Famous, stupid, inspirational, funny quotes by well-known people... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ireneparalegal · 10-10-2006, 08:07 PM

VH1 currently has a show of 40 dumbest celebrity quotes. I thought it would be fun to post all kinds of quotes that you like or dislike, whether it's stupid, funny, inspirational, etc. It doesn't have to be celebrities mind you. I will post here what I found on VH1's list of dumbest quotes:

Jessica Simpson - "Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says Chicken, by the Sea"

Tara Reid - "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist" (She meant ROCKET scientist)

Kimberly Stewart - (on Jennifer Aniston) "I like her cuz she's like, homely. She must have something else going on cuz it's not like she's gorgeous or anything."

Alicia Silverstone - "I think that the film "Clueless" was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

George Bush - "Too many obgyn's aren't able to practice their love with women across this country."

Britney Spears - "I get to go overseas places, like Canada"

Christina Aguilera - "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"

Dan Quayle - "I love California. I grew up in Phoenix."

David Hasselfhoff - "I find it a bid sad that there is no photo of me at the museum at Checkpoint Charlie."

R.Kelly - "All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through."

Brooke Shields - "Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

80sTrivia · 10-10-2006, 08:29 PM

Out of the mouths of goofballs!!!

Ireneparalegal · 10-11-2006, 12:02 PM

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough." - Albert Einstein

"I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." - Marilyn Monroe

"Those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands, those of you in the
more expensive ones rattle your jewelry." - John Lennon

"Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun." - Mao Tse Tung

"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

James"Thunder"Early · 10-11-2006, 12:13 PM

Lea Salonga: "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, just shut the **** up."

Ireneparalegal · 10-11-2006, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James"Thunder"Early

Lea Salonga: "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, just shut the **** up."

Bobby F. · 10-11-2006, 01:03 PM

"I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it."
- John Kerry

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms Lewinsky."
- Bill Clinton

sweetdiggity · 10-11-2006, 02:03 PM

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' - George Bush

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

- George Bush

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George Bush

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey

"Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean." - Baseball Player Pedro Guerrero on reporters.

"My urine? Describe my urine in five words? I don't think I can do it in five. Oh --- my year!" - Eva Longoria, when asked to describe her year in five words, she heard urine in five words.

"I need more sex, okay? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world." - Angelina Jolie

"You can expect Bobby to be Bobby. If Bobby ain't Bobby, Bobby just can't be Bobby." - Bobby Brown

“The best activities for your health are pumping and humping." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Bobby F. · 10-11-2006, 03:20 PM

"We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." -- Bill Maher, Politically Incorrect

"The Israelis know that if the Iraqi or Iranian army came across the Jordan River, I would personally grab a rifle, get in a ditch and fight and die." -- Bill Clinton at a Jewish fundraiser in Toronto this summer.

"My daughter, who goes to Stuyvesant High School only blocks from the World Trade Center, thinks we should fly an American flag out our window. Definitely not, I say: The flag stands for jingoism and vengeance and war." -- Katha Pollitt, The Nation, October 8

"While the rest of the country waves the flag of Americana, we understand we are not part of that. We don't owe America anything - America owes us." -- Al Sharpton at the "State of the Black World Conference" in Atlanta

Ireneparalegal · 10-11-2006, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetdiggity

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' - George Bush

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

- George Bush

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George Bush

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey

"Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean." - Baseball Player Pedro Guerrero on reporters.

"My urine? Describe my urine in five words? I don't think I can do it in five. Oh --- my year!" - Eva Longoria, when asked to describe her year in five words, she heard urine in five words.

"I need more sex, okay? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world." - Angelina Jolie

"You can expect Bobby to be Bobby. If Bobby ain't Bobby, Bobby just can't be Bobby." - Bobby Brown

“The best activities for your health are pumping and humping." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Good ones!!!!!! Love that Eva Longoria quote. Dumb broad. Add her to my J-HO hit list.

jie3 · 10-11-2006, 04:52 PM

A poem composed entirely of Bushisms titled "Make the Pie Higher" has become popular on the net. Each line contains some sort of grammatical error, logical error, or unusual usage uttered by George W. Bush.

Here it is:

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

J

Sharop · 10-11-2006, 05:26 PM

"He could play a few chords on a keyboard and inspire a whole song. I don't think anyone could play a few notes as magically as Maurice could. Maurice is a part of the history of the Bee Gees, so the music will always have Maurice in it. We've lost Maurice, but we'll never lose his inspiration." - Robin Gibb

"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me', you just scream." - John Lennon

"Newspaper people have a habit of putting you in the front pages to sell their papers, and then after they've sold their papers and got big circulations, they say, 'Look at what we've done for you.'" - John Lennon

"I'd never try to be that distinctive from the Bee Gees' sound. I'm very proud of being a Bee Gee and am always aware that I'll be identified as a Bee Gee." - Robin Gibb

"Crikey, mate. You're far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building." - Steve Irwin

theshark8777 · 10-11-2006, 06:29 PM

Some men see things as they are and ask 'Why?' I dream things that never were and ask, 'Why not?'" Robert F. Kennedy, 1968

Bobby F. · 10-11-2006, 08:06 PM

"We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."
- Hillary Clinton

Bobby F. · 10-11-2006, 08:54 PM

"There are white n*****s. I've seen a lot of white n*****s in my time. I'm going to use that word."
- Sen. Robert Byrd (D) - 2001

"Senator Kennedy killed that girl the same as if he put a gun to her head
and pulled the trigger"
- George Killen ~ State Police Detective-Lieutenant

Ohio8 · 10-11-2006, 11:01 PM

Will Rogers: "I can tell you how to end war....Take the profit motive out of it... But it'll never happen. What's a few thousand dead compared to a paying customer?"

Jimi Hendrix: "Technically, I'm not a guitar player. All I play is truth and emotion."

Mark Twain: "There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies and statistics."

10-10-2006, 08:07 PM	#1
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	Famous, stupid, inspirational, funny quotes by well-known people... VH1 currently has a show of 40 dumbest celebrity quotes. I thought it would be fun to post all kinds of quotes that you like or dislike, whether it's stupid, funny, inspirational, etc. It doesn't have to be celebrities mind you. I will post here what I found on VH1's list of dumbest quotes: Jessica Simpson - "Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says Chicken, by the Sea" Tara Reid - "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist" (She meant ROCKET scientist) Kimberly Stewart - (on Jennifer Aniston) "I like her cuz she's like, homely. She must have something else going on cuz it's not like she's gorgeous or anything." Alicia Silverstone - "I think that the film "Clueless" was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." George Bush - "Too many obgyn's aren't able to practice their love with women across this country." Britney Spears - "I get to go overseas places, like Canada" Christina Aguilera - "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" Dan Quayle - "I love California. I grew up in Phoenix." David Hasselfhoff - "I find it a bid sad that there is no photo of me at the museum at Checkpoint Charlie." R.Kelly - "All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through." Brooke Shields - "Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

10-10-2006, 08:29 PM	#2
80sTrivia Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 23, 2002 Posts: 21,714	Out of the mouths of goofballs!!!
	__________________ Perfect Gift Books for Pop Culture Fanatics: Thank You for Being a Friend: A Golden Girls Trivia Book The Bouquet Residence: A Keeping Up Appearances Trivia Book Cooking With the Golden Girls: Fun & Delicious Recipes from a Hilarious Miami Kitchen Love in the Afternoon: The Ultimate Soap Opera Trivia Book The Last Great Decade: The Ultimate 90s Trivia Book Betty White: A Celebration

10-11-2006, 12:13 PM	#4
James"Thunder"Early Whoever's In New England Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 23, 2004 Location: The Apollo Posts: 7,088	Lea Salonga: "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, just shut the **** up."
	__________________ Esther Anderson: Get thee behind me, Satan, but I'm gon' get behind you, 'cause I'm gonna put my foot in your--- Peggy Mitchell: Get outta my pub! You better pray you get the last laugh, it's a kick in the teeth when you don't get it.

10-11-2006, 02:03 PM	#7
sweetdiggity King of comedy!!! Senior Member Join Date: Oct 08, 2005 Location: L.R.G. Headquarters Posts: 2,258	"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' - George Bush "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." - George Bush "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George Bush "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean." - Baseball Player Pedro Guerrero on reporters. "My urine? Describe my urine in five words? I don't think I can do it in five. Oh --- my year!" - Eva Longoria, when asked to describe her year in five words, she heard urine in five words. "I need more sex, okay? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world." - Angelina Jolie "You can expect Bobby to be Bobby. If Bobby ain't Bobby, Bobby just can't be Bobby." - Bobby Brown “The best activities for your health are pumping and humping." - Arnold Schwarzenegger "Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?" - Paris Hilton
	__________________ Leah Remini Guard Forum "I want to and love to bitch... that's just me okay?" - Leah Remini

10-11-2006, 04:52 PM	#10
jie3 Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 13, 2005 Location: HOME OF THE BRAVE! Posts: 1,057	MAKE THE PIE HIGHER - Bushisms A poem composed entirely of Bushisms titled "Make the Pie Higher" has become popular on the net. Each line contains some sort of grammatical error, logical error, or unusual usage uttered by George W. Bush. Here it is: MAKE THE PIE HIGHER by George W. Bush I think we all agree, the past is over. This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses. Rarely is the question asked Is our children learning? Will the highways of the Internet become more few? How many hands have I shaked? They misunderestimate me. I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity. I know that the human being and the fish can coexist. Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream. Put food on your family! Knock down the tollbooth! Vulcanize society! Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher! J
	__________________ Savor the fruits of life, but don't leave me with the indigestion! Bring Home The Troops Trade List: http://www.freewebs.com/jie3-tvtrader/ Best trade site ever! http://www.savageamusement.com

10-11-2006, 12:02 PM	#3
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough." - Albert Einstein "I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." - Marilyn Monroe "Those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands, those of you in the more expensive ones rattle your jewelry." - John Lennon "Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun." - Mao Tse Tung "Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

10-11-2006, 01:03 PM	#6
Bobby F. Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 30, 2004 Posts: 3,818	"I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it." - John Kerry "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms Lewinsky." - Bill Clinton

10-11-2006, 03:20 PM	#8
Bobby F. Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 30, 2004 Posts: 3,818	"We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." -- Bill Maher, Politically Incorrect "The Israelis know that if the Iraqi or Iranian army came across the Jordan River, I would personally grab a rifle, get in a ditch and fight and die." -- Bill Clinton at a Jewish fundraiser in Toronto this summer. "My daughter, who goes to Stuyvesant High School only blocks from the World Trade Center, thinks we should fly an American flag out our window. Definitely not, I say: The flag stands for jingoism and vengeance and war." -- Katha Pollitt, The Nation, October 8 "While the rest of the country waves the flag of Americana, we understand we are not part of that. We don't owe America anything - America owes us." -- Al Sharpton at the "State of the Black World Conference" in Atlanta

10-11-2006, 05:26 PM	#11
Sharop Andy Gibb aged 12 Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 03, 2004 Location: Courthouse Square, Hill Valley, beside the clocktower, 10:04 p.m., November 12th 1955 Posts: 3,912	"He could play a few chords on a keyboard and inspire a whole song. I don't think anyone could play a few notes as magically as Maurice could. Maurice is a part of the history of the Bee Gees, so the music will always have Maurice in it. We've lost Maurice, but we'll never lose his inspiration." - Robin Gibb "When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me', you just scream." - John Lennon "Newspaper people have a habit of putting you in the front pages to sell their papers, and then after they've sold their papers and got big circulations, they say, 'Look at what we've done for you.'" - John Lennon "I'd never try to be that distinctive from the Bee Gees' sound. I'm very proud of being a Bee Gee and am always aware that I'll be identified as a Bee Gee." - Robin Gibb "Crikey, mate. You're far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building." - Steve Irwin
	__________________ http://rainbowlight.proboards102.com My new astral projection forums Doc: Don't worry! As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles per hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower, everything will be fine!

10-11-2006, 06:29 PM	#12
theshark8777 Hats for Bats Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 23, 2001 Location: northeast Ohio. Posts: 5,315	Some men see things as they are and ask 'Why?' I dream things that never were and ask, 'Why not?'" Robert F. Kennedy, 1968
	__________________ Who ate all the pecan Sandies??

10-11-2006, 08:06 PM	#13
Bobby F. Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 30, 2004 Posts: 3,818	"We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." - Hillary Clinton

10-11-2006, 08:54 PM	#14
Bobby F. Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 30, 2004 Posts: 3,818	"There are white n***s. I've seen a lot of white n***s in my time. I'm going to use that word." - Sen. Robert Byrd (D) - 2001 "Senator Kennedy killed that girl the same as if he put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger" - George Killen ~ State Police Detective-Lieutenant

10-11-2006, 11:01 PM	#15
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,966	Will Rogers: "I can tell you how to end war....Take the profit motive out of it... But it'll never happen. What's a few thousand dead compared to a paying customer?" Jimi Hendrix: "Technically, I'm not a guitar player. All I play is truth and emotion." Mark Twain: "There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies and statistics."