick, Pax, Game Shows. and TCM. A lot of this idea came from his doctors. I like watching E and VH-1 too but he cant handle it again because of his OCD. Once the 2 of us was watching one of the music channels and they featured an interview with the members of Backstreet Boys. Talking about all the sex they have and how much money they had in their bank accounts, lighting up their cigars with $100 bills. My roommate was so upset ( he felt like he was pure garbage ) that he really wanted to kill himself. He cried and cried . At that point I took him to the hospital. He is fine now but because of his OCD I have to be more than roommate. I have to watch and monitor what he does sees on tv and listens to the radio. Do I enjoy doing this? No Way !!! But if it helps him out then censor I must. To Teenie Weenie go to the doctors with him. Go to the meetings and join a local OCD support group. It could very well make a world of difference.

10-30-2001, 10:20 PM	#13
DJM77 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: May 15, 2001 Location: Missouri Posts: 5,566	I can kind of relate to this subject because when I was 11 years old I was diagnosed as having OCD and Chronic Depression. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain and I still struggle with it today at age 24. However mine is not bipolar so I don't have the same symptons that your boyfriend does. Teenie Weenie, I think Jethro Simpson was right about this. Only you can make the decision. The only advice that I can think of is that if it gets to difficult and you do decide to break up with him than you should still remain friends with him and maybe you can help him make new friends. He obviously needs all the help and support that he can get.

11-03-2001, 11:20 AM	#14
Kitt James Dean Forum Veteran Join Date: Aug 16, 2001 Location: California Dreamin' Posts: 6,115	This problem sounds too big for you to take on without proffesional help. You'll be forever frustrated, I think, if you don't at least seek that. I read the following in a book about writing. It could be applied to your boyfriends troubles as well as anyones over indulgence with envy. "Make a short list of those authors whose work seems magical to you. Then looking over the list tell yourself how dispicably unfair it is that these people are inventive, so morally lively, so lithe of phrase. The whole world is unfair and always has been, tell yourself aloud. Next, having said all that (for you are right: it is unfair), don't ever pine to be like those writers again. Only do your work. If you find yourself pining, have the list out again. Scold the world for it's unfairness again and then drop it again. It is hard to describe oneself as someone of lesser gift, but it is invaluable to do so for about one split second only." Good luck with whatever you decide to do.