Top 40 Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

swedeace · 03-24-2006, 06:05 PM

Got this in an email....

Top 40 Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say

40. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrestling's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who cares who won the Civil War?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spitting is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate.
8. NASCAR really isn't a sport.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. You all.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, darlin.'
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight.

Polniaczek033 · 03-24-2006, 06:24 PM

HAHAHAHAHA.
it's so funny because my town is filled with rednecks, and i am trying to think of them saying some of this stuff.

Cactus Jack · 03-24-2006, 07:07 PM

:rotflamO;

How about 41

41. Im gonna make a box office flop about me being a health inspector!

Courtnee · 03-24-2006, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack: Texas Smurftractor

41. Im gonna make a box office flop about me being a health inspector!

GIT ER DONEEEE!!!1

Cactus Jack · 03-24-2006, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rock Princess

GIT ER DONEEEE!!!1

I thought you hated Laryr the Cable Guy

Courtnee · 03-24-2006, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack: Texas Smurftractor

I thought you hated Laryr the Cable Guy

nahhhh he's mmk

Cactus Jack · 03-24-2006, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rock Princess

nahhhh he's mmk

Ah, but you made that thread last year about if he was ********

EmoJoe · 03-24-2006, 10:40 PM

Courtnee · 03-24-2006, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack: Texas Smurftractor

Ah, but you made that thread last year about if he was ********

I've changed my mind

dawsongirl · 03-25-2006, 02:37 AM

42. I need to get that old car out of the backyard.

Chelsea · 03-25-2006, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedeace

38. Duct tape won't fix that.

Honestly, I'm convinced that all you need to survive in life are drinking and food sources, WD-40, and duct tape....[please don't drink the WD-40 or eat the duct tape...]

~*Hannah_Lee*~ · 03-25-2006, 02:59 AM

That's really hilarious. What's even funnier is that I know people who that would apply to.

Disney Guru · 03-26-2006, 04:27 AM

OMG,

LOL that is funny but yet scary. That applies to a lot of my dad's redneck, country bumpkin friends. Who between them don't have the intelligence of a flea lol.

Dude111 · 12-20-2023, 02:50 AM

I wonder if Im a redneck??

I might say 10 of em!!

Ah man!!

Penny Lane · 12-20-2023, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dude111

I wonder if Im a redneck??

I might say 10 of em!!

Ah man!!

We always knew you were Dude!

Just kidding!

03-24-2006, 06:05 PM	#1
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Top 40 Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say Got this in an email.... Top 40 Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say 40. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won't fix that. 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan. 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 35. We don't keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You can't feed that to the dog. 32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. 30. Wrestling's fake. 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 28. We're vegetarians. 27. Do you think my gut is too big? 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. 25. Honey, we don't need another dog. 24. Who cares who won the Civil War? 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 21. Spitting is such a nasty habit. 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today. 19. Trim the fat off that steak. 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 17. The tires on that truck are too big. 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. 15. I've got it all on the C drive. 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled? 12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. 9. Checkmate. 8. NASCAR really isn't a sport. 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 5. I don't have a favorite college team. 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 3. You all. 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, darlin.' 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight.

03-24-2006, 06:24 PM	#2
Polniaczek033 believe. Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 26, 2002 Location: edinboro. Posts: 4,634	HAHAHAHAHA. it's so funny because my town is filled with rednecks, and i am trying to think of them saying some of this stuff.
	__________________ mindfulness.

03-24-2006, 07:07 PM	#3
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099	:rotflamO; How about 41 41. Im gonna make a box office flop about me being a health inspector!
	__________________ Id Love to help you Tracy, but I cant have sex with a black guy, Id lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR-Jenna Maroney,30 Rock April 17,2009 9:02 PM : 100,000th post!

03-24-2006, 10:40 PM	#8
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,478
	__________________ "I know the difference between TV and reality, Jeff. TV has structure, it makes sense, there are likable leading men. In real life, we have this. We have you." - Abed Nadir, Community www.sitcomsarestupid.blogspot.com

03-25-2006, 02:59 AM	#12
~Hannah_Lee~ Let's dance in style Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 09, 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 7,358	That's really hilarious. What's even funnier is that I know people who that would apply to.
	__________________ Some are like water, some are like the heat Some are a melody and some are the beat. Sooner or later they all will be gone. Why don't they stay young? It's so hard to get old without a cause. I don't want to perish like a fleeing horse. Youth is like diamonds in the sun, And diamonds are forever. Forever young, I want to be forever young. Do you really want to live forever?

03-25-2006, 02:37 AM	#10
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	42. I need to get that old car out of the backyard.

03-26-2006, 04:27 AM	#13
Disney Guru Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Aug 28, 2005 Location: Mormon Country Posts: 56	OMG, LOL that is funny but yet scary. That applies to a lot of my dad's redneck, country bumpkin friends. Who between them don't have the intelligence of a flea lol.

12-20-2023, 02:50 AM	#14
Dude111 Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 05, 2013 Posts: 36,486	I wonder if Im a redneck?? I might say 10 of em!! Ah man!!