The Cemetery - Do you visit? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Janice · 06-04-2006, 03:02 PM

For those who have lost loved ones - do you go to the cemetery? I've found that there are people who find great comfort in going, and others who can't handle it.

I don't go. I tried a few times, but it was too much to take. My father, on the other hand, used to visit my sister's grave once a week.

My husband visits his family's graves on their birthdays, Memorial Day, etc. I can go to his family's graves, but not my own family's.

Ireneparalegal · 06-04-2006, 03:07 PM

I try to go. I like to clean around the headstones and make it very beautiful. I don't know, but if i don't visit, I feel like my loved ones will think I don't care. I know that is not true, but just something abt it, I need to go. Maybe not every week, but every so often.

Mr. Television · 06-04-2006, 03:13 PM

I go to my Mothers grave at least once a year, usually on Memorial day. I didn't make it this year but I might go up for Veterans day. I visit my Grand Parents graves whenever I'm in town. Sometimes its hard but I just feel like it's something I have to do. My youngest sister has never visited my Mom's grave. She hasn't been to the cementary since the funeral. I think it's just to hard on her.

EmoJoe · 06-04-2006, 03:14 PM

we usually go to my grandparent's graves a few times a year.

Tuesday Weld · 06-04-2006, 03:16 PM

I really have no graves to visit, since a lot of my relatives were creamated.

Janice · 06-04-2006, 03:18 PM

My sister died in 1991 at the age of 35. Her two sons were ages 14 and 18. They're both married with children today. The oldest son visits his mother's grave, while the youngest never does.

I'm very close to my nephews and their wives. The wife of the younger son (who never visits) tells me that he cries like a baby over his mother...on her birthday, the anniversary of her death, the holidays, etc.

It's such a personal issue. Some people need to go, while others simply can't handle it. It has nothing to do with loving the deceased any more, or less.

Yooch · 06-04-2006, 03:33 PM

I rarely go, and I suppose I should more often. For one thing, I now live quite a distance from where my parents are buried. But also, there are two other reasons that I don't go to the cemetery--one is that I like to remember my parents from when they were alive and secondly, I believe I will see them again at some point.

Mijada · 06-04-2006, 04:21 PM

I haven't been to my maternal grandparents graves in years. I really should go and visit them though. Their graves are probably a mess of weeds by now. My paternal grandparents were cremated so i have nowhere to visit them. My sister was also cremated, we never even had a funeral for her and never really talked to anyone about it so sometimes it's hard to believe she is really dead even though it's been 15 years. A lot of the time I just like to think she lives in another state or something.
I'd rather just look at pictures and visit them that way because really only their bodies are at the cemetary. Their souls are really somewhere else.

Dr. John Becker · 06-04-2006, 04:54 PM

I visit my father once a month. Like Irene said, I feel like the dead will feel like we don't care if we don't visit, even though that's irrational thinking. The first few times I visited his grave were very tough.

Dr. John Becker · 06-04-2006, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mijada

I'd rather just look at pictures and visit them that way because really only their bodies are at the cemetary. Their souls are really somewhere else.

That's very true.

Courtnee · 06-04-2006, 04:56 PM

I

cemeteries

It's just a comforting place to be for me

swedeace · 06-04-2006, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

It's such a personal issue. Some people need to go, while others simply can't handle it. It has nothing to do with loving the deceased any more, or less.

I couldn't have said it any better. I feel the same way. This is also the reason why I do not like to attend funerals. They traumatize me, and I can't usually cry while I am attending them. So I just remember them and keep them in my heart forever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mijada

I'd rather just look at pictures and visit them that way because really only their bodies are at the cemetary. Their souls are really somewhere else.

I agree as well. I would rather remember people fondly by their photos, their smiles, and keeping them in my heart.

Mr. Television · 06-04-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedeace

I couldn't have said it any better. I feel the same way. This is also the reason why I do not like to attend funerals. They traumatize me, and I can't usually cry while I am attending them. So I just remember them and keep them in my heart forever.

I agree as well. I would rather remember people fondly by their photos, their smiles, and keeping them in my heart.

I'm just the opposite. I can't even look at old photos anymore or I'll break out crying. I think actually seeing them makes it more real to me.

Janice · 06-04-2006, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I Walk The Line

I'm just the opposite. I can't even look at old photos anymore or I'll break out crying. I think actually seeing them makes it more real to me.

I can't look at family photos anymore either, Sonny. Too painful.

Crimson and Clover · 06-04-2006, 05:12 PM

yeah, me and will are getting married at the cemetery (in the mosoleum)where one of my friends is, on tuesday.

06-04-2006, 03:02 PM	#1
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	The Cemetery - Do you visit? For those who have lost loved ones - do you go to the cemetery? I've found that there are people who find great comfort in going, and others who can't handle it. I don't go. I tried a few times, but it was too much to take. My father, on the other hand, used to visit my sister's grave once a week. My husband visits his family's graves on their birthdays, Memorial Day, etc. I can go to his family's graves, but not my own family's.

06-04-2006, 03:07 PM	#2
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	I try to go. I like to clean around the headstones and make it very beautiful. I don't know, but if i don't visit, I feel like my loved ones will think I don't care. I know that is not true, but just something abt it, I need to go. Maybe not every week, but every so often.
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

06-04-2006, 03:13 PM	#3
Mr. Television 23 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,132	I go to my Mothers grave at least once a year, usually on Memorial day. I didn't make it this year but I might go up for Veterans day. I visit my Grand Parents graves whenever I'm in town. Sometimes its hard but I just feel like it's something I have to do. My youngest sister has never visited my Mom's grave. She hasn't been to the cementary since the funeral. I think it's just to hard on her.
	__________________ Sonny

06-04-2006, 03:14 PM	#4
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,478	we usually go to my grandparent's graves a few times a year.
	__________________ "I know the difference between TV and reality, Jeff. TV has structure, it makes sense, there are likable leading men. In real life, we have this. We have you." - Abed Nadir, Community www.sitcomsarestupid.blogspot.com

06-04-2006, 03:16 PM	#5
Tuesday Weld I missed you all. hugs Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 02, 2003 Location: Having a great time. Posts: 22,285	I really have no graves to visit, since a lot of my relatives were creamated.
	__________________ Cindy Formerly musicrocksmyworld, ElvisDustyfan and vintagetvgirl. After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager." - William S. Burroughs

06-04-2006, 03:18 PM	#6
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	My sister died in 1991 at the age of 35. Her two sons were ages 14 and 18. They're both married with children today. The oldest son visits his mother's grave, while the youngest never does. I'm very close to my nephews and their wives. The wife of the younger son (who never visits) tells me that he cries like a baby over his mother...on her birthday, the anniversary of her death, the holidays, etc. It's such a personal issue. Some people need to go, while others simply can't handle it. It has nothing to do with loving the deceased any more, or less.

06-04-2006, 03:33 PM	#7
Yooch Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 07, 2006 Location: California Posts: 3,180	I rarely go, and I suppose I should more often. For one thing, I now live quite a distance from where my parents are buried. But also, there are two other reasons that I don't go to the cemetery--one is that I like to remember my parents from when they were alive and secondly, I believe I will see them again at some point.
	__________________ "The true meaning of America, you ask? It's in a Texas rodeo, in a policeman's badge, in the sound of laughing children, in a political rally, in a newspaper...In all these things and many more, you'll find freedom. And freedom is what America means to the world. And to me." --Audie Leon Murphy June 20, 1924-- May 28, 1971

06-04-2006, 04:21 PM	#8
Mijada Spencers mom Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2001 Location: eastern US Posts: 4,093	I haven't been to my maternal grandparents graves in years. I really should go and visit them though. Their graves are probably a mess of weeds by now. My paternal grandparents were cremated so i have nowhere to visit them. My sister was also cremated, we never even had a funeral for her and never really talked to anyone about it so sometimes it's hard to believe she is really dead even though it's been 15 years. A lot of the time I just like to think she lives in another state or something. I'd rather just look at pictures and visit them that way because really only their bodies are at the cemetary. Their souls are really somewhere else.
	__________________ Proud mom to Spencer, Justine and Colleen

06-04-2006, 04:54 PM	#9
Dr. John Becker A Great American Senior Member Join Date: Sep 12, 2003 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 2,645	I visit my father once a month. Like Irene said, I feel like the dead will feel like we don't care if we don't visit, even though that's irrational thinking. The first few times I visited his grave were very tough.
	__________________ Romney/Ryan 2012

06-04-2006, 04:56 PM	#11
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413	I cemeteries It's just a comforting place to be for me
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

06-04-2006, 05:12 PM	#15
Crimson and Clover Member Forum Star Join Date: Jun 09, 2002 Location: NC Posts: 17,345	yeah, me and will are getting married at the cemetery (in the mosoleum)where one of my friends is, on tuesday.