Show quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

An 80s Guy · 10-07-2005, 07:21 PM

hey everyone post your favorite quotes from your favorite shows

Daria episode:fire

Quinn
youre not gonna eat all that fat are you

Daria
No i am gonna stick it in my boots cause i love the squishy feeling round my toes

catlover79 · 04-04-2007, 11:43 PM

Bob Newhart Show, episode "Over The River and Through The Woods"

Drunk, ordering Chinese food: "Moo goo goo goo" and "My name is DIR Bob Hartley."

Really it works better if you actually watch the episode!

Almost any quote from Barney Miller. Absolute GOLD!!

treky · 04-05-2007, 12:56 AM

Hawkeye, in the MASH episode "Adams Ribs"-"I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish"!
"I've eaten so much liver I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions"!!

comedyfreak · 04-05-2007, 05:46 AM

Fred Sanford-Sanford and Son "How'd you one of these across yo lips".
Aunt Esther-Sanford and Son "Watch it sucka". "You old fisheyed fool".
Archie Bunker- AITF "Nuts to You". "Get away from me". "Ding Bat"
Maude-Maude "God will get you for that".
JJ Good Times "Dyn o Mite"
Vinnie Barbarino WBK "Up your nose with a rubber hose".

sunshinefizzy · 04-05-2007, 07:38 AM

ELR:
Marie: Why do I have to shut up? I have a mind too! I'm not gonna stand around like I'm some trophy wife!
Frank: You're a trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win???

Roseanne:
Dan: Calm down Rosie, you're acting like a crazed pshyco path
Roseanne: The voice in my head disagree!!!

Three's Company:
Ralph Furley: What a day! First I get robbed! Then I fidn out I'm gonna freeze to death! And to top it all off I break my pencil!

Rosslover · 04-05-2007, 02:17 PM

Karen on W and G "How would you like to live under my skirt."

couldnt stop laughing

phoebe7165 · 04-05-2007, 03:31 PM

Frasier

Frasier:"Oh, Niles, I don't have time for your insanity, I'm about to steal a get well card from a kidney patient!" That's not the exact quote but it's pretty close.

King of Queens

Arthur:"You kids and your diets. In my day, you dropped dead of a massive coronary in your 50s and you liked it!"

Friends

after tasting Monica's 'mockolate' chip cookies

Phoebe:"Dear Lord, this must be what evil tastes like!"

Wings

Roy Biggins' rule of food for a basketball game get-together

Roy:"If it green, it's trouble, if it's fried, get double."

treky · 04-06-2007, 12:46 AM

THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES-Jed: "WEEELL DOGGIES"!

THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW-Barney: "Nip it! Nip it in the bud"!

STAR TREK-Dr. McCoy: "Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a (insert your own word here)"!

MASH-(I won't say who said this, because I'm SURE that EVERYONE knows by now) "I have a message...Lt. Col....Henry Blakes plane...was shot down...over The Sea of Japan...it spun in...there were no survivors".

catlover79 · 04-06-2007, 12:51 AM

"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." -- Arthur Carlson (Gordon Jump) on WKRP in Cinncinati

comedyfreak · 04-06-2007, 07:30 AM

I also liked Endora's quote when she spoke in Rhymes:
Endora: "Durwood, I don't like the way you gloat; so I'm turning you into a Billy Goat". Classic.

Dynomite · 04-06-2007, 10:07 AM

Col. Potter from M*A*S*H, after he busts Charles for attempting to pull down the mess tent with a jeep after accusing anyone of swiping an edition of the Boston Globe newspaper:

Col. Potter:(Over the base intercom): "Attention, people, and that's an order! I've had it up to my baby blues with all of you! Not only am I putting the whoa nellie on this tomfoolery, I'm demanding an official apology from the person who started it all in the first place!"

After the base personnel applauded, Charles had to apologise for accusing whomever of swiping his newspaper after learning the hard way that the paper wasn't delivered because of a trucker's strike. After he made his apology, he asked for his clothing back after it was taken while he was showering.

mrs.gingerhinkley · 04-06-2007, 07:56 PM

Dukes of Hazzard:
Roscoe: "I smell peas!"

I Love Lucy:
Ethel- "What are you going to do?"
Lucy- "I'll leave him. No, that's probably what he wants."
Ehtel- "Yeah, stay married to him. That'll teach him."

Gilligan's Island:
oh gosh, if i start posting quotes... i'll never stop!
"Yes, I miss Saturday night at the library; the hustle and bustle to get to the reference desk..." -Professor

I have WAY to many fav GI quotes...

Ohio8 · 04-19-2007, 11:43 AM

The Brady Bunch/Jan (to Marcia): "I'm not a creep." Peter: "Jan's right. She's not a creep." Jan: "Thank you." Peter: "You're a super creep."
M*A*S*H/Hawkeye (to B.J.): "Henry Blake was our CO....Henry was okay in every direction, from the navel out." Radar: "He sure was." Frank (to Hawkeye): "Captain..." Hawkeye: "No man calls me that and lives."
Green Acres/Hank: "Tomatoes are the dumbest of all plants. Did you know their IQ is hardly above what a 6-year-old child's is?"
The Andy Griffith Show/Andy: "You're a good son, Barn." Barney: "I try."

The Golden Girls/Rose: "I never felt so great....and so cheap in my whole life."
The Brady Bunch/Oliver: "Well, gosh, it was only a suggestion."

Kristen · 04-19-2007, 11:13 PM

Here's some just off the top of my head.

Wings
Roy:Party's at Joe's house. Be there, or be stupid. Lowell, you can be both.

Casey:Let's get a welcome home gift for Joe and Helen.
Brian:We already got them a welcome home gift. WE BURNED THEIR HOUSE DOWN!

The Nanny
Niles:Cluck like a chicken....it turns me on! (Classic scene!)

And of course:
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Lou:You know what? You've got spunk!
Mary:Well, yes....
Lou:I HATE spunk!

treky · 04-20-2007, 02:28 AM

MASH-Charles walks into the swamp and sees B.J.:
Charles: "Hunnicut"
B.J.: "Winchester"
Charles: "Where's your friend Pierce"?
B.J.: "It's thursday. The nurses hang their underwear on the line. He takes a sandwich and makes a day of it".

And of course-
"I have a message...Lt. Col....Henry Blakes plane...was shot down...over the sea of Japan...it spun in....there were no survivors".

(I won't say who said that and what episode it's from, since everyone knows. If not the name of the episode, at least what it's about)

10-07-2005, 07:21 PM	#1
An 80s Guy legen-wait for it-dary! Senior Member Join Date: Sep 03, 2005 Location: Austin,Texas Posts: 1,870	Show quotes hey everyone post your favorite quotes from your favorite shows Daria episode:fire Quinn youre not gonna eat all that fat are you Daria No i am gonna stick it in my boots cause i love the squishy feeling round my toes

04-04-2007, 11:43 PM	#2
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	Bob Newhart Show, episode "Over The River and Through The Woods" Drunk, ordering Chinese food: "Moo goo goo goo" and "My name is DIR Bob Hartley." Really it works better if you actually watch the episode! Almost any quote from Barney Miller. Absolute GOLD!!
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

04-05-2007, 12:56 AM	#3
treky star trek fan Eternal Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania Posts: 14,490	Hawkeye, in the MASH episode "Adams Ribs"-"I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish"! "I've eaten so much liver I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions"!!
	__________________ the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies. Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?" clerk: "Madam, those are rubies." Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her." clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady." Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."

04-05-2007, 05:46 AM	#4
comedyfreak Cheers! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 14, 2005 Location: Sunny California Posts: 11,061	Fred Sanford-Sanford and Son "How'd you one of these across yo lips". Aunt Esther-Sanford and Son "Watch it sucka". "You old fisheyed fool". Archie Bunker- AITF "Nuts to You". "Get away from me". "Ding Bat" Maude-Maude "God will get you for that". JJ Good Times "Dyn o Mite" Vinnie Barbarino WBK "Up your nose with a rubber hose".
	__________________ www.facebook.com/comedyfreak

04-05-2007, 03:31 PM	#7
phoebe7165 Pop Culture Goddess Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 15, 2003 Location: US of A - the country of "really bad music" lovers Posts: 11,600	Frasier Frasier:"Oh, Niles, I don't have time for your insanity, I'm about to steal a get well card from a kidney patient!" That's not the exact quote but it's pretty close. King of Queens Arthur:"You kids and your diets. In my day, you dropped dead of a massive coronary in your 50s and you liked it!" Friends after tasting Monica's 'mockolate' chip cookies Phoebe:"Dear Lord, this must be what evil tastes like!" Wings Roy Biggins' rule of food for a basketball game get-together Roy:"If it green, it's trouble, if it's fried, get double."
	__________________ Rest in Peace to my Penny-pie. You really were a GREAT dog. I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge. Penny 9/1/97-12/9/09 Rescued animals make the best pets. Opt to Adopt!!

04-05-2007, 07:38 AM	#5
sunshinefizzy Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 27, 2006 Location: Craptown Posts: 2,054	ELR: Marie: Why do I have to shut up? I have a mind too! I'm not gonna stand around like I'm some trophy wife! Frank: You're a trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win??? Roseanne: Dan: Calm down Rosie, you're acting like a crazed pshyco path Roseanne: The voice in my head disagree!!! Three's Company: Ralph Furley: What a day! First I get robbed! Then I fidn out I'm gonna freeze to death! And to top it all off I break my pencil!

04-05-2007, 02:17 PM	#6
Rosslover Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Jun 21, 2005 Posts: 431	Karen on W and G "How would you like to live under my skirt." couldnt stop laughing

04-06-2007, 12:46 AM	#8
treky star trek fan Eternal Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania Posts: 14,490	THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES-Jed: "WEEELL DOGGIES"! THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW-Barney: "Nip it! Nip it in the bud"! STAR TREK-Dr. McCoy: "Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a (insert your own word here)"! MASH-(I won't say who said this, because I'm SURE that EVERYONE knows by now) "I have a message...Lt. Col....Henry Blakes plane...was shot down...over The Sea of Japan...it spun in...there were no survivors".

04-06-2007, 12:51 AM	#9
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." -- Arthur Carlson (Gordon Jump) on WKRP in Cinncinati

04-06-2007, 07:30 AM	#10
comedyfreak Cheers! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 14, 2005 Location: Sunny California Posts: 11,061	I also liked Endora's quote when she spoke in Rhymes: Endora: "Durwood, I don't like the way you gloat; so I'm turning you into a Billy Goat". Classic.

04-06-2007, 10:07 AM	#11
Dynomite Member Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 10, 2006 Location: near Dayton, Ohio Posts: 579	Col. Potter from MASH, after he busts Charles for attempting to pull down the mess tent with a jeep after accusing anyone of swiping an edition of the Boston Globe newspaper: Col. Potter:*(Over the base intercom): "Attention, people, and that's an order! I've had it up to my baby blues with all of you! Not only am I putting the whoa nellie on this tomfoolery, I'm demanding an official apology from the person who started it all in the first place!" After the base personnel applauded, Charles had to apologise for accusing whomever of swiping his newspaper after learning the hard way that the paper wasn't delivered because of a trucker's strike. After he made his apology, he asked for his clothing back after it was taken while he was showering.

04-06-2007, 07:56 PM	#12
mrs.gingerhinkley Bette Davis Fan Senior Member Join Date: Jan 06, 2007 Posts: 2,478	Dukes of Hazzard: Roscoe: "I smell peas!" I Love Lucy: Ethel- "What are you going to do?" Lucy- "I'll leave him. No, that's probably what he wants." Ehtel- "Yeah, stay married to him. That'll teach him." Gilligan's Island: oh gosh, if i start posting quotes... i'll never stop! "Yes, I miss Saturday night at the library; the hustle and bustle to get to the reference desk..." -Professor I have WAY to many fav GI quotes...
	__________________ Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. -Edgar Allen Poe God Bless Our Troops

04-19-2007, 11:43 AM	#13
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,966	The Brady Bunch/Jan (to Marcia): "I'm not a creep." Peter: "Jan's right. She's not a creep." Jan: "Thank you." Peter: "You're a super creep." MASH/Hawkeye (to B.J.): "Henry Blake was our CO....Henry was okay in every direction, from the navel out." Radar: "He sure was." Frank (to Hawkeye): "Captain..." Hawkeye: "No man calls me that and lives." Green Acres/Hank: "Tomatoes are the dumbest of all plants. Did you know their IQ is hardly above what a 6-year-old child's is?" The Andy Griffith Show/Andy: "You're a good son, Barn." Barney: "I try." The Golden Girls/Rose: "I never felt so great....and so cheap in my whole life." The Brady Bunch*/Oliver: "Well, gosh, it was only a suggestion."
	__________________ "Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd Last edited by Ohio8; 07-12-2020 at 08:27 PM.

04-19-2007, 11:13 PM	#14
Kristen Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 17, 2000 Location: New York, USA Posts: 4,042	Here's some just off the top of my head. Wings Roy:Party's at Joe's house. Be there, or be stupid. Lowell, you can be both. Casey:Let's get a welcome home gift for Joe and Helen. Brian:We already got them a welcome home gift. WE BURNED THEIR HOUSE DOWN! The Nanny Niles:Cluck like a chicken....it turns me on! (Classic scene!) And of course: The Mary Tyler Moore Show Lou:You know what? You've got spunk! Mary:Well, yes.... Lou:I HATE spunk!
	__________________ Twitter \| Facebook \| Swagbucks \| Fanfiction Avatar Credit: Leigh Ann

04-20-2007, 02:28 AM	#15
treky star trek fan Eternal Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania Posts: 14,490	MASH-Charles walks into the swamp and sees B.J.: Charles: "Hunnicut" B.J.: "Winchester" Charles: "Where's your friend Pierce"? B.J.: "It's thursday. The nurses hang their underwear on the line. He takes a sandwich and makes a day of it". And of course- "I have a message...Lt. Col....Henry Blakes plane...was shot down...over the sea of Japan...it spun in....there were no survivors". (I won't say who said that and what episode it's from, since everyone knows. If not the name of the episode, at least what it's about)