Police Statments - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Bobby F. · 08-29-2005, 06:18 PM

I think these were posted not long ago. I think.

Police Statments

The following were taken off actual police car videos around the country.

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
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"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
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"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
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"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
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"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh . did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
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"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
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"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
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"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey do-do."
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"Just how big were those two beers?"
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"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
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"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
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And the best one is....
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.

Dude111 · 07-14-2021, 07:05 PM

Hehe that last one is good

Not suprising......... This one is quite amusing

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

Worst thing to say because the faster they say you were going,the more $$$$$$$ may be extracted!!

08-29-2005, 06:18 PM	#1
Bobby F. Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 30, 2004 Posts: 3,818	Police Statments I think these were posted not long ago. I think. Police Statments The following were taken off actual police car videos around the country. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." ........................................................... "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." ........................................................... "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun." ........................................................... "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" ........................................................... "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh . did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" ......................................................... "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." ........................................................... "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" ........................................................... "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey do-do." ........................................................... "Just how big were those two beers?" ........................................................... "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." ........................................................... "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." ........................................................... And the best one is.... "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.

07-14-2021, 07:05 PM	#2
Dude111 Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 05, 2013 Posts: 36,768	Hehe that last one is good Not suprising......... This one is quite amusing "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" Worst thing to say because the faster they say you were going,the more $$$$$$$ may be extracted!!