Online Friendships

[Janice]

What are the pros and cons?

One thing that bothers me is the fact, that in all likelihood, you'll never meet the person.

Another thing is that they can be time consuming. My neck hurts if I sit at the computer too long, so writing e:mails can literally be a pain in the neck sometimes.

Often times, people who you think are terrific turn out to be backstabbers. I won't get into it, but I've had some lousy experiences there. Same can be said for real life too.

Despite all this, I have some wonderful online friendships. People who have helped me through some tough times.

[-*Forever*-]

I love my online friendships. Some of my best friends are people I've never met.

I've actually met a bunch of my online friends... I've met three of them at concerts ((one of which being Amy - AllIWantIsYourClutch)), and I met another when she flew here and stayed with me for a week. I came really close to meeting two other people, but that didn't work out.

I think the cons are not seeing them everyday. Not actually getting to hang out with them and go to the movies and stuff. And you can talk on the phone, but that's not the same as being able to call someone and go, "Wanna come over?" Plus I kinda hate the phone. Oops. And people can lie about who they are... I'm not talking the whole "40 year old man pretending to be a 16 year old girl" thing, I'm talking about like... people can act all tough and badass, when in real life, they're not. Yeah.

But I love my online friends with all my heart.

[Brian Damage]

I have one true online friend, and I cherish it greatly. It sucks sometimes, when you feel like talking and they are not around their computer, but all in all, she has been a better friend to me than friends I know in real life.

[AllIWantIsYourClutch]

I love online friends. With me, it feels like I have people to talk to who aren't going to judge me or put me down or whatever, unlike people I know in real life. I've met a bunch of online friends at concerts too...like Kaitlyn said. I met her and I also met Jeff (vienna waits) at some American Idol mall thing. And people from other places....(3 words...Clay. Aiken. Trolley.) It's a good time.

[Courtnee]

Online friends are the shiznit.


I have some of the best friends here

[Brad Russ]

I think the worse thing about having online friends, is as was stated already, the fact that you'll probably never get the chance to meet most of them in real life, which can be extremely painful. Especially when you start feeling an attachment, and don't have many flesh and blood friends to fill that void. Sometimes I wish I could just reach into my computer, and give certain friends the biggest hug imagineable, either when they're feeling down, or when I am, and to not be able to do that, can be very hard. So that aspect of online friendships really sucks!!!

Overall though, I'm very happy about the online friends Iv'e made. I admit, I haven't always been the best friend I could be to certain people, for various reasons, and I wish I could apologize to everyone of them individually, but I really do try to maintain friendships, and there actually is an explanation for my laziness, but it's just so hard to explain sometimes. But anyway, I have only a handful of really really good online friends, and I can honestly say that I love them as much as I love myself, and wouldn't trade any one of them for the world!!! As hard, and painful as it can be to have online friends at times, that doesn't even compare to the positives that can come out of it.

[passionsfan79]

Ive had online friends and weve been friends for at least 2 years or so

[*MIBabe03*]

Actually my current boyfriend and I met from online. I'm all for online friendships!

[Mijada]

The best thing about online friends for me is that I meet a lot of people that share common interests and those kind of people are hard to find at work or wherever. If I tell someone that I see every day in person that I watch classic TV shows or old black and white movies they look at me like I'm some kind of weirdo but I can find a ton of people online who like them. I'm really not all that interested in meeting any of these people because like Janice said, a lot of them may turn out to be backstabbers. It's just nice to get away for a few minutes each day and discuss an old movie/book or other common interest with someone that I would probably never come across in person.

[Karen*]

I love having online friends. Actually, I think 99% of 'em are from SO! To be honest, I think I could tell things to my online friends that I could never tell my friends around here. It's probably cuz I don't have to tell them things face-to-face. Plus, they're not too quick to judge me.

But like most of you guys mentioned, it sucks that we'll never actually get to meet the other person. Unless one of you guys has enough time and money to catch a plane or road trip to meet the other. Most of my online friends don't even live close to California and that makes me sad.

All in all though, knowing that there's people on the other side of the country that are thinking of me makes me feel great.

[Bobby F.]

I've got one really good online friend that I talk too. Anytime there has been something that has gone on in my life, good or bad, it's been great to be able to tell that person. I do feel guilty that we don't get to talk as much as I'd like but unfortunately real life comes before computer life and there always seems to be something going on in real life.

[Superstar]

I like my online friends alot more than my real life friends. I've met pretty much all my online friends on SO. Its easier to talk to people online. I find that there is less bitchiness between people online. If you don't like someone online, you can block them or put them on ignore, sadly you can't do that in real life

[swedeace]

I don't know exactly how I feel about online friendships. I have thought a lot about it.

If you do not know, I am quite active in a couple of Ace of Base online community forums. I have loved the group for 11.5 years, so I have known some others fans for years since I discovered the internet and other fans ten years ago, come this April 2006. That's a long time!

Since 2003, I have met a countless amount of people in three different Acer meetings ("Acers" are what we Ace of Base fans refer ourselves as). I have not only met Americans, but I also met people from different countries and different cultures and backgrounds (from Canada to Europe to Australia).

I don't really want to scare anyone, but I have discovered there have been a couple of people whom I have had a lot in common with in writing (emails, IMs, PMs, forums, etc), and when I met them in person, we just did not click. By "clicking" I mean that it seemed our contact disipated after meeting in person. We had more in common in written form more so than in person or in "hanging out" form. I have come to the conclusion that our initial "online contact" was much easier because both persons were just there at a given moment. In person, it was harder for me to carry on a conversation or took things personally based on their nonverbals. I guess it was just our personalities or something. I don't know. Therefore, I took it personally in the beginning when they wouldn't reciprocate. It's not a "hate" situation or anything, but it was more like quietly going our own ways with no hard feelings. There were never arguments, but it just happened this way. Now I just decided those friendships just "weren't meant to be."

On the other hand, it can also be the opposite. I can think of one Acer friend whom I have known for years on an on-and-off communication (ocassional emails...that sort of thing), and then when we met in person, we just clicked and are keeping in closer touch online than ever before. She and I keep in touch very often, and we have even shared some feelings and emotions. Again, that friendship was just "meant to be."

In my own personal conclusion, I don't feel I can call or label anyone I keep in touch online with as a "best" or "close" friend. I used to. There are still several people whom I have "considered" calling a best or close friend whom I haven't met yet. I am scared of being hurt or of knowing the possibility of a friendship not really there, in one way. So I just feel I have to separate both worlds. If I befriend people online and we get along, I just consider that a "casual online friendship." I feel I have to keep my distance.

Then again, "no two people and no two friendships are alike," right? This was said was by a friend, and I agree. I mean, friendships are all unique. So what works for one friendship won't necessarily be 100% the same for another, right?

So... these are the kinds of things I have discovered....

Pros:
-You get to freely talk with people who share your interest(s).
-You are not judged by HOW you look like but only WHAT you say.
-You don't risk rejection if you decide to meet in person.
-You can read (or lurk) all you want and not have to actually participate or opinionate unless you choose to do so.
-It's a really good stress reliever to find someone online who can "listen" with open "words" (instead of eyes, to speak).

Cons:
-If you are close with someone online and find you are not really close in person, this would just hurt too much.
-People can easily just "ignore" you without any rhyme, reason, or explanation. It's also happened to me a couple of times years ago.
-It's easier to lie.
-It's much easier to misinterpret what someone is saying. I mean, there are NO nonverbals (tonality, body language, etc), so you just read text according to what is said. All you are going by is your own perception of how it's written.

[robyrob]

if it wasnt for online friends, I'd prolly have no friends at all...

[Fonzarelli]

Originally Posted by Janice

Often times, people who you think are terrific turn out to be backstabbers. I won't get into it, but I've had some lousy experiences there. Same can be said for real life too.

Oh so true, irl as well as online.

Online friendships never last long with me. I'm a very lousy e-mail writer/chatter op msn.