why I've been away

[Liza]

Sorry guys - I know I've been away for awhile. I've had a really ugly thing happen to me recently, and it's taken most of my energy. I don't want to unload all of my problems on you, but a few of you have been asking what's been going on, so here's the whole situation:

My grandfather died this summer. He was in a sudden car crash, only a few months after his 80th birthday. That was hard enough. Going to his funeral was harder, because my uncle was there with his girlfriend (of three months mind you) and her two children that were trying to present themselves as the grandchildren. We later learned that the kids started making up stories about me and my siblings saying we were glad he was dead. My uncle chose to believe them, not us.

Then it turns out my grandfather (under my grandmother's influence) had disinherited my mother, his only daughter. For no reason. My grandmother's been dillusional for years, and because of one of her fantasies she's alienated our whole family. What do you do when your whole family turns against you?

I'm not speaking to my uncle, and am barely speaking to my grandmother. My whole family has basically been torn apart because of this. I don't know what to do, and it seems like such a waste of energy to continue thinking about such ugly people - but I can't stop thinking about it. It drives me crazy that we've all been so wronged, and have no way of clearing our names. They won't listen, their minds are made up.

To top it all of, my grandmother thinks that all is well. She thinks she can disinherit my mom and my siblings and we're alright with that. She wanted to know what our sizes are for Christmas presents! I've already decided that whatever she sends I'm just sending back unopened.

I may change my mind again. I don't know what to do or how to handle the situation. Part of me still wants to love my grandmother who is obviously sick. But she won't get any treatment. She thinks she's totally fine. And my uncle would never support making her go through any tests. It's a complete mess.

Okay, so that's the situation. Crumby, ain't it? Worthy of the Lifetime Channel my brother says. Any advice is welcome. I'm stuck.

[dawsongirl]

I can't believe those kids...and everyone believing them! Awful people to put you guys thru that.

My uncle kind of did a similar thing though...he's basically lied about my mom and making my dad look like an ass. And naturally, my grandmother believes him. I hate his guts and wish he'd just die; he's been this worthless all his life (my grandfather didn't like him either.)

Fortunatley, he doesn't speak to us, otherwise I'd be like you and stuck for a solution.

[Max Whittaker]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through something like this! I wish I could help. Family problems of my own have baffled me for years. It's tricky. I'm sorry.

[Brian]

That's terrible. Your grandmother is obviously ill but if she will not admit that there is something wrong with her, then there is really nothing you can do.

I cannot believe that Uncle of yours believes those kids over you. I don't know how long he's known you but for him to take the kids (that he's only known for three months) word over yours is deplorable.

I really hate to see you go through this like I did recently. My grandfather died last month under similar circumstances (car crash).

Do not worry or feel guilty about telling us your problems. That is what we are here for.

[Liza]

Originally Posted by dawsongirl

I hate his guts and wish he'd just die; he's been this worthless all his life (my grandfather didn't like him either.)

I know what you mean. I'm not a violent person at all, but I can't stop wishing they'd all die horrible bloody deaths. You know, like spontaneus combustion. They all just suddenly burst into flames...

[Liza]

Originally Posted by Brian

That's terrible. Your grandmother is obviously ill but if she will not admit that there is something wrong with her, then there is really nothing you can do.

I cannot believe that Uncle of yours believes those kids over you. I don't know how long he's known you but for him to take the kids (that he's only known for three months) word over yours is deplorable.

I really hate to see you go through this like I did recently. My grandfather died last month under similar circumstances (car crash).

Do not worry or feel guilty about telling us your problems. That is what we are here for.

Oh, my uncle's known me since I was born. 23 years. Granted we were never that close, but it's still so unbelievable.

And thank you! I appreciate it!

[EmoJoe]

Aww I know how you feel, my grandfather died last May, and since then I havent seen my aunt, uncle, or some of my cousins Family fueds suck. Its getting better for us though, we're emailing/talking online and stuff. Hopefully, that'll happen for you and maybe eventually, things will be better. The best thing to do right now is just dont let it get to you...it could get better soon.

Hope everything goes well for you and your family

[MsOrange]

i've got an ass hole for an uncle, and could tell a similar story... but I won't. I know it's hard... i mean, your torn.. you love your grandma, but how can someone who is suppose to "love" you treat you this way... the only advise I can give you is to stick by your mom, and just pray all this works itself out.

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I'd like to say I'm sorry about the whole mess and I hope it works out soon.

[EmoJoe]

Originally Posted by dawsongirl

My uncle kind of did a similar thing though...he's basically lied about my mom and making my dad look like an ass. And naturally, my grandmother believes him. I hate his guts and wish he'd just die; he's been this worthless all his life (my grandfather didn't like him either.)

Wow do we have the same uncle? Sounds exactly like my ******* for an uncle

[Janice]

Liza, I'm so sorry to hear of your problems. What a mess. Your uncle sounds like a piece of work. It's too bad that someone couldn't get a court order to evaluate your grandmother. I've heard of things like this happening.

Your parents need a good family lawyer to protect what is rightfully theirs. If your grandparents were/are mentally incompetent your parents have a good argument.

Money, I'll tell you...it really is the root of all evil. It tears families apart all the time.

[theshark8777]

Originally Posted by Janice

Money, I'll tell you...it really is the root of all evil. It tears families apart all the time.

Just the love of money is.

[Nighthawk76]

I'm really sorry to hear about this, Emily.

[MsOrange]

Originally Posted by theshark8777

Just the love of money is.

[Karen*]

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I'd like to say I'm sorry about the whole mess and I hope it works out soon.

Same here. I hope things get better for you and your family.