Favorite Quotes...

[mimi75042]

Here are some of my favorite quote's from this tv show..

Max: She bought that? She is so easy.
Kyle: I know! Damn.

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Kyle: I love the way Hitchcock builds suspense. You never see it coming. (Stares at Max) Never.
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Kyle: Max, why do we keep going at each other like this?
Max: It's some sort of twisted compulsion. You know, you're like a carton of month-old milk. You know it's bad, but you just have to smell it.
Kyle: I know what you mean. You're like a wart.
Max: How so?
Kyle: You're ugly.
Max: You know, your wit is devastating.
Kyle: You know what's really going on here. Is it possible that perhaps underneath all the layers of contempt and animosity and bitterness that we feel for each other that there lies some small bit of respect? Perhaps even--dare I say it--some affection? (Max seems to ponder this) Gotcha!

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Khadijah: I know I haven't exactly been myself lately, but I'm back.
Regine: Well, woo-hoo! Khadijah's back, y'all. Let's break out the good china.

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Khadijah: What's up? I can't talk. I gotta change. Alonzo's waiting for me in the car.
Max: Well, I'm caught up. How ‘bout you?
Regine: I felt like I was there

[mimi75042]

(Cut back and forth between Kyle talking to Overton and Max talking to Khadijah)
Kyle: Last night, I did something...
Max: For which I may never be able to forgive myself.
Kyle: It was the unthinkable.
Max: The unspeakable.
Kyle: The most horrible.
Max: Most heinous.
Kyle: The most repulsive...
Khadijah: You slept with Kyle?!
Khadijah: You hate Kyle. I can't believe you even let him touch you.
Max: We used a condom.

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Kyle: Maxine, why are you so threatened by my manhood? Don't you have enough of your own?

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Overton: This is ridiculous. We're talking about a couple's destiny. We can't just trivialize it like this. Let's put some money on it.

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Synclaire: Do you think Max and Kyle will change?
Regine: Duh! Of course they will. Everybody does. Look at her.
Khadijah: I haven't changed! Have I, Scootie-Pootie?
Scooter: It's all good, baby.
Synclaire: Oh, get a room!

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Synclaire: Alright. What do you think? Maxine Barker. Maxine Shaw hyphen Barker. Maxine Barker hyphen Shaw?
Khadijah: Be for real. If they hook up, his name is gonna be Kyle Shaw.

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Kyle: We've never really gotten along. Right from the start, remember ?You were bringing that box into the house.
Max: Mmm-hmm. You asked me if I needed help...
Kyle: And you said, "Drop dead. I can carry my own box..."
Kyle and Max: "You scrawny, buckethead grunt."
Max: You remembered.
Kyle: My memory is one of my greatest assets. I believe you've become acquainted with the other.

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Khadijah: Regine, will you relax? Max and Kyle are not getting together. They have spent too many years dissing each other. They don't know anything else.
Overton: They know how to wear out a good recliner.

[mimi75042]

Max: Kyle, if you speak one word of this, I will kill you, bury you and salt the earth so that nothing can grow there again.
Kyle: You don't have to worry. I do not brag about charity work.

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Synclaire: I just feel bad for Overton that he's dating such a phony-baloney. Like those curls are natural! And did you see that hat? Who is she, Mary Poppins? Come on, now.
Regine: Ooh. Somebody had a little Meow Mix this morning.

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Synclaire: If they start dating, maybe she wouldn't be down here so much.
Regine: Please. Who are you fooling, huh? In no time, this place is gonna be crawling with freeloading, dreadlock-having, crumb-snatching little Barker-Shaws.

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Max: A bunch of people dressed like idiots go door to door asking for handouts. What is that?
Regine: You on any given day

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Kyle: I am nothing without my first cup of coffee.
Max: Yeah, well, you're nothing with it.
Kyle: Max, Max. Perhaps you should go as...a lady this Halloween

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Max: I could have told you from the beginning that it was not a match.
Regine: Aw, shut up. You say that about every man I date.
Khadijah: ‘Cause it's true. Look, it's not gonna be easy for you to find “the one.” You a snob from the projects. That's rare.

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Kyle: "People, my research has proven what I have suspected all along--I am descended from greatness."
Max: "Oh, come on, Kyle. All test tubes are the same."
Kyle: "I will have you know that my great-great-grandfather, Elijah Barker, invented a device that helped to usher in the modern age. I give to you, the sipping straw, better known as Elijah's hollow drinking dowel."
Max: "So what you're saying is, your family has sucked for generations."

[mimi75042]

Khadijah: Max, you're holding onto Kyle. You two been drinking again?

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Max: When I saw that gun swing in my face, it came to me in a flash. You never know how much time you have left on this earth. Kyle! What can I get for you? What can I buy for you? What can I do for you?
Overton: Well, all right, then!

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Max: All right, Kyle! I don't know who you think you are, but I did not spend all day cooking, cleaning and hanging pictures for the first time so that you could cancel on me at the last minute.
Kyle: But, see...
Max: But nothing! I've had enough of this humility crap. You saved my life, and there is such a thing as being gracious.
Kyle: Max...
Max: Max my ass! I've got a roast that's ready, a salad that's going to wilt, and candles I plan to light. So you are coming to my house, I'm gonna stuff food down your throat and you will feel thanked! Is that clear?
Overton: Max, you seem to have a lot of energy. Could you help us with this box?
Kyle (After Max yells at him):Yeah right. Like I'm scared of her. Like she's gonna tell me what to do. Tch. Please…I'm going.

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Max: When you called and cancelled, I was upset. Like I'd been stood up by a real date.
Kyle: Well, uh, this kind of feels like a real date.
Max: Yeah. Truth be told, I've been developing a sort of sick curiosity about you.
Kyle: Well, uh, I must admit to a certain perverse fascination with your inner workings.
Max: Is this really gonna happen?
(Kyle looks her in the eye and takes her hand.)
Kyle: It's been happening.
(Pulls her to him and kisses her.)
Kyle: You know, Max, you could get addicted.
Max: Please, you may never leave.

[mimi75042]

Max: Admit it. You imported that chocolate cake to make me jealous.
Kyle: I will neither confirm or deny that, but the fact that you are green with jealousy does make me kinda giddy.
Max: I am not jealous. It just burns me the freak up to see you with that woman.
(Kyle sidles up to her.)
Kyle: Now Maxine, you say that again and listen to yourself. Admit it. You like me.
Max: Not as much as you like yourself.
Kyle: Well, that's a start.
Max: Oh Kyle, I mean...what good would it do to admit such a thing?
Kyle: Because then I wouldn't see you as the troll under the bridge of truth, but more like the brave billy goat walking across it. Come on, Max. (Kisses her shoulder.) Unburden your soul. Rowrrgh!
(Max spins away from him.)
Max: All right. Shut up. (all in one breath) All this...years of on-again off-again and sneaking around you've grown on me and in some ways--a lot of ways--you're my equal and although I'm not entirely comfortable with that that's just who I am. There! I said it!
Kyle: And that was quite an admission. I just wish I knew what it meant.
Max: Aw hell, man. I like you.
(Kisses him on cheek and crosses room.)
Kyle: Yes! Yes! Yes!
(Does victory dance, then composes himself and follows Max.)
Kyle: Maxine, now was that so hard? Come here.
(Embraces Max.)
Max: It's true. I like you. (Laughs.) And sometimes I think I l... (Regine enters kitchen, screaming. Max slides hands around Kyle's neck and pretends to choke him.) Get the hell away from me!
(Leaves.)
Kyle: I hate that woman!
(Turns away, smiling. Regine stares away in silence, bewildered and clearly fuming.)

[mimi75042]

Khadijah: You know all that fronting is gonna cost you the man you love.
Max: Who says I love him?
Khadijah: You did.
Max: Who says I meant it?
Khadijah: You did!
Max: All right. Check this out, girl. You need to stop listening to what I say.

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Overton: You could always take the bane of your existence with you.
Kyle: And let her terrorize another continent?

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Kyle: You said, 'I love you.'
Max: Well, 'I love you' was supposed to keep your ass here!
Max: One more time, sugar bunch.
Kyle: Well, I suppose I could be persuaded, if you let me hear those three magic words.
Max: Again? Oh, come on, man. Have a heart.
Kyle (yawning):Why do I suddenly feel so tired?
Max: All right. (Mumbles)
Kyle: Excuse me?
Max: I love you. I love you! I love you! Satisfied?
Kyle: Not as much as you're about to be.

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[Jaleesa''IsTheBoss]

you love living single don't cha!? you posted all my favorite quotes...I love when Regine said to Max you having sex with a virgin ?this is one time in your life someone will tell you your the best and they won't be lying...

[mimi75042]

Yes I do... I love watching it. I just wish that they would hurry up and release the other seasons already.

[mimi75042]

Here's some that I forgot..

Max: "Well, I gotta go to the corner for some beer." (to Crispus Attucks) "Regine, I thought you left. Oh! Ha, ha!"
Synclaire: "Wait a minute! There's plenty of beer in the fridge, missy."
Max: "Not the kind I like."
Khadijah: "I know what you're thirsty for. A deep brown lager with a full body and a smoking jacket."
Synclaire (deep voice): "Barker Beer!"
Max: "You know about this, too?"
Synclaire: "Oh please! We all know about it. Please! Everybody except Regine. Isn't it ironic, don't you think?"
Khadijah: "Admit it, Max. You can't get the man out of your system. And don't tell me it's just the sex."
Max: "You can call it whatever you like. But it's not gonna end up at the altar. You can freak that. You can just freak it."

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Max: "Hey girl. Aren't you the sorriest looking fire plug on the street? Girl, you look tore up. What's wrong?"
Regine: "You're pathetic, you know that? Phony concern from somebody who only cries when we run out of Miracle Whip."
Max: "I care. And to prove it, here's something that's sure to cheer you up. Kyle and I have been seeing each other for months." (Regine's eyes narrow.) "But it's over now, and you missed every freaky-sneaky detail. Oh...and everybody knew, but you!"
(Regine's mouth falls open in shock.)

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Kyle: "I hope I'm not this jittery the day of my wedding."
Overton: "Yeah, that's 'cause you'll be too busy arguing with Max over who's gonna wear the tux."
Kyle: "Max?"
Overton: "Yeah. Tragic as it is, Shorty, she's your destiny."

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Overton: Well, easy target as Max is, you look me in the eye and tell me you're over her.
Kyle: No. See, see, my life has never been better. I am this close to making partner, I just got a gig singing at a jazz club in Chelsea, and I don't mean to brag, but the Brits are caught up in a little thing they are calling Barkermania.
Overton: Yeah? So, how's your love life, jazzman?
Kyle: It's never been better. I am dating a supermodel. Six foot one and girlie is well worth the climb.
Overton: Tell me. How many times you close your eyes and you see Max?
Kyle: I'm afraid to close my eyes, man. Dear God, why can't I exorcise this demon?!
Overton: That's because of a little thing we Joneses like to call destiny. And it never goes away. It rides your back till your knees buckle, you fall flat on your ass, you look up and you say, 'All right. Enough, God. I-I get it.'
Kyle: Overton, I have been flat on my ass since I met this woman. Tell me, when are her knees going to buckle, huh?

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Overton: "Hey bro, can I get you, like, a real drink?"
Kyle: "Rat poison is my drink of choice at the moment."

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Max: I'm pregnant.
Kyle: Pregnant. (Laughs.) With what?

[Jaleesa''IsTheBoss]

I would love to have it on dvd,but my stores I go to,don't have it,what stores do you go to?

[mimi75042]

I'm still waiting for the other seasons to be released.. LOL

[Jaleesa''IsTheBoss]

[ThomasE]

My faves are:

Kyle: I'm not looking a writing partner Regine. Thanks all the same but I prefer to work solo.
Max: Kyle, we're not talking about your sex life!

Max opens the door as approaches "Naughty by Nature".

Max: Hi, Naughty. I am too. Won't you come in?