Anyone ever have someone close to them die and you couldn't cry?

[GARFIELDKOOL]

For me it was my mother's ex boyfriend and my fifth grade teacher.

My mom's ex boyfriend was killed in 1989. Me and him didn't get along, but he made her happy. He had a street side to him, we knew it, but he didn't bring it around us. I remember the night I last saw him. I was on the living room watching couch watching tv half asleep around about 9pm. I saw him giving my mom a kiss. About a half an hour later, we heard gun shots. My mom worried it might be him. Like I said, he had a street side to him. Half an hour after the shots, a family friend came to the house and told my mom it was him. My mother went to the hospital and stayed there all night. I went to school that day. When I came home, I was told he had died. My mother was in pieces. I wanted to cry for her and him as a human, but I couldn't.

As for my fifth grade teacher, he passed away this past December of cancer. I found out in my local obits. He was my favorite teacher of all time. The sad thing is, I never said good bye to him. I moved out the neighborhood unexpectantly and was forced to transfer schools. This was in 1986. I didn't want to leave the school, but it was beyond my control. You don't want the next time you see someone that was close to you, you see them in the obituaries. But I did. Here I was, a grown man at 30, seeing this man's picture in the obits, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.

I still haven't shed tears for these two because it was so close to home.

[Hollow]

hm..

i don't remember crying a lot when my best friend was killed by a car when i was eight. i was probably just too young. i understood and was devastated that she was never coming back, i had to stay home from school for a few days, i made various memorials of her, but i just don't remember really crying. all that was really going through my mind was that i wanted to die too. that probably sounds a little disturbing being that i was only eight years old (and the details of it are even more morbid) but that was my main emotional reaction, as opposed to just mourning and wishing she were still alive.

i didn't cry when my grandpa died a few years ago. but i hadn't interacted with him too much when he was alive, and losing grandparents is something everyone goes through.

i cried when my mom died of cancer when i was 13 but i was able to get over it surprisingly fast, like within a few days. probably because i'd known for at least a few weeks in advance that she was going to die soon and i had time to say goodbye and everything. i had a friend who i knew for only four months and died in a car crash last may, and i'm having about ten times harder of a time dealing with her death than my mom's. the difference was probably that she was so young (15) and killed so unexpectedly. i still cry over her almost every day.

the only time when i did cry but felt like i shouldn't was when a girl on another message board died in a car accident (and i've confirmed it's not just a hoax or anything) one year ago tomorrow. she was 23 and was one of the admins of the board. i felt guilty that i spent about an hour crying after i found out because i hadn't even talked to her that much, but i'd been reading her posts for about six months and thought she was funny and cool.

[MariposaLKB]

A little over a year ago (see my signature), my ex-aunt (divorced from my dad's younger brother for 20 years) and her second husband were murdered by my cousin, her only son. I had not seen her since the divorce until about 2 years prior to her death, when this same cousin married a wonderful older woman who promised to "straighten him out" (I think he is bipolar and had been in trouble for illegal drugs). He was supposedly on his medication at the time, but shot them regardless.

I was horrified and shocked for that whole side of my family, but didn't cry until about 3 weeks later--when my husband accused me of withdrawing from my immediate family. I had not realized I was doing so or why--but I was apparently in mourning for this woman whom I really barely knew.

At least now she is at peace after a life of sadness over the medical problems faced by two of her children (her older daughter died of cancer at the age of 11--for her I cried bitterly, cuz she was like the sister I had never had).

[Penny Lane]

This happens to me all of the time. I never did like to show my emotions. I cry in private . And sometimes I don't cry at all and then I wonder what is wrong with me! But I know a lot of people who just love to wail and carry on just for attention. I hate that!

[Holly]

my grandfather died on Sept.. 5th,05 I wasnt really close to him ....But I did cry lil bit at the fuernal ..He was a vetern and they were doing a saloute i think thats what its called..

[¤I Love Clay Aiken¤]

When my grandmother died last year I didnt cry at all. I felt bad for not shedding a tear, yet Im an emotional wreck when something happens to my animals. But she was in and out of the hospital for a couple years, and every time she would go back in my dad would say how 'its the end', so I was already prepared for it when the time came. Plus, she was 86 and thats a long time .

[MissZero]

I didn't cry when my Uncle George died or when my Aunt Joanie died in 2002..it was kind of predictable but still...

I remember back in April when Toni n Leo died I cried so much in a few hours that everytime after that that i wanted to cry i physically couldnt..i was unable to cry anymmore than i did as weird as it is

[Ireneparalegal]

I didn't cry when my grandma died. She was 89 and the fact that she had lost her husband six months prior (my grandpa) I guess was the reason why I didn't cry. She was going home to be with him and it made me happy. Those two were the closest couple I had ever seen and it was only right they not be apart too long.

[Hollow]

Originally Posted by MissZero

I didn't cry when my Uncle George died or when my Aunt Joanie died in 2002..it was kind of predictable but still...

I remember back in April when Toni n Leo died I cried so much in a few hours that everytime after that that i wanted to cry i physically couldnt..i was unable to cry anymmore than i did as weird as it is

i was like that at a few points shortly after my friend died in may. i kind of had to let the pain build up inside me again before i could cry more. but nevertheless i spent almost all of my spare time bawling for the next month or so. i didn't even cry at all at my mom's funeral but at hers i stared at her body for a long time in tears thinking about all the good times we had and at the cemetary when they took her casket out of the hearse to bury her i broke down again, people kept asking me if i was ok. it was so painful to think that she was never coming back even though we'd only been friends for a few months, while in my mom's case i was more like "yeah, figures." really i think how devastated you are in result of a death doesn't just depend on how close you were to them and how much of an impact they had on your life, but also conditions like how they died, how old they were, how surprised much it surprised you, etc. because it certainly made a huge difference for me.

[ponytail]

When my dad died 3 years ago I didn't shed a tear. At his funeral I did get teary eyed but that was all. I do miss him, but I just didn't cry. Now I cried when I had to put my animals down. I bawled.

[PZelda]

One of my cousins, who was 16 (two months from 17) at the time, committed suicide almost a year ago just days before Thanksgiving in November 2004. I couldn't believe it when I found out. I went to the ICU wing of the hospital with my family the night it happened...When he killed himself, he pretty much died but he was found to still have brain activity so they hooked him up to life support for the next eight hours. I was at the hospital for about 3 to 4 hours, and I got to go into his room in the ICU wing to see him for one last time and to say goodbye. Nobody can ever understand what that was like. His immediate family (parents, older brother and younger sis) were absolutely torn up. He was already cold but because he was hooked to life support, they had him in a bed with air tube balloons (I forgot the name) that was keeping him warm. I held on to his hand...talked to him one last time...Comforted my uncle, his father...and just looked at him. I didn't cry much that night. I still didn't through the night, and I had to convince myself to go to bed later that night. I only got 3 hours of sleep and woke up with a start because I was experiencing my first (and only) panic attack. It was HORRIBLE.

I didn't cry when we had an open-casket viewing for him at the funeral home but I broke down when I found out he had chosen to be an organ donor. I didn't cry much at his actual funeral service either (the day after Thanksgiving) but I totally lost it at the cemetery. That was, hands down, the worst Thanksgiving of my life. Thank god I never have to relive it.

I still have involuntary recurring flashbacks to that night he died, the night I spent in the ICU wing...It's very hard. Nobody can REALLY understand what it is like when somebody in their family dies via suicide, until it happens to them. I know I sure didn't, then it happened to me. I am a different person than I was last year, and now I see things in a different light.

[Mijada]

My older sister died 15 years ago and I still haven't cried. I actually did all the crying while she was still alive and very sick. After she was gone I was just relieved that she wasn't suffering anymore. Also, she didn't have a funeral or burial or anything so I never really had that chance to cry at a funeral and say goodbye like most people do.