Good Headlines (Humor) - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

tv star collector · 05-25-2006, 08:11 AM

I just received this email from a cousin and had to share .. THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2005:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge
[He probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[Did I read that sign right?]

We all need a good laugh,keep on smiling!

Tuesday Weld · 05-25-2006, 10:53 AM

05-25-2006, 08:11 AM	#1
tv star collector I Love Susie Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 18, 2005 Location: South Carolina Posts: 4,487	Good Headlines (Humor) I just received this email from a cousin and had to share .. THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2005: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!] Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!] War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!] If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?!] Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!] Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!] Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!] Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge [He probably IS the battery charge!] New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!] Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!] Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?] Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!] Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!] And the winner is... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [Did I read that sign right?] We all need a good laugh,keep on smiling!

05-25-2006, 10:53 AM	#2
Tuesday Weld I missed you all. hugs Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 02, 2003 Location: Having a great time. Posts: 22,285
	__________________ Cindy Formerly musicrocksmyworld, ElvisDustyfan and vintagetvgirl. After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager." - William S. Burroughs