Cactus Jack's Parody Thread

[Cactus Jack]

THis iwll just be a thread where you can enjoy all my parodies in one thread, and you can post your own too

[Cactus Jack]

Outdated
( parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavinge)
Yeah.....
Uh huh....
Sitnky food....

One day, it was three months ago
I went to the grocery store
I bought lots and lots of food
Because I was in the mood
When I bought it back home
I put it in the fridge
And now it's been three months since
I just remembered
All that food
I ate all of it
Result was unpleasant for me, for me
How was I supposed to know the food was all outdated?
I ran out of the kitchen then I rushed right in the bathroom
I slammed the door shut
And guess what it was an unpleasant experience
But did I check the date before I ate it?
Oh no no

One night, I had a party
Invited everyone I know
Even that crazy Marty Snow
I served all the food I had
Forgot to tell them it was bad
It was party hardy
Everyone had fun, even Marty
Then when they ate it all
They rushed out to the hall
Went into the bathroom
They all took turns
Doing the thing I did
And I thought oh woe is me, is me
Why did I forget to say the food was all outdated
They rushed into the bathroom
And they shut the door loud
I shouldve told them that the food was three months old
And I opened it today
But did I tell them that till now I never ate it?
Oh no no


I didnt know what to do
That food, I threw away the rest
All the food was rotten, I cant believe I opened it up
There was pizza, celery, a banana, some blueberries
Lots of stuff, including a half eaten burger
Even two packs of french fries, there was also
A ham sandwich, a bunch of food varities, oh yeah
Whyd have to opene it if it was all outdated?
At the party, I think I got everyone all constipated
I cant believe it
We ate all what we could, but I never should
Wait three months again
But do you think Id do it once more just to see what happens?
Oh maybe


Now I feel much better now
That food is in the dump truck now
In a Hefty trash bag
And now, its really late
But I just ate, some dinner, all new food
Ill now turn on the TV cause I'm in the mood, the mood
Now Im really happy cause I'm watching "If They Mated"
On Conan O Brien
Later on he might talk about "Gigli" which I really hated
If I saw that movie Id eat popcorn that was outdated
Id eat it so Id go to the restroom for over half the movie
But will I ever buy food at the store and wait three months again?
No , no no

[Cactus Jack]

Fry Fry Fries
(parody of "Bye Bye Bye" by NSYNC)
Hey hey
Fry Fry Fries ( Fry Fry Fries )
I�m doin this today yeah
You�re probably gonna do it at night yeah
I know it may not be right
Hey now come on
I�m gonna go to McDonalds
Or Burger King then I�ll go home
I�m gonna eat a burger and fries
That ain�t no lie
I just think I need ketchup for my
Fry Fry Fries

Fry Fry Fries
And a hamburger
With ketchup . relish and mustard
I need a hamburger not a whopper and that ain�t no lie
Fry Fry Fries
I just wanna say that I�ve had enough
I caught Homer Simpson drinking a Duff
It may seem crazy but it ain�t no lie
Fry Fry Fries
I also want some pickles
And no bun or cheese on the burger
I just want meat in my hamburger
Baby come on
I also want a drink like Coke
Dr. Pepper , Pepsi and Sprite

I don�t want anymore than that
That�s all I want with my hamburger
I forgot one thing I also want
Fry Fry Fries

Fry Fry Fries
And a hamburger
With ketchup . relish and mustard
I need a hamburger not a whopper and that ain�t no lie
Fry Fry Fries
I just wanna say that I�ve had enough
I caught Homer Simpson drinking a Duff
It may seem crazy but it ain�t no lie
Fry Fry Fries

After I�m done I will go to the bathroom
Then get in the car then go on home
Fry Fry
I�m in the car and I am done
I thought my food was really good.

I just want a hamburger
With some ketchup
And also some mustard ( fry fry fries )
I think 20 fries is just enough
( Just enough )
I that is enough
( Fry Fry )
And it ain�t no lie



Fry Fry Fries
And a hamburger
With ketchup . relish and mustard
I need a hamburger not a whopper and that ain�t no lie
Fry Fry Fries
I just wanna say that I�ve had enough
I caught Homer Simpson drinking a Duff
It may seem crazy but it ain�t no lie
Fry Fry Fries
Fry Fry

[Cactus Jack]

Mrs. Brown I Just Ordered This Whopper
(parody of "Mrs Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter" by Herman's Hermits)
Mrs Brown I just ordered a whopper
Burger King is the place i ordered it where
Im so glad, I didnt get a kids meal
I got a whopper, and ordered it with fries



I hope I get some ketchup with this whopper
Without it and pickles it wouldn't be the same
I hope it comes, with onions and tomato
I just got it right now, and I am eating it

Eatin' it up, even in a crowd, well
You'll figure out, this whopper tastes so good


If you find that I just love to eat it ( love to eat it )
You will find that they cooked it fine ( cooked it fine )
Its go great, there's a party in my mouth
With some Dr Pepper, this whopper is really good

Eatin' it up, even in a crowd, well
You'll figure out, this whopper tastes so good



If you find that I just love to eat it ( love to eat it )
You will find that they cooked it fine ( cooked it fine )
Its go great, there's a party in my mouth
With some Dr Pepper, this whopper is really good



Mrs Brown this was a great whopper ( a great whopper )
Mrs Brown I really loved this whopper ( loved this whopper )
Mrs Brown Im glad I had this whopper ( had this whopper )

[Cactus Jack]

Gigli Flopped
(parody of "At the Hop" by Danny and the Juniors)
Bah-bah-bah-bah, bah-bah-bah-bah
Bah-bah-bah-bah. bah-bah-bah-bah, Gigli flopped !

On July 30th out came a movie called Gigli and it flopped ( flopped flopped flopped )
You know the movie starring Ben Affleck and J Lo was flop ( flop flop flop )
It's the biggest one theres ever been of any flop ( f flop flop flop )
The worst movie sensation has swept that nation since it flopped ( flopped flopped flopped )

Ah, Gigli was a flop
Gigli was a flop (oh baby)
Gigli was a flop
Come on, Gigli was a flop

Well. I thought the trailer looked cool then it finally came out and it flopped ( flopped flopped flopped )
It's such a bad movie, it's the worst movie, Im glad it flopped ( flopped flopped flopped )
All the popcorn and coke got thrown at the theatre screen when it flopped ( flopped flopped flopped )
Let's go!

Ah, Gigli was a flop
Gigli was a flop (oh baby)
Gigli was a flop
Come on, Gigli was a flop
Let's go!

Well no more theatres have shown it and Im really happy that they aren't cause it flopped ( flopped flopped flopped )
I asked for all my money back and they really gave it back and it flopped ( flopped flopped flopepsd )
A cause for constipation just swept the nation when it flopped ( flopped flopped flopped )

When it comes out on video I suggest not seein it its so bad ( bad bad bad )
If you ever saw it then you'd finally see why it was a flop ( flop flop flop )
Gigli is the most terrible movie ever, Im gald it was a flop ( flop flop flop )
Let's go!


Ah, Gigli was a flop
Gigli was a flop (oh baby)
Gigli was a flop
Come on, Gigli was a flop

Bah-bah-bah-bah, bah-bah-bah-bah
Bah-bah-bah-bah. bah-bah-bah-bah, GIGLI FLOPPED!

[Cactus Jack]

Ice Cream
(parody of "Daydream" by The Lovin Spoonful)
What a day for some ice cream
What a day for an ice cream bowl
And Ill be havin some ice cream, till Im frozen from head to toe


Even if I had the chocolate kind, I might even have the vanilla one
I might have strawberry, or maybe some Neapolitan
It's a day for some ice cream
Been thinking 'bout it since I woke up today
I wont heat up my ice cream
Cause the weather is really hot today
And even if I topped it with whipped cream
Maybe with chocolate syrup and a cherry on top
However I have it, it will be alright
Ill have it right now, and its just great
Well, I just ate it out of a bowl
And now Im frozen from head to toe

And I can assure you it tasted great
And have it in a bowl and not on a plate
Later for dinner Ill heat and eat some hot dogs
Or I will we frozen for a thousand

Well I just had that ice cream
I had it in a little bowl
And I just ate up that ice cream then I was frozen from head to toe

[Cactus Jack]

Im Into Something Root
(parody of "Im Into Something Good" by Herman's Hermits)
Woke up this mornin' feelin' fine
Had a weird dream that I was still nine
I had some root beer last night , and I thought it was good, oh yeah
Something tells me Im into something root
( something tells me Im into something )



I remember being a Diet Coke guy
But now I am a root beer guy
Because I love it , like I knew I would
( I love root beer like I knew I would )
Something tells me Im into something root
( something tells me Im into something )

I had IBC and A&W
I also had Barq's and a MUG too
With this root beer Im fallin in love
Cause it's the only thing I've been drinkin up
It's the only thing Ive been drinkin up


I bought home a six pack
Got all four beers, in boxes
Drank them all up , and they were really good, oh yeah
( Drank it all and it was good )
Something tells me Im into something root
( Something tells me Im into something, ahh )


Drank every can that was in my hand
Then peed so much, I could barely stand
But I just gotta say it was really good
( Just gotta say it was eally good )
Something tells me Im into something root
( Something tells me Im into something )
Somethin' tells me I'm into something root
(somethin' tells me I'm into somethin')
To something good, oh yeah, something root
(somethin' tells me I'm into somethin')
To something root , something root something root

[Chad22]

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

[Cactus Jack]

This Telephone Ring
(parody of "This Diamond Ring" by Gary Lewis and the Playboys)
Who wants to hear this telephone ring?
I just turned the volume down, it wont mean a thing
And this telephone ring wont be so loud anymore
And I will not have to hold my ears at all anymore
So if you've got someone who's trying to call me
Well tough luck for them



This ring's not genuine, was too loud for me
My neighbor's phone is not as loud as this one was for me
And this telephone ring wont be loud for me anymore
And this telephone ring wont cause me to hold my ears
And I don't suggest putting lots of cotton balls inside it
Believe me I tried it

This telephone ring wont be so loud for me anymore
And this telephone ring wont hurt my ears like it did before
So if you've got someone who's trying to call me
Well tough luck for them

[Cactus Jack]

Spam
(parody of "Shaft" by Isaac Hayes)
Spam!
What's the food that comes in cans
but also is a kind of email
(Spam!)
You're damn right
What's the email
that people hate to get and always delete it?
(Spam!)
I cant dig it
Its also a food , but its also a type of mail
(!Spam )
Right on
You see this spam is a bad type of--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about spam
(We cant dig it, oh no )
Its complicated ,man
But no one understands but the people who send it
(Its spam!)

[Cactus Jack]

Run For Your Wife
(parody of "Run For Your Life" by The Beatles)
Well, you better watch for J Lo, little Ben
Before she sees another man
You better watch out for her, little Ben
Or you know where she is

You better run for your wife if you can, little Ben
She gone for another man, little Ben
Catch you her with that other man
That's the end'a little Ben

Well I know that I'm the kinda guy
That likes do to gossip
And knowing how J Lo is
I know she'll let it slip

You better run for your wife if you can, little Ben
She gone for another man, little Ben
Catch you her with that other man
That's the end'a little Ben

Let me just tell you that since Gigli, you planned a wedding
You postponed it at first then wnet to Splitsville
I know its still on now, but ya know how J. Lo is

You better run for your wife if you can, little Ben
She gone for another man, little Ben
Catch you her with that other man
That's the end'a little Ben

Well, you better watch for J Lo, little Ben
Before she sees another man
You better watch out for her, little Ben
Or you know where she is

You better run for your wife if you can, little Ben
She gone for another man, little Ben
Catch you her with that other man
That's the end'a little Ben


Na, na, na
Na, na, na
Na, na, na
Na, na, na

[Cactus Jack]

Tombstone Pizza
(parody of "Rhinestone Cowboy"by Glen Campbell)
Ive been meltin' this cheese so long
Humming the same old song
I grilled this cheeseburger , followed the intructions, but did it the hard
way
But Ill make something else
Something that wont be so hard to make, and it wont be grilled
There'll be a load of sausage on it
Pepperoni all around it
And Im gonna cover it all with this cheese

Like a tombstone pizza
Slicing it up so I can eat it all
Like a tombstone pizza
Makin' it so I wont have to order it over the phone
But it wont be any DiGiorno



Well, I really don't mind delivery
Don't mind callin any pizza place and ordering it
But with this new pizza Im making no one can get inside my shoes
There'll be a load of sausage on it
Pepperoni all around it
And Im gonna cover it all with this cheese

Like a tombstone pizza
Slicing it up so I can eat it all
Like a tombstone pizza
Makin' it so I wont have to order it over the phone
But it wont be any DiGiorno


Like a tombstone pizza
Slicing it up so I can eat it all
Like a tombstone pizza
Makin' it so I wont have to order it over the phone
But it wont be any DiGiorno

[Ohio8]

"Cooking For Today" (parody of Black Sabbath's "Looking For Today.")

stove's complete but obselete,
warranty expired yesterday.
nimble hands are in demand,
you order before you take your seat, yeah.

on a date with fashion plate,
got yourself another babe.
time is tight, this chilly night.
no time to play dining games, yeah.

she sits down next to you,
her hotness begins to reach your mind.
it's been much fun since you grew,
it's high time you unwind.
yea, yeah.

don't delay, kitchen's all the way.
tomorrow's just another bleem.
daytime star shines bright so far,
another menu you have seen, yeah.
you're at the top with no movie flop,
not blue shining all the way.
not to cry sunshine never dies,
but you want your lunch today, yeah.

the waitress walks up next to you,
the flavor begins to reach your mind.
you ordered chili instead of stew,
the waitress looks just like Amanda Bynes.
yea, yeah.

C: cooking for today,
cooking for today,
cooking for today,
cooking for today,
cooking for today.

(chow down!)

market trip, get some wine to sip.
imbibe once you're at home.
five foot tall, and what a show.
Rachel Ray's star really glows.
gourmet news. you're so amused.
good taste each and every day.
over ate. out on your date.
and I'm still only cooking for today.

repeat chorus ("C:"...)

[Ohio8]

"Wipe Out" (parody of R.E.M.'s "Wind Down.")

wipe out - fall off the board.
wipe out - strike wrong chord.
wipe out - break my sword.

hey, tick tock, it's time to rock.
set things straight then you gotta gooooo.

so look out - you got the flu.
find out - sunshine and blues.
wiped out - season's germs got to you.

hey tip top, it's time to stop.
what's with all your nonsense notes?

wiping out.

no doubt - you caught a cold.
no doubt - pills have gotten old.
no doubt - .... ....... was sold.

wiped out - you missed your turn.
wiped out - wood's too green to burn.
wiped out- you'd better learn.

tick tock time to look ahead.
some live twice, some are early dead.

wiped out, time's out, no doubt.
wiped out, time's out, no doubt.

wiped out, wiped out, wiped oooout!