Mr. Common Sense Has Died - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Family Ties Forever! · 01-17-2006, 05:19 AM

In an e-mail:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, then she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Chocoholic · 01-17-2006, 09:37 AM

Bye, Common Sense, I really will miss you. I wish you and your parents, your wife, your son, and your daughter were still with us.

dawsongirl · 01-17-2006, 03:42 PM

COME BACK!!!!!!!

Nighthawk76 · 01-17-2006, 06:25 PM

EmoJoe · 01-17-2006, 06:56 PM

i miss him already

Courtnee · 01-17-2006, 08:07 PM

Polniaczek033 · 01-17-2006, 09:27 PM

tina barta's man · 01-22-2006, 01:12 AM

rip

ABlairican Pie · 01-22-2006, 02:54 AM

Hollow · 01-22-2006, 03:34 AM

lol, that's great. i don't think humans are stupid for nothing.

80sTrivia · 01-22-2006, 08:45 AM

Amen to that...

Brian Damage · 01-20-2007, 11:15 AM

Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a
6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
Parental consent to administer sun lotion or a Band-Aid to a student;
but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments Became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is
To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Janice · 01-20-2007, 11:52 AM

That's hilarious. I was waiting for a jab at the perpetually offended people of the world. The ones who wake up with a chip on their shoulder, looking for reasons to get offended or pissed off. A swipe at the race baiters would have been good too.

Brian Damage · 01-20-2007, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

That's hilarious. I was waiting for a jab at the perpetually offended people of the world. The ones who wake up with a chip on their shoulder, looking for reasons to get offended or pissed off. A swipe at the race baiters would have been good too.

Unfortunately, those people are ALIVE and living strong. lol

TJL · 01-20-2007, 12:10 PM

I wish I could help bring back common sense, but apathy killed motivation a long time ago.

Poor motivation. He never saw it coming.

01-17-2006, 05:19 AM	#1
Family Ties Forever! Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 16, 2002 Location: Keaton residence Posts: 10,214	Mr. Common Sense Has Died In an e-mail: Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, then she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge financial settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
	__________________ Jenny

01-17-2006, 06:56 PM	#5
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,478	i miss him already
	__________________ "I know the difference between TV and reality, Jeff. TV has structure, it makes sense, there are likable leading men. In real life, we have this. We have you." - Abed Nadir, Community www.sitcomsarestupid.blogspot.com

01-17-2006, 08:07 PM	#6
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

01-17-2006, 09:27 PM	#7
Polniaczek033 believe. Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 26, 2002 Location: edinboro. Posts: 4,634
	__________________ mindfulness.

01-22-2006, 02:54 AM	#9
ABlairican Pie Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 12, 2001 Location: Living where cats reign more Supreme than a pizza. Posts: 31,619
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01-17-2006, 09:37 AM	#2
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	Bye, Common Sense, I really will miss you. I wish you and your parents, your wife, your son, and your daughter were still with us.

01-17-2006, 03:42 PM	#3
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	COME BACK!!!!!!!

01-17-2006, 06:25 PM	#4
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254

01-22-2006, 01:12 AM	#8
tina barta's man Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Nov 10, 2005 Posts: 5	rip

01-22-2006, 03:34 AM	#10
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	lol, that's great. i don't think humans are stupid for nothing.

01-22-2006, 08:45 AM	#11
80sTrivia Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 23, 2002 Posts: 21,714	Amen to that...
	__________________ Perfect Gift Books for Pop Culture Fanatics: Thank You for Being a Friend: A Golden Girls Trivia Book The Bouquet Residence: A Keeping Up Appearances Trivia Book Cooking With the Golden Girls: Fun & Delicious Recipes from a Hilarious Miami Kitchen Love in the Afternoon: The Ultimate Soap Opera Trivia Book The Last Great Decade: The Ultimate 90s Trivia Book Betty White: A Celebration

01-20-2007, 11:15 AM	#12
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	A Sad Passing Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer sun lotion or a Band-Aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments Became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
	__________________ The Key to the Kingdom of Heaven: John 3:3 *Money Doesn't Buy Happiness...But I'd Rather Cry in My Private Jet*

01-20-2007, 11:52 AM	#13
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	That's hilarious. I was waiting for a jab at the perpetually offended people of the world. The ones who wake up with a chip on their shoulder, looking for reasons to get offended or pissed off. A swipe at the race baiters would have been good too.

01-20-2007, 12:10 PM	#15
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	I wish I could help bring back common sense, but apathy killed motivation a long time ago. Poor motivation. He never saw it coming.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations