You might be a redneck if: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

ks · 07-18-2001, 06:57 PM

What are some of the best 'red neck' jokes Jeff Foxworthy has?

What are some you've heard from other people?

What are some you've made up on your own?

Just curious. I think the 'red neck' jokes are some of the funniest things I've ever heard!

Here are a few of his I remember right off the bat:

1. "You might be a red neck if your name is Bob and you wear a shirt that says your name is Tim."

2. "You might be a red neck if you walk up, knock on the door of the phone booth, and ask the individual inside who has the phone up to his are: 'you using the phone?'"

3. "You might be a red neck if your consider graduating passing the fifth grade."

Those are some of his I can recall right now. There are more I will post later, I have to go eat now!

Have any?

ks

DarleneIllyria · 07-18-2001, 07:52 PM

I gotta whole messful of 'em- lol

You might be a redneck if:

Your dad walks you to school everyday because you are in the same grade

When you take out the trash you are really taking your inlaws out

Your hair has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan

You wash your hair once a year and roll it up with soup cans

You keep your dog and your wallet on a chain

You yell out at a piano recital "ROCK THE HOUSE BUBBA!"

*I'll be back with more later*

------------------
Hottest Men alive:
Dale Midkiff
Anthony Starke
Tim McGraw
Jonathan Crombie

Ags2000 · 07-23-2001, 01:28 AM

This is right up my isle. I admit whole heartedly that I am A Certified Redneck and Proud of it.

You might be a redneck if:

You've ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

Your grandmother keeps a spittin' cup by the ironing board.

Your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to help him take the tires off of it.

You've ever cut the grass and found a car.

If you have 4 cars in the driveway, and none of them work.

If somebody asks for an ID and you show them your belt buckle.

You've ever financed a tattoo.

You've ever made change in the offering plate at church.

You can burp and say your name at the same time.

Your satellite dish is a metal collinder, an two forks pointin south.

You've exceeded 90 mph in a bass boat.

You've been on the t.v. more then five times describing what the tornado sounded like.

You see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

You have ever been too drunk to fish.

If every day somebody comes to your door mistaking that you are having a yard sale.

If you go to the family reunion to pick up women.

Thats all that I can think of now, I'll have to keep thinking. I know lots of them
D

07-18-2001, 06:57 PM	#1
ks Certifiably Insane Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 21, 2000 Location: I live in my hole... Posts: 5,501	You might be a redneck if: What are some of the best 'red neck' jokes Jeff Foxworthy has? What are some you've heard from other people? What are some you've made up on your own? Just curious. I think the 'red neck' jokes are some of the funniest things I've ever heard! Here are a few of his I remember right off the bat: 1. "You might be a red neck if your name is Bob and you wear a shirt that says your name is Tim." 2. "You might be a red neck if you walk up, knock on the door of the phone booth, and ask the individual inside who has the phone up to his are: 'you using the phone?'" 3. "You might be a red neck if your consider graduating passing the fifth grade." Those are some of his I can recall right now. There are more I will post later, I have to go eat now! Have any? ks

07-18-2001, 07:52 PM	#2
DarleneIllyria Gone Forum Star Join Date: Oct 15, 2000 Posts: 19,086	I gotta whole messful of 'em- lol You might be a redneck if: Your dad walks you to school everyday because you are in the same grade When you take out the trash you are really taking your inlaws out Your hair has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan You wash your hair once a year and roll it up with soup cans You keep your dog and your wallet on a chain You yell out at a piano recital "ROCK THE HOUSE BUBBA!" I'll be back with more later ------------------ Hottest Men alive: Dale Midkiff Anthony Starke Tim McGraw Jonathan Crombie

07-23-2001, 01:28 AM	#3
Ags2000 Red 2/13/90 -1/5/06 Forum Veteran Join Date: May 02, 2001 Location: Candyland Posts: 5,544	This is right up my isle. I admit whole heartedly that I am A Certified Redneck and Proud of it. You might be a redneck if: You've ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor. Your grandmother keeps a spittin' cup by the ironing board. Your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to help him take the tires off of it. You've ever cut the grass and found a car. If you have 4 cars in the driveway, and none of them work. If somebody asks for an ID and you show them your belt buckle. You've ever financed a tattoo. You've ever made change in the offering plate at church. You can burp and say your name at the same time. Your satellite dish is a metal collinder, an two forks pointin south. You've exceeded 90 mph in a bass boat. You've been on the t.v. more then five times describing what the tornado sounded like. You see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up. You have ever been too drunk to fish. If every day somebody comes to your door mistaking that you are having a yard sale. If you go to the family reunion to pick up women. Thats all that I can think of now, I'll have to keep thinking. I know lots of them D