I have a dillemma - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Dean Winchester · 09-29-2005, 03:20 AM

well, people who know me very well know that I am incredibly anal retentive. I have to have everything perfect. CD's alphabetized, DVD's sorted by genre/titles, books sorted, things in certain positions, etc.....

A few nights ago, my sister called me and we talked a little and then she asked me if she and her girlfriend (yes, sister's a lesbian) could borrow the two Charmed DVD sets I have. I was a dumbass and said "yes", but then realized what I did after I got off the phone and realized the way they scratched up the Buffy The Vampire Slayer sets I let them borrow to an extent that a place that takes EVERYTHING thought two of the season sets were unbuyable (I just sold off my Buffy sets because I preordered the Chosen Collection set). Remembering that, I then spent $19 I will never get back on "Protective CD Disc Skins", which turns out to really not work, and at the same time, I don't like other people having possession of my stuff.

When this happened, I asked a friend with a code-cracker DVD burner to copy the sets for me, but then it dawned on me... he lives 35 miles away one way, that'd be 70 minutes, plus another 70 to pick them up the next day... I just wasted $19 on disc skins. 140 miles is well over $15 in gas.

Okay, the part that really irks me is that my sister even told me the DVD's are for the girlfriend to rent. The thing about this is that I know deep down her girlfriend does not like me. She always seems to have a sense that she's better than me and looks down on me. We used to get along when my mom was alive but in the past year, she's gotten progressively nastier and now it's at a point I don't like being around her and considering it's for her and not my sister. Hell, just today I called my sister up and she picked up and seemed kinda short and nasty with me. I don't wanna lend my DVD's out, especially since I am the type who doesn't like letting other people having custody of your stuff, and plus I am a real neat freak about my cd's and dvd's not having scratches.

Okay, long ramble. But how is a way I can handle things without actually coming across as a bad guy? I love my sister deeply and she's done so much for me, but yet I have such severe retentiveness issues that I don't trust lending 2 DVD sets to her that will cost me $80-100 to replace considering I know she scratched up my Buffy sets, and I don't have so much money to go around that I can just go and repurchase them, but also the fact that her girlfriend is really nasty to me.

TJL · 09-29-2005, 08:37 AM

First of all, don't beat yourself up about being protective about your stuff. You're not alone. I don't like to loan my DVDs out either.

You are doing a nice brotherly thing for your sister, but since you have concerns, I think you should mention to your sister (without her girlfriend present) that the last thing you loaned her came back damaged. If you explain to her how much your DVDs mean to you, maybe she'll be more careful this time.
I wouldn't bring up any kind of friction you're feeling with her girlfriend.
Hopefully, your DVDs will return undamaged. If not, then informe her and her girlfriend that the video store is closed.

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 09-29-2005, 10:46 AM

I dont like lending out things either. My friend Amanda STILL has about 10 of my CDs, and its been about 2 years [Britney, Christina, Elvis, mixes, bunch more...]. Ive asked for them back a couple times so when I go down there I can get them but its either "which CDs do I have?" or "I have to find them". Ummmmm ok? Its frustrating.

I was going to suggest burning them, but since you already mentioned that, I guess we can forget that lol. Maybe you can DL the episodes she wants to see and send them to her via internet? Not sure how long thatd take though.

Moonlight Lady · 09-29-2005, 11:02 AM

I'm the same way, I hate lending out my stuff. I either get it back damaged or not at all. Usually, I just say that I either lent the item to somebody else or I misplaced it.

Sharop · 09-29-2005, 01:39 PM

I agree with what has been said before. I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to your sister and place emphasis on how you'd appreciate your DVDs being treated more gently, for lack of a better term. As TJL said, if they realise you really want them returned to you in good condition, then hopefully they'll make sure not to scratch them. Maybe you could place a limit on how long they have them? It might take them a while to watch two DVDs, but maybe you could ask to have them back in two or three weeks' time, or if your sister's girlfriend needs more time to watch, then a month?

spunkygirl · 09-29-2005, 03:19 PM

Why can't she just rent those from a video store? Heck even the local public library might have them available to check out at no cost. I sure wouldn't let anyone borrow my DVDs, cause of what you said the chance of them being scratched.

I would just tell her nicely that you don't loan your DVDs out anymore, and that you have your reasons for it, and just leave it at that

marmalade · 09-29-2005, 03:48 PM

I agree with everything that TJL said. Perhaps in the future you should consider an "I don't loan stuff" polacy.

dawsongirl · 09-29-2005, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sasette

Why can't she just rent those from a video store?

That's what I was wondering. And if her girlfriend damages your DVDs just because she doesn't like you, then she needs to be kicked in the ass and never lent anything by anyone. Bitch.

Nighthawk76 · 09-29-2005, 05:38 PM

I also don't like loaning my stuff to people. However, considering that it is your sister who is asking you to loan them to her girlfriend, I think family should always come first, that you should consider loaning them to your sister's girlfriend. Of course, you should let your sister know before hand that if any of the discs come back damaged, you would expect her to replace them.

Jonathan · 09-29-2005, 06:42 PM

I get your point, because I'm partially compulsive about stuff like that.

Tuesday Weld · 09-29-2005, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Golden*Gilmore

I get your point, because I'm partially compulsive about stuff like that.

I'm completely compulsive about it.

I sometimes worry that I'll accidently mess up my own CDs, so I never lend anything to anyone.

MissZero · 09-29-2005, 07:21 PM

hmmi would ask myself this queestion....would your sister and/or her girlfriend loan something to you if you wanted it? you always have be considerate especially with family...just make sure that you mention how valuable they are to you when u give them to her

SBTB Geek · 09-29-2005, 07:26 PM

I'm the same way, but since I don't want to sound like jerk I just lend them the DVD's and live in hell for a few days. LOL.

With music it's a bit easier. Even though I have an iPod I still keep TONS of CD-R's in case some of my friends want to borrow my music, I just burn a copy for them instead.

Brent88 · 09-30-2005, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawsongirl

That's what I was wondering. And if her girlfriend damages your DVDs just because she doesn't like you, then she needs to be kicked in the ass and never lent anything by anyone. Bitch.

Dean Winchester · 09-30-2005, 02:04 AM

I decided I am going to get them to join Netflix and I will pay for the first two months, and consider that an early Xmas present. That way I can politely say "I don't feel comfortable lending my stuff out" but yet also show her I'm not some greedy bastard, because they can then use Netflix to rent those DVD's and then some.

09-29-2005, 03:20 AM	#1
Dean Winchester Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 28, 2003 Location: Louisville KY Posts: 14,803	I have a dillemma well, people who know me very well know that I am incredibly anal retentive. I have to have everything perfect. CD's alphabetized, DVD's sorted by genre/titles, books sorted, things in certain positions, etc..... A few nights ago, my sister called me and we talked a little and then she asked me if she and her girlfriend (yes, sister's a lesbian) could borrow the two Charmed DVD sets I have. I was a dumbass and said "yes", but then realized what I did after I got off the phone and realized the way they scratched up the Buffy The Vampire Slayer sets I let them borrow to an extent that a place that takes EVERYTHING thought two of the season sets were unbuyable (I just sold off my Buffy sets because I preordered the Chosen Collection set). Remembering that, I then spent $19 I will never get back on "Protective CD Disc Skins", which turns out to really not work, and at the same time, I don't like other people having possession of my stuff. When this happened, I asked a friend with a code-cracker DVD burner to copy the sets for me, but then it dawned on me... he lives 35 miles away one way, that'd be 70 minutes, plus another 70 to pick them up the next day... I just wasted $19 on disc skins. 140 miles is well over $15 in gas. Okay, the part that really irks me is that my sister even told me the DVD's are for the girlfriend to rent. The thing about this is that I know deep down her girlfriend does not like me. She always seems to have a sense that she's better than me and looks down on me. We used to get along when my mom was alive but in the past year, she's gotten progressively nastier and now it's at a point I don't like being around her and considering it's for her and not my sister. Hell, just today I called my sister up and she picked up and seemed kinda short and nasty with me. I don't wanna lend my DVD's out, especially since I am the type who doesn't like letting other people having custody of your stuff, and plus I am a real neat freak about my cd's and dvd's not having scratches. Okay, long ramble. But how is a way I can handle things without actually coming across as a bad guy? I love my sister deeply and she's done so much for me, but yet I have such severe retentiveness issues that I don't trust lending 2 DVD sets to her that will cost me $80-100 to replace considering I know she scratched up my Buffy sets, and I don't have so much money to go around that I can just go and repurchase them, but also the fact that her girlfriend is really nasty to me.

09-29-2005, 08:37 AM	#2
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	First of all, don't beat yourself up about being protective about your stuff. You're not alone. I don't like to loan my DVDs out either. You are doing a nice brotherly thing for your sister, but since you have concerns, I think you should mention to your sister (without her girlfriend present) that the last thing you loaned her came back damaged. If you explain to her how much your DVDs mean to you, maybe she'll be more careful this time. I wouldn't bring up any kind of friction you're feeling with her girlfriend. Hopefully, your DVDs will return undamaged. If not, then informe her and her girlfriend that the video store is closed.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

09-29-2005, 10:46 AM	#3
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	I dont like lending out things either. My friend Amanda STILL has about 10 of my CDs, and its been about 2 years [Britney, Christina, Elvis, mixes, bunch more...]. Ive asked for them back a couple times so when I go down there I can get them but its either "which CDs do I have?" or "I have to find them". Ummmmm ok? Its frustrating. I was going to suggest burning them, but since you already mentioned that, I guess we can forget that lol. Maybe you can DL the episodes she wants to see and send them to her via internet? Not sure how long thatd take though.
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

09-29-2005, 11:02 AM	#4
Moonlight Lady Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 18, 2002 Posts: 16,052	I'm the same way, I hate lending out my stuff. I either get it back damaged or not at all. Usually, I just say that I either lent the item to somebody else or I misplaced it.
	__________________ [

09-29-2005, 01:39 PM	#5
Sharop Andy Gibb aged 12 Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 03, 2004 Location: Courthouse Square, Hill Valley, beside the clocktower, 10:04 p.m., November 12th 1955 Posts: 3,912	I agree with what has been said before. I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to your sister and place emphasis on how you'd appreciate your DVDs being treated more gently, for lack of a better term. As TJL said, if they realise you really want them returned to you in good condition, then hopefully they'll make sure not to scratch them. Maybe you could place a limit on how long they have them? It might take them a while to watch two DVDs, but maybe you could ask to have them back in two or three weeks' time, or if your sister's girlfriend needs more time to watch, then a month?
	__________________ http://rainbowlight.proboards102.com My new astral projection forums Doc: Don't worry! As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles per hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower, everything will be fine!

09-29-2005, 03:19 PM	#6
spunkygirl Member Moderator Forum Celebrity Join Date: Apr 26, 2003 Posts: 21,563	Why can't she just rent those from a video store? Heck even the local public library might have them available to check out at no cost. I sure wouldn't let anyone borrow my DVDs, cause of what you said the chance of them being scratched. I would just tell her nicely that you don't loan your DVDs out anymore, and that you have your reasons for it, and just leave it at that

09-29-2005, 03:48 PM	#7
marmalade Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 18, 2001 Location: Louisiana Posts: 469	I agree with everything that TJL said. Perhaps in the future you should consider an "I don't loan stuff" polacy.

09-29-2005, 05:38 PM	#9
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	I also don't like loaning my stuff to people. However, considering that it is your sister who is asking you to loan them to her girlfriend, I think family should always come first, that you should consider loaning them to your sister's girlfriend. Of course, you should let your sister know before hand that if any of the discs come back damaged, you would expect her to replace them.

09-29-2005, 06:42 PM	#10
Jonathan ***** Senior Member** Join Date: Aug 28, 2004 Posts: 2,304	I get your point, because I'm partially compulsive about stuff like that.

09-29-2005, 07:21 PM	#12
MissZero serve it up baby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 12, 2004 Location: Pa (Blah) Posts: 1,901	hmmi would ask myself this queestion....would your sister and/or her girlfriend loan something to you if you wanted it? you always have be considerate especially with family...just make sure that you mention how valuable they are to you when u give them to her
	__________________ ~MissZero~

09-29-2005, 07:26 PM	#13
SBTB Geek Smooth Moderator Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 21, 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,004	I'm the same way, but since I don't want to sound like jerk I just lend them the DVD's and live in hell for a few days. LOL. With music it's a bit easier. Even though I have an iPod I still keep TONS of CD-R's in case some of my friends want to borrow my music, I just burn a copy for them instead.

09-30-2005, 02:04 AM	#15
Dean Winchester Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 28, 2003 Location: Louisville KY Posts: 14,803	I decided I am going to get them to join Netflix and I will pay for the first two months, and consider that an early Xmas present. That way I can politely say "I don't feel comfortable lending my stuff out" but yet also show her I'm not some greedy bastard, because they can then use Netflix to rent those DVD's and then some.