I need some advice

[MsOrange]

Ok, for those of you that have been married, or have recently gotten married, and can remember your first home together as a married couple, I have to present you my situation...

OK, me and Jonathan are getting married in March. We ultimatley want to build a house on some property he owns.. our DREAM house... but in order to do that, we're going to rent the first year and save. Ok, so rent around here is about 575$ a month, on average. We found this little house that a woman we know is renting out, and it's only 310 a month, and that includes water. Sounds great.. but here is the catch. This house is very old, and VERY small. It's not run down by no means, it has new carpet, sturdy foundation, electric heating (just a window unit for air), gas hookup, etc... I mean, it's not like it's a shack, but it is old and small. It's only got 3 rooms (plus a tiny bathroom). We would def. be living frugal our first year. We crunched the numbers, and in a year-2 years time we can save (as compared to rent) anywhere from 3-7 grand. I'm very hesitant though because it's so damn small... Jonathan is already excited because it's so "cozy".

My question: will the sacrafice be worth it? 310 a month is pretty cheap for rent, but we're getting what we pay for... it's nothing fancy AT ALL.

Sorry if i come across as just blabbing.. but hey, i've never done this crap before.


Any advice would be MUCHO appreciated.

[Brad Russ]

This of course is just my opinion, but I think you should go with the house. You mentioned that it's in really good condition, and a house being that cheap each month, and in good condition, is a very very rare thing. The only kind of housing we have around here for those monthly prices, is section 8 housing, where the houses are often dirty, and rundown.

Secondly, you mention the size of the house. I don't know exactly what the size is, but you say it's no shack, and since it's just you and him, I don't know, my guess is that you probably don't need a whole heck of alot of space. I mean, unless you plan on having kids right away, which, even if you did, that would take 9 months, and you probably would have a new place within those next three months anyway.

The last thing I like about the situation you described, is the idea of how much money you should be able to save. I know how tough it is saving money for a better place to live, and for me atleast, it's been nearly impossible with the amount of rent I have to pay each month. But to only have to pay $350.00, my guess is that it probably wouldn't take you too long at all to save up some major mulah. Of course I'm just going based on what you said, but based on that, I'd definitely go with the house. Afterall, it's only a year or two, right??

[MsOrange]

no, i wouldn't call it a shack. I mean, it's an old house, concrete slab porch, stuff like that. The floor isn't very level, but Jonathan said the foundation felt sturdy. It is only a year or two.. we're going to go back tonight and look at it again now that we (mainly I) have come up w/ so many questions...

[Brad Russ]

Well, whatever the two of you decide, I sincerely wish you and him both the very best. I know it's got to be really exciting for you starting a brand new life like this.

[robyrob]

i say go for the shack; most people building their dream homes soon realize (usually too late) that it will end up costing them roughly TWICE what they estimate that it will, and take AT LEAST twice as long to build as anticipated.

plus you guys can keep busy playing UNABOMBER.

[Janice]

I say go for it. This is a golden opportunity. Most couples pay high rent for a decade to save for a down payment for their own house these days.

As long as it's in a safe area, and it's not a dump, why not. You can fix it up and make it nice and homey. As for the small size, you and Jonathan both work full-time, and like most young couples, I'm sure you're out and about, so that shouldn't be an issue.

The time will fly by and you'll have your dream house and something to tell your children when they're older.

[MsOrange]

yea, the area is perfectly safe...and it's not a dump (new carpet, etc)...

thanks guys i feel better about it now! we are going to go look at it again tonight, so hopefully that will alleviate some of my worries. Maybe what i'm feeling isn't so much worry anymore, but more excitement? Who knows.

[MsOrange]

another thing that i'm worried about, that i def. need advice on, is how to handle my mother. SHe is such a snob sometimes, I know she will raise hell when she sees the place. She thinks we should go out, spend whatever it takes on rentt o get something we are "comfortable" in. we can BE comfortable in this place, yea, we won't be entertaining no dinner parties, but we can make it work for 2 years to save up... it'll be worth it. Me and JOnathan both can see the goal in sight, and that makes it easier. How do I go about hanlding her, to you all that might have mothers like mine.

[Bobby F.]

Go with the house. You guys don't have kids yet so it won't be too bad. If you had kids you would be pulling out your hair!!! It will also give you guys something to talk about when you are old and sitting in your rocking chairs on the front porch of your dream home.

As for mom...it happens quite a bit in relationships. Sooner or later either you or your hubby will have to put your foot down towards other family members that this is your life and you will live it the way you want. People may get their feelings hurt that you are being so forward but they'll get over it. You know what is best for you guys!!

[Brian Damage]

I'm still going through that now, with one exception, I have kids. Save as much as you can for as long as you can. Money will always strain a relationship at times, but look at the bigger picture. I say go for it.

[TJL]

Originally Posted by Janice

As long as it's in a safe area, and it's not a dump, why not. You can fix it up and make it nice and homey. As for the small size, you and Jonathan both work full-time, and like most young couples, I'm sure you're out and about, so that shouldn't be an issue.

The time will fly by and you'll have your dream house and something to tell your children when they're older.

Lots of young couples begin with "starter home" when they get married.
My sister and her husband lived in a small one bedroom condo when their daughter was born.
Then they found a nice little colonial style house. It wasn't much, no backyard, but it was in decent shape and they did some nice things to bring it up to date.
A year later they sold the place at a decent profit, and found a bigger home hearby with a nice yard.
Okay, that's a lot of moving to do in under three years, but there's no rule saying the house you choose now is the one you're stuck with for the rest of your life.