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Old 08-18-2005, 06:22 PM   #1
Vince 887
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Default Would Freddie still be here..

If his wife hadn't taken little Freddie and left him .. I'm wondering if that accelerated his drug taking ?
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Old 08-18-2005, 08:59 PM   #2
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Quote:
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If his wife hadn't taken little Freddie and left him .. I'm wondering if that accelerated his drug taking ?
I don't think it accelerated his drug use but his heart was broken because she told him that she was taking their son and moving on.

He didn't want to part with his son but at the same time there was no one helping him to get sober.

His wife told him she was getting a divorce and it drove him over the edge. He threatened suicide before but this was the tip of the iceberg.
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Old 08-18-2005, 09:44 PM   #3
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However, years later, his family went to court and had the death certificate changed from "suicide" to "accidental death". The reason being that he was so into drugs, he didn't know what he was doing. So, if you go by that theory, then his wife leaving him with his son, had nothing to do with it because his death was an accident. Besides, no one can be blamed or made to feel that if they hadn't done this or had they done that, the outcome would have been different. Good thing she left, he had a loaded gun around and anyone under the influence of drugs/alcohol who "accidently" killed themselves, could have killed others as well, "accidently". Don't get me wrong, I miss Freddie so much. Why this had to happen, only he and God knows. People that have addictions have way deeper issues than the drug itself.
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Old 08-19-2005, 09:24 AM   #4
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Good thing she left????? Sorry but I dont agree with that..... if she had BEEN THERE FOR HIM...and I dont mean JUST THAT NIGHT, things would have been different. Kathy was an opportunist.... She was older than him and on her THIRD marriage.... she saw a young, successful individual who was up and coming and got in on the action... period! I dont like to be negative but thats just how I see it.

As for anyone helping him, I know something about addiction myself, first hand. It IS true...you must WANT help and you can only get help once you've decided you need....but as it has been noted before Freddie "THREATENED" suidicide .. which IS a cry for help. It was just not the right ppl who heard his cries... and I DO think it was an accident. I think he may have done as he had so many time.... taken out that gun and thought about it..but I dont think he INTENDED to do it. Ppl who do seldom call someone looking for a reason not too....they just do it.
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Old 08-19-2005, 10:21 AM   #5
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Reading countless magazine articles from the beginning when Freddie came on the scene I have to say that I feel that he didn't mean to kill himself. He loved his son. If you look back at the articles he loved, loved, loved his son. He loved his mother. He was also having trouble with his ex manager. He needed someone standing side by side with him Not asking for mansions and material stuff. Kathy had Freddie's son and he loved her for it. The last thing he needed to hear was that she was leaving him.
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Old 08-19-2005, 09:48 PM   #6
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I agree with you 100% Jenny
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Old 08-19-2005, 09:57 PM   #7
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He never would've done it if it wasn't for the drugs he was addicted to (most prescription, by the way) that messed up his mind. He was very depressed and felt hopeless, but things would've turned out better if he could've been able to think with a clear head. IMO
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Old 08-19-2005, 10:31 PM   #8
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I agree and also had Maria been able to get to the hotel in time as she explains in her own book, She was delayed when carol novack wouldn't take her there, and they lost time getting their when they got lost.
Had she been able to get there earlier, if carol would have brought her there and seeing his mom would have helped him because we know of the speciual bond they shared. IMHO
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Old 08-20-2005, 01:48 AM   #9
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Quote:
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I agree and also had Maria been able to get to the hotel in time as she explains in her own book, She was delayed when carol novack wouldn't take her there, and they lost time getting their when they got lost.
Had she been able to get there earlier, if carol would have brought her there and seeing his mom would have helped him because we know of the speciual bond they shared. IMHO
If, if, if this, if that, no matter what, whether Kathy stayed or left, whether so and so would've gotten there 5 minutes sooner, et. al. it doesn't change the fact that Freddie had a major problem. A person can only take so much. Only his wife knows what she went thru with him. One person may be able to tolerate alot more than another person, that doesn't make either of them right or wrong. I stayed with my ex-husband for 15 years. He was an addict who physically abused me. I stayed with him thinking I could help him. I found that for my sake and the sake and welfare of my children WAS AND ALWAYS IS MY FIRST PRIORITY. Imagine if Freddie had lost it and his wife and son were around and he committed murder/suicide? Or if he lost it and injured them somehow. His wife was being mentally and emotionally abused. For the sake of one's child is the only reason a person should get away from a bad relationship. My ex went crazy when I left. He threatened to kill me. he violated a restraining order 2 times. Thank God three years later he finally realized that I didn't leave him because I wanted to. He knows I left him because I had to. For my health, mental and physical and most importantly for the welfare of my children. I wish Freddie could've received help. I wish alot of things for him. I wish most of all he never touched drugs.
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Old 08-20-2005, 05:48 AM   #10
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I think the divorce was the last straw for him. Maybe if Kathy hadn't divorced him he might still be here today. He needed help. So sad...
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Old 08-20-2005, 08:32 AM   #11
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This has always been a hot topic whenever it is discussed here, and you are right what's done is done and no one but Freddie and the good Lord really know why or what could have been done differently.
Freddie was a great man/child that needed a lot of help he's gone now but he's in a better place and all we can do is honor his talent, his memory and love and encourage his son.
Thankfully Freddie's son doesn't do and never has done drugs so maybe Freddie's death how ever painful for those who love and miss him set an example for his son that drugs are not the answer to your ptoblems they only make more.
Just pondering here
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Old 08-21-2005, 07:39 AM   #12
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I think most of what Freddie went through wasn't understood in the time he lived. He suffered with depression, and I think, looking back on the situation, bi-polar disorder. As a person who has been diagnosed with anxiety/depression disorders and was on psychotropic drugs (Valium and Xanax) in the past, when you are in this state of mind, you aren't thinking rationally. I remember, looking back, some of the crazy stunts I pulled when in the throws of this terrible disease. People will tell you to just snap out of it, but depression and other related diseases are a chemical reaction in your brain that you have no more control over than you would any other illness. I do think situations do aggravate the problem, they always did in my case. Anytime the situations in my life got stressful, the depression/anxiety would be worse and I would have attacks. I could so see Freddie going through this, the stress of his success mixed with the stress of his personal life. Because doctors didn't know how to treat or even correctly diagnose the problems Freddie had was the major contributor of his problems and his ultimate death IMHO. Notice I didn't say they wouldn't, I think mental health medicine has come a long way since the seventies, so maybe it wasn't entirely their fault either. I know the pending divorce didn't help Freddie's mental health, I am sure it added to his already deepening depression. I dunno what I would have done though, if the father of my baby was brandishing a gun. I don't judge anyone who went through this with Freddie, I am sure it was a scary time for everyone. I know guns scare the begebers out of me and I would have probably steered clear if one was present. Plus, Freddie was a big guy and I am sure a bit intimidating when he was under the influence of all that methquaalone. All I keep wishing for was that someone would have had the knowledge to have helped him back then, but I dunno if that was possible. (Believe me, one of my reoccurring fantasies is to build a time machine and go back to Freddie with the knowledge we have now about mental health and try give him something that would have been more effective than what they had back then.) It wasn't for nothing that the FDA made methaquaalone illegal in 1983.... can you imagine if he had been on something like Zoloft instead? Methaquaalone makes a depressed person more depressed, but I think the doctors were giving it to him for the anxiety that the stress he was under was creating. They just didn't dig deep enough into all of Freddie's problems.

I am not a doctor, but suffering with mental health problems myself and having a friend of mine who has a son who is bi-polar, I have come to know a lot about these diseases first hand. And BTW a lot of very talented and very unhappy people were bi-polar. Check it out online.

BTW, I dunno if part of it is just learning about my problems and learning how to deal with them or even that my own body chemistry is changing with menopause, but my anxiety/panic/depression disorders seem to be more manageable these days. Not that I don't have times when the stress can trigger an attack, but the attacks are less frequent and more manageable these days. Plus I have a great support system in my family and friends. I have even gotten to the point where I don't have to take meds for it anymore, but I do know that lots of people will be on meds for their lifetimes for these kinds of things. Thank God we do have help for these problems now. I only wish it had been available back in Freddie's day.
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Old 08-22-2005, 05:31 AM   #13
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I agree with Lucky here. I have depression due to diabetes & have to take meds for it. It is rough dealing with it. If something happens to upse4t me it just makes it worse. So I can sympathize with what Freddie went thru. Maybe that's why I latched onto him like I did. I just wish he had gotten help & were still here today...
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Old 08-22-2005, 11:28 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luckymama58
I think most of what Freddie went through wasn't understood in the time he lived. He suffered with depression, and I think, looking back on the situation, bi-polar disorder. As a person who has been diagnosed with anxiety/depression disorders and was on psychotropic drugs (Valium and Xanax) in the past, when you are in this state of mind, you aren't thinking rationally. I remember, looking back, some of the crazy stunts I pulled when in the throws of this terrible disease. People will tell you to just snap out of it, but depression and other related diseases are a chemical reaction in your brain that you have no more control over than you would any other illness. I do think situations do aggravate the problem, they always did in my case. Anytime the situations in my life got stressful, the depression/anxiety would be worse and I would have attacks. I could so see Freddie going through this, the stress of his success mixed with the stress of his personal life. Because doctors didn't know how to treat or even correctly diagnose the problems Freddie had was the major contributor of his problems and his ultimate death IMHO. Notice I didn't say they wouldn't, I think mental health medicine has come a long way since the seventies, so maybe it wasn't entirely their fault either. I know the pending divorce didn't help Freddie's mental health, I am sure it added to his already deepening depression. I dunno what I would have done though, if the father of my baby was brandishing a gun. I don't judge anyone who went through this with Freddie, I am sure it was a scary time for everyone. I know guns scare the begebers out of me and I would have probably steered clear if one was present. Plus, Freddie was a big guy and I am sure a bit intimidating when he was under the influence of all that methquaalone. All I keep wishing for was that someone would have had the knowledge to have helped him back then, but I dunno if that was possible. (Believe me, one of my reoccurring fantasies is to build a time machine and go back to Freddie with the knowledge we have now about mental health and try give him something that would have been more effective than what they had back then.) It wasn't for nothing that the FDA made methaquaalone illegal in 1983.... can you imagine if he had been on something like Zoloft instead? Methaquaalone makes a depressed person more depressed, but I think the doctors were giving it to him for the anxiety that the stress he was under was creating. They just didn't dig deep enough into all of Freddie's problems.

I am not a doctor, but suffering with mental health problems myself and having a friend of mine who has a son who is bi-polar, I have come to know a lot about these diseases first hand. And BTW a lot of very talented and very unhappy people were bi-polar. Check it out online.

BTW, I dunno if part of it is just learning about my problems and learning how to deal with them or even that my own body chemistry is changing with menopause, but my anxiety/panic/depression disorders seem to be more manageable these days. Not that I don't have times when the stress can trigger an attack, but the attacks are less frequent and more manageable these days. Plus I have a great support system in my family and friends. I have even gotten to the point where I don't have to take meds for it anymore, but I do know that lots of people will be on meds for their lifetimes for these kinds of things. Thank God we do have help for these problems now. I only wish it had been available back in Freddie's day.
NOW I WISH THAT KATHY BE LEFT ALONE. Obviously only those of us who understand depression, mental disease/disorders, addiction, violence, etc. can truly understand how Freddie ended up where he did. We can't change what was, we can only make sure that history doesn't repeat itself. And you are so right abt the gun statement. I didn't mention that part when I brought up the fact that Kathy had every right to leave when she took their baby. Imagine being in a house with a gun? Now, imagine being in a house with a gun, by a person who is under the influence of God knows how many pills??? That's called CHILD ENDANGERMENT.
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