The first steps in befriending communication....

[swedeace]

What are they?

Without sounding weird but trying to get to know someone to befriend them, how do you not sound weird or creepy? I would like to try and talk with a local girl who has some of the same interests (writing, poetry, making friends). We started writing back-and-forth, and it seems like she stopped after her third message to me. It was the same thing with three guys I wanted to befriend. One of these guys is this girl's husband. It's been eight days since I have heard from her. My own mind is driving me crazy wondering if it was something I said in my last message. But...why do people take it for granted that once you are in their list, they seem to stop after the third message? How can I get to know others if that is persisitently happening.

So, how do I NOT sound creepy? I mean, think about it and please place yourself in my shoes: if you are trying to talk with someone you would like to talk more with and even hang out with, how would you go about it without sounding pushy? Any ideas? I am just running into corners.

[Nighthawk76]

Originally Posted by swedeace

What are they?

Without sounding weird but trying to get to know someone to befriend them, how do you not sound weird or creepy? I would like to try and talk with a local girl who has some of the same interests (writing, poetry, making friends). We started writing back-and-forth, and it seems like she stopped after her third message to me. It was the same thing with three guys I wanted to befriend. One of these guys is this girl's husband. It's been eight days since I have heard from her. My own mind is driving me crazy wondering if it was something I said in my last message. But...why do people take it for granted that once you are in their list, they seem to stop after the third message? How can I get to know others if that is persisitently happening.

So, how do I NOT sound creepy? I mean, think about it and please place yourself in my shoes: if you are trying to talk with someone you would like to talk more with and even hang out with, how would you go about it without sounding pushy? Any ideas? I am just running into corners.

I would just take things slowly, Mona. I think you sometimes try a little too hard. I have done this very samething myself a number of times. I think when a person trys too hard they can often over do it. I also think that it might be a mistake to befirend a married couple. I think that might lead to some trouble.

[Jonathan]

Originally Posted by DAX

I would just take things slowly, Mona. I think you sometimes try a little too hard. I have done this very samething myself a number of times. I think when a person trys too hard they can often over do it. I also think that it might be a mistake to befirend a married couple. I think that might lead to some trouble.

That is probably your best bet. Good luck.

[swedeace]

Thanks for your advice, guys.

Mike, I guess I should've mentioned that I don't really converse with the husband. I just sent him one message complimenting his family photos and his "heroes" quotes on his profile. He never replied back to me thanking me or anything. I had originally intended on just writing with him to see if we can become friends. What was funny was that the next day I wrote his wife (without knowing she was his wife because her profile was set to private). She had this really beautiful quote next to her name, and I told her I liked what she wrote. I love writings and quotes and like talking with people about them. I was also honest and mentioned I am interested in making friends.

She wrote me back almost instantaneously thanking me and told me she is also looking for friends, and she told me I can add her because she writes poetry. I added her, and now I was able to read her other writings. Wow...very profound and beautiful writing. So, I looked through her photos, and I noticed she had the same family photo as the husband did. Bingo! That's when it hit me that they were married! I mentioned it to her, and she did verify they are married. What a funny coincidence.

Well, a couple of days later, I got a friend request from her husband, but I still didn't get a message reply. I accepted his request. I didn't bother sending him another message because I figured I would just try and befriend with her. We both have a lot in common, and we are both pretty avid about wanting to make friends. I just thought that concentrating on her friendship would be best.

Then, I didn't hear from her, so that's why I created this thread. I just found the pattern to be quite annoying. Well, funny thing.... late last night she wrote me a comment saying she hadn't heard from me in a while and would hope to hear back from me. Wow!!! Haha...how funny how we BOTH were thinking the same thing!! That tells me one of our messages didn't go through, and we were both wondering about each other. She was just the first one to make mention of it. I am going to write her a message in a while. That was pretty unexpected but really cool...

[Nighthawk76]

Originally Posted by swedeace

Thanks for your advice, guys.

Mike, I guess I should've mentioned that I don't really converse with the husband. I just sent him one message complimenting his family photos and his "heroes" quotes on his profile. He never replied back to me thanking me or anything. I had originally intended on just writing with him to see if we can become friends. What was funny was that the next day I wrote his wife (without knowing she was his wife because her profile was set to private). She had this really beautiful quote next to her name, and I told her I liked what she wrote. I love writings and quotes and like talking with people about them. I was also honest and mentioned I am interested in making friends.

She wrote me back almost instantaneously thanking me and told me she is also looking for friends, and she told me I can add her because she writes poetry. I added her, and now I was able to read her other writings. Wow...very profound and beautiful writing. So, I looked through her photos, and I noticed she had the same family photo as the husband did. Bingo! That's when it hit me that they were married! I mentioned it to her, and she did verify they are married. What a funny coincidence.

Well, a couple of days later, I got a friend request from her husband, but I still didn't get a message reply. I accepted his request. I didn't bother sending him another message because I figured I would just try and befriend with her. We both have a lot in common, and we are both pretty avid about wanting to make friends. I just thought that concentrating on her friendship would be best.

Then, I didn't hear from her, so that's why I created this thread. I just found the pattern to be quite annoying. Well, funny thing.... late last night she wrote me a comment saying she hadn't heard from me in a while and would hope to hear back from me. Wow!!! Haha...how funny how we BOTH were thinking the same thing!! That tells me one of our messages didn't go through, and we were both wondering about each other. She was just the first one to make mention of it. I am going to write her a message in a while. That was pretty unexpected but really cool...

Good luck, Mona.

I guess I just sort of thought it a bit strange that a married couple were online trying to make friends with people. I would think that they would want to spend time with one another. When I'm married (someday I hope to be ) I would like to think that my wife and I would not be online trying to make friends with people, but doing...other things. Of course, it is important for guys to have other guy friends and women to have other women friends.

[swedeace]

Originally Posted by DAX

Good luck, Mona.

Thanks again, Mike! I have sent her a message, and she replied instantaneously again. She was online. She apologized for not writing a response to that email. She was really busy since early last week, and she named what was she was going through. I invited her to a wine festival event this weekend, but they're planning out a birthday party for their daughter. She couldn't make it this time.

I guess I just sort of thought it a bit strange that a married couple were online trying to make friends with people. I would think that they would want to spend time with one another. When I'm married (someday I hope to be ) I would like to think that my wife and I would not be online trying to make friends with people, but doing...other things. Of course, it is important for guys to have other guy friends and women to have other women friends.

Hahahahaha.... that's true. It's difficult when people have "friends" next to their "Here for" part of the profile. It's difficult to tell if they are just using their space for their existing friends or if they want to make more friends. That is, unless the person tells you themselves. Like, the wife. She told me in her words she would also like to make friends. So, I know it for sure from her mouth (erm, words, in the online world).