50 Facts about Women - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Czas na Zywiec · 07-31-2005, 11:34 PM

50 Facts about Women

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".

4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.

19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?"

23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

32. The first naked man a women see is "Ken".

33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

35. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

39. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

40. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".

41. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

42. Origin of the word "woman" is: woo-man.

43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, "Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!"

Interesting list....feel free to disprove any of the above facts.

MissZero · 07-31-2005, 11:41 PM

14 & 16 are untrue lol

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 07-31-2005, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissZero

14 & 16 are untrue lol

I agree. Sports is reality, it's a bunch of people beating on each other for a ball. Sounds like dumb people to meee. I watch comedy, that's REAL escapism. I hate drama, makes me nervous.

Brent88 · 07-31-2005, 11:50 PM

I like that...

Karen* · 08-01-2005, 01:34 AM

Too many of those items are stereotypical.

TripperFan · 08-01-2005, 01:36 AM

ahem.

Mikado · 08-01-2005, 01:51 AM

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves. <<< Howwwwwwww true!!!

Kristen J. · 08-01-2005, 02:04 AM

Damn Straight

Czas na Zywiec · 08-01-2005, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

ahem.

hey, the reason I posted it was to see what's really true and what isn't!

TripperFan · 08-01-2005, 02:42 AM

They're sure not true for all women believe me. There's too many to pick through, but it doesn't really start getting real until #15 for the mostpart. (At least in my case).

And for God sakes - why should WE have to check the damn toilet seat - once and for all - just put it down where God intended it to be out of sheer courtesy to us! You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first!

Mikado · 08-01-2005, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first!

oh suuuure, but, if we leave it down, THEN you complain about having to sit in p**s

Rene · 08-01-2005, 03:33 AM

all of em are just about true except 16

TJL · 08-01-2005, 05:05 AM

29 isn't true.

My last girlfriend was amazing in that department.

Detailed sketches and diagrams are available upon request.

*MIBabe03* · 08-01-2005, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikado

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves. <<< Howwwwwwww true!!!

My kid sister doesn't check and it's always soooooooooooo funny when she falls in.

Number 32 was true for me.

Brent88 · 08-01-2005, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

And for God sakes - why should WE have to check the damn toilet seat - once and for all - just put it down where God intended it to be out of sheer courtesy to us! You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first!

Hey now... why should we be yelled at for having to put it down after we're done??? We can't help that God gave us the right equipment.

07-31-2005, 11:34 PM	#1
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398	50 Facts about Women 50 Facts about Women 1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control. 2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game. 3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand". 4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them. 5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. 6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say. 7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful. 8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need. 9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved. 10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people. 11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip. 12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling. 13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch. 14. Women think all beer is the same. 15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest. 16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be. 17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day. 18. Women brush their hair before bed. 19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed. 20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling. 21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple? 22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?" 23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share. 24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours. 27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. 28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut. 29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards. 30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?' 31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse. 32. The first naked man a women see is "Ken". 33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes. 34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn. 35. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language. 36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women. 37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading. 38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain. 39. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?" 40. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china". 41. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check. 42. Origin of the word "woman" is: woo-man. 43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble) 44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves. 45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested. 46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you? 47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay. 48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together. 49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women. 50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, "Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!" Interesting list....feel free to disprove any of the above facts.
	Last edited by Czas na Zywiec; 07-31-2005 at 11:52 PM.

07-31-2005, 11:41 PM	#2
MissZero serve it up baby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 12, 2004 Location: Pa (Blah) Posts: 1,901	14 & 16 are untrue lol
	__________________ ~MissZero~

07-31-2005, 11:50 PM	#4
Brent88 Member Forum Star Join Date: Aug 01, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 16,174	I like that...
	__________________ Brent

08-01-2005, 01:34 AM	#5
Karen* paradox. Forum Superstar Join Date: Jan 08, 2005 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 28,365	Too many of those items are stereotypical.
	__________________ karen on \| twitter \| tumblr

08-01-2005, 01:36 AM	#6
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	ahem. Attached Images
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

08-01-2005, 01:51 AM	#7
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves. <<< Howwwwwwww true!!!

08-01-2005, 02:04 AM	#8
Kristen J. Member Forum Regular Join Date: Dec 01, 2004 Posts: 717	Damn Straight Attached Images

08-01-2005, 02:42 AM	#10
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	They're sure not true for all women believe me. There's too many to pick through, but it doesn't really start getting real until #15 for the mostpart. (At least in my case). And for God sakes - why should WE have to check the damn toilet seat - once and for all - just put it down where God intended it to be out of sheer courtesy to us! You have NO idea of what it's like to fall into ice water in the middle of the night - butt first!

08-01-2005, 03:33 AM	#12
Rene #1 Senior Member Join Date: May 22, 2004 Location: cali Posts: 1,849	all of em are just about true except 16
	__________________ GO SOX Gob: Tell you what we're gonna do: "Rock Paper Scissors" for it! Michael: No, no I'm not - Gob: One, two, three! Paper covers rock. Michael: It is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. It's kind of like on a boat with "Women and children first." I mean, why should they -

08-01-2005, 05:05 AM	#13
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	29 isn't true. My last girlfriend was amazing in that department. Detailed sketches and diagrams are available upon request.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations