I'm so confused. Someone help me. - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 04-05-2006, 09:44 PM

As many of you know I've been miserable lately, and much of that is due to a boy. It seems it only hits me harder and harder everyday and I'm just getting stuck deeper and deeper into a miserable situation. I've officially established that love is the biggest pain of them all.

So I know I have to do something. I can't let myself feel like this forever, and I'm so sick of the pain. So I'm setting up options for myself. Just...give me your opinion or even suggest another idea. I'm so messed up right now.

1)Force it away. I've tried before, but maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I could just...stop talking to him as much. Maybe it'll fade away that way. I mean, we ARE friends, but we're not that close. It'll hurt, but I'm already in pain so what does it matter.

2)In fact do the opposite and try to get closer to him...and maybe hope for a miracle. That's what I've been trying to do lately, but the downside of this one is that...you realize how much you like this person and yet they don't like you back. They like someone else. And that hurts equally as bad.

3) Bury myself in a hole and plan to slowly disintegrate there until I die?

I can't tell him. I can't face rejection, I can't handle it at all. And not only that, since I'm almost positive he likes someone else...it might only upset him or make him feel bad. I don't want to do that either. Someone kill me, thanks.

TheGreatPretender · 04-05-2006, 09:49 PM

Just tell him. Seriously, write a note email or maybe ask one of your friends to tell him. Trust me I tried that before and the guy was with someone else and it felt so much better to let all these feelings go and he didn't even like me back. It just felt so good to put it all behind me and forget about him. Just explain how you feel. Seriously the worst he could say is "yuck" or "no". Rejection sucks but its better than having these feelings of love but yet misery plague you 24/7. And if he is a friend he will probably be more understanding. Face your fears.

Thats my best advice.

EmoJoe · 04-05-2006, 09:50 PM

yeah, telling him could solve it. #2 could work too...

or even #1. just dont do #3.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 04-05-2006, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreatPretender

Just tell him. Seriously, write a note email or maybe ask one of your friends to tell him. Trust me I tried that before and the guy was with someone else and it felt so much better to let all these feelings go and he didn't even like me back I just put it behind him. Just explain how you feel. Seriously the worst he could say is "yuck" or "no" Rejection sucks but its better than having these feelings of love but yet misery plague you 24/7.

But I'm worried things will be weird between us after that :/ Ugh, I don't know. You're probably right but I'm a coward.

Number 9 Dream · 04-05-2006, 09:50 PM

Hey,

I'm really sorry you're going through something so painful. I totally understand and can relate to this feeling in every way, believe me. It's like being on an emotional roller coaster every day

I guess the first thing I need to ask you is this: Has he ever dropped any hints that he might be interested in you in more than a friendly way? 'Cause if that was the case, you might be able to play it out from there, providing he in fact doesn't like this other person. Maybe as more time goes by, he might get a little more courage and decide to approach you with how he feels.

Otherwise, the only thing I can suggest to you is to do your #1 choice--try to pull away and hope it doesn't hurt anymore.

Best of luck to you

I'm going through almost exactly the same thing you are (except I do think this person likes me....but, eh, it's a little more complicated than that), so I know how you feel.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 04-05-2006, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Number 9 Dream

Hey,

I'm really sorry you're going through something so painful. I totally understand and can relate to this feeling in every way, believe me. It's like being on an emotional roller coaster every day

I guess the first thing I need to ask you is this: Has he ever dropped any hints that he might be interested in you in more than a friendly way? 'Cause if that was the case, you might be able to play it out from there, providing he in fact doesn't like this other person.

Otherwise, the only thing I can suggest to you is to do your #1 choice--try to pull away and hope it doesn't hurt anymore.

Best of luck to you

I'm going through almost exactly the same thing you are (except I do think this person likes me....but, eh, it's a little more complicated than that), so I know how you feel.

Honestly, the reason I became interested in this person (which was over a year ago, by the way) was because I thought he liked me. He seemed to act weird around me...but then...after awhile I began to realize he kind of just acts that way around everyone. That's just how he is. But really, who knows? I doubt it, but ugh.

EmoJoe · 04-05-2006, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

But I'm worried things will be weird between us after that :/ Ugh, I don't know. You're probably right but I'm a coward.

yeah thats true. it may be

BUT it could also make you feel better that you let it out. just to get it off your chest

sorry im not really good with this type of stuff :-/

Number 9 Dream · 04-05-2006, 09:54 PM

That can be really confusing, definitely. This may sound stupid, but have you ever had another person ask if he was interested in you? (Not in such a direct way, but you know what I mean).

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

Honestly, the reason I became interested in this person (which was over a year ago, by the way) was because I thought he liked me. He seemed to act weird around me...but then...after awhile I began to realize he kind of just acts that way around everyone. That's just how he is. But really, who knows? I doubt it, but ugh.

TheGreatPretender · 04-05-2006, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

But I'm worried things will be weird between us after that :/ Ugh, I don't know. You're probably right but I'm a coward.

Well just explain to him that if the feelings are not mutual that you just want to put it behind you and you don't want it to affect your friendship. It's not that weird, it's common for friends to crush on eachother.

EmoJoe · 04-05-2006, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Number 9 Dream

That can be really confusing, definitely. This may sound stupid, but have you ever had another person ask if he was interested in you? (Not in such a direct way, but you know what I mean).

yeah it is confusing to tell if someone likes you or not...and its reallllly hard to have the guts to ask them if they do. but yeah it could help

i agree, just tell him you dont want it to affect the friendship

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 04-05-2006, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Number 9 Dream

That can be really confusing, definitely. This may sound stupid, but have you ever had another person ask if he was interested in you? (Not in such a direct way, but you know what I mean).

No, I'm terrified of even hinting at it. Besides, as time goes on the more I doubt it. I'm hopeless

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 04-05-2006, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe: Texas Smurftractor

yeah thats true. it may be

BUT it could also make you feel better that you let it out. just to get it off your chest

sorry im not really good with this type of stuff :-/

lol no, I like to hear what people have to say. Thanks for caring and talking with me about it, to all of you

Number 9 Dream · 04-05-2006, 09:59 PM

Hmm, this may sound stupid (again), but I found out this other person liked me when we were playing a truth game online (we were just bored and asking each other truth type questions...I'm pathetic). But, anyway, she pretty much asked me "Who would you date in our group of friends?" (they were all girls..I'm bi), and I said her name and she agreed that she'd date me too.

So maybe you could ask him something like that in a sorta roundabout way (not exactly like that, but something similar) or have a friend do it. Ask hypotheticals, so you can always play it off as a joke if it blows up in your face, you know?

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 04-05-2006, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreatPretender

Well just explain to him that if the feelings are not mutual that you just want to put it behind you and you don't want it to affect your friendship. It's not that weird, it's common for friends to crush on eachother.

That'd actually be a good idea, but it'd take forever for me to get up the nerve. Good Lord, why am I such a baby?

And honestly, I don't know how I'd handle the feeling if he said no. I think I just don't say anything so I don't have to face that rejection, truthfully.

Number 9 Dream · 04-05-2006, 10:00 PM

Aw! I know exactly how you feel....it hurts a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

No, I'm terrified of even hinting at it. Besides, as time goes on the more I doubt it. I'm hopeless

04-05-2006, 09:44 PM	#1
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,524	I'm so confused. Someone help me. As many of you know I've been miserable lately, and much of that is due to a boy. It seems it only hits me harder and harder everyday and I'm just getting stuck deeper and deeper into a miserable situation. I've officially established that love is the biggest pain of them all. So I know I have to do something. I can't let myself feel like this forever, and I'm so sick of the pain. So I'm setting up options for myself. Just...give me your opinion or even suggest another idea. I'm so messed up right now. 1)Force it away. I've tried before, but maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I could just...stop talking to him as much. Maybe it'll fade away that way. I mean, we ARE friends, but we're not that close. It'll hurt, but I'm already in pain so what does it matter. 2)In fact do the opposite and try to get closer to him...and maybe hope for a miracle. That's what I've been trying to do lately, but the downside of this one is that...you realize how much you like this person and yet they don't like you back. They like someone else. And that hurts equally as bad. 3) Bury myself in a hole and plan to slowly disintegrate there until I die? I can't tell him. I can't face rejection, I can't handle it at all. And not only that, since I'm almost positive he likes someone else...it might only upset him or make him feel bad. I don't want to do that either. Someone kill me, thanks.
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

04-05-2006, 09:50 PM	#5
Number 9 Dream That '70s Girl Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 18, 2005 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,875	Hey, I'm really sorry you're going through something so painful. I totally understand and can relate to this feeling in every way, believe me. It's like being on an emotional roller coaster every day I guess the first thing I need to ask you is this: Has he ever dropped any hints that he might be interested in you in more than a friendly way? 'Cause if that was the case, you might be able to play it out from there, providing he in fact doesn't like this other person. Maybe as more time goes by, he might get a little more courage and decide to approach you with how he feels. Otherwise, the only thing I can suggest to you is to do your #1 choice--try to pull away and hope it doesn't hurt anymore. Best of luck to you I'm going through almost exactly the same thing you are (except I do think this person likes me....but, eh, it's a little more complicated than that), so I know how you feel.
	__________________ Live a little be a gypsy get around http://www.librarything.com/profile/skelterhelter http://retrogirl82.dvdaf.com/owned formerly Retrogirl82

04-05-2006, 09:49 PM	#2
TheGreatPretender just because Forum Veteran Join Date: May 22, 2004 Location: Trying to think of a creative, witty location. Posts: 7,628	Just tell him. Seriously, write a note email or maybe ask one of your friends to tell him. Trust me I tried that before and the guy was with someone else and it felt so much better to let all these feelings go and he didn't even like me back. It just felt so good to put it all behind me and forget about him. Just explain how you feel. Seriously the worst he could say is "yuck" or "no". Rejection sucks but its better than having these feelings of love but yet misery plague you 24/7. And if he is a friend he will probably be more understanding. Face your fears. Thats my best advice.
	__________________ Peace is a good thing and so is salmon when it's smoked

04-05-2006, 09:50 PM	#3
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,470	yeah, telling him could solve it. #2 could work too... or even #1. just dont do #3.
	__________________ "I know the difference between TV and reality, Jeff. TV has structure, it makes sense, there are likable leading men. In real life, we have this. We have you." - Abed Nadir, Community www.sitcomsarestupid.blogspot.com

04-05-2006, 09:59 PM	#13
Number 9 Dream That '70s Girl Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 18, 2005 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,875	Hmm, this may sound stupid (again), but I found out this other person liked me when we were playing a truth game online (we were just bored and asking each other truth type questions...I'm pathetic). But, anyway, she pretty much asked me "Who would you date in our group of friends?" (they were all girls..I'm bi), and I said her name and she agreed that she'd date me too. So maybe you could ask him something like that in a sorta roundabout way (not exactly like that, but something similar) or have a friend do it. Ask hypotheticals, so you can always play it off as a joke if it blows up in your face, you know?