The LOST episode!

I was rumaging around online last night and stumbled accross this lost episode!
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George begins to watch a late night cooking show on the The Food Network and gets all bent out of shape when he finds out the show has been canceled. You see, George has been using the cooking tips to enterain his new girlfriend, Phyliss. In an outrage, he barges into the studio in an effort to save the show (and his relationship with his girlfriend, since George says he's a master chef). After getting kicked out twice, he sneaks into the dressing room of the cooking lady and tries to pilfer through her recipe files. After sneaking out a few recipes to tie him over, he stumbles accross a provocative photo of her, which he takes just ''in case'' it doesnt work out with Phyliss.

Kramer decides to get a computer because he heard about certain illegal porn sites and becomes a member of the CORVETTES (Coalition Of Retired Veterens Educating Todays Teenaged Erratic Students). He passes off being a vet using Uncles Leos ID, even though Uncle Leo is already a member. The first day on the job, he is able to track down a perpetrator and figures out that the porn is coming from Georges apartment. Meanwhile...

As George begins to prepare his next meal, the police and CORVETTES (minus Kramer) come barging in and demand to seize his computer and places George under arrest. Claiming innocence, he lets them check out his entire apartment and procilaims it ''as clean as a babys bottom'' (which the police don't find funny). After checking his room (and tearing apart the apt), they come accross the cooking lady's provocative photo and say they have the evidence they need...just as Phyliss walks through the door! Down at the station, still freaking out and claiming innocence, George calls up Jerry to bail him out, but Jerry's not home. After spending a night in the slammer (with 4 crossdressing hockey players), Kramer comes down with the COREVETTES and says that he made a slight error, which infuriates George. Acutally, the porn was being sent from the apartment above George, where 97 year old Mrs. Jolando lives. She was number 3 of the Top Porn Perpetrators of America.

While all of this was going on, Jerry and Elaine were given tickets (by KRamer from joining the CORVETTES) to see Oprah Winfrey in Atlantic City at the Taj Mahal. Before the show started, they had 3 hours to kill, so they decided to split up in the Casino (since Elaine likes the Slots and Jerry likes Blackjack), and said they would meet in 2 hours before going to stand in line. While in the midst of a winning streak, Elaine spots J. Peterman winning it up at the Craps tables. She goes over there to say hello and as she goes to great him, a guy flicks his cigarette in her eye, which causes Elaine to stumble, drop all her quarters and knock over J Peterman, which renders him unconcious. After trying to pick up all her quarters off the floor, she goes with the paramedics to get her eye flushed out. While in the First Aid room, she demands that they find that guy that flicked the cigarette or she will sue the casino! The security guards check out the camera and although unable to identify the man, they notice that J. Peterman was cheating, with the help of one of his associates. When he finally comes to, the police arrest him and makes it noted that they were tipped off by the loveley young lady sitting next to him, when he turns around to see Elaine half-smiling and says ''Benise...you're fired!''

At the same time, Jerry lost $400, and decides to sell his Oprah ticket (apparently, to the guy who flicked his cigarette on Elaine!) and with the money he will hopefully make back, he'll buy another at the door. At first he is winning his money back, but then starts losing again and instead of stopping at what the ticket would cost him, he goes over to the slots and places a few more bets, but loses. Just as he leaves, the ''just turned 21 yr old punk kid'' hits the jackpot on the machine Jerry was just at. The kid turns around and is a younger version of Newman...to which Jerry says his famous ''Newman!''

Jerry meets up with Elaine and while getting in line Elaine tells him her story and Jerry informs her that he doesnt have a ticket, but she should go anyways. She wants to back out, but a large couple roadblocks her and she is stuck going in by herself. While inside, she orders a drink and is wondering what shmuck will be sitting next to her and of course its the cigarette flicker!
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How'd ya like it?

Well...j/k on the lost episode part...of course! I wrote that baby last night

Hope you enjoyed it!

[Mossopp]

That was pretty funny! I can actually imagine that story as a real episode. How'd you come up with that? I wish I could write comedy but I stink at it!

thanks!!

Well, it actually took 10 minutes to just think of random things. It was very easy to write and Im sure I could make up 5-10 more if I wanted to!

Do you know of other Seinfeld boards that have heavy traffic than this site? I want to see how my episode fares with a larger group of people!!!

[joep39]

can u write another one? i thought that one was funny, and i wanna read more of em, thanx

[joep39]

plzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Cosmic Charlie]

Ok...that's pretty good. When this guy said that he was rummaging around and found a "lost episode," I assumed he meant an actual episode. However, I think he means he wrote this one. That's not bad at all. I think he might have a future here.

[BulletTrain]

I've read this story and it's good. It's too bad he never registered so we won't be seeing any more storys from him.

[Cosmic Charlie]

One of the great things about Seinfeld was that since it was essentially a "Show about nothing," there's almost a limitless supply of ideas for new shows. The writers were so genius in the way they put those ideas together though. Not too many people could do it much better.