Solomon Shorts - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Nighthawk76 · 03-01-2006, 10:45 PM

These different Solomon Shorts are taken from the novels A Matter For Men and A Rage For Revenge by David Gerrrold. Most of them are meant as jokes.

1. "The most important invention in the history of the human race is the written contract. It makes it possible for individual parties to list all the different ways they distrust each other."

2. "There is no such thing as the absolute truth. That is absolutely true."

3. "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerious weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." (written in 1983)

4. "History is written by the survivors."

5. "Cats don't adopt people. They adopt refrigerators."

6. "History is full of revisionists. Where it used to say, 'THOU SHALT NOT KILL' it now says 'except as specified in section III-B, Paragraph 12, Sub-section D, Schedule 3." If that still doesn't suit you, wait until next year's commandments come out and trade it for something that does."

7. "You are NOT entitled to an opinion. An opinion is what you have when you don't have any facts. When you have the facts, you don't need an opinion."

8. "A diploma proves only that you know how to look up an answer."

9. "The Constitution of the United States guarantees every individual the right to make a damn fool out of himself-in public or private, however he chooses."

10. "A lot of what I say comes off as political satire. In that, I have a lot in common with congress."

11. "The minute you start to analyze why sex feels so good, it stops feeling good and starts feeling silly."

12. "People don't hire lawyers because they want justice. People hire lawyers because they want revenge."

13. "No one is afraid to die without first being afraid to live."

Ireneparalegal · 03-01-2006, 10:47 PM

i thought this was a thread abt Solomon (tvresearcher) and his clothes...LOL seriously@!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 03-01-2006, 10:54 PM

"Good times is not a spin-off of Maude."

Ireneparalegal · 03-01-2006, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

"Good times is not a spin-off of Maude."

"popcorn or nachos?"

Number 9 Dream · 03-01-2006, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

"popcorn or nachos?"

Moonlight Lady · 03-01-2006, 11:21 PM

TGI Fridays or Red Lobster

Ireneparalegal · 03-01-2006, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond Girl

TGI Fridays or Red Lobster

Becky or Molly?

Jonathan · 03-01-2006, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

i thought this was a thread abt Solomon (tvresearcher) and his clothes...LOL seriously@!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh Irene, you beat me to it.

Ireneparalegal · 03-01-2006, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Golden*Gilmore

Gosh Irene, you beat me to it.

LOL...I am serious, i for sure thought it had to do with him...what the shorts was all abt made me curious!

Jonathan · 03-01-2006, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

LOL...I am serious, i for sure thought it had to do with him...what the shorts was all abt made me curious!

Same here.

Nighthawk76 · 03-01-2006, 11:48 PM

This wasn't meant to be a thread about SO's very own Solomon. I called the thread "Solomon Shorts" because that is what they are called in the two novels that they come from.

Oh well, the point of the thread was to make people laugh. And I guess it is doing that. Just not in the way that I intended.

Ireneparalegal · 03-01-2006, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamiGertzFan

This wasn't meant to be a thread about SO's very own Solomon. I called the thread "Solomon Shorts" because that is what they are called in the two novels that they come from.

Oh well, the point of the thread was to make people laugh. And I guess it is doing that. Just not in the way that I intended.

OMG, your first post was sooooo funny, i enjoyed reading those 'shorts'. I was laughing as I read it. good to know you have a sense of humor abt this.

KristinHerreraFan · 03-02-2006, 12:05 AM

wow

dawsongirl · 03-02-2006, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamiGertzFan

1. "The most important invention in the history of the human race is the written contract. It makes it possible for individual parties to list all the different ways they distrust each other."

8. "A diploma proves only that you know how to look up an answer."

12. "People don't hire lawyers because they want justice. People hire lawyers because they want revenge."

Totally.

Dude111 · 10-12-2022, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

i thought this was a thread abt Solomon (tvresearcher) and his clothes...LOL seriously@!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought they came from our friend TVFACTFAN....

Ah man!!

03-01-2006, 10:45 PM	#1
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	Solomon Shorts These different Solomon Shorts are taken from the novels A Matter For Men and A Rage For Revenge by David Gerrrold. Most of them are meant as jokes. 1. "The most important invention in the history of the human race is the written contract. It makes it possible for individual parties to list all the different ways they distrust each other." 2. "There is no such thing as the absolute truth. That is absolutely true." 3. "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerious weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." (written in 1983) 4. "History is written by the survivors." 5. "Cats don't adopt people. They adopt refrigerators." 6. "History is full of revisionists. Where it used to say, 'THOU SHALT NOT KILL' it now says 'except as specified in section III-B, Paragraph 12, Sub-section D, Schedule 3." If that still doesn't suit you, wait until next year's commandments come out and trade it for something that does." 7. "You are NOT entitled to an opinion. An opinion is what you have when you don't have any facts. When you have the facts, you don't need an opinion." 8. "A diploma proves only that you know how to look up an answer." 9. "The Constitution of the United States guarantees every individual the right to make a damn fool out of himself-in public or private, however he chooses." 10. "A lot of what I say comes off as political satire. In that, I have a lot in common with congress." 11. "The minute you start to analyze why sex feels so good, it stops feeling good and starts feeling silly." 12. "People don't hire lawyers because they want justice. People hire lawyers because they want revenge." 13. "No one is afraid to die without first being afraid to live."

03-01-2006, 10:47 PM	#2
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	i thought this was a thread abt Solomon (tvresearcher) and his clothes...LOL seriously@!!!!!!!!!!!!!
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

03-01-2006, 10:54 PM	#3
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	"Good times is not a spin-off of Maude."
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

03-01-2006, 11:21 PM	#6
Moonlight Lady Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 18, 2002 Posts: 16,052	TGI Fridays or Red Lobster
	__________________ [

03-02-2006, 12:05 AM	#13
KristinHerreraFan Dana is Buena Senior Member Join Date: Jan 16, 2005 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 2,791	wow
	__________________ Signed, >>>>Kristin Herrera Fan

03-01-2006, 11:48 PM	#11
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	This wasn't meant to be a thread about SO's very own Solomon. I called the thread "Solomon Shorts" because that is what they are called in the two novels that they come from. Oh well, the point of the thread was to make people laugh. And I guess it is doing that. Just not in the way that I intended.