Just curious if you find this rude? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Brian Damage · 12-01-2005, 12:48 PM

I have been with my wife for over 10 years, we have been married for 5 years. In all the time I have been with her, her uncle has never bought me a Christmas present. Every Christmas, he buys her and my kids something and never me. Now believe me, I do not need or want anything, I just find it a little disrespectful that he doesn't even give me a card. Am I out of line feeling this way? Again, I don't expect a gift, but to me, it seems like he doesn't acknowledge me as a member of the family by ignoring me.

dlemond · 12-01-2005, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

I have been with my wife for over 10 years, we have been married for 5 years. In all the time I have been with her, her uncle has never bought me a Christmas present. Every Christmas, he buys her and my kids something and never me. Now believe me, I do not need or want anything, I just find it a little disrespectful that he doesn't even give me a card. Am I out of line feeling this way? Again, I don't expect a gift, but to me, it seems like he doesn't acknowledge me as a member of the family by ignoring me.

I would think it depends on 2 things. What type of man he is and the family dynamic of gift giving.

By what type of man he is, I mean do you think he likes you and that you get along and that things in general are okey dokey?

If so, then it may mean that he thinks it is appropriate (and expected) to give his neice and her children a gift but that maybe giving her husband- a man and head of the household per se- not necessary or inappropriate.

If there was an aunt involved I would be surprised if you did not get a gift. Otherwise it makes sense either way. It is not even a given that an uncle gives gifts to his adult neice (it is always nice to give to children though).

As for not getting a card, does he not give a card addressed to the whole family? Or is there just a card for your wife and children without your name?
That would be odd, it should just be a card for the whole family.

Ask someone in the family you trust whether he dislikes you or not so you can get this off your mind.

Sterling Holobyte · 12-01-2005, 01:31 PM

Yeah, it does seem a bit rude. You may have done something(could be anything) that he felt slighted by and he never got over it. I'm sort of in the same situation with my sister-in-law and her hubby. They always used to get me a birthday present(my birthday is the same day as hers) until this year when I got sick of her always trying to use me as her kid's new babysitter, just because we moved to the same town as her because she kept telling my wife what a great town it was - it isn't, and I refused to do it anymore. So while we gave her a big outdoor firepit she always wanted; I received... nothing. Not that I, like you, wanted anything from them. I would much rather have my piece of mind than anything they could give me.
I 'm waiting to see what they will, or will not, get me this Christmas. The best gift they could give me(and my daughter as well) is never asking me to babysit their little bully of a child again.

Janice · 12-01-2005, 01:41 PM

I think it's rude. To give every member of a family a gift, except one person, is just awful. Even if your wife's uncle didn't want to deal with buying you a gift, he could give you and your wife a restaurant gift certificate.

I don't blame you for feeling slighted Brian.

Mysty Eyes · 12-01-2005, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

I think it's rude. To give every member of a family a gift, except one person, is just awful. Even if your wife's uncle didn't want to deal with buying you a gift, he could give you and your wife a restaurant gift certificate.

I don't blame you for feeling slighted Brian.

I agree with this completely. Any kind of "joint" gift for you and your wife would be good. He can always give her a separate gift and then the joint gift as well if he can afford both. If he can only afford one gift, then it should be for both of you.

We have a similar problem in my family: my adult nephew, citing financial problems, has told us that he is only buying for a handful of family members. Yet he manages to vacation in Hawaii, buy a new (used) car and all of the costs related to a car, and announce also to the rest of us that he intends to spend even more on his "chosen few," but he somehow can't find the money to get us each something small (like a lottery ticket or a pack of gum or... )

Ugh!

I feel your pain and, yes, anger/annoyance.

Superstar · 12-01-2005, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

I think it's rude. To give every member of a family a gift, except one person, is just awful. Even if your wife's uncle didn't want to deal with buying you a gift, he could give you and your wife a restaurant gift certificate.

I don't blame you for feeling slighted Brian.

I agree, it seems rude to me.

Stormtracker TF · 12-01-2005, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

I think it's rude. To give every member of a family a gift, except one person, is just awful. Even if your wife's uncle didn't want to deal with buying you a gift, he could give you and your wife a restaurant gift certificate.

I don't blame you for feeling slighted Brian.

I agree.

James"Thunder"Early · 12-01-2005, 02:12 PM

I think it's rude, I have an aunt who does that to her son-in-law and she has admitted she does it to be rude.

Fonzarelli · 12-01-2005, 02:54 PM

That IS rude! What a jerk!

seventies_sitcoms · 12-01-2005, 03:00 PM

I have an uncle who buys my father a X-mas and birthday gift every year, and he would never buy a gift for anybody else in our house even though my mother made sure his three slutty snobby girls got a birthday and X-mas gift every year. I did receive a toy Daisy rifle from him when I was like 6 or 7, but that present was it.

JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo · 12-01-2005, 03:41 PM

get him one and see what he does

D.J. · 12-01-2005, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fonzarelli

That IS rude! What a jerk!

Absolutely. I know how you feel. This year was the first time I got a gift from my uncle since I was like 8 or 9. I don't blame you for being pissed. You have to do what you think is right. If you don't want to get him a gift, by all means don't. He doesn't deserve it. If you do want to get a gift, thats fine. Just don't sink to his level and maturity.

Mijada · 12-01-2005, 05:23 PM

I think that's kind of rude. You are a member of his family just like your wife and kids so he shouldn't exclude you. It would be nice of him to give you and your wife a joint gift like Janice said. My niece is engaged to be married next summer and since i don't know her fiance all that well yet I just plan on giving them a gift certificate to a department store so they can buy stuff for their house and upcoming baby. I think that's a great thing to do with couples, just get them one gift to share, that way no one feels left out.

dawsongirl · 12-01-2005, 06:29 PM

I'm thinking what Janice was getting at...why not give you and your wife a joint gift? I know my parents have done that in the past.

Is he one of these guys who might not like you because you had kids before you got married? Like you "stole" his neice or something. For some reason, to those kind of people, it's always the guy's fault.

dawsongirl · 12-01-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leland McKenzie

I think it's rude, I have an aunt who does that to her son-in-law and she has admitted she does it to be rude.

She actually admitted something like that?!

12-01-2005, 12:48 PM	#1
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	Just curious if you find this rude? I have been with my wife for over 10 years, we have been married for 5 years. In all the time I have been with her, her uncle has never bought me a Christmas present. Every Christmas, he buys her and my kids something and never me. Now believe me, I do not need or want anything, I just find it a little disrespectful that he doesn't even give me a card. Am I out of line feeling this way? Again, I don't expect a gift, but to me, it seems like he doesn't acknowledge me as a member of the family by ignoring me.
	__________________ The Key to the Kingdom of Heaven: John 3:3 *Money Doesn't Buy Happiness...But I'd Rather Cry in My Private Jet*

12-01-2005, 01:31 PM	#3
Sterling Holobyte Harper House Senior Member Join Date: Nov 07, 2002 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,896	Yeah, it does seem a bit rude. You may have done something(could be anything) that he felt slighted by and he never got over it. I'm sort of in the same situation with my sister-in-law and her hubby. They always used to get me a birthday present(my birthday is the same day as hers) until this year when I got sick of her always trying to use me as her kid's new babysitter, just because we moved to the same town as her because she kept telling my wife what a great town it was - it isn't, and I refused to do it anymore. So while we gave her a big outdoor firepit she always wanted; I received... nothing. Not that I, like you, wanted anything from them. I would much rather have my piece of mind than anything they could give me. I 'm waiting to see what they will, or will not, get me this Christmas. The best gift they could give me(and my daughter as well) is never asking me to babysit their little bully of a child again.
	__________________ "Let it go. Forget about it. Try smiling." -Michael Harris WPIV studio producer/shoe salesman/grocery store employee/Ex-sanitarium patient/Stephanie's boyfriend-then husband --------------------------------------------------- My 2nd First Blog:http://saturdaymorningfunnies.wordpress.com/

12-01-2005, 02:12 PM	#8
James"Thunder"Early Whoever's In New England Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 23, 2004 Location: The Apollo Posts: 7,088	I think it's rude, I have an aunt who does that to her son-in-law and she has admitted she does it to be rude.
	__________________ Esther Anderson: Get thee behind me, Satan, but I'm gon' get behind you, 'cause I'm gonna put my foot in your--- Peggy Mitchell: Get outta my pub! You better pray you get the last laugh, it's a kick in the teeth when you don't get it.

12-01-2005, 02:54 PM	#9
Fonzarelli Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 19, 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 1,996	That IS rude! What a jerk!
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12-01-2005, 03:41 PM	#11
JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo A and J Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 31, 2001 Location: .S.C. Posts: 3,070	get him one and see what he does
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12-01-2005, 01:41 PM	#4
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I think it's rude. To give every member of a family a gift, except one person, is just awful. Even if your wife's uncle didn't want to deal with buying you a gift, he could give you and your wife a restaurant gift certificate. I don't blame you for feeling slighted Brian.

12-01-2005, 03:00 PM	#10
seventies_sitcoms * Senior Member Join Date: Jan 09, 2005 Posts: 2,244	I have an uncle who buys my father a X-mas and birthday gift every year, and he would never buy a gift for anybody else in our house even though my mother made sure his three slutty snobby girls got a birthday and X-mas gift every year. I did receive a toy Daisy rifle from him when I was like 6 or 7, but that present was it.

12-01-2005, 05:23 PM	#13
Mijada Spencers mom Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2001 Location: eastern US Posts: 4,093	I think that's kind of rude. You are a member of his family just like your wife and kids so he shouldn't exclude you. It would be nice of him to give you and your wife a joint gift like Janice said. My niece is engaged to be married next summer and since i don't know her fiance all that well yet I just plan on giving them a gift certificate to a department store so they can buy stuff for their house and upcoming baby. I think that's a great thing to do with couples, just get them one gift to share, that way no one feels left out.
	__________________ Proud mom to Spencer, Justine and Colleen

12-01-2005, 06:29 PM	#14
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I'm thinking what Janice was getting at...why not give you and your wife a joint gift? I know my parents have done that in the past. Is he one of these guys who might not like you because you had kids before you got married? Like you "stole" his neice or something. For some reason, to those kind of people, it's always the guy's fault.