The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

FSwenson · 03-14-2006, 01:34 PM

I have a number of little stories to share, and I hope that others will be inclined to add more stories from their own lines of work.

First let me give you a little background info:

I work in a college registrars office for a school called Eisenhower University - see http://www.eisenhoweruniversity.com. My division deals with prior learning assessment and evaluation for people with work experience and/or previous college credits that they could apply to an Eisenhower degree. Every day our office gets calls and emails from all around the country, and I have the pleasure of speaking to a number of upstanding individuals who think they could get a Master's Degree in Engineering because they once "built a do-it-yourself radio kit." While we offer degrees in many majors, we're not going to give you an Accounting Degree because your aunt is an accountant and you once balanced your own checkbook.

- Story 1 -

Earlier today I had a call from some redneck wanting to apply with us. During the conversation this is what transpired:

Me: May I have your zip code please?

Him: Zip code? You mean 804?

Me: Oh, I'm sorry I meant your 5 digit zip code

Him: Hold on, HONEY!! WHATS THE ZIP CODE!!

Me: *pause*

Him: We don't know, I just want to sign up for the PLA program

Me: Absolutely. I will be happy to help you further; what state do you live in?

Him: STATE? the UNITED STATES!

- Story 2 -

Often we'll get clueless people who are so out of touch with technology that its laughable. Here's a snippet from a conversation with a 40 year old guy about applying for our program online.

Me: What version of Windows are you running?

Them: Hold on, let me check.

Me: OK.

Them: They're thermal.

Me: I...I beg your pardon?

Them: The windows are thermal.

Me: ...

- Story 3 -

Last week a lady called in who was having trouble accessing her student account on our website. I don't know why she called our office, since tech support is a different division entirely. But after a little trial and error we were able to get her account fixed and everything squared away. The tail end of our conversation went like this:

Me: Well, seems like everything is working, is there anything else I can help you with?

Her: Yeah, don't use anti-perspirant! Wanna know why?

Me: Not really, but I bet you're going to tell me.

Her: Because it causes cancer! Look at the first ingredient, it's aluminum! It gives you the cancer!

Me: Well, that's good to know ma'am, have a good day!

Her: Wait!! Do you know why 9/11 really happened? George Bush ordered it! There were secret Nesara computers in the sub-sections underneath the WTC!

Me: Wow, amazing.

Her: I'm part of this secret agency tied to Nesara, and we're planning on overthrowing the government! Here's a few links you should check out, and tell all your friends about!

Me: Will do ma'am, thank you for calling.

Her: No no! Wait! Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara !!!!!!

The call lasted about 40 minutes after I fixed her problem, and since I can't hang up on students I had to sit there and listen to these awesome stories. She went on and on about Nesara, and how I should watch the news because something huge was going to happen in the next few days. Of course nothing did. God I love my job.

Chocoholic · 03-14-2006, 06:02 PM

I worked as a cashier in a supermarket for five years and I could never get over just how clueless or just plain rude some people can be. Some of my favorites...

1. I'd be wearing a work uniform with a nametag that has the store's logo on it. Customer walks up to me and asks, "Do you work here?"
1a. I'm in a store (not the one I used to work at) and people ask me if I work there, even though what I'm wearing looks nothing like what the employees are wearing and I'm carrying my purse and and pushing a shopping cart.

2. I'd be standing at my register with my light on and a customer would come up to me and ask if I was open. Of course, when I'd have my light off and "register closed" sign up and I'd be helping the last customer in line, they'd try to get in my line anyway and throw a hissy fit if I told them I was closing.

3. Some people just can't do basic elementary school math. We'd have stuff marked at 3 for $1, 2 for $5, etc. and people would ask me something like, "How much for one?"

4. Some people will walk past the store hours post at the entrace, hear the announcement that the store is closing in 15 minutes, and would ask me, "What time do you close?"

5. I had this guy one time who was really pissed off that I couldn't accept his expired coupons for free cat food. He told me his "little babies" were going to starve to death because of me because I wouldn't let him get free cat food and that he hoped I could live with that thought for the rest of my life. I just told him I hate cats.

Never saw him again, thankfully.

dawsongirl · 03-14-2006, 06:55 PM

I can't think of anything specific, but I have seen things that defy normal common sense. People that don't read signs in front of their face (the sign says, please use handicap door...they look around and have no idea that it's right next to them on the left)...people who don't understand the concept of a revolving door...people who push on an obviously locked door thinking it'll go somewhere...people who can't tell their right from their left...people who don't even know why they're there (I mean, who goes to a doctor without knowing why??)

I had one lady argue with me over some pills. They put them at my desk downstairs, but this lady didn't come when she was supposed to, so my boss, not liking the idea of us being pill keepers anyway, too them back upstairs. This lady, who I could tell was just too damn lazy to ride the elevator, argued with me about it. I told her it was my boss' doing, but she had to keep arguing about how she had picked up stuff there before. Gawd...how many times do you have to tell a person the same thing before they accept it?? pissed: I remember rolling my eyes before I finally called upstairs...so then she asks me if I get paid to do this job.

dawsongirl · 03-14-2006, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homeriffic

5. I had this guy one time who was really pissed off that I couldn't accept his expired coupons for free cat food. He told me his "little babies" were going to starve to death because of me because I wouldn't let him get free cat food and that he hoped I could live with that thought for the rest of my life. I just told him I hate cats.

Never saw him again, thankfully.

What a loser.

dawsongirl · 03-14-2006, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSwenson

I have a number of little stories to share, and I hope that others will be inclined to add more stories from their own lines of work.

OMG....

Karen64 · 03-15-2006, 09:17 AM

OK, this is a dumb thing I've heard AS a customer...was in a KFC by myself ordering 2 large family size buckets of fried chicken, and some large family-size cole slaw, before going out to the lake to meet a bunch of friends and family--they didn't have a drive-through, so I had to go in.
The guy at the counter said, "is that for here or to go?"
I just gave him a smile that said, "are you kidding?"

Hollow · 03-15-2006, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homeriffic

5. I had this guy one time who was really pissed off that I couldn't accept his expired coupons for free cat food. He told me his "little babies" were going to starve to death because of me because I wouldn't let him get free cat food and that he hoped I could live with that thought for the rest of my life. I just told him I hate cats.

Never saw him again, thankfully.

omg, why don't i ever see these kinds of things happen in real life?

this thread appears to be spam, by the way. that "background info" is a mere advertisement blended in with the rest of the post, which was meant to make it look like an amusing conversation thread; no coincidence that it's the guy's only post on here either. i wonder if they read about doing that in a book of tips for spamming or something. sneaky little f

ck, i tell ye.

MsOrange · 03-15-2006, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by safety pin

this thread appears to be spam, by the way. that "background info" is a mere advertisement blended in with the rest of the post, which was meant to make it look like an amusing conversation thread; no coincidence that it's the guy's only post on here either. i wonder if they read about doing that in a book of tips for spamming or something. sneaky little f

ck, i tell ye.

i was going to post something along those lines, but dind't, i got lazy. I didn't even click on the link here at work because I was afraid it'd be like "Howards University of Tits" or something

FSwenson · 03-15-2006, 12:12 PM

Uh, this wasn't a spam thread guys. Eisenhower is pretty well known, and also offer traditional classes that involve lectures and homework.

I have more stories if you guys are interested. I have something important to do at the moment, but I'll probably be back later tonight.

03-14-2006, 01:34 PM	#1
FSwenson Member Forum Cub Join Date: Mar 14, 2006 Posts: 2	The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer I have a number of little stories to share, and I hope that others will be inclined to add more stories from their own lines of work. First let me give you a little background info: I work in a college registrars office for a school called Eisenhower University - see http://www.eisenhoweruniversity.com. My division deals with prior learning assessment and evaluation for people with work experience and/or previous college credits that they could apply to an Eisenhower degree. Every day our office gets calls and emails from all around the country, and I have the pleasure of speaking to a number of upstanding individuals who think they could get a Master's Degree in Engineering because they once "built a do-it-yourself radio kit." While we offer degrees in many majors, we're not going to give you an Accounting Degree because your aunt is an accountant and you once balanced your own checkbook. - Story 1 - Earlier today I had a call from some redneck wanting to apply with us. During the conversation this is what transpired: Me: May I have your zip code please? Him: Zip code? You mean 804? Me: Oh, I'm sorry I meant your 5 digit zip code Him: Hold on, HONEY!! WHATS THE ZIP CODE!! Me: pause Him: We don't know, I just want to sign up for the PLA program Me: Absolutely. I will be happy to help you further; what state do you live in? Him: STATE? the UNITED STATES! - Story 2 - Often we'll get clueless people who are so out of touch with technology that its laughable. Here's a snippet from a conversation with a 40 year old guy about applying for our program online. Me: What version of Windows are you running? Them: Hold on, let me check. Me: OK. Them: They're thermal. Me: I...I beg your pardon? Them: The windows are thermal. Me: ... - Story 3 - Last week a lady called in who was having trouble accessing her student account on our website. I don't know why she called our office, since tech support is a different division entirely. But after a little trial and error we were able to get her account fixed and everything squared away. The tail end of our conversation went like this: Me: Well, seems like everything is working, is there anything else I can help you with? Her: Yeah, don't use anti-perspirant! Wanna know why? Me: Not really, but I bet you're going to tell me. Her: Because it causes cancer! Look at the first ingredient, it's aluminum! It gives you the cancer! Me: Well, that's good to know ma'am, have a good day! Her: Wait!! Do you know why 9/11 really happened? George Bush ordered it! There were secret Nesara computers in the sub-sections underneath the WTC! Me: Wow, amazing. Her: I'm part of this secret agency tied to Nesara, and we're planning on overthrowing the government! Here's a few links you should check out, and tell all your friends about! Me: Will do ma'am, thank you for calling. Her: No no! Wait! Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara !!!!!! The call lasted about 40 minutes after I fixed her problem, and since I can't hang up on students I had to sit there and listen to these awesome stories. She went on and on about Nesara, and how I should watch the news because something huge was going to happen in the next few days. Of course nothing did. God I love my job.

03-15-2006, 09:17 AM	#6
Karen64 Comedy Fan Senior Member Join Date: Mar 24, 2001 Location: Kansas Posts: 1,412	OK, this is a dumb thing I've heard AS a customer...was in a KFC by myself ordering 2 large family size buckets of fried chicken, and some large family-size cole slaw, before going out to the lake to meet a bunch of friends and family--they didn't have a drive-through, so I had to go in. The guy at the counter said, "is that for here or to go?" I just gave him a smile that said, "are you kidding?"
	__________________ Freddie, there will never be another you....

03-14-2006, 06:02 PM	#2
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	I worked as a cashier in a supermarket for five years and I could never get over just how clueless or just plain rude some people can be. Some of my favorites... 1. I'd be wearing a work uniform with a nametag that has the store's logo on it. Customer walks up to me and asks, "Do you work here?" 1a. I'm in a store (not the one I used to work at) and people ask me if I work there, even though what I'm wearing looks nothing like what the employees are wearing and I'm carrying my purse and and pushing a shopping cart. 2. I'd be standing at my register with my light on and a customer would come up to me and ask if I was open. Of course, when I'd have my light off and "register closed" sign up and I'd be helping the last customer in line, they'd try to get in my line anyway and throw a hissy fit if I told them I was closing. 3. Some people just can't do basic elementary school math. We'd have stuff marked at 3 for $1, 2 for $5, etc. and people would ask me something like, "How much for one?" 4. Some people will walk past the store hours post at the entrace, hear the announcement that the store is closing in 15 minutes, and would ask me, "What time do you close?" 5. I had this guy one time who was really pissed off that I couldn't accept his expired coupons for free cat food. He told me his "little babies" were going to starve to death because of me because I wouldn't let him get free cat food and that he hoped I could live with that thought for the rest of my life. I just told him I hate cats. Never saw him again, thankfully.

03-14-2006, 06:55 PM	#3
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I can't think of anything specific, but I have seen things that defy normal common sense. People that don't read signs in front of their face (the sign says, please use handicap door...they look around and have no idea that it's right next to them on the left)...people who don't understand the concept of a revolving door...people who push on an obviously locked door thinking it'll go somewhere...people who can't tell their right from their left...people who don't even know why they're there (I mean, who goes to a doctor without knowing why??) I had one lady argue with me over some pills. They put them at my desk downstairs, but this lady didn't come when she was supposed to, so my boss, not liking the idea of us being pill keepers anyway, too them back upstairs. This lady, who I could tell was just too damn lazy to ride the elevator, argued with me about it. I told her it was my boss' doing, but she had to keep arguing about how she had picked up stuff there before. Gawd...how many times do you have to tell a person the same thing before they accept it?? pissed: I remember rolling my eyes before I finally called upstairs...so then she asks me if I get paid to do this job.

03-15-2006, 12:12 PM	#9
FSwenson Member Forum Cub Join Date: Mar 14, 2006 Posts: 2	Uh, this wasn't a spam thread guys. Eisenhower is pretty well known, and also offer traditional classes that involve lectures and homework. I have more stories if you guys are interested. I have something important to do at the moment, but I'll probably be back later tonight.