George Carlin message abt AGING...I hope you enjoy, I did! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ireneparalegal · 08-24-2006, 01:56 PM

One of my girlfriends back east sent me this. She knows I love George Carlin and I have been a fan of his since I was a teen. Hope you enjoy this:

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . .. . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50

and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

sweetdiggity · 08-24-2006, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

I love that, it's so true!

Ireneparalegal · 08-24-2006, 05:27 PM

You are welcome!

AKA · 08-24-2006, 07:09 PM

Not written by George Carlin. From his website:

http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/dontblame.html

Quote:

Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.

Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.

"PARADOX OF OUR TIME"
One of the more embarrassing items making the internet/e-mail rounds is a sappy load of **** called "The Paradox of Our Time." The main problem I have with it is that as true as some of the expressed sentiments may be, who really gives a ****? Certainly not me.

I figured out years ago that the human species is totally ****ed and has been for a long time. I also know that the sick, media-consumer culture in America continues to make this so-called problem worse. But the trick, folks, is not to give a ****. Like me. I really don't care. I stopped worrying about all this temporal bull**** a long time ago. It's meaningless. (See the preface of "Braindroppings.")

Another problem I have with "Paradox" is that the ideas are all expressed in a sort of pseudo-spiritual, New-Age-y, "Gee-whiz-can't-we-do-better-than-this" tone of voice. It's not only bad prose and poetry, it's weak philosophy. I hope I never sound like that.

HOW TO SPOT A FAKE
Here's a rule of thumb, folks: Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website. If you see something with my name on it, and you really need to find out if it's mine, post a question on my bulletin board . But only if it's really important to you; don't **** around with me for a lark.

Brian Damage · 08-24-2006, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA

Not written by George Carlin. From his website:

http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/dontblame.html

Thanks for that Brad

Ireneparalegal · 08-24-2006, 07:18 PM

There is no link on his website that specifically mentions the item I posted. Did you check it out yourself? I clicked on the links on the website you provided and it doesn't show up...

Ireneparalegal · 08-24-2006, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

Thanks for that Brad

Did you check out the links yourself? Did you find anything that says this piece is not his? I didn't find it...maybe someone can point it out to me...

AKA · 08-24-2006, 07:43 PM

I'm a big fan of his, and that doesn't sound like something he'd write. Refer to: "I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different." Anyone who's followed George Carlin's career for any amount of times knows he wouldn't write something as sappy as the above.

Also, see "Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website." That's not from any of his albums, books, specials or his website.

Finally (referring to another article he didn't write) "It's not only bad prose and poetry, it's weak philosophy. I hope I never sound like that."

TheGreatPretender · 08-24-2006, 08:14 PM

Eh who cares who it was written by, good message and I'm sure it made alot of people feel better about themselves.

Brieannas21 · 08-24-2006, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Did you check out the links yourself? Did you find anything that says this piece is not his? I didn't find it...maybe someone can point it out to me...

It popped up for me, If you go his website and look on the right hand side there's a sentence that says The following items (including the "Bad American" email) were NOT written by George Carlin: Read Carlin's response to the crap attributed to him on the internet. click on that.

Ireneparalegal · 08-24-2006, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brieannas21

It popped up for me, If you go his website and look on the right hand side there's a sentence that says The following items (including the "Bad American" email) were NOT written by George Carlin: Read Carlin's response to the crap attributed to him on the internet. click on that.

AKA, I am too a big fan of his, so I don't need to have that pointed in my face as if only certain people are. Being 41, I have followed his career since I was a teen. I have his albums. Whether "it doesn't sound like something he would write" is not CONCRETE PROOF...that is your opinion.
I did click on that, but it did not reference this particular piece. Am I looking in the wrong spot perhaps...I haven't come across anything on the net that states it is NOT his work. If anything, just the opposite.

But, if the message doesn't get across, regardless of who wrote it...then what can I tell you. I know the message is striking and remarkable. If it came from someone like Hitler or Saddam, then it does matter, but since it wasn't from anyone like that...

MsOrange · 08-25-2006, 08:53 AM

Found this in a Google search. For the record, i'm not a George Carlin fan...

http://www.reclaimjesus.net/index.php?q=node/325
http://www.avclub.com/content/node/42195/3

Quote:

"...Here's what I want people to know, and if I did nothing else in this interview, I'll get this across: If anyone e-mails you something "by George Carlin," there's a 99 percent chance I did not write it. I didn't write "Paradox Of Our Time." I didn't write "George Carlin On Aging." I didn't write a eulogy for my wife after she died. I didn't write the New Orleans thing. I didn't write "I Am A Bad American." None of them."

regardless, i'ts a nice write up, whoever wrote it

MsOrange · 08-25-2006, 08:59 AM

and another....
I would say the combo of the above, and the statements by George Carlin himself, is proof enough he didn't write it.

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors...n-on-aging.htm

whoever wrote it though, it is a nice piece.

Bobby F. · 08-25-2006, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

AKA, I am too a big fan of his, so I don't need to have that pointed in my face as if only certain people are. Being 41, I have followed his career since I was a teen. I have his albums. Whether "it doesn't sound like something he would write" is not CONCRETE PROOF...that is your opinion.
I did click on that, but it did not reference this particular piece. Am I looking in the wrong spot perhaps...I haven't come across anything on the net that states it is NOT his work. If anything, just the opposite.

But, if the message doesn't get across, regardless of who wrote it...then what can I tell you. I know the message is striking and remarkable. If it came from someone like Hitler or Saddam, then it does matter, but since it wasn't from anyone like that...

Lighten up a little. He's not trying to slam you. He's just pointing out that it might not be Carlins stuff. Xanex anyone???

MsOrange · 08-25-2006, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

...I haven't come across anything on the net that states it is NOT his work. If anything, just the opposite...

not trying to start anything but where did you find something that supported it being his? Other than someone else posting it.

08-24-2006, 01:56 PM	#1
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	George Carlin message abt AGING...I hope you enjoy, I did! One of my girlfriends back east sent me this. She knows I love George Carlin and I have been a fan of his since I was a teen. Hope you enjoy this: George Carlin's Views on Aging Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . .. . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them." 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's. 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is. 10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

08-24-2006, 08:14 PM	#9
TheGreatPretender just because Forum Veteran Join Date: May 22, 2004 Location: Trying to think of a creative, witty location. Posts: 7,628	Eh who cares who it was written by, good message and I'm sure it made alot of people feel better about themselves.
	__________________ Peace is a good thing and so is salmon when it's smoked

08-24-2006, 05:27 PM	#3
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	You are welcome!

08-24-2006, 07:18 PM	#6
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	There is no link on his website that specifically mentions the item I posted. Did you check it out yourself? I clicked on the links on the website you provided and it doesn't show up...

08-24-2006, 07:43 PM	#8
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	I'm a big fan of his, and that doesn't sound like something he'd write. Refer to: "I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different." Anyone who's followed George Carlin's career for any amount of times knows he wouldn't write something as sappy as the above. Also, see "Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website." That's not from any of his albums, books, specials or his website. Finally (referring to another article he didn't write) "It's not only bad prose and poetry, it's weak philosophy. I hope I never sound like that."

08-25-2006, 08:59 AM	#13
MsOrange Bringin' Sexy Back Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 6,133	and another.... I would say the combo of the above, and the statements by George Carlin himself, is proof enough he didn't write it. http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors...n-on-aging.htm whoever wrote it though, it is a nice piece.