Things I learned about Texas - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Penny Lane · 06-11-2006, 04:07 PM

For all of our Texas members

Things I learned in Texas

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.

Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it
will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their
house.

A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2.

Onced and twiced are words.

Coldbeer is one word.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the
country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.

Fix-in-to is one word.

There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.

"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.

"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.

You measure distance in minutes or hours.

You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.

You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year.

All the
festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.

You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables for your own car.

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.

You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.

You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.

The first day of deer season is a state holiday.

You know which leaves make good
toilet paper.

You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.

The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.

You know whether another
Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world."

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.

Texans understand these jokes. If you do too, forward them to your friends from Texas. If you don't just come and stay awhile.

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Yooch · 06-11-2006, 05:08 PM

I've seen this one before, but I love it each time I read it.

Next to California, Texas is my favorite state! The people are among the friendliest and most hospitable I've met from any state. I was stationed in San Angelo for a while while I was in the military, and my wife's cousins live in Garland and also up by Lake Texoma.

I love the state and its people!

Courtnee · 06-11-2006, 05:13 PM

I lived in texas for 3 years and loved it. people are so nice there. but yeah. most of that stuff goes for louisiana too

Jonathan · 06-11-2006, 05:15 PM

snl 70s show fan · 06-11-2006, 05:22 PM

i lived in texas for a year and loved it i still have friends that live there

Kazza · 06-11-2006, 06:52 PM

Howdy ya'll, I'm fixin' to laugh my head off after reading this.

PZelda · 06-11-2006, 07:08 PM

Quote:

The first day of deer season is a state holiday.

That's actually true up here in North Dakota too. Some years, they have even cancelled school to let people have time to go deer-hunting. One thing is for sure, you can definitely count on a high number of absences on the first day of deer season.

80sTrivia · 06-11-2006, 08:49 PM

Those are some pretty hilarious observations...

strawberry cupcake · 06-11-2006, 09:14 PM

that's funny. i'm from texas so i can relate to all those jokes.

dawsongirl · 06-11-2006, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penny Lane

You measure distance in minutes or hours.

You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.

You carry jumper cables for your own car.

You know what "cow tipping" is.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.

Those apply here too.

And now I'm scared.

PrettyinPink55 · 06-12-2006, 12:46 AM

HAHA!!! I love it!!!

Penny Lane · 06-12-2006, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawsongirl

Those apply here too.

And now I'm scared.

Same for Michigan!

*MIBabe03* · 06-12-2006, 11:57 AM

Yep, some of that is true.

Rhiannon · 06-12-2006, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penny Lane

"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.

I agree. How can someone not like sweet tea?

MsOrange · 06-12-2006, 03:44 PM

goes for South Carolina too...

Sweet Ice Tea... God I love it!!

06-11-2006, 04:07 PM	#1
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,263	Things I learned about Texas For all of our Texas members Things I learned in Texas Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before. Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe. If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you! Nothing will kill a mesquite tree. There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house. A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck. The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2. Onced and twiced are words. Coldbeer is one word. People actually grow and eat okra. Green grass DOES burn. When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor. Fix-in-to is one word. There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper. "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two. "Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?" You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see. You measure distance in minutes or hours. You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. Stores don't have bags. They have sacks. You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable. You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked. You carry jumper cables for your own car. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are. You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco. You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football. The first day of deer season is a state holiday. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm. The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas. You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world." You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor. Texans understand these jokes. If you do too, forward them to your friends from Texas. If you don't just come and stay awhile. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
	__________________ Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley

06-11-2006, 05:08 PM	#2
Yooch Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 07, 2006 Location: California Posts: 3,180	I've seen this one before, but I love it each time I read it. Next to California, Texas is my favorite state! The people are among the friendliest and most hospitable I've met from any state. I was stationed in San Angelo for a while while I was in the military, and my wife's cousins live in Garland and also up by Lake Texoma. I love the state and its people!
	__________________ "The true meaning of America, you ask? It's in a Texas rodeo, in a policeman's badge, in the sound of laughing children, in a political rally, in a newspaper...In all these things and many more, you'll find freedom. And freedom is what America means to the world. And to me." --Audie Leon Murphy June 20, 1924-- May 28, 1971

06-11-2006, 05:13 PM	#3
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413	I lived in texas for 3 years and loved it. people are so nice there. but yeah. most of that stuff goes for louisiana too
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

06-11-2006, 08:49 PM	#8
80sTrivia Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 23, 2002 Posts: 21,714	Those are some pretty hilarious observations...
	__________________ Perfect Gift Books for Pop Culture Fanatics: Thank You for Being a Friend: A Golden Girls Trivia Book The Bouquet Residence: A Keeping Up Appearances Trivia Book Cooking With the Golden Girls: Fun & Delicious Recipes from a Hilarious Miami Kitchen Love in the Afternoon: The Ultimate Soap Opera Trivia Book The Last Great Decade: The Ultimate 90s Trivia Book Betty White: A Celebration

06-11-2006, 09:14 PM	#9
strawberry cupcake back in action Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 17, 2005 Location: texas Posts: 646	that's funny. i'm from texas so i can relate to all those jokes.
	__________________ love peace n hair greese. ~dorothy

06-11-2006, 05:15 PM	#4
Jonathan ***** Senior Member** Join Date: Aug 28, 2004 Posts: 2,304

06-11-2006, 05:22 PM	#5
snl 70s show fan Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 14, 2005 Location: in the forman basment Posts: 2,454	i lived in texas for a year and loved it i still have friends that live there

06-11-2006, 06:52 PM	#6
Kazza Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 17, 2003 Posts: 3,244	Howdy ya'll, I'm fixin' to laugh my head off after reading this.

06-12-2006, 12:46 AM	#11
PrettyinPink55 Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 11, 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 24,601	HAHA!!! I love it!!!
	__________________ ♥♥♥

06-12-2006, 11:57 AM	#13
MIBabe03 Loving Swingtown! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 28, 2002 Location: TX Posts: 4,646	Yep, some of that is true.
	__________________ Laura and Mario November 10, 2006

06-12-2006, 03:44 PM	#15
MsOrange Bringin' Sexy Back Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 6,133	goes for South Carolina too... Sweet Ice Tea... God I love it!!