Some classic Thelma vs. JJ banters - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Brian Damage · 08-21-2005, 01:33 AM

J.J. : Around here, we've got something more powerful than Drano. See, all we do is hang a picture of Thelma's face over the drain, and the clog goes away. We call it: Thelmo.

Thelma : Yes, and when it's really clogged, we have to use the snake, so we send J.J. down there personally.
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Michael : Hey, Thelma. You about ready for that kissing booth?

Thelma : Yep, I've got my lips, and my lip gloss, and... Oh, Michael, you didn't tell me how much to sell my kisses for.

J.J. : Thelma, be ready to make change of a dime.

Thelma : You know something, if you were in there, it wouldn't be a kissing booth... it would be a house of horrors, you ugly monster.
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Thelma : Don't worry, daddy. I've got eyes like an eagle.

J.J. : And a face like a beagle.
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JJ: And now to open Thelma's present - the wonderful cap!

Thelma : How'd you know that?

JJ: I did a little search and seizure in your room the other day... Ah! The color I wanted!

Thelma : That's not the one I bought!

JJ: I know, I already exchanged it! - when the chicks see this hat, I'm gonna have wall to wall hickeys!
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[Thelma's listening to some classical music]

J.J: What is that music?

Thelma : That's Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake.

JJ: Well tell the swans to get out - the lake's polluted!
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Thelma : Has anybody seen my hair-spray?

JJ: Yeah! it's under the sink. I used it last night to wipe-out some bugs!

Thelma : You used my hair-spray on bugs?

JJ: Yeah, but it didn't do nothin for em. They was all bald!
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Thelma : Mama might be in a tv commercial!

JJ: Hey! That'd be groovy, bein' the son of a famous movie star, I'd have my own Cadillac to drive down and get my food stamps!
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Thelma : J.J where'd you get stamps to mail a letter?

JJ: I don't need no money for stamps! The last six letters I painted em on!

Ireneparalegal · 08-21-2005, 01:37 AM

hope I get the words right:
Thelma: You should donate that face to medicine so they can find a cure!

craftman · 08-21-2005, 02:00 AM

I LOVE IT!!!, I LOVE IT!!!!!

Ireneparalegal · 08-21-2005, 02:03 AM

You know, even though alot of their exchanges were not so good, just alot of yelling, those brian listed are some of thee BEST.

craftman · 08-21-2005, 02:07 AM

I got one , I got one....

JJ: CIA, FBI, we being alphabetic'd to death here. One more alphabet and i'ma leave home and never come back.

Thelma: ABCDEFG....... and answer the door on your way out.

Ireneparalegal · 08-21-2005, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by craftman

I got one , I got one....

JJ: CIA, FBI, we being alphabetic'd to death here. One more alphabet and i'ma leave home and never come back.

Thelma: ABCDEFG....... and answer the door on your way out.

Oh that's a good one...which episode is this from, can't remember. I recognize the line, just don't remember the episode.

craftman · 08-21-2005, 02:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Oh that's a good one...which episode is this from, can't remember. I recognize the line, just don't remember the episode.

That's from 'Cleatus'.

hch · 08-21-2005, 07:56 PM

From "Getting Up the Rent"

J.J.: Here's somthing for little sister (Reading package) "Afro-Glo Face Cream. For the look of beauty". (looks at Thelma) I didn't know they can bottle miracles.

THELMA: Well, look who's talkin'. If you were made in Detroit, you would have recalled for being dangerously ugly!

TVFactFan · 08-21-2005, 09:00 PM

James: "Your Mother's school days are over, you can't teach a old dog new tricks"

Florida: "Who's an Old Dog?"

James: "I didn't mean it like that"

Thelma: "Daddy I can help mom with her homework"

J.J: "Hey how come you never made me that offer?"

THELMA:"Because you can't teach a DUMB DOG Nothing"

LOL-LOL-

Brieannas21 · 08-21-2005, 09:30 PM

From The Politians

JJ: Don't worry about it, Fred I'll get all my chicks to vote for ya, cause they don't picket and they don't fight, one taste of these lips and they'll follow the lead of Kid DYN-O-MITE

Thelma: As usual, my brother the licorice stick, just said something that proves HIS HEAD DON'T TICK.

That gets me every time

Jinxey · 08-25-2005, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brieannas21

From The Politians

JJ: Don't worry about it, Fred I'll get all my chicks to vote for ya, cause they don't picket and they don't fight, one taste of these lips and they'll follow the lead of Kid DYN-O-MITE

Thelma: As usual, my brother the licorice stick, just said something that proves HIS HEAD DON'T TICK.

That gets me every time

I fall off of my bed laughing at that one.

Jinxey · 08-27-2005, 01:48 PM

I think a thread (if it hasn't been done already) should list every "diss" between JJ and Thelma, which would be basically every episode...lol

craftman · 08-27-2005, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jinxey

I think a thread (if it hasn't been done already) should list every "diss" between JJ and Thelma, which would be basically every episode...lol

Yes, Let's do this y'all!!!!

GeorgiaboyJeff! · 08-28-2005, 03:05 PM

I don't know.. I always thought the bickering was lame.. I also thought the jokes were corny.. I don't know, maybe it was funnier back then..

08-21-2005, 01:33 AM	#1
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	Some classic Thelma vs. JJ banters J.J. : Around here, we've got something more powerful than Drano. See, all we do is hang a picture of Thelma's face over the drain, and the clog goes away. We call it: Thelmo. Thelma : Yes, and when it's really clogged, we have to use the snake, so we send J.J. down there personally. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael : Hey, Thelma. You about ready for that kissing booth? Thelma : Yep, I've got my lips, and my lip gloss, and... Oh, Michael, you didn't tell me how much to sell my kisses for. J.J. : Thelma, be ready to make change of a dime. Thelma : You know something, if you were in there, it wouldn't be a kissing booth... it would be a house of horrors, you ugly monster. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Thelma : Don't worry, daddy. I've got eyes like an eagle. J.J. : And a face like a beagle. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- JJ: And now to open Thelma's present - the wonderful cap! Thelma : How'd you know that? JJ: I did a little search and seizure in your room the other day... Ah! The color I wanted! Thelma : That's not the one I bought! JJ: I know, I already exchanged it! - when the chicks see this hat, I'm gonna have wall to wall hickeys! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Thelma's listening to some classical music] J.J: What is that music? Thelma : That's Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. JJ: Well tell the swans to get out - the lake's polluted! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thelma : Has anybody seen my hair-spray? JJ: Yeah! it's under the sink. I used it last night to wipe-out some bugs! Thelma : You used my hair-spray on bugs? JJ: Yeah, but it didn't do nothin for em. They was all bald! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thelma : Mama might be in a tv commercial! JJ: Hey! That'd be groovy, bein' the son of a famous movie star, I'd have my own Cadillac to drive down and get my food stamps! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thelma : J.J where'd you get stamps to mail a letter? JJ: I don't need no money for stamps! The last six letters I painted em on!
	__________________ The Key to the Kingdom of Heaven: John 3:3 *Money Doesn't Buy Happiness...But I'd Rather Cry in My Private Jet*

08-21-2005, 01:37 AM	#2
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	hope I get the words right: Thelma: You should donate that face to medicine so they can find a cure!
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

08-21-2005, 07:56 PM	#8
hch Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 07, 2001 Location: Montross, VA 22520 Posts: 983	Here's another one From "Getting Up the Rent" J.J.: Here's somthing for little sister (Reading package) "Afro-Glo Face Cream. For the look of beauty". (looks at Thelma) I didn't know they can bottle miracles. THELMA: Well, look who's talkin'. If you were made in Detroit, you would have recalled for being dangerously ugly!
	__________________ "You don't own the rights or the patent on scuffling!" Willona from "Good Times"

08-21-2005, 02:00 AM	#3
craftman Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Posts: 553	I LOVE IT!!!, I LOVE IT!!!!!

08-21-2005, 02:03 AM	#4
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	You know, even though alot of their exchanges were not so good, just alot of yelling, those brian listed are some of thee BEST.

08-21-2005, 02:07 AM	#5
craftman Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Posts: 553	I got one , I got one.... JJ: CIA, FBI, we being alphabetic'd to death here. One more alphabet and i'ma leave home and never come back. Thelma: ABCDEFG....... and answer the door on your way out.

08-21-2005, 09:00 PM	#9
TVFactFan Member Forum Junkie Join Date: Aug 17, 2002 Posts: 99,059	James: "Your Mother's school days are over, you can't teach a old dog new tricks" Florida: "Who's an Old Dog?" James: "I didn't mean it like that" Thelma: "Daddy I can help mom with her homework" J.J: "Hey how come you never made me that offer?" THELMA:"Because you can't teach a DUMB DOG Nothing" LOL-LOL-

08-21-2005, 09:30 PM	#10
Brieannas21 Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 05, 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 9,792	From The Politians JJ: Don't worry about it, Fred I'll get all my chicks to vote for ya, cause they don't picket and they don't fight, one taste of these lips and they'll follow the lead of Kid DYN-O-MITE Thelma: As usual, my brother the licorice stick, just said something that proves HIS HEAD DON'T TICK. That gets me every time

08-27-2005, 01:48 PM	#12
Jinxey Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 27, 2005 Posts: 554	I think a thread (if it hasn't been done already) should list every "diss" between JJ and Thelma, which would be basically every episode...lol

08-28-2005, 03:05 PM	#14
GeorgiaboyJeff! Member Forum Regular Join Date: May 25, 2002 Posts: 664	I don't know.. I always thought the bickering was lame.. I also thought the jokes were corny.. I don't know, maybe it was funnier back then..