When is "being too proud" being too foolish?

[Ireneparalegal]

It really irritated the hell outta me when James always said he was too proud.
Wanda, in the "rent party" who doesn't "take charity". Give me a f****** break.

At what point does one need to be before they can accept the help that is being offered????

I have been in a situation where finances were real bad and I had friends who helped me out and believe me, I am not gonna take it the wrong way. It feels good knowing people care. I am blessed to be in a situation where finances is not a problem...but i don't forget that period of time and so whenever I see someone who needs help, I give it.

I am the first one to offer assistance to anyone who may need it. I offer even if they haven't asked. I just don't get it. Anyone else feel like this? even if you don't, I would like to hear your opinion.

[TVFactFan]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

It really irritated the hell outta me when James always said he was too proud.
Wanda, in the "rent party" who doesn't "take charity". Give me a f****** break.

At what point does one need to be before they can accept the help that is being offered????

I have been in a situation where finances were real bad and I had friends who helped me out and believe me, I am not gonna take it the wrong way. It feels good knowing people care. I am blessed to be in a situation where finances is not a problem...but i don't forget that period of time and so whenever I see someone who needs help, I give it.

I am the first one to offer assistance to anyone who may need it. I offer even if they haven't asked. I just don't get it. Anyone else feel like this? even if you don't, I would like to hear your opinion.

When your refrigerator becomes a 200 pound IC MAKER instead of a place that holds Food-lol

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by TVResearcher

When your refrigerator becomes a 200 pound IC MAKER instead of a place that holds Food-lol

Plain and simple...

[GARFIELDKOOL]

It tripped me out how they never accepted charity, as well. In episode, "Getting Up the Rent" Florida claimed getting welfare was embarrassing. I never thought someone with her character would say something like that about public assistance. It made me wonder if being on welfare was bad. Florida and James were too old fashioned.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by GARFIELDKOOL

It tripped me out how they never accepted charity, as well. In episode, "Getting Up the Rent" Florida claimed getting welfare was embarrassing. I never thought someone with her character would say something like that about public assistance. It made me wonder if being on welfare was bad. Florida and James were too old fashioned.

I believe that when Flo said that, it was really James talking. He had probably told her so many times, that it was engrained in her head that way.

James wouldn't borrow money from Willona when she offered in "Getting up the rent"..."i don't take no charity"...whatever
HOWEVER!!!!! when JJ is in jail on that robbery charge, right away he is willing to accept Willona's offer of $$$$ (she didn't have it, but still he accepted right away)...he was willing to let his family be evicted because of his being "proud"??????? Why was it ok for that reason and not the other?

[CCRYDER1968]

Foolish pride got him NOWHERE

[Ireneparalegal]

Pride cometh before the FALL!!!!! and fall many times he did.

[Brieannas21]

You can't knock the man for trying to take care of his family. Like I said before the kids never wanted for anything. James and Florida did a hellava job with their kids in the environment that they lived in. James could have ran out on his family but he stayed it stuck it out. Yeah he felt as if he could take care of his family alone without any help. But he had asked for money before and he didn't like having to pay someone back. It's not like his family was deprived from anything so I don't knock James, because he was a good man who took care of his family the best way he could.

[JeffRuss1972]

Originally Posted by Brieannas21

You can't knock the man for trying to take care of his family. Like I said before the kids never wanted for anything. James and Florida did a hellava job with their kids in the environment that they lived in. James could have ran out on his family but he stayed it stuck it out. Yeah he felt as if he could take care of his family alone without any help. But he had asked for money before and he didn't like having to pay someone back. It's not like his family was deprived from anything so I don't knock James, because he was a good man who took care of his family the best way he could.

Well said.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by Brieannas21

You can't knock the man for trying to take care of his family. Like I said before the kids never wanted for anything. James and Florida did a hellava job with their kids in the environment that they lived in. James could have ran out on his family but he stayed it stuck it out. Yeah he felt as if he could take care of his family alone without any help. But he had asked for money before and he didn't like having to pay someone back. It's not like his family was deprived from anything so I don't knock James, because he was a good man who took care of his family the best way he could.

He may not have liked paying someone back, but it's either that or take the money as a gift. Paying someone back is not charity. Charity is when something is given to you without the thought of money being paid back. Since James would have to owe money for daily life, what difference would it make whether he owed the rent or owed someone else for the money they loaned him? I know it's not an easy situation to have to ask for or borrow money, especially from friends, but true friends will understand and if they knew you well enough to loan it to you, then, I don't see what the problem is. According to Flo, they borrowed many many times from Cousin Edgar. James may not have liked it, but they did it and they paid all the money back they ever borrowed. I could see if they got money and didn't or couldn't pay it back, but true family and friends do understand. Like i posted before, he didn't have a problem asking Willona for $$$ for one incident, but to make sure his family had a roof over their head, he refused Willona's offer? That was depriving his family of a HOME. Dumb.

[Dr. Thong]

Originally Posted by GARFIELDKOOL

It tripped me out how they never accepted charity, as well. In episode, "Getting Up the Rent" Florida claimed getting welfare was embarrassing. I never thought someone with her character would say something like that about public assistance. It made me wonder if being on welfare was bad. Florida and James were too old fashioned.

James and Florida were old-school, which meant you went to work and earned a living. James Evans was trying to get jobs and better himself and was entitled to public assistance during his down periods, yet felt embarassed by it because perhaps he felt less of a man for having to take it.

Being on welfare isn't bad if it's a short-term transitional thing, but for people who are lazy and make it a lifestyle, it is bad. I think there should be a limit on how much one can receive. Once you've reached your limit, that's it.

The welfare system in this country needs to be overhauled.

[Brieannas21]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

He may not have liked paying someone back, but it's either that or take the money as a gift. Paying someone back is not charity. Charity is when something is given to you without the thought of money being paid back. Since James would have to owe money for daily life, what difference would it make whether he owed the rent or owed someone else for the money they loaned him? I know it's not an easy situation to have to ask for or borrow money, especially from friends, but true friends will understand and if they knew you well enough to loan it to you, then, I don't see what the problem is. According to Flo, they borrowed many many times from Cousin Edgar. James may not have liked it, but they did it and they paid all the money back they ever borrowed. I could see if they got money and didn't or couldn't pay it back, but true family and friends do understand. Like i posted before, he didn't have a problem asking Willona for $$$ for one incident, but to make sure his family had a roof over their head, he refused Willona's offer? That was depriving his family of a HOME. Dumb.

You know I always say, God won't give you anything that you can't handle. And James handled it, he held his own and did a great job. Yes he had a lot of pride but it didn't break his family it made them stronger, you know that if they were on their own that they weren't afraid to go out and work hard. So a little pride never hurts anyone, his family wasn't affected by it in anyway they never went hungry and they always had food on their plate and clothes on their backs. They knew that they could always count on him if they were in trouble. So Florida was a very lucky woman to have found the man that she had.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by Dr. Thong

James and Florida were old-school, which meant you went to work and earned a living. James Evans was trying to get jobs and better himself and was entitled to public assistance during his down periods, yet felt embarassed by it because perhaps he felt less of a man for having to take it.

Being on welfare isn't bad if it's a short-term transitional thing, but for people who are lazy and make it a lifestyle, it is bad. I think there should be a limit on how much one can receive. Once you've reached your limit, that's it.

The welfare system in this country needs to be overhauled.

Well, there is a five year limit on it already. I so agree with you Dr. thong the welfare assistance is there for those who need it TEMPORARILY, til they get back on their feet, maybe a mother who never worked and had a man run out on her, desperate situations, etc. But those who abuse it, make it hard and embarrassing for those who really need it. That's the stigma.
James didn't want charity or a hand out, yet, if it meant he had to hustle at pool with the little bit of money he had, then, better for him to gamble than to go to the welfare...

[Brieannas21]

Back in the 70's when people were on welfare, your councilor would actually to your house and look through your things ( i.e., clothes, refrigerator, closets ) talk to your kids, ask personal questions. And they could drop by whenever they were good and ready without you knowing about it, in the mornings, noon, evenings, nights. So a lot of people would work their asses off so they wouldn't have to go through that for a little bit an of assistance. And back then if you had a job or got a job to make some extra money your benefits were cut or you were taken off all together. So you really couldn't get a job without it affecting your benefits. So people would work odd jobs and get paid under the table. But if the welfare agency found out you could go to jail for fraud and have your benefits taken away. So I can actually see why James would work 5 jobs at a time, it really wasn't worth it.

[Janice]

I don't know how it was supposed to be in the housing project where they lived. Where I live, the projects are subsidized by the government. If that was the case with the Evans' family, James was accepting government help....as opposed to living in a regular house or apartment and paying higher rent.