First Impressions are Everything...or...are They?

[swedeace]

Upon meeting new people, are you a strong believer that "impressions are everything?"

I mean, what if you end up meeting/seeing the other person after that. No matter what type of relationship you bond with them, do you still think from time-to-time about how it was like during that "first impression?" For instance, here's a weird story I wanna share with you all:

I just came back from a "Game Night" socialization at a local "Barnes`n`Noble" bookstore that they have on every second last Friday of the month. This is the second time I attended one with the last one being in February.

During this game, it was four of us (three females and one guy) and one of the girls who worked over there. I forgot what game we played, but it was a word association game. It was fun! The guy won, so he got a free large coffee drink.

He mentioned he purchased a card word association game called "Quibble" (or something like that), and he asked if we wanted to play. The guy, one of the women (probably in her 40s), and I stayed for his card game. The bookstore employee and another woman had to go back to work, so it was just the three of us.

The guy went to go and choose his free coffee drink while the remaining woman and I were shuffling the cards. While we shuffled, we talked a bit. I learned the woman just moved from Honolulu a couple of months ago. She lived there for about 20 years. She was telling me people were giving her such a difficult time setting up things for her such as phone services, bank accounts, etc... Now, when you first meet someone, it's not really a good idea to get TOO personal with information until you know them a little more, right? Well, this woman was a bit of an oddball to me after a while. She said these people were treating her as though she was an illegal immigrant just because she came from Hawaii. She mentioned that she cried. She also told me that NO man had EVER asked her out while living over in Honolulu (she asked me how the men were here). Besides, that was such an awkward question for me to answer since I don't have much dating experience, but I did NOT want to say that, you know. I didn't feel comfortable in sharing that. That was quite an uncomfortable question/topic considering that I BARELY know this woman, and she is telling me some of this VERY personal stuff about herself?

We began the game when the guy returned with his free drink. I could see how generally annoying she was getting while playing the game by her mannerisms and stuff she was saying because the guy and I kept sorta chuckling out of frustration. She kept asking passerbyers if they wanted to join us by playing the game, but they kept denying. Then she saw this man at another table and had a mini conversation with him about a phone company. After their convo, she whispered to the game guy at our table by saying, "I cried in front of that man when I was trying to cancel my service." The guy and I just kept playing. Obviously, that made the game guy feel uncomfortable for her to be "so open." Erm... you just do NOT say stuff like that upon first meetings with people. That was getting a little odd.

I had to leave after 15 minutes into playing that game, so I told them I had to go, and the woman asks me, "Oh, where are you going?" HUH?! It's really NONE of her business. If I didn't voluntarily give that information, then it's obvious I didn't want others to know. What difference does it make. I just said I had to meet someone. The guy suggested he wanted to put together our own time of "game night," and he asked for my email address. I wrote it on a piece of paper and handed it to him. I don't wanna jump the gun, but that guy and I got along pretty well. We looked and smiled at each other a couple of times, so.... I hope he will write... Even if it's for game nights, I think it would be cool to hang out/play board games with him in the future. He was quite nice!! I don't wanna jinx anything, but it felt like in that direction, you know....

Anyway, so what are your beliefs in "first impressions are everything?" Are you a strong believer in that? Why? Why not?

I am mostly a first impressions person. Even if I continue communicating with people, I usually tend to still think about how we "first communicated/encountered" each other. I just do. What about you?

[Chad Michael Murray]

Sometimes they are, but sometimes they aren't for me. It's weird. Sometimes, I just get an instinct or feeling about somebody, and it's right on the money. Other times, I'm completely wrong.

There have been people I might've casually known before, like in school or whatnot, and just got the impression that I didn't like them for whatever reason. Then the next year, I'd wind up getting to know them a lot better for one reason or another and wound up REALLY liking them. I remember during my Senior year in Psych class, I had a couple of friends across the room who sat with another girl and for like the first week, I always felt like she just didn't find me funny whatsoever and was always shooting me dirty looks; afterwards, I found out I was COMPLETELY wrong and she became one of my favorite people.

[swedeace]

Yeah, that's true about sometimes a first impression can be being a bad one and then later turn into a good one. You're right. It depends on the person and situation.

So, does that mean you are open to "second chances" and "time heals wounds" sort of a thing?

[Number 9 Dream]

Hey Mona,

I agree with Matt and have went through similar experiences myself. There were many people I didn't give a chance to because I got the impression that they were 'too popular' or 'too snobby', but I was totally wrong. And then there were cases where I made fast friends with someone and then discovered their true side, a side I didn't like. So, it could definitely go either way. I'm also pretty good at judging someones' character, at least on a surface level.

But that's not to say that there CAN'T be second chances, you know? Things can be worked out with communication