Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Bobby F. · 08-19-2005, 04:16 PM

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
- ------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to!
------------------------------------------------------------------ -
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

TJL · 08-19-2005, 04:19 PM

Now i'm getting the Hell out of the way before the girls read this post...

Bobby F. · 08-19-2005, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TJL

Now i'm getting the Hell out of the way before the girls read this post...

I know that's right!! Hell hath no fury like that of a pissed off woman!!!

Brent88 · 08-19-2005, 06:55 PM

I'm so glad you posted that and not me...

*kicks up feet*

Brian Damage · 08-19-2005, 07:08 PM

TheGreatPretender · 08-19-2005, 07:11 PM

Some of them were funny I'll admit.

Penny Lane · 08-19-2005, 08:05 PM

Oh yeah....... whatever................

swedeace · 08-19-2005, 08:23 PM

Haha... some of these are funny, I had to admit!

Ireneparalegal · 08-19-2005, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

How dare you Brian!!!!!!!!!! I believe you owe us ladies an apology!!!!!

LOL LOL LOL LOL

Janice · 08-19-2005, 09:53 PM

There's gotta be a list about men to counter this.

TRIPPERFAN!!!

Bobby F. · 08-19-2005, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

There's gotta be a list about men to counter this.

TRIPPERFAN!!!

Just like a woman! Can't figure it out on her own. Has to get help from another woman! Unlike us, the intellgentsia of the species.

Janice · 08-19-2005, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby F.

Just like a woman! Can't figure it out on her own. Has to get help from another woman! Unlike us, the intellgentsia of the species.

As if you wrote that on your own.

TripperFan · 08-19-2005, 10:37 PM

Who - what - where?

I just got back here - what's this? A good male / female scrap going on?

Oh man - I've got to get in this!!!

Give me a minute to peruse the probable crapolla being fed to us here and I'll come back guns a 'blazing!! (I just hope its "clean" enough to post!!)

TripperFan · 08-19-2005, 11:06 PM

Women (don't really need to) strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! We KNOW we're superior!

How many women does it take to open a beer?
None. We have the class to drink better beverages in the first place.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because the schlep she's already married to can't even afford a washing machine so you'll probably have to spring for more than dinner at Denny's.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" since men are closer to Neanderthals.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
Your balls automatically start to shrivel up within 5 feet of being in the presence of intelligence..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. Just buy her another box of cereal for her next birthday.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because like Old Faithful, that incredible gaseous pressure has to be released regularly.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He wouldn't be able to whiz without hitting the sides of the toilet either.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
Absolutely nothing.
- ------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It IS - and don't you forget it!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that turns dreams into nightmares, thereby diminishing a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
Because God, in all HER wisdom designed it that way so we can finally own all the shoes we want without being harassed about it.
------------------------------------------------------------------ -
Women will never be as stupid as men who think they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Which just goes to prove that both God and Man would be nothing but lazy bums if it weren't for the drive of women!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Mikado · 08-19-2005, 11:20 PM

Game set and Match To Tripperfan...sorry guys, its better this way.... always LET the women win

08-19-2005, 04:16 PM	#1
Bobby F. Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 30, 2004 Posts: 3,818	Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. - ------------------------------------------------------------------ I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to! ------------------------------------------------------------------ - Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. -------------------------------------------------------------------

08-19-2005, 04:19 PM	#2
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Now i'm getting the Hell out of the way before the girls read this post...
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

08-19-2005, 06:55 PM	#4
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174	I'm so glad you posted that and not me... kicks up feet
	__________________ Brent

08-19-2005, 08:05 PM	#7
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,263	Oh yeah....... whatever................
	__________________ Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley

08-19-2005, 10:37 PM	#13
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	Who - what - where? I just got back here - what's this? A good male / female scrap going on? Oh man - I've got to get in this!!! Give me a minute to peruse the probable crapolla being fed to us here and I'll come back guns a 'blazing!! (I just hope its "clean" enough to post!!)
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

08-19-2005, 07:08 PM	#5
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107

08-19-2005, 07:11 PM	#6
TheGreatPretender just because Forum Veteran Join Date: May 22, 2004 Location: Trying to think of a creative, witty location. Posts: 7,628	Some of them were funny I'll admit.

08-19-2005, 08:23 PM	#8
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Haha... some of these are funny, I had to admit!

08-19-2005, 09:53 PM	#10
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	There's gotta be a list about men to counter this. TRIPPERFAN!!!

08-19-2005, 11:06 PM	#14
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	Women (don't really need to) strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! We KNOW we're superior! How many women does it take to open a beer? None. We have the class to drink better beverages in the first place. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because the schlep she's already married to can't even afford a washing machine so you'll probably have to spring for more than dinner at Denny's. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" since men are closer to Neanderthals. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Your balls automatically start to shrivel up within 5 feet of being in the presence of intelligence..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. Just buy her another box of cereal for her next birthday. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because like Old Faithful, that incredible gaseous pressure has to be released regularly. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He wouldn't be able to whiz without hitting the sides of the toilet either. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? Absolutely nothing. - ------------------------------------------------------------------ I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. It IS - and don't you forget it!! ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that turns dreams into nightmares, thereby diminishing a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? Because God, in all HER wisdom designed it that way so we can finally own all the shoes we want without being harassed about it. ------------------------------------------------------------------ - Women will never be as stupid as men who think they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Which just goes to prove that both God and Man would be nothing but lazy bums if it weren't for the drive of women! -------------------------------------------------------------------

08-19-2005, 11:20 PM	#15
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	Game set and Match To Tripperfan...sorry guys, its better this way.... always LET the women win