DVD Ciritc's Corner: Keira Knightley need to fire her agent edition -9/3/06 - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TJL · 09-03-2006, 03:46 PM

Critics have called the 2005 Keira Knightley flick Domino: “Ugly,” “Abusively moronic,” a “hyper-edited ruckus” and “ridiculous.”

And you know what? They’re right.

The End.

Well, that didn’t take very long.

Okay then, good job everyone! I’ll see you at the wrap party…

TJL · 09-05-2006, 06:51 PM

Domino Harvey was quite an interesting person.
Born in England, she was the daughter of a famous British actor, and for a time was a runway model. Her Mother’s second marriage to a co-founder of the Hard Rock Café chain (cha-ching!) gave Domino a cushy life of luxury in Beverly Hills.
But Domino decided to leave the glitz and glamour behind and chase fugitive criminals for a living as a bounty hunter, because unlike other poor little rich girls, getting a tattoo and dating a drummer wasn’t quite enough to piss off her Mom.

Gee, such a fascinating story in the hands of a capable film director would make a great movie, right?

Unfortunately, “Domino” was directed by Tony Scott (Top Gun, True Romance), a director who believes tying you to a chair and smacking the crap out of you with the story is the best way to get his point across.
“Domino” the movie is a biopic movie, heist movie, and Tarrentino style shoot-em-up movie guaranteed to make you dizzier than that time you drank three warm Coors Lights and immediately went on the Tilt-A-Whirl at the County Fair.
Mom could never get those stains out of my ZZ Top shirt.
The overall look of the film is…how can I put this… greasy. The main characters look like they haven’t showered or used and hair care products in a very long time. Everything else in the film looks like it’s coated in an oily residue, some kind of mixture of petroleum jelly and Promise margarine. Also, the film was shot in some kind of washed-out yellowish hue; probably in an effort convey the bleakness of Domino’s dangerous and sad life, but back in film school the way we described this technique was “the cinematographer can’t read a goddamn light meter.”
Plucky British pixie Keira Knightley (Pirates Of The Caribbean) tries her best to portray a wild girl in a wild man’s world, sucking down Marlboros and busting caps in baddies, but ultimately she comes off looking like a cranky Yorkshire terrier. Sure, a Yorkie will growl when threatened, but they’re still so darn cute you wanna rub their widdle belly and give them a treat anyway.
As a fellow bounty hunting partner, Mickey Rourke provides Domino with the father figure and mentor she never had, which just goes to show you how incredibly messed up things are when the guy who punches models is the movie’s Obi-Wan Kenobi.

So if you like your heroines caked with blood and your movies as coherent as a malaria induced fever dream, then smack your self in the head with a ball peen hammer and watch “Domino.” Heck, don’t shower for a week and get chummy with some skuzzy guys with shotguns and you can be Domino.

Heck, every little girl has to chase her dream.

09-03-2006, 03:46 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	DVD Ciritc's Corner: Keira Knightley need to fire her agent edition -9/3/06 Critics have called the 2005 Keira Knightley flick Domino: “Ugly,” “Abusively moronic,” a “hyper-edited ruckus” and “ridiculous.” And you know what? They’re right. The End. Well, that didn’t take very long. Okay then, good job everyone! I’ll see you at the wrap party…
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09-05-2006, 06:51 PM	#2
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Okay, here's an actual review of this crappy movie: Domino Harvey was quite an interesting person. Born in England, she was the daughter of a famous British actor, and for a time was a runway model. Her Mother’s second marriage to a co-founder of the Hard Rock Café chain (cha-ching!) gave Domino a cushy life of luxury in Beverly Hills. But Domino decided to leave the glitz and glamour behind and chase fugitive criminals for a living as a bounty hunter, because unlike other poor little rich girls, getting a tattoo and dating a drummer wasn’t quite enough to piss off her Mom. Gee, such a fascinating story in the hands of a capable film director would make a great movie, right? Unfortunately, “Domino” was directed by Tony Scott (Top Gun, True Romance), a director who believes tying you to a chair and smacking the crap out of you with the story is the best way to get his point across. “Domino” the movie is a biopic movie, heist movie, and Tarrentino style shoot-em-up movie guaranteed to make you dizzier than that time you drank three warm Coors Lights and immediately went on the Tilt-A-Whirl at the County Fair. Mom could never get those stains out of my ZZ Top shirt. The overall look of the film is…how can I put this… greasy. The main characters look like they haven’t showered or used and hair care products in a very long time. Everything else in the film looks like it’s coated in an oily residue, some kind of mixture of petroleum jelly and Promise margarine. Also, the film was shot in some kind of washed-out yellowish hue; probably in an effort convey the bleakness of Domino’s dangerous and sad life, but back in film school the way we described this technique was “the cinematographer can’t read a goddamn light meter.” Plucky British pixie Keira Knightley (Pirates Of The Caribbean) tries her best to portray a wild girl in a wild man’s world, sucking down Marlboros and busting caps in baddies, but ultimately she comes off looking like a cranky Yorkshire terrier. Sure, a Yorkie will growl when threatened, but they’re still so darn cute you wanna rub their widdle belly and give them a treat anyway. As a fellow bounty hunting partner, Mickey Rourke provides Domino with the father figure and mentor she never had, which just goes to show you how incredibly messed up things are when the guy who punches models is the movie’s Obi-Wan Kenobi. So if you like your heroines caked with blood and your movies as coherent as a malaria induced fever dream, then smack your self in the head with a ball peen hammer and watch “Domino.” Heck, don’t shower for a week and get chummy with some skuzzy guys with shotguns and you can be Domino. Heck, every little girl has to chase her dream.