Thoughts

[lilhave]

Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing?
If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach?
Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off?
Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?
Why can't liquor freeze?
If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down?
How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age?
Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of?
What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack?
Who was in the kitchen with Dina?
Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"?
Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it?
How old does something have to be to become an antique?
Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?
Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
Do babies produce more spit than adults?
How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
Do cows have calf muscles?
Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?
If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
If you died with braces on would they take them off?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?
Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
Have ex-punsters been expunged?
Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?
Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?
Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?
Have ex-bankers become disinterested?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Harvey