The 'Why' Question - Feelings of Insecurity? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

swedeace · 10-13-2005, 10:38 PM

A thought just occured to me a few moments ago as I was straightening up a computer classroom. I thought about posting here in hopes of gaining some advice/suggestions, so here it is.

I have gotten better at not taking as many things personally. If people, in general, don't talk to me or give me a dirty look, I don't care about it. I have learned to overlook this. Then I still find myself in an endless loop when it's people I *actually* care about (namely friends), I find myself OVER-obsessively over-analyzing everything (note pattern: "over") they do/say. I usually take that personally because....I dunno...I just do. I care too much about my friends. I don't know why. I know this is a form of being insecure, but it sounds like a clashing statement: feeling insecure over your friends. Shouldn't that be more in tuned with strangers?

Anyway, I just wanted to know if anyone had advice/suggestions or stories to share about the whole "friendship insecurity." It just sounds odd, but I want some helpful hints!!! It's driving one of my friends crazy how I act like this towards him. And he's got his own problems with being neurotic too. I'm sure he's feeling the same but isn't as verbally apt in describing it like this towards me.

Anyway... any hints???

Brad Russ · 10-14-2005, 12:19 AM

I think I can kind of relate to what you're saying. I take things very personally, and even imagine that people are mad at me when they're not. When I was younger, I use to always go up to my mom, and for no reason at all say: I'm sorry. She'd look at me with a strange look on her face and say: why?? I'd respond by either saying: I don't know, or I'm just sorry for being the way I am. So, this is something Iv'e dealt with most of my life as well. The way Iv'e tried to overcome this recently, is to just stay busy. Whenever I start thinking about stuff like that, I quickly get it out of my mind, and find something enjoyable to do. It's easier said than done, but the more you do this, the easier it gets. Also, if there's ever a time where you just can't stop obsessing about it, findsomeone to share your feelings with. Someone you know will listen, and you know will always be there for you. I don't know if this advice will help you or not, but I hope it's of some use.

consentida · 10-14-2005, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedeace

A thought just occured to me a few moments ago as I was straightening up a computer classroom. I thought about posting here in hopes of gaining some advice/suggestions, so here it is.

I have gotten better at not taking as many things personally. If people, in general, don't talk to me or give me a dirty look, I don't care about it. I have learned to overlook this. Then I still find myself in an endless loop when it's people I *actually* care about (namely friends), I find myself OVER-obsessively over-analyzing everything (note pattern: "over") they do/say. I usually take that personally because....I dunno...I just do. I care too much about my friends. I don't know why. I know this is a form of being insecure, but it sounds like a clashing statement: feeling insecure over your friends. Shouldn't that be more in tuned with strangers?

Anyway, I just wanted to know if anyone had advice/suggestions or stories to share about the whole "friendship insecurity." It just sounds odd, but I want some helpful hints!!! It's driving one of my friends crazy how I act like this towards him. And he's got his own problems with being neurotic too. I'm sure he's feeling the same but isn't as verbally apt in describing it like this towards me.

Anyway... any hints???

I'm the same way, especially with one friend in particular. I over analyze every little thing they do/say because I feel like everything has a double meaning or they just don't really like me afterall. It's like this insane paranoia or something. It drives me crazy.

This one friend I have, she's much older than I am and I feel like maybe that has something to do with the way I feel. Sometimes I wonder why on earth she'd be friends with me since there's such an age difference between us and I don't feel like we have anything in common. But I value her friendship so much that losing that it would be quite hard for me to deal with so I try extra hard to do everything the "right way" but it just makes everything more stressful.

I've never let her know that I over analyze every little thing because...well, I just don't want her to know. I don't want her to think I'm completely insane. I also don't want her to know or even have the slightest idea that she stresses me out sometimes. I just don't think it's a good idea. It actually might be better to talk to her about it but I really have no idea. What am I supposed to say? "Hey, yeah, you stress me out and I was wondering if you could be a little less intense and stressful...?"

I have no advice for this type of thing. I need help with it as well. I'm just glad I'm not the only one going through this..

swedeace · 10-14-2005, 08:27 PM

Thank you all for your thoughts, suggestions, opinions, and experiences.

barwars, you are so right. I just wonder how my correlation with my own insecurity ties into how much I care about my friends. I think it's people I care more about that I have these feelings. It's not the case with people in general.

TheGreatPretender · 10-14-2005, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barwars

If a friendship makes you feel insecure, don't bother with it.

Friends are one thing you should never have to work for.

LOL If only it were that easy....

10-13-2005, 10:38 PM	#1
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	The 'Why' Question - Feelings of Insecurity? A thought just occured to me a few moments ago as I was straightening up a computer classroom. I thought about posting here in hopes of gaining some advice/suggestions, so here it is. I have gotten better at not taking as many things personally. If people, in general, don't talk to me or give me a dirty look, I don't care about it. I have learned to overlook this. Then I still find myself in an endless loop when it's people I actually care about (namely friends), I find myself OVER-obsessively over-analyzing everything (note pattern: "over") they do/say. I usually take that personally because....I dunno...I just do. I care too much about my friends. I don't know why. I know this is a form of being insecure, but it sounds like a clashing statement: feeling insecure over your friends. Shouldn't that be more in tuned with strangers? Anyway, I just wanted to know if anyone had advice/suggestions or stories to share about the whole "friendship insecurity." It just sounds odd, but I want some helpful hints!!! It's driving one of my friends crazy how I act like this towards him. And he's got his own problems with being neurotic too. I'm sure he's feeling the same but isn't as verbally apt in describing it like this towards me. Anyway... any hints???

10-14-2005, 12:19 AM	#2
Brad Russ Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 17, 2002 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 10,085	I think I can kind of relate to what you're saying. I take things very personally, and even imagine that people are mad at me when they're not. When I was younger, I use to always go up to my mom, and for no reason at all say: I'm sorry. She'd look at me with a strange look on her face and say: why?? I'd respond by either saying: I don't know, or I'm just sorry for being the way I am. So, this is something Iv'e dealt with most of my life as well. The way Iv'e tried to overcome this recently, is to just stay busy. Whenever I start thinking about stuff like that, I quickly get it out of my mind, and find something enjoyable to do. It's easier said than done, but the more you do this, the easier it gets. Also, if there's ever a time where you just can't stop obsessing about it, findsomeone to share your feelings with. Someone you know will listen, and you know will always be there for you. I don't know if this advice will help you or not, but I hope it's of some use.
	__________________ St. John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Currently my favorite song.

10-14-2005, 08:27 PM	#4
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Thank you all for your thoughts, suggestions, opinions, and experiences. barwars, you are so right. I just wonder how my correlation with my own insecurity ties into how much I care about my friends. I think it's people I care more about that I have these feelings. It's not the case with people in general.